Travis Heinrich

Radiohead - The King of Limbs - [Self Released]

Radiohead made an unsurprising pounce on the internet a fortnight back, announcing the sudden release of their 8th studio album ‘The King of Limbs’. Notions of it being the world’s first ‘newspaper album’ (which is still yet to be fully understood) coincided with thick worldwide anticipation.

Fast-forward slightly, and millions of faces around the globe are simultaneously painted in light provided by Youtube and the hyper-expressionistic dance of Thom Yorke. The video is the terribly rhythmic ‘Lotus Flower’; a marriage of Yorke’s falsetto and the bands off-centre ability to haunt. The video and song planted puzzled looks around the traps, but it was soon marred with acceptance as the rest of KOL trickled into existence. ‘Bloom’ opens shop, delivering a seemingly Steve Reich influenced display of pouring horns, strings and electronic echoes. The percussion pulsates maturely throughout the song - as it does throughout most of the album. Saying that, sections of the album feel like dance music cloaked in Radiohead, allowing the quieter numbers to stand out. As the first syrupy half of the record is seemingly Warp records influenced, it’s the last 4 tracks that truly glow. Following Lotus Flower, Codex burns with a furiously minimal intensity, halting the momentum charmingly. ‘Give up the Ghost’ is next, the truest example of genius crescendo. Its layers of slow-motion seep into the closing track, ‘Separator’, delightfully. The optimistic melody is akin to an early morning, and closes the swift 37 minutes of KOL up on an unusually upbeat tone. No Kid A, but still fucking grand.

Lovers of the magic pipe

WHAT: That One Guy
WHEN: Thurs Nov 18
WHERE: Transit Bar

Words from That One Guy himself: “Hello Friends in Canberra! That One Guy here.  Me and the magic pipe, magic boot, and magic saw are looking forward to rocking with y'all at the Transit Bar. We're going to have a funky good time! That’s a promise from me and the rest of the ‘band’. Awoooooooooo!” You heard the man. Magic pipe, magic boot and magic saw. That One Guy plays an instrument he designed and built called The Magic Pipe, a seven-foot tall collection of swivelling pipes, metal gears, bass strings and electronic buttons, all connected by a rainbow of coloured wires that has to be seen, and certainly heard, to be believed.

Strapping young things

Fun Machine are tour. Like all good cadventures, let’s meet at a bar in Civic above the Pancake Parlour. Then, if you don’t have any summer plans, wish your family convoyage and pack extra vaganza for hitting the road! There will be antics, cycling, blood transfusions, NBL matches and a break for Meredith. Get the dates at www.myspace.com/morefunmachine! This is a genuine invitation for open-minded people who enjoy summer, particularly if you have necessary tour skills like meatless snack preparation or break-dance helmet ownership. Send any questions to nutsaboutbrazilnuts@gmail.com.

You!

WHAT: Belconnen Festival’s Riot Stage and Silent Disco
WHEN: Fri Nov 12 and Sat Nov 13
WHERE: Margaret Timpson Park and Paved Area and Hidden Garden near Belconnen Library

Emily Loomes, coordinator of the youth section of Belconnen Community Festival has been talking to young people in the Belconnen area through schools, social networking sites and U-Turn Youth Services since June this year. The result of her consultation is The Riot Stage at the Belconnen Festival and a Silent Disco at the Festival Opening Party. The Riot Stage includes free food, performances and workshops. The centrepiece is an amazing Gypsy Caravan Stage packed with local bands, including Rubycon, Steady the Fall and a stack more. The Silent Disco kicks off the night before at 6.30pm. For all the info head to www.bcsact.com.au.

You! Yes, you!

WHAT: A Night for the Whales
WHEN: Thurs Nov 18
WHERE: Tilley’s

On Thursday November 18 you've got the opportunity to see buccaneer Captain Paul Watson update Canberrans with word from the frontier of the whale war. Cap’n Watson is the infamous founder of the Sea Shepherd crew that seize the high seas to stop whales being slaughtered for ‘research’ and Iron Chef. This is a rare chance for fascinating stories, plus you’ll help: the night’s a fundraiser for their upcoming Antarctica campaign, and there's an afterparty happening at The Front featuring D'Opus and other top notch Canberra acts. See you there.

Beth n Ben

WHAT: EP Launch with Fun Machine, Big Score, and The Cashews
WHEN: Sun Nov 14, 3-7pm
WHERE: Corroboree Park (or in the hall if the weatherman is mean)

Words from Ben himself: “We've been on the road touring our brand new EP Boarding Pass and have a huge gig lined up with the Canberra Musicians Club for the official Canberra launch. We decided on a Sunday arvo so it would be both family and hangover friendly. Our good friends Fun Machine and Big Score are coming along to support us and we're making The Cashews come and do Cashewy covers of the bands playing on the day as a bit of payback for their CD launch. CMC will be running a bar and BBQ, and there'll be ball games and other frivolities. Entry is $12/10 or $17/15 with a CD.”

Strapping young things

WHAT: Fun Machine Tour Paunch with Rubycon
WHEN: Fri Nov 26, 9pm
WHERE: The Clubhouse

Fun Machine are tour. Like all good cadventures, let’s meet at a bar in Civic above the Pancake Parlour. Then, if you don’t have any summer plans, wish your family convoyage and pack extra vaganza for hitting the road! There will be antics, cycling, blood transfusions, NBL matches and a break for Meredith. Get the dates at www.myspace.com/morefunmachine ! This is a genuine invitation for open-minded people who enjoy summer, particularly if you have necessary tour skills like meatless snack preparation or break-dance helmet ownership. Send any questions to nutsaboutbrazilnuts@gmail.com.

The Loved Ones In Season Passes

Dangerous Love

The Loved Ones is a vivid, sexy rollercoaster of a ride that takes the conventions of horror and runs them off the rails. Brent has never recovered from the night of the car crash that killed his father: the crash that he was responsible for. His only solace is his loving girlfriend Holly. But there's another girl who yearns to comfort Brent, the quietest girl in school Lola, and when he turns down her invitation to the prom he enters a nightmare beyond imagining. A terrifying series of events take place under a mirrored disco ball, involving pink satin, glitter, syringes, nails and power drills. Brent must summon every ounce of will he possesses if he is to survive and prevent Lola and her father from extending her revenge to those he loves the most. Sounds creepy as hell. We’ve got 20 in-season passes to giveaway. To score, send an email to editorial@bmamag.com telling us about the greatest horror flick ever.

The Capital Rock Music Festival Tickets

Capital RAWK!

The Capital Rock Music Festival, hitting The Maram on Saturday November 20, will feature some of the hottest alternative and progressive rock bands in Australia. Among them include Sydonia (touring with Korn shortly after the festival), Jericco (recently toured with Dead Letter Circus), Breaking Orbit (who will be releasing their second single Callsign), Bellusira (fresh off their co-headline tour of New Zealand) as well as local favourites Atlantis Awaits, Escape Syndrome, Spoil, and many more.

We have one tasty ticket to give away. Simply send an email to editorial@bmamag.com telling us your hot tip for Canberra’s best metal act.

Bone Thugs-N-Harmony Double Pass

Give a dog a bone

The rise of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony is a classic example of the American Dream – a group of five young men who had a goal and would not allow any barriers to stop them from attaining it. Layzie Bone, Krayzie Bone, Wish Bone, Flesh-N-Bone and Bizzy Bone went from being broke, hungry and homeless in 1993, to watching their unique brand of fast-paced, flowing, rapid-fire, harmonized rap, dubbed the ‘Cleveland Sound’, hit the top of the charts. With over 30 million albums sold worldwide, and tracks recorded with some of the most respected names in the business including 2Pac, Notorious B.I.G, and Mariah Carey to name but a few, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony are back with a new album entitled Uni-5: The World’s Enemy and are celebrating the release with an Australian Tour in November. They’re stopping by The Southern Cross Events Centre on Friday November 12, and we have a tasty double pass to give away. If you want in, send an email in rap form to editorial@bmamag.com telling us why you reckon you should win.

The Dirty Secrets Double Passes

I got the key, I got the secret

Fresh off their tour supporting Amy Meredith and their spot on the Fat as Butter festival, The Dirty Secrets hit Transit Bar on Thursday November 4, supported by Rubicon and special guests. Following the success of their last EP and supports for bands such as Muse, OK Go, MSTRKRFT and Van She, the band will be trying out their new soon to be released material over the coming months. We’ve got five doubles to give away. Simply drop editorial@bmamag.com a line telling us your dirtiest secret. We promise not to tell.

Saw VII 3D In Season Double Passes

In October 2010, one of the biggest, most successful horror franchises in movie history arrives in theatres in vivid, chilling 3D. In the final instalment, a deadly battle rages over Jigsaw's brutal legacy. A group of Jigsaw survivors gather to seek the support of self-help guru and fellow survivor Bobby Dagen (Sean Patrick Flanery) a man whose own dark secrets unleash a new wave of terror. The first theatrical feature shot exclusively on the cutting-edge S1-3D digital camera system, Saw VII 3D brings the horrifying games of Jigsaw to life like never before. We’ve got ten in-season double passes to give away. To win, shoot an email to editorial@bmamag.com telling us about the most gruesome, gory, gut-wrenching thing you’ve ever seen.

Western Synthetics

WHAT: Dub step 
WHEN: Saturday November 6 
WHERE: The Clubhouse 

Okay, so truth be told, dub step is like the misunderstood child of the family; particularly with its recent status of everyone-is-remixing-in-its-style but few are doing it spectacularly enough to make it of general listening interest. Western Synthetics (aka Rhyece O’Neill) is an Australian artist who is proudly putting his name out and clearing up any misconceptions about the genre on his recently released album May Day Radio. The album is a delectable mix of acid, dub, techno and psychedelia and he’s proudly being brought to Canberra by new night spot, The Clubhouse (located above the Pancake Parlour in Civic). Head to www.subcontintentaldub.com for some listening before the show.

Phatchance

WHAT: Hip-hop overload
WHEN: Fri Oct 29
WHERE: ANU Bar

I want to like Australian hip-hop a lot more than I do, which on a scale of one to ten is at a generous 2.5 at the moment, and only there because I adore the bald contributor of this rag know as Roshambo. But, guys like the aforementioned Phatchance will probably win me over in the end. He’s original, quick witted and cuts a sentence like Poe never could dream of. As part of his nationwide tour he’s heading to the ANU Bar, with support from Johnny Utah. My gin n juice cup runneth over. Natch.

The Bon Scotts

WHAT: Rollicking rock and/or roll
WHEN: Thu Oct 14
WHERE: The Front Café and Gallery

It’s important to note right up front that The Bon Scotts are not a cover band. It’s more a case of if Bon Scott had lived to an age to spread his seeds to seven fine women and the products all managed to meet one day on the street, all had the musical talent of their forbearer and happened to name the band after daddy dearest (may he rest in peace), they’d be this band. Their new album Oddernity is basically summed up in the name with a dash of unique delightfulness thrown in. Head to www.thebonscotts.com for a sampling.

Sophie Hutchins

WHAT: Pick of the ish
WHEN: Fri Oct 22
WHERE: The Street Theatre

Another brilliant gig from the marvellous gang at hellosQuare, Sydney wonder Sophie Hutchins is heading our way with a freshly released solo project Becalmed. Filled with instrumentals based around her piano playing sensibilities, and all the bows of the string instruments rainbow, it’s quite the Australian masterpiece. If you know legendary quartet FourPlay, you’ll love band member Peter Hollo’s solo project, Julian Day and Raven. Sadly it’s the final hellosQuare gig for the year, but a well deserved break is in order, so spend your $15 well and be there at the respectable time of 7.30pm.

mcArtney

WHAT: multi-instrumentalist madness
WHEN: Thu Oct 21
WHERE: The Front Café and Gallery

Back in the days of my youth, kids of 11 used to run around sprinklers, ride bikes, live for Frosty Fruits and think Destiny’s Child would shake it forever. But, as we get older, you find out there was a lot more to the world (I know… hard to imagine). Solo artist mcArtney spent his wayward youth with ears pressed to recordings of Cobain on a guitar; cliché in theory, but in practice, the now multi-instrumentalist has taken it many steps further and become quite the multi-instrumentalist. Heading to Canberra with his new album For Her, it’s definitely one to check out.

Chemical Transport @ Alliance Youth Centre, Calwell on Sat Oct 2

Chemical Weapons

Chemical Transport have already had a massive year with the release of their debut EP We’re Not Alone to most recently supporting Switchfoot, Senses Fail, MM9, Snob Scrilla and an intimate acoustic set with MXPX’s Mike Herrera on their respective Sydney shows. Now the Sydney five-piece are about to embark on their Down, Down tour in support of the single of the same name. They’ll be hitting the Alliance Youth Centre in Calwell on Saturday October 2 for an all ages romp.

You

WHAT: Woden Valley Festival
WHERE: Eddison Park
WHEN: Sat Nov 6

Fairy floss, sunshine, pony rides, middle aged people as opposed to the retirees at Floriade… what’s not to like? The Woden Valley Festival is back for another ripping year as usual, and will be filled with rides, food from around the world, themed villages, roving performers and a bucket load of local music talent! Performances will be coming at you all day from the likes of Dan Banks Band, Julia and the Deep Sea Sirens, D’Opus and Roshambo, The Wedded Bliss, Minh Ha and more. Head to www.wodenvalleyfestival.org, and get ready for plenty of fun in the sun.

You and your finest lyrical skills

WHAT: Pass the Mic
WHERE: www.kopyprik.com
WHEN: Now!

Okay, so there’s always some comp and some amazing prize up for grabs, but this definitely takes the annual prize giving cake. Old masters of rhyme, Bone Thugs N Harmony are heading to Canberra and the good folks at KP Recordz have managed to secure a support slot for one local MC or group. All you have to do is live in the ACT or Queanbeyan and head to www.kokyprik.com and upload your finest tune before Friday October 22. The three finalists will be flown to LA for a final judgement, and be well on their way to superstardom.

Grouper

WHAT: Pick of the ish
WHERE: The Street Theatre
WHEN: Sun Oct 3

Well seeing we’ve all heard about Portland, Oregon and the hipster/folk wonderment to come forth from the place, it’s about time someone playing a different tune came to town. Over the past few years, Grouper (aka Liz Harris) has been gaining a lot of recognition; her songs are densely compelling, layered with glowing washes of reverb, howling with echoes of delay. Sealing the deal on the afternoon, HellosQuare have also lined up Melbourne band Ghost of 29 Megacycles as support and there’ll be a live 7” available for sale at the gig. Tickets are $10 on the door and it kicks off at 3pm. Head to www.hellosquarerecordings.com for more info.

Beth’n’Ben

WHAT: Album release
WHERE: In places that sell music
WHEN: Fri Oct 15

Well, here I’ll say it. Local kids done good is what this is. Beth’n’Ben have been playing in various bands around these parts for years now, and it seems they’re about to strike it big. The duo’s fusion of folk, roots, soul, jazz and reggae has been catching many ears recently with their single Little Lady doing incredibly well on the triple j unearthed stakes, and even grabbing Phil Rigger’s attention enough to throw them into the studio and produce their debut EP Boarding Pass. And there’ll most definitely be a tour on the way so keep your eyes peeled and head to www.myspace.com/bethnben for a listen.

Shazam

WHAT: Party ‘til your pants fall off
WHERE: Transit Bar
WHEN: Sat Oct 2

That’s right folks, ol’ Party By Jake are doing it again. And by ‘it’ I mean hosting another killer evening for you all. This time they’re presenting us with one of the finest Australian party music producers, all the way from Perth, Shazam. In preparation for his upcoming debut album release, Shazam will blow you away with some previously unheard mixes and his incredible style. He’ll be hitting the decks along with the Party By Jake all stars Offtapia, Princi, Staky, Hazan and Celebrity Sex Tape. Tickets are available through Moshtix or on the door. For more info head to www.partybyjake.com.

Leah Flanagan

WHAT: Album launch
WHEN: Sunday October 3
WHERE: The Front Café and Gallery

Recently I’ve been lead to believe that nothing frightens a man yet arouses him more than a powerful solo woman. Look at Sinead O’Connor in the Nothing Compares To You clip; all bald headed and broken heartedness oozing from her pores. Thankfully there’s nothing frightening about Leah Flanagan, in fact she’s incredibly kind and welcoming, with bucket loads of talent. So check her before she tours with Sinead later in the year. She’s launching her new album Nirvana Nights and it’s going to be an evening filled with all sorts of piano/guitar/ukulele melodies. Entry is $10 on the door, and the show kicks off at 7pm.

Super Raelene Bros

WHAT: Desrt funk
WHERE: The Front Café and Gallery, Pot Belly Bar
WHEN: Thurs Sept 16, Fri Sept 17

Super Raelene Brothers are a two-piece from Alice Springs who produce more funk thank most nine-pieces. They hit number one on Unearthed with their anti-uranium mining single Wiya Angela Pamela, and our dear Ed tells me their performances are a celebration: a brash, joyous, intimate, stomp-out. And if that doesn’t sell you on it, I don’t know what will. It’s their maiden Canberra show, so let’s make it a helluva good one. Doors open at 8pm, and if you can’t make it to Thursday’s show, there’ll be another the following evening at The Pot Belly in Belconnen. Head to www.superraelenebrothers.com for more information.

You, you head trashing lover

WHAT: Capital Rock Music Festival
WHERE: The Maram
WHEN: Sat Nov 20

It is with the pride of a new parent (and no, this is not being written by Sko) that this fine ol’ rag and Axxis Management announce a day of out and out metal madness that will surely go down in history as the finest festival to ever hit these here shores, Capital Rock Music Festival. Prepare for an overdose of talent, with the first line-up including the likes of Sydonia, Breaking Orbit, Zero Degrees, Bellusira, locals Tonk and all the way from New Zealand, These Four Walls. Stay tuned to catch the second line-up and for more info about tickets.

Mantra

WHAT: The Finest Crunk Juice
WHERE: Transit Bar
WHEN: Thurs Sept 23

Okay, so I’m admittedly a mighty simpleton when it comes to Australian hip-hop, but, I do know that Mantra is making headlines around the tracks with his debut album Power of the Spoken. With productions from M-Phazes, Count Bounce and Mista Savona, it’s bound to be a winner. And we all know that hip-hop is best served live with a little sampling of the bar’s finest crunk juice on the side, and this gig will be no different. Mantra will be hitting your ears along with support acts Loose Change and Alikeminds. So best be prepared mah bitchez. Uhh. Yeah. That’s right.

Australian Art Orchestra

WHAT: Crossing Roper Bar
WHERE: Llewellyn Hall, ANU
WHEN: Wed Sept 22

Creative projects don’t come much better than this I must say. Earlier in the year the Australian Art Orchestra teamed up with the Wagilak Gujarra/Nyilabigi people to create a fusion of contemporary jazz and traditional indigenous music, now known as Crossing Roper Bar. Focusing on a collaboration of genres, the powerful exchange of music between cultures, the very old and the very new, it’s set to be an unforgettable and undoubtedly inspiring concert. Doors open at 7.30pm and tickets available through Ticketek. For more info or to listen to tunes head to www.aao.com.au .

Purple Sneakers

WHAT: Monthly
WHERE: Transit Bar
WHEN: Fri Sept 24

Just when you think we all might start to bore of Purple Sneakers, they do something fabulous like throw an official after party for newbies on the block Richard In Your Mind, and prove that they still know how to throw a party and a half. The band promises (unofficially) to kindly humour you with awkward small talk, and even play their very own set. As per usual PhDJ will wow you and woo you via the decks, while local support comes from Kill the Landlord, Lucky Punk and mystery men Lost In Prague. Leave your door money at home and get there after 7pm.

All you local gig lovers

WHAT: Digbyfest
WHERE: Woden Youth Centre
WHEN: Sat Sept 25

Slam a bunch of up and coming indie/alternative acts from across the capital together and what do you get? Ladies and gents, we are proud to present to you, for the third year running, Digbyfest. Hosted by the red headed sir himself, Digby Tomes, and featuring acts such as Turbulence, Pleased to Jive You, Astrochem, West of the Sun and Melbourne based Paqman, it’s bound to be $10 well spent. There are more bands to be announced, so stayed tuned to their Facebook event page. The night runs from 6-10pm, and saving the best info ‘til last, it’s all ages.

You

WHAT: Delights of the anime world
WHEN: September 2 – 15
WHERE: Dendy Cinemas

As someone who hardly even understands the general outline of what anime is, let alone who the kings and queens of the industry are, I have to admit even I find this press release exciting. Madman invites you to experience the visual splendour, unadulterated joy and eye-popping thrills of anime on the big screen for Reel Anime 2010. Featuring a hand-picked selection of animated feature films from Japan, Reel Anime 2010 is a wholly different kind of event, with each film showcasing the best that the new wave of anime has to offer. Tickets can be booked online, and for more info head to www.madman.com.au/reelanime .

Anarchist Duck

WHAT: Quacktastic tunes
WHEN: Saturday August 28
WHERE:  The Front Café and Gallery 

Okay so people are always referring to ‘it’. You’ve got ‘it’, ‘it’s’ not going to happen. I don’t even know what ‘it’ is, but according to Gold Coast band Anarchist Duck, Canberra has it. For the uninitiated, Anarchist Duck are a ridiculous mix of funk, reggae, rock and rhymes and dance moves you almost forgot about. For anyone familiar with their work, well, you don’t even need to read this, just check the date and make sure you get there on time. Head to www.myspace.com/anarchistduck for a listen and get there early as it’s likely to fill out pretty quickly.

Deep Sea Arcade

WHAT: Pyramid meets Party By Jake
WHEN: Saturday August 28
WHERE: Transit Bar

On the day of writing this, I wish it was the day of this gig. When there’s nothing but grey skied gloom filling your view, a little surf pop-rock-shazam-psych-lo-fi-whatever-the-kids-are-calling-it-these-days would be nice. In the currently oversaturated market, Deep Sea Arcade is doing a pretty smashing job of creating their own little niche in a giant wading pool that is Australian music. The night starts at 8pm with support from This Vacant Field and Party by Jake DJs; entry is $5. Check out songs Don’t Be Sorry and Lonely in Your Arms to see why they’re the perfect headliner for this sure to be excellent event.

Justin Carter

WHAT: Winter Warming Tour
WHEN: Thursday August 19
WHERE: Transit Bar

After a smashing set in June, coastal bluesman Justin Carter and his right hand man Johnny Rollins are returning to Canberra as part of their east coast Winter Warming tour to deliver some more of their delectable mixture of surf rock, soul and grungy blues. With fans from the driest of deserts and wettest of wetlands, the duo are slowly but surely carving out quite the name for themselves as ones to watch. The night kicks off from 9pm with local songstress Ashleigh Mannix. Tickets are $10 on the door. For more info check out www.justincartermusic.com .

Rubix Cuba

WHAT: Seven piece ska attack
WHEN: Saturday August 28
WHERE: Phoenix Bar

I don’t know about you guys, but as a child I hated the Rubik’s Cube. Their unmanageable twists and colour matching threw my sweet temperament out the window, the cube along with it. But thankfully, ska met the Rubik’s cube, got turned on it’s head and a band got spat out at the end of it. Rubix Cuba are fresh from the studio and on the road to tour their new album With Life. Like many other ska bands, they’re filled with crazy antics, catchy tunes and a wild live show, so if you like ska a little, you’ll like Rubix Cuba a lot.

Fun Machine, Joe Oppenheimer and Tom Piano

WHAT: A veritable smorgasbord of local talent
WHEN: Friday August 20
WHERE: The Pot Belly, Belconnen

Belconnen and surrounds take heed! Blowing away the standard trio of dips is a local gig combination that’s bound to have your tastebuds baffled but no doubt thrilled by the end of it. The affable mischief makers and known-in-these-parts gang Fun Machine (BYO headbands) will be joined by the magnificent wandering minstrel Joe Oppenheimer and the kookiest man behind the keys, Tom Piano for a night of music that’ll make your ears shower you in praise. The gig hits off from 9pm and is freer than City News. Check out www.myspace.com/joeoppenheimer and www.myspace.com/morefunmachine for a taster of what you’re in for.

Horse MacGyver

DIY is a term that holds special meaning for Canberra musicians and fans, as it seems to have become our cultural necessity. This is a direct response to our town’s geographically languished position in the tug-o-war between Sydney and Melbourne. Previously expected to journey to the big smoke for innovation; we brought the mountain to Mohammed instead. HORSE MACGYVER, (previously named- if you're really curious pic up the mag - the characters nearly broke our interweb) - a moniker with no phonetic pronunciation, although many have tried) is the brainchild of local artist Tim Dwyer. The confusion around his literally symbolic name led him to being named ‘VOID’, by critics/internet vultures; and it’s seem to have stuck, as it’s now the name of his most recent and by far most poignant release to date.

Dwyer’s previous work has been lazingly pigeonholed as ‘drag’ or ‘witch haus’ – two new fad generalisations better left ignored. Thankfully however, VOID continues along Dwyer’s independent line of making original music - all whist retaining a sense of accessibility, which is no easy task.

Tangibly, VOID is kitsch. Like many recent Canberran releases, the medium of choice is cassette, with Dwyer’s disheveling artwork cocooning the sky-blue frame. It’s worth mentioning that each and every copy has been hand dubbed by Dwyer himself.  

The eight tracks are deeply synthetic and grimy, elongated over stretches of what could be considered super-slow-mo drum’n’bass with a heavy pop element. It has inklings of break-core influence shining through too, like it’s held together by string and will fall apart at any moment. Spooky, grueling and quite frankly hypnotising, the beats Dwyer has chosen to use don’t gallop at you; they creep and leer like a sinister magic trick. It doesn’t crescendo, but tricks you into thinking it does - like a shepherd tone. His tracks most noticeably peak with the addition of a voice or horn, such as Trollweed, which implements what sounds like a pan-flute, played over a VHS tape of an 80’s factory-action movie staring Dolph Ludgren. Occasionally his heavily processed voice is used and is surprisingly melodic- which adds greatly to the DIY aesthetic. Spit Shine shows his use of unclean, lo-fi pop inspiration the best. Explaining it is not easy. Drunken Kung Foo Sitar with beats made by a snail?  Add 8-bit video gaming in there, as well as ‘Boyz in the Hood’ and you’re about as close as an explanation can get. All in all- it’s the bee’s knees.

On further explorations, VOID offers loads of different things. Tracks that sounds like Golden Eye 64 – Drunken keyboard bends, howling vocals and the echoing thumps of well made car commercials. It’s truly an ordeal to get through, but one that you dust your walkman off for and listen to again and again; it gets better with every listen.

DIY like this may not feel at first that it obtains any frills, but its there, so just listen. You’ll get the frills in your own time.

Ha Ha Bar

WHAT: You and your LOLs
WHEN: Sunday August 8
WHERE: Ha Ha Bar

Okay, so due to loser ACT government laws and the inclement weather, Sunday sessions are pretty much a dying thing. Except in ye olde Belconnen. Or, as Al likes to call it, Belcompton. To celebrate winning the 2010 Out In Canberra Favourite Nightlife Venue Award, and to thank all the lovely voters, they’re throwing a bit of an afternoon affair. Featuring Hancock Basement, Gemma and John, D’Opus and Roshambo and Ced Nada and loads of alcohol, it’s set to be a great afternoon. Call in sick, stock up on Berocca, and be there from 3pm.

First Base Music

WHAT: The cream of the independent music crop
WHEN: Saturday August 21
WHERE: The Pot Belly

It’s hard to know where to turn in this world as a musician, especially when “The Man” is constantly trying to get you down and cheat you out of money. Thankfully, First Base Music is a resource for independent musicians and songwriters, and is even run by people from within the industry. They’ll promote your music online to the industry, help you organise gigs and, best of all, involve you in the community. They’ll also be hosting a bunch of gigs to support their artists, kicking off with David Christopher, Julianne Cowley, Pete Akhurst and Jane Williams. So get along and get involved. 

Capital Dub Step

WHAT: Reggae Dancehall session 
WHEN: Saturday August 14 
WHERE: Monkey Bar 

In a town where everyone is hunting for a new home, Capital Dub Style’s top ranking reggae session has managed to crack the market and make a return to the polished wood. Teaming up with Goodfoot Productions, this month’s Pull Up dance-a-thon promises the finest reggae and dancehall tunes, with an eclectic splash of reggaeton, afrobeat, and some alterlatino sounds. JR Rebel will be lending vocals during the night to help you shimmy your way into the title of local dancehall legend. The night kicks off at 9pm and your finest moves and attire are welcome.

Low Freqz

WHAT: Globe trotting electro
WHEN: Saturday August 14
WHERE: Hippo Bar

Low Freqz is one of those ideas that make you really love this town. Taking the simple idea of ‘if we like, surely other people do too’ comes a night filled with some of the best bass and beats from around the world. Sassed up with sub-bass oriented genres, including dubstep, grime, future garage, D&B, hip-hop, IDM, glitch and anything else they can get their hands on, the night will include electro composer/engineer Nick De Friez on the decks and also launch German underground legend Shed’s second LP, The Traveller. Regulars Ced Nada, D’Opus, Jemist and Faux Real will be kicking things off from 8pm.

Java Quartet

WHAT: Jazz ‘n’ Bass
WHEN: Friday August 13
WHERE: Innovation Centre, UC

Yeah you read it right. Jazz ‘n’ Bass it is my friends. After 15 years together, Sydney’s Java Quartet has come back with their most exciting production yet. What started as a postgraduate music project for leader Michael Galeazzi ended up delving into all the wonders of digital beats, textures, chopping up their back catalogue of music, throwing in some Indian raga and a bit of good old drum ‘n’ bass, and coming up with their sixth album, Rejavanation. To tide you over ‘til the sure-to-be amazing gig, head to www.javaquartet.com.au and get yourself a free download of their first single from the album.  

Shane Howard

WHAT: Founder of seminal Australian rockers, Goannas
WHEN: Friday August 13
WHERE: John Lingard Hall, Canberra Grammar School

It took a stint in the desert of Tuscon, Arizona to get the ball rolling, but Shane Howard is back with his latest album offering, Goanna Dreaming. There’s a bit of something for everyone with a mix bag of folk, world and rock music, all spun together with the masterful storytelling of Howard’s words. As part of the Goanna Dreaming nationwide tour, Howard is slamming on the breaks in our capital for one night only. Show starts at 8pm with food and refreshments available. Head to www.shanehoward.com.au for more info and bookings.

Ungus Ungus Ungus

WHAT: A rollicking and rocking good time 
WHEN: Wednesday July 14 
WHERE: The Front Cafe and Gallery 

What do you get when you cross the funkadelic, psychedelic, rockadelic tunes of Sydney’s Ungus Ungus Ungus with the pop fuelled, hypermatic, flying-off-the-handles-happiness of Canberra band Fun Machine? $10 bloody well spent I say. They’ll be packing em’ in and throwing them around the floor at The Front when Ungus Ungus Ungus stop in as part of a nationwide tour. And when it comes to showing first timers how things are done, there’s none better than the loveable lad and lass of the currently compact Fun Machine, taking one for the team this time ‘round with their bassist off gallivanting through Europe. Fun times ahead.

Alohas, Arrowhead and Ajinomoto

What: Rubber thong rock out
When: Saturday July 24
Where: Phoenix Bar

Ahhh there’s nothing like a good old fashioned road trip to warm the cockles of your heart. Well the above names might have given it away, but for the sake of clarity, the Alohas hail from Sydney and play surf music. Arrowhead are allegedly masters of fuzz, and Ajinomoto are a Japanese duo from Newcastle that play garage punk. The three bands have teamed up for some road tripping and are bringing their Attack of the Killer A’s tour to Phoenix for some Saturday night rollicking sans surf. Tickets are xxx on the door. 

Nim, In Sepia, Encircling Seas, Hoodlum Shouts, Mornings

What: Japanese rockers
When: Wed July 7
Where: Bar 32

Some hungry young go-getter from the streets just trying to make a name for themselves in this two-bit town is bringing a swagger of bands to Bar 32 for you, me and any other interested parties willing to part with $10. Mornings and the very fine Hoodlum Shouts will be warming up for interstate acts In Sepia and Encircling Sea, who will then be warming up for Nim, coming all the way from Japan. So really, lots of warming and lots of music. Well worth 10 bucks and giving up a Wednesday evening at home.

You and your finest flannel

What: Pyjama music marathon
When: Saturday July 7
Where: McGregor Hall

Ah local pride! It’s a glorious thing (unlike national pride which is generally embarrassing for everyone smart enough to resist a tattooist’s attempts to ink you with a Southern Cross). In the spirit of sending McGregor Hall off into the rubble world with a bang, the Canberra Musicians Club is organising a weekend music marathon sleepover aptly titled Pyjamanalia. Julia and the Deep Sea Sirens will be there raising funds for their latest album Family Pets (and delivering promised cupcakes), and locals Voss, Fire on the Hill and Drew Walky will also be in attendance with a bunch of others. Did someone say pillow fight?

Australian Youth Orchestra

What: Classical music
When: Saturday July 17
Where: Llewellyn Hall

Fact: classical music is boss. If you like it you can be all ‘I can now talk to my grandparents’ and ‘I’m really cultured and yes I’ve been to New York’, and ‘Ooohh that cellist is a bit of a babe’. Australian Youth Orchestra is a collection of over achieving kids from across the nation that are starting their tour in Canberra and heading off to China and the UK after a string of nationwide dates. Catch them at Llewellyn Hall and hear the joy that is Rachmaninov, Mahler and the gang.

Stephan Bodzin

What: Deutsche wunderkind
When: Friday July 9
Where: Transit Bar

Well it’s been a little while since an international DJ came our way and blew our techno socks off; at least a month, so, in terms of the Canberra dance public time, that’s effectively a pinger’s eternity. Lollygag and Effigy are delightfully bringing Stephan Bodzin, the German wunderkid on the decks to Transit and his full blown visual and audio show with him. Local support from Scotty Fisher, Biggie and a marvellous bunch of others. Save your pennies for the party – tickets are $15 presale or $25 on the door.

Umlaut and El Salvo Tour

What: Magic and dance
Where: ANU Bar
When: Friday June 25

Well I never... magic and disco? Not quite... but pretty darn close. The dark brooding electro DJ Umlaut has decided to join forces for some trickery of the highest calibre and tour the country. After some of the biggest shows around the country independently, the duo will make their way to Canberra along with Yeti and Leisure Suit Larry for some serious uttering of abracadabra and alacazoo. It's BYO rabbits and top hats, but there's sure to be plenty of babe assistants in sequins that you can talk to awkwardly after the show. For more info head to www.myspace.com/umlautbarmckinnon and www.myspace.com/DrElSuavo . 

You and all your good will

What: Fundraiser
Where: 10-12 Cohen Street, Belconnen
When: Saturday July 3 

From the generous thinking of one very bright ANU graduate (of which there are many in this town) comes another brilliant idea that 's not only changing things, but doing it the right way. Abundant Water is a not for profit organisation that helps the people of Laos PDR not only get their daily water fresh, but shares the developing system and teaches the people every step of the way. As with all non profit orgs, Abundant Water needs our help. To raise funds they will be having an afternoon of information, food, dance and music. Check outwww.abundantwater.evenbrite.com for more info and help one of 2 million people in Laos get fresh water. 

British India

What: Tour date for your diary
Where: The Maram, Erindale
When:  Saturday July 3 

Well it's about time. After slogging their indie little hearts out for the last couple of years British India have found themselves in the ARIA charts and pushing the puny Veronica twins off of their pedestal. Hitting  the Groovin the Moo audience with an abundant mass of the masterful new tunes from their album Avalanche, they couldn't stay away and are making their way all the way back for one night only. With rave reviews from around the world, head to the Maram (formerly the Venue) and catch them before they head to a hipper overseas city, start shooting heroin and never return. 

Greenthief

What: Debut Canberra gig
Where: Bar 32
When: Friday July 2

It's a bit of a sore point when great bands announce a nationwide/east coast tour but there's no sign of Canberra on it. Thankfully the three lads of Brisbane's Greentheif have agreed to leave the warmth of Brisbane and head our way. In celebration of their new song Plea for Sanctuary the guys are making their way to Bar 32 to hit you with a blend of indie and psychedelia that's pretty familiar to our ears these days. The songs from their recently released EP Anicca will all be making an appearance on the set list, and it's well worth rugging up and heading out for. Especially as they'll be supported by locals Helen Margaret King.

Dream Damage Records

What: Fundraiser
Where: The Front Cafe & Gallery
When: Thursday June 17

Dream Damage Records, Canberra's very own wonder label of records, blog and promoters are having a good old fashioned fundraiser for, you guessed it, some much needed funds. To keep things going and to expand the website, release more local material, get a zine on the table and bring more acts to Canberra they need your coins. The night kicks off at 7.30pm and there'll be shows from Readymen, Suica and Danger Beach. Entry is by donation on the door, but give generously and enjoy the show. Head to www.dreamdamage.com for more info on artists and the label itself. 

You, you big rock star!

What: National Campus Band Comp
Where: aaca.net.au
When: Now!

Just like Uncle Sam needed young men to run onto battlefields, CITSA and UCLIVE need you! That is of course if you and your mates are aspiring musicians and want to get your band some recognition and possibly a trip to Perth at the end of the year. Hosted by CITSA and the lovely UCLIVE, they need your entries now! In every band's life there comes a time when you gotta move from the garage practice sessions and step out into the world of getting gigs and getting noticed. All you need to do is head to aaca.net.au and enter online and get practicing.

Once again, it’s you

WHAT: Canberra musicians rock out for children in Bangladesh
WHERE: The Basement
WHEN: Sat May 29 

Jason Campbell-Smith, frontman of Sunchaser and The Wayward Orchestra, has chivalry pouring out his ass. In a step to help the youth of rural Bangladesh gain greater access to education, he’s set up an almighty fundraiser to magnetise the Benjamins. To treat your ears, Smith’s own Sunchaser and The Wayward Orchestra are playing, along with Manilla Green, Starfish Hill, Mog, Eillen Francisco and Phil Wohlers. Don’t call it a box social; call it your next adventure kiddo. Canberra has had its luck (they’ve called our newest suburb Beard FFS), so dish out your clams and enjoy the talent Canberra has for a good cause.

Rafe! He’s putting on a Cabaret

WHAT: A Show to Make You Smile
WHERE: Tuggeranong Arts Centre
WHEN: Thur May 27, 28 & 29

Living in Canberra, hopefully you know Rafe. He’s that humble guitar strumming lad with a pocket full of smiles, rainbows and joy. Oh, and you may know Hadley too; stirring his whiskey with a rusty nail and sending swears into passing prams. When you combine the two you obviously get cabaret (what? Who’s writing this?). Rafe has some new songs and kindly asked five musicians to join him, whilst Hadley blackmailed some actors into performing amongst the tunes. With two of Canberra’s most creative forces teaming up this should be fucking excellent. It’s cabaret, songs, dance and circus. Just like those emails; if you miss this, your mother will die. $25/ $15. 

All your fashion conscious folk

WHAT: Party By Jake: A Royal affair
WHERE: Transit Bar
WHEN: Sun June 13

After I grooved the moo so to speak, I was reminded of what amazing potential Canberra has for gigs. Most likely you’re aware of the noise regulated red tape squeezed around our throats. It’s helped close Toast, threaten The Front and is doing battle with Transit. Transit is the best thing that’s happened to Canberra music culture in recent times, as it provides a plethora of eclectic, free events. Let’s add to that. Party By Jake: A Royal Affair is a night featuring clothing label Aviary, providing giveaways such as printed tees and hoodies. Hand drawn designs inspired by birds – it’s good stuff. Featuring Mingle DJs and Party By Jake DJs. It’s free and will warm you up kiddo.

Two Hours Traffic supporting Dead Letter Chorus

WHAT: A terrific Canadian foursome
WHERE: The Front Café and Gallery
WHEN: Wed June 16 

Back in Primary school (YPS for lyf), my best mate thought for the whole year that my name was Traffic. At the end of the year our parents met, with them asking my Mum “are you the mother of... Traffic?” “Um... Do you mean Travis?” my Mum replied. They laughed; probably in relief – as anyone naming there kid Traffic would be batshit crazy and not someone they want their kid near. So here’s the segue – Two Hours Traffic are a glorious Polaris prize nominated Canadian band, sounding like a poppier version of The Shins, and they’re supporting Dead Letter Chorus (pictured) at The Front. Territory is there next album; go have a listen yeah yeah.

You and your astronaut pants

WHAT: Australian Hip-Hop Championships
WHERE: The Street Theatre
WHEN: Sat June 12, 7pm (seniors), Sun June 13, 2pm (juniors)

Do you remember the ad where the Nesquik bunny poured Nesquik into a swimming pool and drank it all up? What the fuck was with that?? Dude that’s water, probably chlorinated and filled with scabs and bandaids. Nice job marketing, it actually made me too grossed out to buy your product. Of course, this is all completely irrelevant to the Australian Hip-Hop Championships happening at The Street Theatre. With over two hours of intensive arm and leg flailing from Canberra’s best dancers this is not to be missed and will feature internationally renowned B-boy Leerok from NZ, plus MC KG, DJ Richie Blaze and freestyle battles ahoy. Register your dance crew at grandjesterent@mail.com. Tix $25.

The 2010 Canberra Contemporary Art Space Zine Fair

WHAT: A Zine Fair! Mini DYI mags. Good shit
WHERE: CCAS (at Gorman House, in the city you muppet)
WHEN: Sat Jul 3, 11am – 4pm.

Are you drunk and considering driving home? You’ve seen those ads – Drink OR Drive. ‘What do I do?’ Bed that confusion pal, because I’ll suggest an alternative – speeding! If you’re drunk, just speed home! The faster you drive means you’ll be on the road for less time; therefore you’ll have less chance of having an accident. Better yet, speed to the Zine Fair at CCAS! They’re showcasing the region’s best DYI print makers in zine form. Canberra’s best publication (err… second to BMA) (good one Travis – Ed.), First World Youth Culture by Steven Pennington is showing, among others. CCAS want you and your zine on a table pal. Book your free stall by calling the ACT Writers Centre on 6262 9191 or email admin@actwriters.org.au .

Jackie Marshall

WHAT: A big-lunged Joplin inspired lass
WHERE: McGregor Hall
WHEN: Sat May 22 

From what I’ve heard, Jackie Marshall packs a fat lung. She spouts a mean vocal shake which Triple J have fondly clasped on to. Reviews suggest you “Think Janis Joplin, Dolly Parton and Martha Wainwright rolled into one”. Well I’m not sure how Martha and Dolly would feel being rolled up (in carpet I assume?) with a 40-year-old skeleton - but hey let’s hope they’re big fans. That might actually be quite a thrill for these long forgotten geriatrics - but who knows. I’m unaware if this is also a dream of Jackie’s, but I do know that her gig sounds pretty awesome. Catch her with Heath Cullen & The 45. 8pm, $20/$15.

Tonk

WHAT: Playing a very rare gig, so don’t miss out
WHERE: The Maram
WHEN: Sat May 29

Are you constantly doing the horns, shredding sweet licks and admiring your goatee in the reflection of a Woodstock can at a Kambah bus stop? Hey Tonk fan. Your favourite local band are busy penning their second album, but are having a somewhat special show (one of a few in 2010) at The Maram. Come see what they’ve been up to, go into British nanny mode and start shaking that head of dreads/baldness/unironic gelled spikes. Try to keep that Prince Albert in your pants when you see the equipment they have and how they make it work as a whole, and check out their snazzy blog for upcoming info, sister-switchblade.blogspot.com .

You

WHAT: The Human Rights and Film Festival 2010
WHERE: ARC Cinema
WHEN: Thu May 27 – Sat May 29

Sometimes it’s hard to proactively show your concern for certain world issues when socialists exist. Not all socialists - I’m talking the 18-22 yr old muggacino swilling fakes that haunt the ANU and litter their photocopied nonsense all about. They are why we can’t have nice things. Thankfully, people who know what the hell they’re doing are putting on the Human Rights Arts and Film Festival. Their aim is to raise awareness about human rights issues by bringing you the best films and art from around the globe, with special guest speakers for all films, and a poetry slam at The Front on the Friday. Tickets $15 for opening film night, $10 for the rest, $3 for the slam.

You, on a unicorn, possibly surrounded by Daleks

WHAT: Inner North Community Fair
WHERE: Hawdon St Oval, Dickson
WHEN: Sun May 16, 11am 

The Wetlands are a $13.9 million ACT Government initiative to improve water quality and enhance wildlife and water irrigation in the Inner North. There’s a community fair this Sunday to promote it with information about the project, entertainment and MOTHERFUCKING UNICORN RIDES. I knew the government had unicorns. Aside from this, there’s a clothes swap, and Indigenous dance and smoking ceremony and finally MOTHERFUCKING DALEKS. I’m not lying - this was all in the press release. If the government is secretly building nuclear missiles, with the Wetlands being a cover - then they have successfully distracted me with the unicorns and Daleks.

You

WHAT: ANUMuS REBOOTS - video game music played with gusto
WHERE: Gordon Arthur Hall, St John’s Church, Reid
WHEN: Sun May 23

The ANU Music Society’s first concert for 2010 will feature special arrangements of The Legend of Zelda, Pokémon, Mario, Tetris, plus a few movie jams like the Pirates (Caribbean, not porn) series, Indiana Jones and The Wizard of Oz. So pretty much as I see it, all the adults are dead and the music kids are playing the ‘forbidden music’ and eating ice cream for dinner every night. So trick your girlfriend into thinking you’re classy by taking her to a night of classical music, when in fact you’ll just be fantasising about getting a long piece (Tetris, not porn). Tricks = marriage. Tix $5/$12.

Brethren

WHAT: Sydney Hip-Hop Veterans
WHERE: The Front Café and Gallery
WHEN: Sun May 15

Word up to my Home Brews. Brethren are some of the founding members of Sydney hip-hop, comprised of Mistery and Wizdm (I’m unsure if the latter name is intentionally ironic, but it gets a gold star from me). The lads are celebrating 20 years of rhyming with the release of their new album Bastion. A man who needs no introduction, Chuck D, opens the album with a delightful introduction. Another gold star for Wizdm. Straight up hip-hop, Brethren are showcasing their new material at the wonderful Front and want you and your Home Brews to attend.

Moonchild, with Offtapia, Bricksta, Staky, Get Stellar and Party By Jake DJs

WHAT: HEARTBEAT
WHERE: Transit bar
WHEN: Sat May 8

The Heartbeat party juggernaut continues! I’m unsure at this point if it’s the same Heartbeat as that god-awful English drama series, but all signs point to ‘maybe’. For Saturday May 8 the guys have reeled in Sydney uber-dance wiz Moonchild. According to the press release, Moonchild is bringing his late night nu-disco rapture (whatever the hell that means) to Transit Bar. He’ll rule the night and, apparently, “make you fall in love”. What about those already in love? Is this guy promoting cheating? Edgy move. As always Heartbeat is free entry and this one will include some extra special Party By Jake giveaways for 15 lucky party-heads on the night.

Rob Swift

WHAT: A Master Turntablist
WHERE: Transit Bar
WHEN: Fri May 14

The tables have turned for Rob Smith for around ten years now, with his unique DJing technique fathoming praise from all sorts. His most recent release Architect has landed a comfortable place on Mike Patton’s label Ipecac Recordings, a sturdy place to parade his unique style of turntablism. Spouting inspiration from Mozart to Grandmaster Flash, the album shows that 1s and 2s are very much instruments, as opposed to the iPod DJs that seem to have plagued a substantial portion of our live music scene. If you’re after something innovative within this field, come along and peer at him shredding his tangibles at Transit Bar.

Alasdair Roberts

WHAT: Scottish alt-folk singer
WHERE: The Street Theatre
WHEN: Mon May 3

Alasdair Roberts has carved a comfortable niche for himself over the last decade or so in the contemporary British Isles music scene. Raised in Scotland, Roberts drew from his vast songbook of esoteric ballads, unfolding fables and haunting finger picking to present a collection of truly individual and engaged songwriting. He’s worked with the likes of Will Oldham and Sean O’Hagan (High Llamas) amongst others, and scored the No.4 album in The Wire in 2009. That’s not to be scoffed at in the slightest. Supported by the always-feisty Voss, this is looking to be a swell evening. $10, doors open at 8pm.

Everyone!

WHAT: Canberra International Music Festival
WHERE: Foreshore Gallery, Old Bus Depot, Kingston
WHEN: Sat May 22 11am-4pm

Music For Everyone is a free hands-on music shindig happening at the Old Bus Depot markets. Rock up at 11am, join the drum circle and just go fucking nuts on an instrument. They’ll have bells, drums and the plenty of whistles (boy are whistles annoying), but feel free to bring your gear too. If you play classical acoustic guitar, later on in the day you can be in the biggest guitar ensemble Canberra’s ever seen. Register and download the music online and show up with a music stand. Finally on the day, Rock Academy. Seven youth bands will pulverize some rock classics ’n’ originals. Fingers crossed some Huey Lewis and The News makes the cut. www.mfe.org.au.

You

WHAT: 15th Annual Canberra short film festival
WHERE: Dendy
WHEN: Entries open now, close July 30

Every jackhole seems to have a camera on their phone these days, with clips of people getting tasered/putting sunglasses on their dog appearing on YouTube all the time. Well hey, you should snake up that raw talent and apply it to something slightly grander – like the 15th Annual Canberra Short Film Festival. It will run over three nights from September 30 with up to $2,000 awarded over four categories (plus Peoples Choice awards). One of last year’s flicks, Miracle Fish, netted an Academy Award nomination. So make sure you’re pointing your camera at your gin-loaded buddy next time he tries to powerslam the coffee table. You’ll be snorting coke off Julia Roberts’ ass in no time.

DJ Naboo

WHAT: The Shaman from the Mighty Boosh, in DJ form
WHERE: Mesh, Tix from Moshtix   
WHEN: Thurs May 13

It’s a lacklustre effort that Australia hasn’t been offered the full Boosh stage show yet, but this is something you diehard hipster fans can still salivate over. Mike Fielding, aka Naboo - the least popular of the Fielding brothers from the Boosh (his brother being Noel, aka Vince) is touring Australia in May with his psychedelic voodoo DJ set. You love his acting, so go watch him play music. I’m not sure how that works to be honest, but I’m guessing you don’t care. Dress up as one of the characters and shout “I’m old Greg” until it stops being funny. Bring your mouth ready to crimp, and a belly ready to fill with Baileys.

You, beautiful

WHAT: ‘DISCO’
WHERE: Monkey Bar
WHEN: EEEEEEEVERY SATURDAY
 
Gary Glitter has done awful things to the word ‘glitter’. Whilst donning those speckled dots, he made bad music, bad danced and was far too god-awful for my liking. Well hey, his music might have been bad, but I’m sure he’s a good guy. Oh wait right, he nailed some kids. Whoopsie daises I forgot. Once upon a time, Monkey bar was called ‘Awkward bar’ (nice segue that) and was open for around 3 weeks. Business management people! Either way, Monkey bar rose from the ashes and is going strong. They have this thing that looks fun. Glitter, glam and retro music – every Saturday night. Get your bad dance on.

TNT Karaoke Dynamite competition!

WHAT: Yup, Karaoke.
WHERE: Transit Bar
WHEN: Running for 8 weeks!
 
“A bottle of milk thanks.” “Low fat, no fat, full cream, high calcium, high-protein soy, lite, skim, omega 3, high-calcium with vitamin D and folate or extra dollop?” Ok. How about you shut your wilted noise-hole you horrifying corpse. I’m sorry that science and cultural freedom has allowed us more choices, but if it wasn’t for them you’d be covered in boils in some dirt hole. Evidence that TV sucks, and that you should go outside. Karaoke has been proven by the Guinness Book of Records as the best thing ever – and here’s your ticket kiddo. Stop watching milk ads and go win some clams singing your favourite tune. As a plus, karaoke makes the pain temporarily go away.

FUNdraiser

WHAT: For Fun Machine! Because a robber snaffled their vault cheddar
WHERE: Macgregor Hall
WHEN: Fri 19 Mar
 
Geeze-Louise, now this is upsetting. Local delights Fun Machine are not only violently talented, but frightfully hard working as well. Sad to say, a bad-guy stole all the earnings from their genius album ‘More is More’ and now they are all crying. These guys have done, and are doing beyond fantastic things with the Canberra music scene and deserve a helping hand. Aside from Fun Machine, you get performances from Beth Monzo, Lady Grey, Cuddlefish, Jason Recliner, James Fahy Trio and the insanely good Joe Oppenheimer. I blame McDonalds. It’s that Hamburglar. Whose fucking idea was it to have a re-offending convicted criminal as their spokesperson?

All Our Friends

WHAT: Our very own fun-size version of We Love Sounds
WHERE: UC BAR               
WHEN: Sat 5 Jun
 
Step 1: Get a Credit Card with no limit. Step 2: Buy the credit company with the credit card. You then owe to debt to yourself, therefore it cancels itself out. Now that you’re a multi-millionaire and won’t have to work anymore, you’ll have to find something to do with your time. Gallivanting in your vault of cheddar will get boring after a while, so let me suggest an activity. The oh so peachy We Love Sounds has animorphed into an intimate club version of itself, warming our bastard winter with the likes of Laidback Luke, Tiga, Steve Aoki, Felix Da Housecat, Proxy, Joachim Gerraud plus more to be announced. Sounds Danceable. Buy tickets here

Strangeways 3D

WHAT: That zany troop of DJs – in 3D!
WHERE: Transit Bar
WHEN: Fri Mar 19
 
Well this is neat. The Strangeway lads have concocted their next gig around a 3D theme, one that I’m slightly wooed by. 3D projections and still images will pepper the walls, and you can view them with your FREE 3D GLASSES! It’ll be a ‘sidekick to the bully from a 50’s movie’ convention. Its so kitsch, it makes me want to get a slice of pizza from KC’s (after a round that migraine inducing virtual reality game), followed by an awkward fumble for the token to get my bag back from Impact Records and finally a drunken Meatbee gig at the Gypsy. Sigh. At least Transit is holding strong with free gigs like this.

Icarus

WHAT: The eel’s hips of experimental electronica
WHERE: The Street Theatre
WHEN: Fri March 25

Now, I was somewhat surprised whilst reading about Icarus for this tidbit. It seems that quite a few reviews state this UK duo as being the best live act they’ve ‘ever seen’. A huge call in anyone’s books, but I can’t ignore the sheer amount of freakin’ compliments they seem to get. In case you missed the ‘where’ part – It’s at the Street Theatre, a frightfully glorious live music venue. The entrees should add more saliva to your mouth, with HelloSqaure head honcho Shoeb Ahmed playing, along with (ex- Canberra Canon) Reuben Ingall and Luke Penders. Come sit on Gigmund Freud’s couch.

A glorious slew of astounding electronic acts

WHAT: Sunday’s Best Music Festival
WHEN: Sun 7th Mar
WHERE: ANU Bar

Pang!, Lollygag, and Cheese have been working hard to bring one of Canberra’s most diverse and exciting electronic music line-ups Canberra has seen to date.  Firstly the Genres - Disco, electro, electro-funk, trance, progressive, deep house, house, Breaks, techno, and minimal. Secondly, the lineup -  Greg Wilson (UK), Jaytech (UK/AUS), Housemester (GER), Vincenzo (ITA), Anoraak (FRA), Deekline (UK), Tydi (QLD), Bagraiders (Syd), Muscles (Mel), Marlo (Mel), and Canberran lovelords the Aston Shuffle. Where all these amazing are gigs coming from?? Isn’t the economy supposed to be fucked??

Interesting musicians with a focus on experimental practise

WHAT: Concrète
WHEN: Wed 3rd March
WHERE: The Front Café and Gallery, Lyneham

Huzzah! Now THIS is what I’m talking about. I may come off as grinchy on occasion, but it all pays off when a gig like this comes around. Local lad Luke Penders has done our town proud by ditching his modelling career to focus on planting smiles on our dials. Hellosquare label head Shoeb Ahmed is not to be missed, same goes with Sydney based Emily McDaniel and the ever so haunting Brother Gozu. And for all I care, subjectivity can eat a hamper of dicks; because Canberra’s best band KASHA are headlining. For only 500 cents, you’d be the mayor of asscamp not to go.

Kim Churchill

WHAT: A One Man Show
WHEN: Thu 18 March
WHERE: The Front Café & Gallery, Lyneham

At only 19 years of age, this lad has already played Woodford, the Byron Bay Bluesfest, supported Xavier Rudd, John Butler, and Ben Harper. On top of all that, he also performed his track “It’s This System” to over a million people via the Footy show. 19? At this rate, he’ll be president of the moon by April. Hell, I was lucky to have made spaghetti by 19. This guy needs to share what ever it he has around a bit more. Bastard. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer – so go see him play. If it helps, his weaknesses are knives and dying.

You

WHAT: Diaura Wellbeing & Spiritual Festival
WHEN: 20-21 Mar
WHERE: Queanbeyan Showgrounds

Let's face it, our beloved Queanbeyan is never going to rival Paris or London as one of the world's great cities. But hey Quangers folk, chill. Luckily for you, a gnarly wellbeing festival is happening at your showgrounds that you can relax at. Drop your kids off at their grandma’s house (if she’s not too busy studying for the HSC) and enjoy a delightful day in the sun. Exhibitors will be offering the latest products and services in health and wellbeing, fitness, eco-living, complimentary medicine, holistic therapies, spirituality & personal growth.

D'Opus & Roshambo

WHAT: Their new single ‘Come find out’
WHEN:  Right now
WHERE: www.triplejunearthed.com/DOpusRoshambo

Yoko Ono once said that if John Lennon was alive today, he would be Hip-Hop’s biggest fan. If we’re playing the hypothetical game, then I ‘imagine’ he would be quite fond of bullet proof vests too. Great, now all I’ve done is upset myself. Anyway, while some come ironic corpses may think happiness is a warm gun, I personally think that happiness is in fact Canberra’s best super rad rhyme dispensers – D’Opus and Roshambo! They’re disgustingly good, and have a shiny new track all up on the internet. The bass line made me sad inside because I know I’ll never be able to emulate it. Hope no one shoots them!

Excitement Time DJs

WHAT: Purple Sneakers
WHEN: Fri 12 Mar
WHERE: Transit Bar

According to my mother, a ‘DJ’ is someone who hosts a radio show. Well…that’s just plain cute. Ok, ok - teasing a French Canadian is not fair, I know (I might as well have asked a falcon to explain string theory in sign language to me), so let’s not be cruel here. The kind of DJ I’m referring to is the regular ‘Earth is not flat’ kind, and Transit have wrangled some up to spin their decks (er…pressing play on the CD player) for your pleasure. BenLucid, Kill The Landlord, Talihina Shan, Will Eat Brains, Fantomatique and Celebrity Sex Tape are playing. Go watch them press play!

The Justin Walshe Folk Machine

WHAT: Folk-Country extravaganza band
WHEN: Sat Feb 27
WHERE: The Phoenix

I’ve heard this guy is ‘folk for people who don’t like folk’. The methadone of the folk world? “C’mon man, just one more E chord, just ONE MORE MAN!” Get that lighter away from that spoon buddy, you’re gonna need it to play on your leg! I like folk, and after hearing a few tunes, I’ll happily announce that it’s also safe for our kind. Don’t be so quick to share a DJ’s needle with a crowd of yuppies; come see something more intimate at The Phoenix – Canberra’s best venue (hands down) for smaller acts. Go kiss some grits! Slap your hands until they get an AVO out against you.

Deep Sea Arcade

WHAT: Sydney’s favourite psychedelic sons
WHEN: Sat Feb 20
WHERE: The Front Gallery

Deep sea ‘video’ arcade? Or is it arcade, as in those shit shopping arcades in Manuka? They always tricked me as a kid. I strutted in, preparing myself to Hadouken Blanka’s face when all of a sudden I’m surrounded by mini jewellers and tailors. Back to video games – The Action bus hold music sounds like the cave levels in Donkey Kong Country. Go on, call up and cram their phone system to find out. Action has done pretty much everything they can to ass themselves up, so don’t feel bad. Anyway, go see The Deep Sea Arcade. Apparently they sound like The Kinks and/or The Zombies. That’s enough reason to go.

Gimmeh your things. And I a-gimmeh you mine

WHAT: Free things
WHEN: Internet O’clock
WHERE: www.yoink.com

The best things in life are free yeah? Like friendship, love, happiness, mobile phones, TVs and couches. Don’t you worry; grandma’s silly pills are dissolving in her stomach. What I’m talking about is Yoink, the nipple hardening website and iPhone app that allows people to give/receive unwanted goods for free! Just chuck your shit up, and bam before you know it some cheapskate is at your door to collect it. And if you’re that cheapskate, well then get on the information superhighway buddy! It ranks your generosity too, so the more you give away, the more your ranking will impress the babes. I’m going to put a live infant on it.

People doing wacky things on the street

WHAT: FLIP ART
WHEN: Fri Mar 12 – Sun Mar 14
WHERE: Around the City

So apparently in 2013 Canberra is turning 100. Frankly, I don’t give a shit. I’m sure there are hordes of wilted old people who think Werther’s Originals are currency too, but not me. In lieu of it all, some bright cookie has pampered to my generation by testing out some acts on our streets – getting the wheels turning so to say. You may find yourself in a few weeks witnessing STALKER fusing hip-hop with a five meter catapult (yeah what? I’m there). You may also catch Dislocate, Chrome, Zimboyz, Circus Monoxide and Erth (to mention a few) and other snazzy circus, aerial street and physical theatre! Horses can’t vomit.

You

WHAT: Indyfest 2010
WHEN: Sat March 6
WHERE: McGregor Hall, Acton

You’re going to go back to uni this year thinking ‘this is the year I’ll buckle down and focus’. Pfft, nice try Fake Gyllenhaal. Your ceramic Yoda head bong won’t get any cobwebs – that’s a certainty. Two weeks after it starts is when you’re first going to realise this, and what better way to celebrate than by heading down to the 20^th Indyfest. The venue is thrifty, and it’s a nice way to douse your ears in great local music such as Julia and the Deep Sea Sirens, Fun Machine, Rafe Morris and buckets more. In an unrelated fact, this is also Shaq’s birthday.

The Dead Weather

WHAT: Jack White’s new band
WHEN: Thur March 25
WHERE: ANU Bar

I have never heard this band, and I’m not going to pretend I have. Jack White is the drummer, and I won't attempt to feign any writer’s cred by omitting that fact. Hell, it’s about the only reason you’re going isn’t it? Or have even heard them in the first place. Maybe not, maybe you’re from opposite land (where sandwiches eat people) and don’t care about Mr. White and are just going for the music. Hahaha! Nice try you duded-up egg sucking gutter trash. So go, shell out your hamburger flipping money and buy a ticket. They’re probably good, right?

Voss - The Inland Sea [Independent]

It’s a proud feeling having a local band justifiably take out Album of the Week. Eager eyes awaited this first album after a slew of hypnotising gigs, and unlike your weekend dad - it doesn’t disappoint. Canberra has a great pulse of rusty folk streaming through its veins, one that’s mainly seen in older circles and can sometimes bypass us whippersnappers. Voss triumphantly sound both aged and youthful, pouring some frankly dazzling lyrics into streaks of narrative and crunchy, grubby guitars. It’s highly emotive in sections, without coming off feeling overly forced. The verses are often quite delicate, dusted with violin and some clever harmonies, with heavier sections that come and punch your face off. I’m a bit iffy with comparisons, but I guess they could sit aside The Drones, Magnolia Electric Co. and Dirty Three. For someone with a prosthetic hand, singman Owen Carroll does a tidy job with the words, breathing out spooky post-colonial anthems for the wandering madman. And daaamn, the packaging is tremendous; I would drink its bath water. You can get it from Landspeed or Smiths Bookshop in the city, and good news people – their MySpace says they’re single.

The 100th Big Day Out Olympic Park, Sydney, Sat Jan 23 2010

DJ Chuckie

WHAT: A truly righteous DJ
WHERE: Academy Nightclub
WHEN: Fri Feb 19

I’m totally gay for art. I also highly respect art appreciation - but sometimes it can go a little too far. Take the Matthew Harding art appreciation club for example. Daily meetings are held outside Devlin’s Chemist, on Harding’s work itself, in Garema Place. As myth goes, the club president actually stole System Of A Down’s album Steal This Album. Getting too involved so deeply is unhealthy, so I offer an antidote. There’s this gnarly DJ by the name of Chuckie playing around the corner. He’s fingered Lil’ Jon, David Guetta and Fatman Scoops’ pies, all with his excellent hip-hop influenced style. Go get a live taste of his forthcoming album!

Effigy Entertainment

WHAT: Kasey Taylor (PORTUGAL) & Phil K (MEL)
WHEN: Sat Feb 20
WHERE: Hippo bar

So that head launch thing E. Honda does – can he fly? I’m not sure if Effigy Entertainment can answer, but what I do know is that they’re back in 2010 and aren’t wasting time filling your face with gigs. Phil K (who can fly) co-headlines the event with Kasey Taylor. Phil’s got technical mastery coming out the wazoo, earning his place as one of the world’s top 10 DJs, while Kasey is celebrating his 25th year of spinning people right round, round round. Come to this up close and personal shindig (only 100 tix available) and hundred hand slap with the best of us. Have you tried doing it? It hurts.

You alongside an assortment of cultural goodies

WHAT: Mother Nature Festival
WHERE: Rose Cottage
WHEN: Sat Feb 20 – Sun Feb 21

Kurt Cobain once said “Mother Nature is a whore”. Dead wrong, champ. Maybe you were too busy shooting horse and gunning your face off to realise that Mother Nature is in fact the rad bitch that grew your opium poppies. I suggest putting a request for leave in, and see if they’ll let your ghost out of hell so you can come celebrate her instead of being a goof. The beautiful Rose Cottage is the venue, hosting a huuuge array of snazzy dance music, as well as various activities, workshops and the soon to be famous Sunday Pool Party. Come bask in the sun at this genius festival.

Dunhill Blues w/ Shoehorn and Daddy Yabbie

WHAT: Rock and or Roll
WHEN: Sat Feb 3
WHERE: Phoenix Pub

Everybody knows smoking is cool. It gets you babes, money and adds years to your life. Aside from smoking, the only thing that hypnotises the babes is dad puns. It was only a matter of time until someone combined these two aspects to create a wondrous band name, possibly mankind’s greatest invention (get bent penicillin). Welcome The Dunhill Blues, a sextuplet (hello ladies) from Sydney who have everyone blabbing. Imagine garage rockin’ rhythm and blues doused with your old pals keys, trumpet and sax. Well you stop that imagining! They’ll be playing tunes direct to your face for free at The Phoenix. Case solved.

The Ronnie Johns Good Times Campfire Jamboree Half Hour Show

WHAT: An awesome TV show in stage form
WHEN: Sun Feb 21
WHERE: Canberra Theatre Centre

Whenever I see a shooting star, I press my eyelids together and wish that anyone who publicly quotes the “Look at moi” line from Kath and Kim would be instantly water boarded. Not only is it a disgustingly overrated show, it takes away from good Australian comedy such as The Ronnie Johns Half Hour. If it was up to me, Heath Franklin’s Chopper impersonation would be mandatory viewing in kindergarten. And if religion makes you vomit blood, they do a delightfully blasphemous Jesus. That stuff’s always fun. But yes, the show has finally been transmogrified into stage form. Get your belly shakes on.

Voss

WHAT: An excellent local band, for free
WHEN: Sat Feb 6
WHERE: Phoenix pub

I love Canberra and Canberra’s music scene, really I do. There’s this unspoken rule (which I’m speaking about) that you have to pretend it’s all really grand and never say a bad word about it. It’s like being a parent I guess, and that said, some local gigs feel like you’re watching your child plough his bike face first into a gutter. As of recent though, your untalented kid has shed some pounds. New birds such as DD’Goose, Assassins 88 and Kasha (to name a few) are making things interesting, however Voss are the ones nobody will shut up about. Go see why.

Fred Smith & the Spooky Men’s Chorale

WHAT: Sea shanties girt by humour
WHEN: Fri Jan 29
WHERE: The Playhouse

The last time I attended the Folk Festival, I was rudely awoken one morning (after killing my body with alcohol) by a small boy in a fairy costume palming a sausage. Now, the last time Fred Smith attended the Folk Festival, he performed a triumphant gig to over 2,000 keen chaps alongside all 20 members of the Spooky Men’s Chorale - your dad’s knickers probably got thrown on stage. Imagine dying on a life raft - but it’s fun! Chuck some rock, swamp and innovative humour in there and you have a gig from Canberra’s favourite gentleman to attend.

Yo La Tengo - Popular Songs [Matador]

I like these guys for several reasons. Firstly, Ira Kaplan looks like a pre-pokevolved Kramer, or maybe Ray Romano if his mother boozed while pregnant. His scrunched up face is a treat to see live, especially framed by his electrified curls. Second, they're consistently good and don't waste time releasing albums. With 12 studio albums alongside a generous slew of EP's; there's a tonne of material for the keen to sift through. Popular Songs again shows off their ability to pen great pop tunes. Here to Fall being one of my favourite tracks of the year, is layered with strings, romantic lyrics and motown influence. While the first half is relaxed, the second half powers with crunchy guitars. Avalon or Someone Very Similar glows with vague optimism - a song to get you humming. The last three tracks are an epic trilogy (typical Yo La Tengo), with More Stars Than There Are In Heaven standing out, with repeating lyrics "We'll walk hand in hand" providing a sweetly haunted feel. A treat for fans indeed, and I for one am glad they haven't gone ass-up after all this time like so many of their peers. Buy it you clowns.

Tame Impala / Jonathan Boulet / The Laurels

After sprays of vomit fell from my gullet onto some garden enthusiast's pride and joy the other night, a smile crept through my trembling lips. No, I'm not some sick jerk who gets his kicks from vomiting; I was viewing it as a sign of a grand night out.

I'll rewind slightly, back to my early arrival to the ANU Bar.

The usual crowd of androgynous socialites pranced around. It's the types you know so well - big-haired, faux-bearded, scarfed folk who resemble Frankenstein's monster stitched from French cartoon character Madeline and a laid-off wharfy.

Through this crowd, it's clear to see Tame Impala are doing something right. The doors never quite ceased the flow of people entering, leaving the venue at a healthy capacity towards the end of the night. Being the darlings of triple j must have helped boost tickets, as did their ability to get famous by covering already successful songs. It all seems so simple.

Some stain at the ANU decided to rid the bar of its arcade machines a little while ago. Normally, games would mean that you had something to do other then drink and be horrendously bored before a gig. The ANU Bar rivals a giant beige wall in lack of excitement these days. On the plus side, I guess, this meant the crowd were so bored that enthusiasm was quite high for first supports The Laurels. Proud gazers of shoes from big city Sydney.

When I was younger my friends and I used to turn the wigs around on the mannequins at David Jones (something I highly recommend doing). Take that backwards hair look, add a guitar and hey presto - you have the singer from The Laurels. Squeaky guitars and songs peppered with My Bloody Valentine influence had me more than interested. Huzzah, they're good! I climbed further though the crowd to gain a closer look, only to come face to face with the lanky bass player swaying to and fro; I was startled. This was my best friend Conor from 15 years ago, one who I'd all but lost contact with. This band surprises its audience with the 'memory lane' angle. I like that.

Memory beers soon followed across the table from one another. Hurtled though time, I found he'd lost his stutter, puppy fat and baby teeth. His tour with Tame Impala had been quite full on, mainly due to their sudden popularity. Apparently they're full on, apathetic and like to inhale copious amounts of cannabis smoke. Captain Obvious charges into another battle.

Back inside, watching the first few tracks from the next lot, Jonathan Boulet, was interesting. Firstly, they weren't any good. Not bad, but no different then the other ten million Belle and Sebastian wannabe bands our country is plagued with. Their lyrics closely resemble the 'things my grandmother likes' list (tea, owls, clouds etc) and are in abhorrent need to shred a guitar solo or two. Some nice harmonies, but nothing your weekend dad's cover band can't pull off at the RSL open mic night. Just as embarrassing too, might I add. No stars.

On stage, a keyboard scratched out a kitsch demo track whilst the headliners slumped on stage. Stomach thoroughly drenched, I was excited when they ripped into their set hard and heavy. I took great pleasure in chuckling to myself on their appearance, that of medieval B-grade movie extras with rusty fringes and frizz that glowed in the purple stage lights. Don't get me wrong, it's welcomed with their breed of psychedelic rock. Their nervous set at Meredith Festival last December seems that of a different band, as now they've lost that shake and are nothing but confidence. Honestly, remarkable for whippersnappers this young.

The elephant in the room with these guys is Cream - they sound pretty fucking close to them. Influence is one thing, but for me this goes a little too far. Chuck Jefferson Airplane somewhere in there too. The jams are amazing, but it still all blends into one beast after not too long. Plus I wouldn't mind some vocals that didn't always sound like a deaf guy singing happy birthday in slow motion.

Later throughout the jams, and with one eye drunkenly squinted to reclaim the little depth perception I had left, Tame Impala burst into apparent single Half Full Glass of Wine. Knowing the stories, personally I think the name Half Full Bottle of Water with a Severed Garden Hose Jammed in the Side would have suited them much better. But so be it.

The end was quite good; lots of powerful drums and me smoking outside. The crowd seemed to like it, I'll just go on that. Honestly I would have liked to have seen something original, but for those who dig this style of retro revival rock, yeah, go nuts.

The night ended with me drinking far too much (more) beer at BMA HQ, hurling opinions at anyone in a stumble's reach. I was told from a few others there who saw the gig that it was rad, so yeah I'll take that on board. Alternative review - "rad." There you go, two options to choose from kiddo.

In conclusion, Tame Impala are a re-hash, but a good one at least. Full of youngster energy, yeah, but if you're going to do a re-hash do the Grateful Dead at least, or maybe listen to the first band for inspiration. 32 stars.

The Brunettes

Jonathan Bree, lead singer of adorable New Zealand pop group THE BRUNETTES, is a very humble man, which is quite refreshing to see considering his band seems to be skyrocketing in popularity. "We like the 'duet' style our band has," Bree explains. "There's only the two principle members - myself and Heather Mansfield - so it makes things easy. We like it simple."

Forming in New Zealand a little over ten years ago, The Brunettes' hard work is finally paying off. The Shins took notice of the group and invited them to support their 2005 American tour; one that led them to headline their own, plus score a spot on Sub Pop Records. Not bad, eh?

"It's fun to open for people," says Bree. "It's their night, so you have to make a strong impression in your 25 minutes. We especially like the southern states like Mississippi where the kids really party because they're not spoilt with bands like New York."

Bree seems amused when I ask him if he has any memories from their last Canberra gig. "Ha... yeah. It was in a dance club or something, yeah?" Bree asks. Bar 32 to be precise. "There wasn't a stage, which was really weird. Also a bunch of girls had this choreographed dance for our song B.A.B.Y. It was flattering, but weird," he chuckles. I was there and informed him that his live band was impressively huge and took up most of the space in the annoyingly small 'hallway' that is Bar 32.

"Yeah, we play with a bigger band in Australasia," he says. "We got to 12 members at one point, but these days we stick to between five and seven. Also we can't take too many overseas for cost reasons, which is a shame. It's better with a big band because it doesn't matter if no one shows up, it still looks packed. An illusion!"

Bree is eager to get the band's new album Paper Dolls out at the end of this month. "I finished recording it ten months ago, I just want it released!" he says. I can imagine, especially since Paper Dolls shows a definite improvement on Bree and Mansfield's songwriting abilities. The Brunettes' previous album Structure and Cosmetics was their first big US release; the album that they knew everyone would be watching. "The new album is a lot more fun and relaxed now that we're past that point," he says. "We've got a Japanese label now, so we're keen to play some shows over there. We've also been invited to play some gigs in Beijing which is going to be amazing."

It's clear talking to him that he's a workaholic and that's what's keeping him going. When asked if this cute band has any TV-out-the-window rock star stories, he replies with "um... yeah, but nothing that I want printed, okay?" Don't want to ruin his twee image, huh. Fair enough.

The Brunettes will play a show at the Front Gallery and Café on Saturday October 17.

Julian Plenti - Is...Skyscraper

...Is the Interpol guy. That's Paul Banks to be exact - I'm not sure where this Julian Plenti hodgepodge came from but it comes with certain expectations. I guess I sort of like Interpol, but his voice gets a bit too 'angry dad yelling at his spoilt children' for me. I always thought he needed to relax a bit - and that's exactly what he does on this. Minimal guitar lines and repetitive yet pleasant vocals are at the soul of it, allowing the listener to respect him a little more as a songwriter. The title track is a great example of his ability to tantalise with subtlety, as is Unwind - a somewhat poppy jingle that grows with a few more spins. It's a little hollow in some areas though, but maybe that's your thing. I don't pretend to understand Interpol fans.

The Flaming Lips / Midnight Juggernauts

Happy tears were delivered to the faces of many after it was announced that The Flaming Lips would return to our shores to headline this year's Splendour in the Grass. Hypothetical shock-waves from their triumphant 2004 tour remained dear in the hearts of many, and word about their monstrous live show spread faster than cold sores on a streetwalker's sinful face. You hopefully know the drill - animal suits, jovial old men in giant transparent bubbles, confetti coming out the wazoo. Simply, they know how to impress. Often described as the best children's party ever, the tickets to the show flew out the door quicker then Diana's body from a crumpled Mercedes, and rightfully so.

As the light grew after Midnight Juggernauts' hardly worthy of mention set, the abundance of glorious freaks became apparent. Colourful face paint and feather-a-plenty donned the heads of most. In my opinion, a great crowd is one that makes an effort. By my side in the crowd was a bearded man in a floral dress, delightfully stirring his beer with his long blue nails; a totally acceptable getup in this setting. In any other occasion I would get away from him as soon as possible. Possibly the police would be involved.

Eagerness shuffled the greedy crowd forward in anticipation as frontman Wayne Coyne came on stage to play the part of roadie. On one hand, it's a little disenchanting when the band prance around connecting speakers and what-not in full light. On the other hand though, Wayne Coyne is in control; he does what he wants, when he wants. That's what makes this band great. Hell, he could roger the Queen all night long in a Nazi uniform for all I care.

With the drop of the house lights, a 20 foot LCD screen behind the stage came to life. Crowd roars joined the psychedelic patterns pulsating to and fro around the image of a naked lady on screen. The band are then 'born' onstage via the lady's gigantic vagina (of course) through a tiny door that pops out from the centre of the screen. Cheers erupt for guitar-smith Steve (who, in contrary to my prediction, was not shooting up A-grade horse upon his entry), followed by bald bassist Michael. Wayne then comes tumbling from the side of the stage in his trademark rubber ball, gleefully crushing the heads and hands of the screaming pedestrians below.

After some epileptic lights alongside two intro-specific songs, they break into Race For the Prize from 1999's gorgeous Soft Bulletin. Confetti erupts like vomit from cannons everywhere and giant balloons rain from the heavens above. God's pill must have kicked in. The setlist strongly favoured the last ten or so years of their catalogue, but still the mix was gracefully rationed. Three songs in and after a 'George Bush sucks, yay Obama' intro (which is the hip thing to do these days) we're treated to 'the Yeah Yeah Yeah song' off 2006's ho-hum At War With The Mystics. Whilst bland and repetitive on the album, this song really shows its tits live. Constant fist pumps into the air and subsequent beer spills on the blue nailed freak to my side made this a memorable moment.

The onstage shenanigans were genius, going well beyond my already bloated expectations. Among the dancers were a team of lizards, some mice, a giant huggable sun, a giant caterpillar, a gorilla and some sexy pandas that questioned my inter-species sexuality. There was a giant Easter Island head thing, except a lot scarier. He frightened me a little. Wayne was popping nearby balloons with his guitar neck throughout the gig; a popular move with the kids. Fan favourites Fight Test and Yoshimi Pt. 1 (both title tracks off two early decade releases) sent the crowd into a fury, but not as much as 1992 classic She Don't Use Jelly, a heroic sing-along in which the joy was plentiful. To conclude Jelly, Wayne filled an enormous tangerine balloon with an air gun until it burst and rained confetti. This was made all that much better knowing that Splendour didn't get it.

Before the lights dimmed one last time, we were invited to a very sweet and equally successful marriage proposal by some love-struck fool in a lizard costume. A true campus hero! Following the lovebirds was the band's return to the stage, with Wayne delivering one last positive speech (there were many throughout the night). The opening chords of Do You Realise?? burst through the speakers to deafening applause; confetti yet again rained down upon us happy fools for the last time, totalling the amount to ten trillion individual pieces. Looking at the mess everywhere, I almost felt sorry for the cleanup crew. Should have studied harder if you didn't want to be a janitor buddy!

In closing, you wish Wayne Coyne was your dad (instead of that embarrassment that will fall into your wedding cake). Thank God (or Satan?) there's still live bands like this out there today, beaming warmth and forcing smiles on even the grumpiest folk. Once again, The Flaming Lips echo will cascade through Australia and the myth will grow. Hopefully it won't be too long before I'm jumping for balloons and picking confetti out of my hair again. If you didn't go, take my word and save your clams for their next Australian adventure. If not, you're a damned fool.