Tracy Heffernan

Blackbox

Blackbox - Three out of four new comedies on the telly get the Blackbox stamp of approval.

TV comedies, like good drama, need really good writing and at least one cast member with exceptional skills. Comedy, though, also needs the ability to hook you in from the very beginning. Audiences will forgive a lumbering drama, conceding that a complex backstory needs to be put in place. But when it comes to comedy, if it doesn’t make you laugh by the first ad break, you ain’t going back. Ever. Fortunately New Girl (SCTEN, Sun, 8pm) had Chez Blackbox in stitches by the time the opening credits started. Zooey Deschanel stars as Jess, the geeky flatmate of three guys. The schmaltzy moments are still funny and Chez Blackbox has already adopted the douchebag jar. The only thing SCTEN could do to improve its Sunday lineup is drop the irritating cross promos from The Project people.

Outland (ABC1, Wed Feb 8, 9.30pm) looks promising in an absurd kind of way. The John Richards penned comedy (with Adam Richard co-writing the first three episodes) about a gay science fiction fan club is a comical farce in the great British-Australian tradition of over-exaggeration.

Coincidentally one of the best British examples from the late ‘80s returns this fortnight – Absolutely Fabulous 20^th Anniversary Specials (ABC1, Wed Feb 8, 8pm) revisits Eddy and Pats over two weeks, for a few bolly stolly cocktails. If you haven’t seen the original, get thee to the DVD store now.

Also back from the dead is Minder (ABC1, Sat Feb 11, 6.10pm). Britain may have moved on but the dodgy businessman from the East End is a stereotype that’s hard to shake.

Chez Blackbox knows that with all your fave series returning you only have room for a couple of new shows. Don’t waste it on Suburgatory (Go!, Sun Feb 5, 8.30pm) – a fish out of water comedy about a NYC teenager who moves to the burbs. Desperate Housewives (Prime, Thu, 8.30pm) and Weeds (GEM, TBC) have already done cartoon suburban pastiche.

Series returns include House (SCTEN, Sun Feb 5, 9.35pm), Talkin’ ‘bout Your Generation (SCTEN, Wed Feb 8, 8pm), Glee (SCTEN, Fri, 7pm), An Idiot Abroad: Bucket List (SCTEN, Sat Feb 4, 7.30pm), CSI (WIN, Thu Feb 2, 9pm), Adam Hills in Gordon St (ABC1, Wed Feb 8, 8.30pm), Dexter (SCTEN, Tue, 9.30pm), The Office (SCTEN, Tue, 9pm), How I Met Your Mother (Prime, Mon, 9.40pm), The Tudors (ABC2, Mon Feb 13, 9.30pm) and Damages (WIN, Tue Jan 31, 1am).

Docos to check out include the four part Putin, Russia and The West (SBS1, Wed Feb 1, 9.30pm) which looks at the world’s favourite action hero, Dancing with Dictators (ABC2, Sun Feb 12, 10pm) about Burma’s only media company, Singapore 1942 – End of Empire (SBS1, Fri Feb 10, 8.30pm), the four part History of Celtic Britain (SBS1, Sun Feb 5, 7.30pm) with the incredibly intense Neil Oliver who could probably look at joining the cast of Minder if archaeology doesn’t work out.

Movies on offer include Star Trek (2009) (SCTEN, Wed Feb 8, 9.30pm), The Sound of Music (Fri Feb 10, 8pm), The Towering Inferno (GEM, Sat Feb 4, 4.10pm), When Harry Met Sally (GEM, Sun Feb 5, 8.30pm) and Dracula Prince of Darkness (GEM, Mon Feb 6, 1.50am).

Chez Blackbox has joined the twitterverse. Look out.

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com
Twitter: @ChezBlackbox

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Chez Blackbox is simply giddy with excitement at the prospect of the new ratings season. Not since the original Underbelly series (which brought the trash whore lingo of Roberta Williams into the lexicon) has there been this much excitement at new free-to-air TV series. And this year there are two – one from Showtime, one from Auntie – offering very different takes on crime.

Homeland (SCTEN, Sun Jan 22, 8.30pm) is the latest slickly produced drama from Showtime. From the folks behind 24 with a stellar cast including Claire Danes and everybody’s favourite almost-bad-guy Damien Lewis, the political-come-espionage thriller has a lot to live up to. And it does. Danes’ portrayal of a paranoid and slightly mentally unhinged CIA agent is compelling – perhaps honed from all those years with Ben Lee. And Lewis puts in another Emmy-worthy turn as a US soldier held captive by terrorists for eight years, a man returned as a hero but who Danes suspects is a sleeper. It sounds like an obvious plot but it's executed with an incredible attention to detail, slick dialogue, and compelling performances. Should be water cooler worthy for fans of good drama.

Once you get past the title sequence, which is a straight rip off of the True Blood credits, The Straits (ABC1, Thu Feb 2, 8.30pm) is the best totally fictional crime series Australia has seen for an eternity. The story of a crime family running drugs and guns through the Torres Straits, using their own island connections, has the right mix of drama, violence and humour to hold even the most jaded TV addict’s attention. With an opening sequence that involves a drug deal gone wrong with Papuan tribesmen, automatic gunfire, and a spear through the face, it is refreshing that the series isn’t trying to highlight indigenous injustice but rather entertain through the prism of islander culture. And the humour? Tripped out drug dealers seeing the iconic kangaroo warning signs as a hitch-hiker, brothers who blow up a meth lab with a mobile phone, and an Indian dentist found floating in a large esky. And that’s just for starters.

DO NOT MISS The Wild Ones: Cane Toads – The Conquest (ABC1, Tue Jan 31, 8.30pm) the follow up to the best doco ever – 1988’s Cane Toads – An Unnatural History. You have been warned.

Other new offerings to look out for in the next couple of weeks include News Exchange (ABC News24, Fri Feb 3, 8pm) a web focussed news program that also looks at social media; Jamie Cooks Summer (SCTEN, Fri Jan 20, 7.30pm) with, presumably, a book from Mr Oliver to follow; and the Zooey Deschanel vehicle New Girl (SCTEN, Sun Jan 22, 8pm).

There’s also new series (or at least episodes) of CSI: NY (WIN, Thu Jan 26, 9.30pm), The Graham Norton Show (SCTEN, Sat Jan 21, 8.50pm), Dexter (Eleven, Tue Jan 24, 9.30pm) and The Big Bang Theory (WIN, Mon Jan 23, 7.30pm).

Auntie’s love is being spread around with Sea Change (7TWO, Fri Jan 20, 7.30pm) being shown from the beginning.

Docos to check out include Persecution Blues (ABC2, Wed Jan 25, 8.30pm) a homage to legendary Melbourne venue The Tote, Autoluminescent: Rowland S. Howard (ABC2, Wed Jan 25, 9.30pm) about the Melbourne punk scene, Nick Cave: Triple J’s Tribute (ABC2, Thu Jan 26, 9.30pm), Oz and Hugh Raise the Bar (SBS1, Thu Jan 26, 8:30pm) following Hugh Dennis and wine expert Oz Clarke as they collect the best of British drinks for their British pub (a must for home brewers), Video Killed the Radio Star (ABC2, Sun Jan 22, 7pm) which charts the rise of the music video through the eyes of the producers and artists that made them happen, From Sydney to Tokyo By Any Means (SBS1, Wed Feb 1, 8.30pm) and the best Lewis Black’s Root of All Evil so far – Donald Trump vs Viagra (ABC2, Thu Jan 31, 10.25pm).

True romantics (or those with an eye for a Parisian romance) should be sure to catch Sex and the City – An American Girl in Paris (Eleven, Fri Jan 27, 9.40pm).

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The sweet smell of summer is in the air – fresh cut grass, drinks that should, ideally, have little umbrellas in them, the cricket on the box, DVD box sets of Sons of Anarchy, True Blood, Game of Thrones and X-Files under the tree (hint, hint Santa) and the last issue of BMA for 2011. The smart networks have started their 2012 hype early, perhaps realising BMA folk will be out hitting what’s left of the festival circuit, catching some rays and sipping the aforementioned cocktails with accoutrement instead of chained to a typewriter in the Gorman House basement.

And the winner for most appealing 2012 line-up so far is good ol’ Auntie. At least one inhabitant of Chez Blackbox is wetting her pants in anticipation of a new season of Rake in 2012! Auntie’s also serving up Josh Thomas in Please Like Me, Outland – about a gay sci-fi fanclub, crime drama The Straits, Planet America – a look at the US election, Myf Warhurst’s pop cultural journey in Nice, Annabel Crabb talking food with the pollies in Kitchen Cabinet, the Ab Fab anniversary specials, Shaun Micallef is Mad as Hell and new seasons of Lowdown and Laid. Elsewhere Nine has the London Olympics, a Hamish and Andy show in the leadup to the Olympics, a resurrected Big Brother and three miniseries – Howzat: The Kerry Packer Story, Beaconsfield and The Great Mint Swindle. Seven serves up new projects from the Kath and Kim crew and Working Dog and Good Christian Bitches from the makers of Sex and the City. Over at Channel 10 there’s new Puberty Blues, Bikie Wars: Brothers in Arms – an Underbelly-style drama about the Milperra Massacre, Showtime thriller Homeland, Fox sitcom New Girl, and Robert de Niro’s cop show The 2-2.

There’s also a feast of sci-fi for serious hermits including two Terry Pratchett series – Going Postal (ABC1, Sat Dec 17, 7.30pm), Dr Who At The Proms 2010 (ABC1, Sat Dec 24, 11.30pm), Dr Who: The Next Doctor (ABC1, Sat Dec 17, 10.45pm), and Star Trek Voyager (11, Sat Dec 10, 9.30pm).

Amongst the next month’s movies are a raft of ‘80s comic treats. If you look past the poor production values and excruciating ‘80s fashion, you’ll find a few gems like Teen Wolf (Go!, Sun Dec 18, 9.30pm), Spaceballs (Go!, Mon Dec 19, 9.30pm), and Caddyshack (Go!, Thu Dec 22, 9.30pm).

SANTA WATCH: The Graham Norton Show: Christmas Special (ABC2, Sat Dec 24, 10pm), Peep Show: Seasonal Beating (ABC2, Sat Dec 24, 11pm), The Vicar of Dibley (Prime, Sun Dec 11, 7pm), Happy Days (11, Sun Dec 25, 1.30am), The Flintstones (Go!, Sat Dec 24, 7.30am), Bewitched (Go!, Sat Dec 24, 1.30pm), Just Shoot Me (Go!, Sat Dec 24, 2.30pm), Top Gear Middle East Special (Go!, Sat Dec 24, 6.30pm), South Park (Go!, Sat Dec 25, 12.20am), Little Britain (WIN, Sat Dec 24, 11pm), The Smurfs – A Christmas Carol (Prime, Sat Dec 17, 8pm), SOS: Santa: The Fascist Years (SBS1, Sun Dec 25, 12.40am), Rockwiz (SBS1, Sat Dec 24, 9.30pm), The Legends of Santa (SBS1, Sat Dec 24, 5.30pm) and for the traditionalists Carols from St Andrews (ABC1, Sat Dec 24, 6pm) and It’s a Wonderful Life (ABC2, Sat Dec 24, 1pm).

It’s time to mix a margarita (sans umbrella), whack Do They Know It’s Christmas on the turntable and put up the tree. Merry Christmas to all…

TRACY HEFFERNAN

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

There’s a raft of musical history treats this fortnight including Queen: Days of Our Lives (ABC2, Wed Nov 30, 9.30pm). The two parter charts the band’s history, Australian Story style, including their infamous spats with the NME and The Sex Pistols, quite a few old interviews with Freddie Mercury and unseen early gig footage. It’s nothing fans of the band wouldn’t know but it is a great study on how four very different, strong minded and talented musicians continued to work together for four decades. Oh and a good lesson on overdubbing and why the porn star ‘tache should come off after Movember.

Same era, different result – The Agony & Ecstasy of Phil Spector (ABC2, Sun Nov 27, 8.30pm) is from an interview given during his first trial where he talks about his life and work, including his friendship with John Lennon.

Elsewhere, triple j Presents Sparkadia (ABC2, Tue Nov 29, 10.25pm), and a new series of Rockwiz (SBS1, Sat, 9.30pm) continues.

Other docos to check out include Running to America (ABC1, Thu Dec 1, 8.30pm) about four indigenous men trained by Canberra’s own Robert de Castella to run the NY marathon, Artscape: Ben Quilty and the Maggots (ABC1, Tue Nov 29, 10pm) which repeats the brilliant doco about the artist, Spellbound (ABC2, Sun Dec 11, 8.30pm) – behind the scenes at America’s National Spelling Bee, Trapped in an Elevator (SBS1, Thu Nov 29, 7.30pm) which tells the history of elevators, interspersed by the story of someone who got stuck in one for 41 hours, and Scarlet Road: A sex worker’s journey (SBS1, Fri Dec 2, 10.05pm) which looks at the work of sex worker Rachel Wotton who works with people with disabilities.

The less glitzy of the award shows, the 2011 Walkley Awards (SBS1, Sun Nov 27, 10.15pm) for journalism round up the year and so you don’t fall asleep, The Chaser (sorry, Hamster Wheel) boys will appear.

Summer programming has arrived. But don’t panic, there are a few gems including Green Wing (ABC2, Tue Nov 29, 9.30pm) – a hospital-based, soapie style comedy from the makers of Smack the Pony, two The Thick of it Christmas Specials (ABC1, Wed Nov 30 and Wed Dec 7, 9pm), and Lewis Black’s Root of all Evil (ABC2, Tue Dec 6, 10.25pm) which pits two comedians against each other to make the case for which pop cultural icon or pursuit is worse including Paris Hilton vs Dick Cheney, and weed vs beer.

Movies to check out include restored cult classic Dogs in Space (ABC2, Fri Dec 9, 9.30pm) in its first airing in 20 years starring Michael Hutchence and set in a group house at the centre of Melbourne’s ‘70s punk scene, Here I Am (ABC1, Thu Dec 8, 8.30pm) – the award-winning debut from Beck Cole shot in Port Adelaide, Brideshead Revisited (ABC1, Sun Nov 27, 8.30pm), Steve Martin classic The Jerk (ABC2, Sat Nov 26, 8.40pm), American History X (Go, Sat Dec 3, 10.50pm) and Poltergeist (WIN, Sun Dec 4, 1.50am).

SANTA WATCH: Better Homes and Gardens Christmas at Dr Harry’s Farm (Prime, Fri Nov 25, 7.30pm), Mythbusters: Christmas Lights (7Mate, Tue Nov 22, 7.30pm), and Six Million Dollar Man: A bionic Christmas carol (7Mate, Wed Nov 23, 6.30am).

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

This month marks a sad day in Australian television history – Spicks and Specks (ABC1, Wed Nov 23, 8.30pm) airs its finale. The upstart music quiz show that should have been a cult hit got so popular its host earned two gold Logie nominations and his own tonight show. It turned a music savant into a household name and made a triple j contributor so famous she only needed one name, like Madonna. Each moment has been played out in our living rooms – from the agony of Myf’s Nirvana blunder to the joy on Hamish Blake’s face when he finally got a question right (exactly how a radio personality can know nothing about music is in itself bizarre). Who will be able to forget a breathless Dave O’Neil on a stationary pushbike in Malvern Stars on 45, the world’s most boring text, Measurement in Australia sung to the tune of Born to be Wild by Shaun Micallef or BMA’s own Justin Heazlewood (aka The Bedroom Philosopher) performing Musical Clearance Sale. Adam, Alan and Myf, we salute you – hard to believe it’s only been seven years. Of course, there’s one option left – Spicks and Specktacular hits town for shows at The Royal Theatre from Saturday-Monday December 10-12.

Some of the retro TV fare currently gracing our screens hasn’t stood up well but well-written classic British comedy even from as far back as the ‘70s is still as witty in 2011. The latest series to join the retro revolution is Yes Minister (GEM, Sun and Wed, 8pm). While more modern political comedies such as The Thick of It and The Hollowmen may cut closer to the bone, public servants about town will no doubt be aware of Sir Humphreys in their midst.

How do you know summer TV is on its way? All the networks’ big budget shows are winding up. Underbelly Razor (WIN, Sun, 8.30pm), Rush (SCTEN, Thu Nov 17, 8.30pm) and Crownies (ABC1, Thu Dec 1, 9.30pm) have either just finished (time to watch on the catch up sites) or will soon.

Don’t miss new series The Hour (ABC1, Mon Nov 21, 8.30pm) – a thriller set at the BBC in ‘50s Britain and telemovie The Night Watch (ABC1, Sun Nov 20, 8.30pm) based on a Sarah Walters novel about four young Londoners in 1940s wartime Britain.

If you’re looking for a movie offering, check out Meryl Streep’s unconvincing Aussie accent in Evil Angels (GEM, Wed Nov 9, 9.30pm), Robert Carlyle doing comedy with his kit off in The Full Monty (SCTEN, Fri Nov 18, 9.30pm), Arnie and Jamie Lee Curtis doing comedy in True Lies (SCTEN, Sat Nov 19, 8.55pm), the 1950s reimagined ‘80s style in Back to the Future (SCTEN, Sat Nov 19, 6.30pm), Bond flick The Living Daylights (7Mate, Sun Nov 13, 8.30pm), Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen in Red Dawn (7Mate, Fri Nov 18, 12pm), Eric Bana’s nerd outing in Star Trek (SCTEN, Fri Nov 11, 9.30pm), X-Men: The Last Stand (SCTEN, Sat Nov 12, 9pm) and Clint Eastwood in Hang ‘Em High (7Mate, Wed Nov 16, 12pm).

For Ausmusic Month, rage has a collection of Aussie acts guest programming including Boy & Bear (ABC1, Sat Nov 5, 12.15am), Horrorshow (ABC1, Sat Nov 12, 11.25am), The Jezabels (ABC1, Sat Nov 19, 11.25pm) and Bag Raiders (ABC1, Sat Nov 26, 12.10am).

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

OMG. Could the producers of the Australian version of Celebrity Apprentice (WIN, Mon-Fri, 7pm) have chosen a more embarrassing collection of pseudo celebrities? Let’s just hope this disaster waiting to happen never sees the light of day on foreign shores. At the very least someone should pass a law that Pauline Hanson is never allowed to appear on TV again. You could also add Warwick Capper (who should never be described with terms like ‘‘80s icon’) and ‘celebrity agent’ Max Markson (who doesn’t deserve that title if he advises his clients to be involved in this claptrap).

On the back of shows like The Gruen Transfer and Gruen Planet (ABC1, Wed, 9pm) that use the sausage-making in advertising and PR as a comedy vehicle, film and telly have been given the same treatment in The Bazura Project (ABC1, Thu, 9pm) and The Joy of Sets (WIN, Tue, 9pm). And while Bazura is less wooden and more entertaining than the Tony Martin/Myles Barlow effort, they have limited themselves to a series of cheap gags without the insight of Gruen. Blackbox is a huge fan of Martin and a devotee of Working Dog’s champagne comedy and really really wanted to love it but so far Joy of Sets is more sparkling Chardy.

Yes, there is some good news in TV land and it starts with Haven (ABC2, Mon Nov 7, 8.30pm), a new supernatural series set in Maine, complete with an FBI investigator. Based on a Steven King novella, it’s essentially The X-Files in one place without the government conspiracy.

Add to that American Horror Story (11, Tue Nov 1, 9.30pm) and you’ve got a decent suspense/mystery line-up at last. It’s been a while since we’ve seen a suspense/horror series that was more about the story and the fright than the pin-up quality of its cast, but American Horror Story with the inimitable Jessica Lange does this well. Also watch out for Psychoville Halloween Special (ABC2, Mon Oct 31, 10.15pm) to put you in the mood.

Not to be missed docos include Sunday Best: Out of the Ashes (ABC2, Sun Nov 6, 8.30pm) which follows the Afghan cricket team, Happy Hookers (SBS1, Fri Nov 4, 10pm) which looks at young women in London turning to escort work to fund their lavish lifestyles, Sunday Best: Born into Brothels (ABC2, Sun Oct 30, 8.30pm) which looks at children who grow up in India’s red light districts while the mothers work in the sex industry.

The 7pm Project has changed name to The Project (SCTEN, Mon-Fri, 6.30pm) and will stretch out to an hour taking over the George Negus spot.

If you’re looking for a movie escape there’s Bond classics Moonraker (7Mate, Sun Oct 30, 8.30pm) and For Your Eyes Only (7Mate, Sat Nov 5, 8.30pm), early ‘90s spy comedy Sneakers (Prime, Sun Oct 30, 2pm), Borat (11, Sun Oct 30, 9pm) and Stanley Kubrick’s The Killing (ABC2, Sat Nov 5, 8.30pm).

It’s about to become even easier to catch up with your fave shows from Auntie, as long as you’ve got an X-box. Auntie’s catchup site will arrive on the X-box platform over summer.

A musical interlude comes from triple j Presents Drapht (ABC2, Tue Nov 8, 10.15pm).

Christmas has arrived at pretty much every Canberra shopping destination and that means time to start Blackbox’s annual Santa Watch. This year 30 Rock (Prime, Mon Oct 31, 11.30pm) kicks off our countdown (probably by accident rather than design) with an ep entitled Secret Santa followed by Die Hard 2 (SCTEN, Sat Nov 5, 9.05pm). BTW: the Android app says 61 days to go.

TRACY HEFFERNAN

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

Chez Blackbox is extremely excited about Auntie’s latest doco series, Wide Open Road (ABC1, Sun, 8.30pm) which looks at Australia’s love affair with the car, from the family cars of the ‘50s and ‘60s through to the golden era of ‘70s muscle cars, the fuel crisis, suburban car culture and the  environmental future. Hot on the heels of Blackbox’s fave sporting event of the year, the Bathurst 1000 and referencing Australia’s best-ever driving song, The Triffids’ Wide Open Road, what’s not to love?

Handmade enthusiasts and artisans will love the BBC ob doco Mastercrafts (ABC1, Thu, 6pm). Each episode takes three creative types and starts to train them in a number of artisan crafts including heirloom weaving.

Docos to check out include All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace (SBS1, Tue Oct 18, 8.30pm).

Finally – new episodes of Big Bang Theory (WIN, Mon, 7.30pm).

Other new and returning shows include Keeping Up With The Joneses (GEM, Thu Oct 22, 8.30pm), last year’s ob doco following a family in the outback, Bored to Death (ABC1, Fri, 10.05pm), from the team behind Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Destiny of Rome (SBS1, Sun Oct 23, 7.30pm), a two part mini-series bringing to life the passions, loves and politics of the Roman Empire, Housos (SBS1, Mon Oct 24, 10pm) a comedy set in the Sunnyvale housing estate from the crew behind Pizza, Kill Arman (SBS1, Mon Oct 24, 8.30pm) an ob doco following a martial arts novice as he trains in a series of different martial arts.

If you’re looking for movies on the box, check out the Cohen Brothers’ classic The Big Lebowski (GEM, Sat Oct 15, 10.30pm), and A Fish Called Wanda (GEM, Sun Oct 16, 9pm), with a Python laden cast and sensibilities.

Those with a talent not covered by shows about singing, cooking or being a geek should head to Sydney Showground on Friday October 21 and Saturday October 22 for Australia’s Got Talent auditions.

Blackbox celebrates its 250th issue this fortnight. Thanks to all those loyal readers who have shared a passion for square-eyed fervor, addiction to late night local advertising, and most of all an appreciation for the quirkier side of the programming schedule over the past decade. So break open the Cheezels and beer (or tea and iced vovos) and join Chez Blackbox in toasting the next decade.

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

Blackbox has been enjoying the televisual delights of Turkey over the past few weeks which pretty much consist of Turkish versions of English game and reality shows, and low budget over-acted soap operas. Picking up three years after the film, This is England-1986 (SBS1, Mon, 10pm) continues its portrayal of life growing up working class in Thatcher’s Britain. The movie and the show are based on British filmmaker Shane Meadows’ own upbringing and paint a grim picture of alienation that was a feature of the time.

One would have thought we might have dropped the term ‘fast tracking’ by now as all US series (apart from anything really good like Treme) are now played to Australian audiences just days after their US debut. Anyway the latest ‘fast tracked premiere’ is Unforgettable (WIN, Thu Oct 6, 8.30pm) a US drama starring ‘Australia’s own’ Poppy Montgomery as an ex-detective with a disorder that means she remembers everything clearly. Of course she is lured back to help the police solve a murder. It’s based on a J. Robert Lennon short story.

Also ‘fast-tracked’ is Person of Interest (WIN, Sun, 9.30pm), a crime drama set amongst crime, corruption and cops in New York, where a presumed dead federal agent teams up with a computer genius to beat the system. It’s created by Jonathan Nolan (Memento), Bryan Burk and the legendary J.J. Abrams.

Franchising, like any good advertiser should, The Gruen Transfer has given birth to Gruen Planet (ABC1, Wed Sep 28, 9pm) which will look not just at advertising but at how advertising and public relations affect how we see the world – why everything is spin, branding, advertising and image control.

Also coming are series three of Breaking Bad (ABC 2, Thu Sep 29, 9pm), new United States of Tara (ABC2, Tue Sep 27, 8.30pm), the new Charlie’s Angels (WIN, Tue Sep 27, 7.30pm), a new season of CSI (WIN, Wed Sep 28, 8.30pm), William Shatner’s Weird or What? (SBS1, Mon Oct 3, 7.30pm), Big Love (SBS1, Thu Oct 6, 10pm) and The Hamster Wheel (ABC1, Wed, 9.35pm) which sees The Chaser crew looking at how journalism works which is really just an excuse for more pranks.

The final episode of Catalyst (ABC1, Thu Sep 29, 8pm) looks specifically at GM crops, asking Frankenfood or famine buster?

Other docos to check out include Planet Egypt (SBS1, Sun, 7.30pm), a series looking at what transformed an agrarian society into one of the world’s great empires, Compass: Death in Brooklyn (ABC1, Sun Oct 2, 10pm) which looks at the New York neighbourhood of Crown Heights where racial tensions between Orthodox Jews and African Americans resulted in riots 20 years ago, Rome Wasn’t Built In a Day (ABC1, Tue Oct 4, 8.30pm) follows the construction of a Roman villa using only Roman methods, Choccywoccydoodah: Failure Is Not An Option (ABC2, Fri Oct 14, 6pm) which goes behind the scenes at the infamous British chocolate shop that helped Tim Burton create Willy Wonka’s world, Sunday Best: Jesus Camp (ABC2, Sun Oct 9, 8.30pm) which looks at the evangelical Christian camps that recruit born-again Christian children to become an active part of America's political future, Louis Theroux: Louis and the Nazis (ABC2, Wed Oct 12, 8.30pm) which sees Louis meet members of the White Aryan Resistance including everyone’s favourite baby-faced warblers Lamb and Lynx.

Don’t miss Triple J Presents Architecture in Helsinki (ABC2, Tue Oct 11, 10.20pm).

TRACY HEFFERNAN

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

One of the biggest guitar heroes of all time died 31 years ago but the legacy of Jimi Hendrix lives on in all self styled guitar heroes (even those proficient only at the air model). The brilliant autobiography, Jimi Hendrix: Voodoo Child (ABC2, Sun Sep 18, 8.30pm) brings the legend to life.

Big news of the week is that The Chaser crew are returning with a new show – The Hamster Wheel – on ABC later this year.

Sunday Best (ABC2, Sun Sep 25, 8.30pm) brings a series of feature length documentaries to auntie’s second digi channel including Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room, the story of the infamous oil spill, Lesson Plan, Teenage Paparazzo directed by Entourage’s Adrian Greiner, Hoop Dreams, Born into Brothels, The Most Dangerous Man in America, Jesus Camp and Out of the Ashes, the story of the Afghan cricket team.

Other docos to check out include Kill it, Cook it, Eat it (ABC2, Wed Sep 14, 9.30pm), which follows meat production from farm to table, The Truth Behind: Crop Circles (7Mate, Thu Sep 15, 10.30pm), and Stealing Shakespeare (ABC1, Tue Sep 27, 8.30pm) which follows the story of con man Raymond Scott who tried to sell a folio of Shakespeare’s original plays.

A special episode of Collectors (ABC1, Fir Sep 16, 8pm) takes a guided tour of the Tasmanian private art gallery that’s putting the southern state on the map.

The seasonal changeover continues and it’s not just the pink cherry blossoms and the squawk of magpies. New and returning faves are filling TV screens including the third season of Breaking Bad (ABC2, Thu Sep 29, 9pm), the second half of the new series of Dr Who (ABC1, Sat Sep 17, 7.30pm), Father & Son (ABC2, Mon Sep 19, 8.30pm), a new BBC series about a British gangster trying to leave his former life behind, a new season of United States of Tara and The No.1 Ladies Detective Agency (ABC1, Sun Sep 25, 8.30pm) based on the novels of Alexander McCall-Smith.

Adam Hills takes his stand-up routine to the small screen with Adam Hills Live: Joymonger and Characterful (ABC1, Sat Sep 17, 9.25pm).

Those with a criminal underworld obsession will love new ob doco Lockdown (7Mate, Thu, 9.40pm) which takes viewers inside the US justice system’s most notorious prisons.

The Bazura Project (ABC2, Mon Sep 29, 9.30pm) is a six-part comedy about the movies. Well, a look at how they are made and the six essential ingredients – sex, violence, money, profanity, drugs and fame.

At the Movies is running a comp to celebrate their 25^th anniversary (albeit on a couple of different networks). All you need do is create a trailer for a fake movie for David and Margaret to review. It closes Monday September 19. Visit http://bit.ly/atmcomp for details.

Movies to check out include classic Western The Magnificent Seven (ABC2, Sat Sep 17, 8.30pm) starring Yul Bryner and Charles Bronson.

Don’t miss This is England (SBS1, Sat Sep 24, 10.05pm). Set in a working class council estate in Britain in the ‘80s, the film looks at the relationship between those drawn to skinhead culture as a way to fit in and the National Front in what was then referred to as Thatcher’s Britain.

TRACY HEFFERNAN

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

There’s new Australian comedy on auntie this week with Twentysomethings (ABC2, Tue Sep 6, 9pm) and At Home With Julia (ABC1, Wed Sep 7, 9.30pm). Twentysomethings is witty, well-written and most of all, about having fun. At Home With Julia is just what its name suggests, a parody of life at the lodge with the PM and her partner Tim.

There really is no end to the ridiculous premises for low cost reality, talent and ob doco programs – this fortnight’s gems include: Same Name (WIN, Wed, 7.30pm), where celebrities swap places with regular people who have the same name, and Are You Fitter Than A Pensioner (Go!, Thu, 7.30pm) which, yes, is just as the name suggests.

Other new and returning shows include Rush (SCTEN, Thu Sep 1, 8.30pm), Good News World (SCTEN, Mon Sep 5, 9.30pm), Louis Theroux Specials (ABC2, Wed Sep 7, 8.30pm), Swift & Shift Couriers (SBS1, Mon, 8.30pm), Top Gear Australia (WIN, Tue, 8.30pm) and triple j Presents (ABC2, Tue Sep 13, 10.20pm).

Despite its tenuous link to a Canberra institution, the first eps of Underbelly Razor were underwhelming. With the plot already written for them, is it too much to ask for some creative dialogue?

Predictably many of this fortnight’s docos focus on the 10^th anniversary of the September 11 attacks, which were broadcast live during prime time in Australia. The occupants of Chez Blackbox, like many Canberrans, were watching The West Wing when the pictures started rolling in. Docos include: 9/11: The Day That Shook The World (SBS1, Tue Sep 6, 8.30pm), which shows minute by minute how the disaster was managed, Engineering Ground Zero (SBS1, Sun Sep 11, 7.30pm), Love Hate Love (SBS1, Sun Sep 11, 9.30pm) a Sean Penn film which tells the story of three families affected by terrorism, Children of 9/11 (SCTEN, Tue Sep 6, 9.30pm), which looks at the families affected, Dateline: 9/11: Ten Years On (SBS1, Sun Sep 11, 8.30pm), Rebirth (ABC1, Sun Sep 11, 8.30pm) which follows those affected by 9/11, and Compass: 9/11 Ten Years On (ABC1, Sun Sep 11, 10pm).

Other docos include Artscape: 3 Days in Venice: Biennale 2011 (ABC2, Tue Sep 20, 10.05pm), Joanna Lumley Jewel of the Nile (GEM, Thu Sep 1, 7.30pm) which follows the British actress on a journey along the Nile River, and The Passionate Apprentices (SBS1, Sat, 6pm) following artisan apprentices such as knifemakers and beekeepers, The September Issue (ABC1, Sun Sep 4, 8.30pm) a fly on the wall view of Vogue magazine, and Julien Temple’s Glastonbury (ABC2, Sun Sep 4, 8.30pm).

Apparently it’s less than 120 days until Christmas and just to remind you there are Christmas specials including Absolutely Fabulous (ABC2, Sun Sep 4, 11.35pm), and Family Guy (7Mate, Sun Sep 4, 8.30pm).

Movie picks include Age of Consent (ABC2, Sat Sep 3, 8.30pm) from 1969 with a young Helen Mirren, Donnie Brasco (GEM, Fri Sep 2, 9.30pm), Henry V111 And His Six Wives (GEM, Sat Sep 3, 2.25am) a historically inaccurate ‘70s flick starring Charlotte Rampling as Anne Boleyn, Almost Famous (Go!, Sun Sep 4, 8.30pm), Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (Go!, Wed Sep 7, 9.30pm), ‘80s adventure flick The Jewel of the Nile (SCTEN, Sat Sep 3, 8.40pm) and Tarantino classic Pulp Fiction (Go!, Fri Sep 2, 9.30pm).

Don’t miss Rosso’s house on Better Homes and Gardens (WIN, Fri Sep 2, 7.30pm).

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

Apparently, according to incessant commercials running on all three of WIN’s digi channels, Sunday August 21 is television’s biggest night of the year because a) it hosts the final of The Block (WIN, 6.30pm) and b) the first episode of the latest Underbelly instalment, Underbelly Razor (WIN, 8.30pm). Blackbox wholeheartedly agrees with part a) because it takes the most annoying reality series of the year off the box, but is less convinced about part b). Sure the first season of Underbelly that brought Melbourne’s gangland killings to life and featured Kat Stewart’s riveting portrayal of Roberta Williams, was awesome television but the following two instalments haven’t really lived up to expectations.

Also returning (with slightly less fanfare) are new seasons of Weeds (GEM, Mon, 11pm), The Big C (GEM, Mon, 10.30pm), and Hung (Prime, Tue, 10.30pm).

Other new shows include On Track (ABC2, Fri Aug 26, 9.15pm) which focuses on artists recording, Suits (Prime, Mon, 9.40pm) a new legal series that’s part of the US summer roster from the people who brought you Burn Notice, Accused (ABC1, Fri Aug 26, 9.30pm), a series of six teleplays from writer Jimmy McGovern where an ordinary person winds up in the dock, Monroe (ABC1, Sat Aug 27, 8.30pm) a new James Nesbitt series, this time a medical one, and ob doco Drug Bust (Prime, Thu Aug 18, 7.20pm). Really the only question is why it took so long – much more intriguing than drink driving, parking infringements or the endless stream of drunk, drugged and prostituting bust on COPS (One Tue, Wed, 8.30pm).

And if you enjoy intrigue, put Emmy Award winning Danish series The Protectors (SBS1, Thu, 10pm) on your viewing roster.

Carlos (ABC2, Mon Aug 29, 8.30pm) is a three part drama from Olivier Assayas that portrays the life of notorious revolutionary and terrorist, Ilich Ramírez Sánchez aka Carlos the Jackal.

If you want to join the next series of Amazing Race Australia, you’d better be quick. Applications close on Friday August 19. Check yahoo7.com.au/theamazingrace for details.

Gastronomes will enjoy Jamie Oliver’s European adventures in Jamie Does (SCTEN, Sat, 6.30pm) which takes in the cuisine of Andalucia on Saturday August 20 and Stockholm (Blackbox’s fav city) on Saturday Aug 27.

Coming soon to Prime – Wild Boys, a story about bushrangers, power and government corruption in the 1850s – Australian version of Deadwood?

 Docos to check out include The Cove (ABC1, Sun Aug 28, 8.30pm), the story of an elite team of activists, who penetrated the site of a dolphin hunt, Artscape: Stunt Love (ABC1, Tue Aug 30, 10.05pm), the life of Australian stunt director J.P ‘Jack’ McGowan in the early 20^th century, and In The Shadow Of Hollywood: Race Movies And The Birth Of Black Cinema (ABC2, Sun Aug 21, 8.30pm).

The cutest babies on earth are baby animals and Zoo Babies (GEM, Tue, 7.30pm) is chock full of them – gibbons, zebras, elephants…

The pick of this fortnight’s movies are Pulp Fiction (Go!, Fri Aug 26, 9:50pm) – what Tarrantino was doing before Kill Bill, 50 First Dates (Go!, Fri Aug 19, 7.30pm) – what Adam Sandler was doing after Happy Gilmore, Hitchcock classic North by Northwest (GEM, Sat Aug 27, 2.40pm), and Star Trek (SCTEN, Sun Aug 21, 8.30pm) the Eric Bana film not the Shatner one although Leonard Nimoy makes an appearance.

Trekkies should catch a repeat of Getaway (WIN, Wed Aug 21, 2.05pm), which features the world’s only organised tour conducted in Klingon.

Guest star of the week – Gene Simmons in Castle (Prime, Sun Aug 21, 9.30pm).

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

The latest Chez Blackbox obsession Sons of Anarchy (One, Wed Aug 10, 9.30pm) gets even better this fortnight as it swings into the season two storyline and the great Henry Rollins joins the cast. Hank does a star turn as (ironically) a white supremacist. Playing against type is status quo for Hank – fans should seek out The Chase, an early ‘90s b-grade action flick which also features cameos by Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers and porn legend Ron Jeremy.

Friday Night Lights (ABC1, Fri, 8.30pm) does for middle America what The Wire did for Baltimore – showing a true portrayal of the characters that inhabit what bureaucrats call the flyover states.

Other shows new to screens in coming weeks include Valemont (ABC2, Tue Aug 16, 8.30pm) – another Supernatural series that went straight to the web in the US, Renovators (SCTEN, Sun Aug 7, 7.30pm) – the network’s replacement for Masterchef (SCTEN, Sun Aug 7, 6.30pm), Big Trouble in Thailand (Go!, Thu, 8.30pm) following British cops working alongside Thai police, The Hotel (SBS1, Wed Aug 10, 8.30pm) – an ob doco about a hotel in the UK and new seasons of Talkin’ ‘bout Your Generation (SCTEN, Wed Aug 10, 8.30pm), Law & Order UK (SCTEN, Fri Aug 12, 8.30pm) and Law & Order (SCTEN, Fri Aug 12, 9.30pm).

Just when you thought the networks had run out of premises for talent shows, along comes The Voice (Go!, Tue Aug 9, 7.30pm), hosted by Carson Daly, which apparently takes looks out of the equation. Judges on the US show have their backs to the contestants and only get to see them after they make a decision. Not sure what happens in the casting audition though.

Finally Buffy the Vampire Slayer (11, Sat, 11.30pm) makes it onto the late night roster. Unfortunately it’s at the expense of Roseanne but only on the weekend. For a bit of Australian cultural history night owls can also catch Skippy (WIN, Sun, 5.30am).

It was bound to happen sooner or later – WIN has announced production of a Beaconsfield telemovie. No air date yet but it will star Shane Jacobson and Lachy Hume. Come to think of it, the WIN folks are yet to reveal an air date for Underbelly Razor despite relentless promotion for at least the past year.

Docos to check out include Erasing David (ABC1, Wed Aug 3, 9.30pm) where UK filmmaker David Bond sees whether he can actually disappear without a trace, Artscape: Carnival Queen (ABC2, Tue Aug 23, 10pm) which follows Finucane and Smith’s Carnival of Mysteries as it is prepared for the stage, Ingrid Betancourt: 6 years in the Jungle (ABC1, Wed Aug 17, 10.20pm) which recounts what happened to Colombia’s most famous hostage, and The Invention of Dr Nakamats (ABC2, Wed Aug 10, 9.20pm) – the world’s most prolific patent holder and inventor of the CD.

Movie picks this fortnight include In the Heat of the Night (ABC2, Sat Aug 20, 8.30pm), Tropic Thunder (SCTEN, Sun Aug 7, 9.35pm), Thank You For Smoking (SCTEN, Sat Aug 6, 10pm), Chocolat (GEM, Fri Aug 12, 8.30pm), Rio Bravo (GEM, Sat Aug 13, 3.05pm), The Omega Man (WIN, Sat Aug 13, 2am) and the premiere of Australian horror flick The Tunnel (iView from Sun Aug 14).

Also don’t miss the new series of British political satire The Thick of It (ABC1, Thu, 10pm).

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

As a foodie at heart (a pastime that can at least in part be enjoyed slothing about in front of the telly with a pinot or three), the endless gastronomic advice now available through digital TV channels was welcomed, as long as it didn’t come from Masterchef (SCTEN, Sun-Fri, 7.30pm). But now, the networks have gone into a time warp flooding our screens with home reno shows – besides the five nights a week of The Block (WIN) which is now casting for its next season, there’s Jamie Drury’s Top Design (WIN, Wed, 8pm), 60 Minute Makeover (7TWO, Sun, 9.45pm) and repeats of Room for Improvement (7TWO, Wed, 2.30am). If you really want to know about home renovation, stick with the new series of Grand Designs (ABC1, Sun, 7.30pm) where you might also learn a thing or two about architecture, design and not looking like the CAD rendered drawing on the real estate brochure.

The much promoted Hamish &Andy’s Gap Year (SCTEN, Thu Jul 28, 8.30pm) takes the intrepid duo to the US now that Spicks and Specks has wrapped. Other new shows include the premiere of pawn shop obdoco Hardcore Pawn (7Mate, Wed Jul 20, 8.30pm), Off The Map (Prime, Thu Jul 21, 10.41pm), already cancelled medical drama set in South America, the much awaited Friday Night Lights (ABC2, Fri Jul 29, 8.30pm) and the one-off comedy show We ain’t Terrorists (ABC2, Thu Jul 28, 9.30pm). 

 If you’re a fan, make sure you catch Spicks and Specks (ABC1, Wed, 8.30pm) – there’s only a few months left of this season, its last. For a triple treat, it’ll soon be followed by The Gruen Transfer (ABC1, Wed Aug 3, 9pm) and Judith Lucy’s Spiritual Journeys Transfer (ABC1, Wed Aug 3, 9.30pm), which put’s the comedienne’s spin on the topic that spurned the John Safran and Fr Bob phenomenon.

Collectors (ABC1, Fri Jul 22, 8pm) promises two not-to-be-missed segments - a look at Boardgames and a chat with bma’s own Justin Haezlewood.

There’s a plethora of documentary series coming up including Tropic of Capricorn (SBS1, Wed Aug 3, 7.30pm) which follows Simon Reeve as he circumnavigates the southern hemisphere, Seduction in the City (SBS1, Wed Jul 27, 8.30m) which looks at the history of shopping, Sex: An Unnatural History (SBS1, Fri Jul 29, 10pm), expertly hosted by Julia Zemiro.

Other docos to check out include Compass: Bali High Wedding (ABC1, Sun Jul 24, 10pm), Secrets of Stonehenge (SBS1, Sun Jul 31, 7.30pm), James May at the Edge of Space (SBS1, Sun Jul 24, 9.30pm), and Final 24: John Belushi (7Mate, Thu Jul 28, 11.30pm)

There’s a weekend pyjama fest for fans of xtreme and death defying sports including skateboarding with Drive (One, Sat Jul 23, 11.30am), Pro Bull Riding (One, Sun Jul 24, 10am), Snowboarding: TTR World Tour (One, Sun Jul 24, 11.30am), World of Free Sports (One, Sun Jul 24, 11am) and Cycling: UCI BMX World Championships (SBS2, Sun Jul 31, 8.30pm)

Movies this fortnight include Juno (SCTEN, Fri Jul 22, 9pm), Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (GEM, Sat Jul 30, 3.40pm), The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (ABC2, Sat Jul 30, 8.30pm) and Mary Poppins (7Mate, Sat Jul 30, 1.30pm)

And what is it with franchises and L.A.? First the woeful NCIS: LA (SCTEN, Tue, 9.30pm) and now Law and Order: LA (Prime, Thu, 8.40pm). What next? CSI: LA?

Blackbox

There are two types of drama in the US. The first is the good, well scripted variety that usually comes out of the Showtime or HBO stables and eventually makes its way to Australian free-to-air networks, usually via pay TV here. Think Sons of Anarchy (One, Wed, 9.30pm), The Wire (ABC2, Fri, 10.30pm), Californication (11, Tue, 10pm), The Big C (GEM, Mon, 11.10pm), Deadwood (ABC2, Mon, 9.30pm), Mad Men (SBS, TBC) and True Blood (still waiting for free-to-air debut). The second is the replicating an old TV show, movie, or worse still, Americanising a show that’s been successful in another English speaking country. Buffy and The Office (11, Tue, 8.30pm) were successful, Kath and Kim less so.

This week’s new offerings are most definitely the second type. Teen Wolf (Prime, Mon July 11, 9.30pm) takes the ‘80s Michael J Fox teen movie and turns it into a series. Or tries to.

The US network execs have taken the British cult underworld drama Being Human (11, Mon, 9.30pm) about a vampire, werewolf and ghost sharing a house, transplanted it in Boston and done what every network exec is bound to do – filled it with pretty people. What is it about Americans needing their TV casts to look like they stepped out of a photo shoot for banality? This comes off the back of the US version of Wilfred (11, Tue, 9.30pm), which is watchable because of Elijah Wood, but mostly because Jason Gann has reprised his role as Wilfred. Watch out for the US version of Shameless with William H Macy.

Good old Auntie has fresh Australian drama with Crownies (ABC1, Thu July 14, 8.30pm) set in the courts and legal chambers. While this is no Rake, it is still worth a look.

Marchlands (ABC1, Sat July 23, 8.25pm), is an innovative and intriguing BBC drama about a haunted house, with three interconnecting plotlines set in 1968, 1987 and 2010.

The ‘much funnier when he was an acerbic judge on idol’ Dicko hosts SCTEN’s newie Can of Worms (SCTEN, Mon, 8.45pm).

Other new series include a new season of Grand Designs (ABC1, Sun, 7.30pm), Jail (7Mate, Thu July 14) an ob doco series on… well, jail, Young, Dumb and Living off Mum (Prime, Mon, 10.30pm), and brilliant UK political satire The Thick of It (ABC2, Thu July 21, 10.15pm).

Docos to check out include: The King of Calls (SBS1, Sun July 17, 9.30pm) which looks at the day-to-day operations of an Indian call centre, The Buddha (SBS2, Tue July 19, 7.30pm) a two-parter narrated by Richard Gere to tell the story of the Buddha, Triple J’s One Night Stand (ABC2, Sun July 17, 8.30pm), 7 Ages of Marriage (ABC2, Wed July 13, 8.30pm) about how people approach weddings, and Jennifer Byrne Presents: Fantasy (ABC1, Tue July 12, 9.55pm) with guests Jennifer Rowe (aka Emily Rodda), Lev Grossman and Fiona McIntosh.

Cycling junkies won’t want to miss Le Tour de France - live nightly (SBS1, nightly 10pm until Sunday July 24), morning updates (SBS1, daily 7.30am) and daily highlight packages (SBS1, daily 6pm and SBS2, daily 8.30pm).

Movies to look out for include spaghetti western For a Few Dollars More (ABC2, Sat July 23, 8.30pm) and New York, New York (ABC2, Sat July 16, 8.30pm).

TRACY HEFFERNAN

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

One man’s hoarder is another man’s collector and there are plenty of shows to cater for the obsession including American Pickers (7Mate, Wed Jun 29, 9.30pm),which follows Mike Wolfe and Franz Fritz as they unearth rare finds in people’s garages and junkyards across the US Midwest, Hardcore Pawn (7Mate, Wed Jun 29, 10.30pm), a fly on the wall doco about a family owned pawn shop in Detroit, Antiques Roadshow (Gem Sat, Sun 6.30pm, Mon-Fri 4.30pm) and Australia’s favourite (and the best) Collectors (ABC1, Fri, 8pm) which peers into some of the most eclectic collections imaginable.

Mate is really living up to its moniker with a slew of very blokey new observational docos including Monster Nation (7Mate, Wed Jun 29, 11pm), Monster Garage with ordinary people, Swamp People (7Mate, Thu Jun 30, 7.30pm), which follows the alligator season in Louisiana, and repeats of Mythbusters (7Mate, Wed Jun 29, 7.30pm).

It’s all about the observational doco this issue with viewers finally getting a peek behind the scenes of UK policing with Behind the Force (SBS1, Tue Jun 28, 8.30pm) and yes Chez Blackbox will be most disappointed if it turns out to be more like COPS (One; Tue, Wed, 8.30pm) than The Bill (7TWO, Thu 8.30pm, ABC1, Mon-Fri, 4am).

And the new Chez Blackbox fave ob doco is An Idiot Abroad (One, Mon, 8.30pm). More a rollicking travel comedy, really - Ricky Gervais (which usually spells don’t watch) has sent his mate Karl Plinkington off around the world to sample other cultures. If Karl was Australian he’d probably come from Bogangate and question why you’d want to go to Sydney, let alone Brazil. As it turns out, he does go to Brazil and as you’d expect makes some hilarious observations.

Those who fancy a fash mag career should check out Marie Claire – Under the Cover (7TWO, Sun 6.30pm, Prime, Sat, 2pm). The BMA office is much more exciting… just sayin’. Those who dream to be a famous product designer should get a taste of the reruns of Design for Life (ABC2, Sun, 8pm) – not sure Philippe Starck really disproves the arrogance of the French.

Other docos to check out include Leigh Hart’s Mysterious Planet (ABC1, Tue, 9pm), which looks at the world’s greatest mysteries, like the Loch Ness Monster, The True Story (ABC1, Wed, 9.30pm) looks at the real stories that inspired Hollywood adventure flicks such as Pirates of the Caribbean and James Bond, Nuclear Meltdown (SBS1, Sun Jun 19, 9.30pm) looks at the situation at Fukushima, and Go Back to Where You Came From (SBS1, Tue Jun 21, Wed Jun 22, Thu Jun 23, 8.30pm) takes six Australians on the reverse journey that refugees have taken to reach Australia.

If you like Will Ferrell, you can now catch him on the small screen in Eastbound and Down (7Mate, Tue, 10.30pm) as burnt out baseball player Kenny Powers. Pure unadulterated Will Ferrell and Danny McBride.

Looking for some non-footy sports viewing? The FIFA Women’s World Cup is on (SBS1, starts Mon Jun 27, 1.30am) and should be good for the patriotic spirit – Australia’s women’s team is ranked 11^th in the world. Tennis fans will be pleased to hear Prime will be broadcasting Wimbledon live.

The brilliant Rake (ABC1, Sat Jul 2, 9.30pm) is repeated (again) and don’t miss Stephen Fry’s latest dramedy Kingdom (ABC1, Sat Jun 18, 7.30pm).

TRACY HEFFERNAN

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

Chez Blackbox is (en)raptured by Sons of Anarchy (One, Wed, 10.30pm). The US drama about the original chapter of the fictional Sons of Anarchy motorcycle club has brilliant characterisation, well thought out scripts, just the right amount of violence and a sprinkling of moral ambiguity. Blackbox will be waiting patiently on the couch, Buffy survival kit at the ready, watching Sons of Anarchy, True Blood and Treme (if the two latter shows ever get picked up on free-to-air). When better than the apocalypse than to dream of square-eyed heaven?

Biggest disappointment of the new season offerings has got to be Jersey Shore. Sure, it’s great for caricatures, but it’s not even mildly funny or even entertaining in a morbid sort of way. It’s just sad. Really sad.

The jury’s still out on Amazing Race Australia (Prime, Mon, 8.30pm). Australians just aren’t as whiney as Americans and the teams are a little too contrived. Farmers who haven’t left Australia – please…

And there are more new shows including Outcasts (ABC1, Sat May 28, 8.30pm) a new British sci-fi drama that follows a group of pioneers building a new settlement on the planet Caparthia, Thorne (ABC1, Fri May 27, 8.30pm), which puts the crime novels of Mark Billingham on the box, The Kennedys (ABC1, Sun, 8.30pm) with Katie Holmes trying to play the first lady with the same facial expressions she used as Joey in Dawson’s Creek. The Young Ones (ABC2, Tue Jun 14) which takes six celebrities from the ‘70s and sends them to live as they would have in the ‘70s, as well as new seasons of Hustle (Fri Jun 3, 9.20pm), Deadwood (ABC2, Mon Jun 6, 9.30pm) and The Tudors (ABC2, Fri Jun 10, 9.15pm).

In recent times, auntie has almost cornered the market on the 20^th century biopic, including the brilliant Paper Giants, which chronicled the creation of Cleo. Keen to be involved in a story that involves them, WIN will air the as yet unnamed mini-series about Kerry Packer’s other creation, World Series Cricket.

Later in May, 7TWO will start airing reruns of The Bill. Unfortunately they are picking it up from series 15, long past the point of soap opera. Take it back to series one – with cockney conmen, DI Burnside and DI Tosh Lyons.

Docos to check out include Murundak – Songs of Freedom (SBS, Saturday May 28, 10.05pm), which follows the Black Arm Band and features indigenous music legends such as Archie Roach, Bart Willoughby, Jimmy Little and Ruby Hunter; Recipe for Murder (ABC1, Thu May 26, 8.35pm), which takes us back to 1950s Sydney where women were adding rat poison to cakes and cups of tea and feeding it to their murder victims; and Jump! (SBS1, Tue Jun 7, 10pm), which looks at the world of competitive jump rope.

Catalyst (ABC1, Thu Jun 2, 8pm) is always a good source of quirky amusement and this week the ultimate in why? Mathematicians have finally found God’s algorithm – the fewest number of moves it takes to solve Rubik’s cube.

Don’t miss Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean (ABC2, Sat May 28, 8.30pm), A Quiet Word with Richard. E. Grant (ABC1, Sat Jun 4, 9.30pm), and Artscape: Bryan Ferry in Conversation with Virginia Trioli (ABC2, Tue Jun14, 8.30pm).

TRACY HEFFERNAN

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

It’s a reality TV bonanza (and regular readers would know at Chez Blackbox that means pulling out the old school series yet to make it to 11 or Go! – Twin Peaks is the newest re-obsession). For those reality-inclined (and the psychology students watching for ‘research’) there’s new Masterchef (SCTEN, Sun-Fri 7.30pm) and Dancing with the [B-Grade] Stars (Prime, Sun 6.30pm). The Australian version of The Amazing Race, Blackbox’s one reality weakness is due to start soon. In the meantime, adventurers should check out Wild Rides (ABC2, Fri 8pm), and re-runs of Charlie Boorman and Ewan McGregor’s Long Way Round (One, Wed 7.30pm)

Jersey Shore (7Mate, Wed May 18, 8.30pm) is coming to free-to-air! The observational doco that even the US president was talking about is here. TMZ addicts would be somewhat familiar with the hijinks of Snooki and the Situation.

Sci-fi fantasy Riese (ABC2, Fri May 20, 9.15pm) is worth staying in for. A luscious production that’s a bit Mad Max crossed with Xena, it started its life as a web production before being picked up on the SyFy channel in the states.

Other new offerings include The Kennedys (ABC1, Sun May 22, 8.35pm) starring Greg Kinnear and Mrs Cruise (Katie Holmes), Come Fly With Me (WIN, Mon May 16, 8pm) the airport themed new offering from the Little Britain Boys, No Ordinary Family (Prime, Mon 7.30pm) is about an ordinary family that get superpowers after a freak accident, My Big Friggin’ Wedding (Prime, Mon 10.30pm), a new season of Sanctuary (ABC2, Fri May 20, 8.30pm), Chris Lilley’s newie Angry Boys (ABC1, Wed May 11, 8pm), reruns of The Six Million Dollar Man (7Mate, Tue May 10, 3am), new Offspring (SCTEN, Mon May 16, 8.30pm), and of course Sons of Anarchy (One, Wed 9.30pm).

Just in case you wake up confused, ABC News Breakfast (ABC1, Mon-Fri 6am) has moved to ABC1 and the kids programs are airing on ABC2, including the new fully animated Bananas in Pyjamas (ABC2, daily 8am, 1.30pm). BMA interviewed the Bananas when they turned ten. Now they’re a very grown up 19.

Unfortunately, like its HBO stable mate True Blood, medieval fantasy Game of Thrones, described as a medieval Sopranos (7Mate, Wed-Fri 12am), will air on Pay TV here. For those willing to shell out, it’s expected on Showcase in July.

Don’t miss TalHotBlond (ABC2, Wed May 18, 8.30pm), the true story of a cyber vixen whose online fantasy escalated to a real life murder.

Other docos to check out include Bleach, Nip, Tuck: The White Beauty Myth (ABC1. Wed May 18, 9.30pm) looks at the phenomenon of people of other cultural backgrounds having surgery to make them look more European, Jennifer Byrne Presents: The Future of the Book (ABC1, Tue May 17, 10pm), Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking (SBS, Tue May 24, 8.30pm), and Men Who Swim (ABC2, Wed May 24, 8.30pm) which follows a male synchronised swimming team in Stockholm.

Movie highlights include Marlon Brando classic The Wild One (ABC2, Sat May 21 8.30pm), Escape from New York (7Mate, Sun May 15, 8.30pm) and Our Man in Marrakesh (7TWO, Sat May 14, 12am).

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

TVs across the land are about to be overwhelmed by pomp, ceremony and an overdose of kitsch and not just from the upcoming royal nuptials. May is Eurovision month, an event that provides more elaborate frocks, more protocol, more tradition and more inane commentary than any royal event.

Eurovision fever kicks off with the Secret History of Eurovision (SBS1 Fri May 6 & 13, 7.30pm) which traces its origins in 1956 through its expansion at the end of the cold war to the worldwide TV phenomenon it has become. The Semi-Finals follow (SBS1 Fri May 13, 8.30pm & Sat May 14, 7.30pm,) with the Eurovision Final (SBS1 Sun May 15, 7.30pm).

For those who just can’t look away, the Royal Wedding broadcasts include The Royal Wedding (ABC1 Fri Apr 29, 6pm) with BBC presenters such as Huw Edwards, and William and Kate – The Royal Wedding (Prime Fri Apr 29, 4pm) with Chris Bath. Not interested? Pop out to the pub, they’re sure to have the footy on instead. And for god’s sake don’t get sucked in by all those specials that promise the inside goss… pretty sure the palace isn’t going to allow the dress design to be leaked to Dicky Arbiter.

Over those engineering marvel shows? This one will hook you in – Animal Monster Moves (SBS1 Saturdays, 7.30pm) shows vets and transport engineers move herds of elephants and rhino, and killer sharks across continents. There’s also Man Made Marvels Sydney Opera House (7Mate Sun May 8, 7.30pm) and Ultimate Factories – Ferrari (7Mate Sun May 8, 7.30pm).

Spicks and Specks (ABC1 Wed May 4, 8.30pm) is back starting with a one-hour comedy special and on Wednesday May 18, BMA’s own Justin Heazlewood aka The Bedroom Philosopher.

The end of the Easter holidays brings with it a raft of new shows, including Chris Lilley’s newie, Angry Boys (ABC1 Wed May 11), Swingtown (ABC2 Mon May 2, 8.30pm), the new series from the makers of Big Love that takes on 70s swingers rather than modern-day polygamists, Meet the Natives USA (ABC2 Sat May 7, 7.30pm) which takes five South Pacific tribesman to live with the ‘tribes’ of Americans – cowboys, Californians, etc. And new seasons of Dr Who (ABC1 Sat Apr 30, 7.30pm), Masterchef (SCTEN Sun May 1, 4.30pm) and Collectors (ABC1 Fri May 6, 8pm) that starts with Monopoly, sci-fi memorabilia, and milk paraphernalia.

Docos to check out include Intangible Asset No 82 (ABC2 Sun May 15, 8.30pm) which sees Australian drummer Simon Baker search out Korean shaman, Kim Seok-Chul; Madagascar (WIN Wed May 4, 7.30pm), which looks at the wildlife and natural environment of the island; The Real King’s Speech (ABC1 Thu May 5, 8.30pm) uses interviews to delve into the relationship between King George VI and his speech therapist; Atlantis: The Evidence (ABC1 Thu May 5, 9.30pm); and Gaddafi: Our Best Enemy (SBS1 Sun May 8, 9.30pm).

Keep your recorder ready for some movie classics - Shawshank Redemption (GEM Sun May 1, 8.30pm), Unforgiven (GEM Fri May 6, 8.30pm), The Sandpiper (GEM Sun May 1, 3.30pm) starring Elizabeth Taylor, Carry on Screaming (Gem Wed May 4, 12pm), Witness for the Prosecution (ABC2 Sat may 7, 8.30pm) starring Marlene Dietrich and Glory (ABC2 Sat Apr 30, 8.30pm).

Good Game (ABC2 Tue May 3, 8.30pm) goes all super hero looking at super games from Superman on the Atari 2600 to Batman: Arkham City on Xbox 360.

TRACY HEFFERNAN

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

The extreme long weekend that rolls up Easter and Anzac Day is a great opportunity to lie around in front of the box, especially if it’s cold, wet and miserable. Quite surprisingly, the Easter Bunny doesn’t feature high on the schedule. In terms of Christian religious rituals, the closest you get is a Compass special (ABC1 Fri April 22, 8.30pm) that goes into a remote Aboriginal mission, and two Christian-but-not-really Easter-themed classic movies The Miracle of Our Lady of Fatima (GEM Sat April 23, 6am) and The Ten Commandments (ABC2 Sat April 23, 8.30pm).

Sadly, Go’s main bunny-themed offering is the b-grade movie The House Bunny (Go! Mon April 25, 6.30pm) about an evicted Playboy bunny joining a sorority, featuring Hugh Hefner.

Easter week does bring with it a plethora of much better movie choices including I’m Not There (SBS1 Sat April 23, 10.05pm), Todd Haynes fabulous biopic of Bob Dylan that uses personality rather than narrative, Death of a President (SBS1 Wed April 20, 10.05), a mockumentary which follows the investigation into the assassination of George Bush, (Go! Thurs April 21, 9.30pm), Flight of the Navigator (Go! Sat April 23, 6.30pm), The Omega Man (Go! Sun April 24, 12.30am) and Igor (Go! Wed April 27, 7.30pm).

Anzac Day coverage is everywhere including Lost Diggers of Fromelles (Prime Mon April 25, 7.30pm), ANZAC Day March 2011 (ABC1 Mon April 25, 10.30am) live from Anzac Parade, Gallipoli Dawn Service (ABC1 Mon April 25, 12.30pm), Viller-Bretonneux Memorial Service (ABC1 Mon April 25, 1.30pm), Lone Pine Service from Gallipoli (ABC1 Mon April 25, 6pm).

Don’t miss Australian Story (ABC1 Mon April 25, 8pm) as they follow Jet’s former manager, David Powell and reveal some of the inner dynamics of the relationship.

Art Nation (ABC1 Sun April 17, 5pm) takes on fashion but is not your average catwalk show – it looks at street fashion photography, men’s fashion in Australia, the rise of eco fashion, jewellery design from the House of Baulch and fashion photographer Bruno Benini.

Other new shows and seasons this fortnight include Collectors (ABC1 Fri 8pm), Detroit 1-8-7 (Prime Wed 8.30pm) starring Michael Imperioli (aka Christopher from the Sopranos), new Caprica (7Mate Fri 10.45pm, Sat 10.30pm) and the brilliant East West 101 (SBS Wed Apr 20 8.30pm).

Docos to check out include Stephen Fry and the Great American Oil Spill (ABC1 Tue April 19, 8.30pm) which visits the communities of the deep south to see the effect on the people and the wildlife, William and Kate: A Royal Love Story (ABC1 Tue April 26, 8.30pm), The First Windsors (ABC1 Tue April 26, Wed April 27, Thu April 28, 6pm) and a special Q&A: Is the Royal Romance Over (ABC1 Thu April 28, 8.30pm) which looks at the role of the monarchy in Australia.

If you’re looking to get your head on telly in a reality show, there’s a couple of opportunities at the moment – X Factor auditions in Melbourne April 15 -17 – check www.xfactortv.com.au for details, and Beauty & The Geek is looking for geeks (there’s $100,000 in the offing) visit www.beautyandthegeek.com.au.

West Wing nuts shouldn’t miss 30 Rock (Prime Thu April 21, 11.30pm) with Aaron Sorkin guest starring, made all the more significant by the fact that 30 Rock was the show in direct competition with Sorkin’s quickly cancelled Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

Blackbox

This is a Blackbox community service announcement: Contrary to the tales your mother (and TDK) told you, as yet there is no scientific proof that watching too much television, or sitting too close to the set will give you square eyes. There are, however, a few telltale signs that you’ve got a problem: 1) You refuse to go out on Saturday nights because the (damn) ABC decided that would be the best night for Spooks (ABC Sat 8.30pm). 2) The TV Guide is the first favourite in your web browser. 3) You spend your Sunday in the company of Macgyver (11 Sun 2pm), Magnum PI (7Mate Sun 12pm) and Airwolf (7Mate Sun 1pm). 4) You’ve adopted the catchphrases of your favourite characters. 5) You really believe vampires (and their slayers) walk the earth, bartenders in the wild west sounded like crack dealers, President Bartlett was the leader of the free world, we will boldly go where no man has gone before, serial killers aren’t all bad and that the truth really is out there. If you identify with more than two of these, seek help now. Blackbox recommends booking tix for TV’s Greatest Hits – The Concert. Conductor and host Guy Noble, the Partridge Bunch Singers, the Gilligan's Castaway Orchestra, and some special surprise guests will overdose you on themes from your fave shows. Think the Banana Splits, The Addams Family, Fawlty Towers, The Simpsons, Skippy, Prisoner and Mr Squiggle. It’s at the NSW state theatre on May 5. Tix from Ticketmaster.

Finally, a better game show than those shows where people compete by doing home renos. Car Sharks (7Mate Sat 2pm) pits two teams against each other to customise the same car. It’s an English show so it’s more tongue in cheek than nail biting. And it features some quite hilarious matchups – vicars vs tarts, graffiti artists vs fine artists, etc.

The folks at aunty have been getting all 20 ^th century with their docu-drama. The latest to be served up is Paper Giants: The Birth of Cleo (ABC1 Sun Apr 17, Mon Apr 18 8.30pm). It may not be on the top of your reading list these days but when a young Ita Buttrose and Kerry Packer launched Cleo in the 70s it was cutting edge, controversial and changed the concept of women’s magazines in Australia.

The original Charlie’s Angels (GEM Wed Apr 6 12.25am) starting with the pilot episode.

Docos to check out include The War You Don’t See (SBS1 Sun Apr 10 8.35pm) in which John Pilger looks at the way wars are reported, The Story of Science (SBS1 Tue Apr 12 8.30pm) a six parter that looks at the science that changed the world , Crack House USA (ABC1 Wed Apr 13 9.30pm) which follows a crew of drug dealers in Chicago as federal authorities monitored them, Who Killed Maggie Thatcher (SBS1 Sun Apr 3 9.30pm) which looks at the career of Britain’s Iron Lady, The Secret Life of Chaos (SBS1 Tue Apr 5 8.30pm).

Movies to look out for include Gone with the Wind (GEM Sun Apr 3 3.45pm), Devil Girl from Mars (Mon Apr 4 12.30am), Surf’s Up (Go! Fri Apr 8 8pm), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (11 Sun Apr 3 8.30pm), Lake Mungo (SBS1 Wed Apr 6 10.05pm), Incident at Loch Ness (SBS1 Wed Apr 13 10.05pm), The Lost Thing (ABC1 Sun Apr 3 4.45pm).

TRACY HEFFERNAN

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

Movies are back! When pay TV arrived, movies all but disappeared from the telly, apart from high rotation romcoms ( Pretty Woman , Bridget Jones ) and the occasional cult classic late at night, just before the irritating ads for exercise machines that promise in just five minutes a day your couch potato physique will be transformed to match the rippling abs of the presenter. The challenge of filling at least three 24 hour schedules per network has meant forgotten flicks are popping up everywhere on the (slightly larger) small screen. The upside – it’s free and you don’t have to leave the house to find them. The downside – you have to endure (or tape and skip) the ads. Some of the standouts over the next fortnight include: Seven (GEM, Mon Mar 28, 9.30pm), Flight of the Navigator (Go!, Sat Apr 2, 6.30pm), Space Balls (Go!, Sat Apr 2, 6.30pm) – yes, there was a Star Wars spoof long before Blue Harvest , Dead Calm (GEM, Wed Mar 23, 9.30pm), Friday the 13 ^th (Go!, Wed Mar 23, 9.30pm), Snatch (Go!, Fri Mar 25, 9.30pm), Shampoo (ABC2, Sat Apr 2, 8.30pm) and The Taming of the Shrew (ABC2, Sat Mar 26, 8.30pm).

Confirmation that The Big Bang Theory (Go!, Sun, Mon, Thu, 7.30pm and Thu 8.30pm – WIN, Tue, Wed, 7.30pm) is the new Simpsons – after setting record series, the (quite old) set top box at Chez Blackbox ran out of hard drive after two weeks!

It’s a Greek warrior festival over at 7Mate with Xena Warrior Princess (7Mate, Mon-Fri, 3.30pm) and Hercules (7Mate, Mon-Fri, 4pm). Blackbox is awaiting the return of Roar , starring Heath Ledger as an Irishman uniting Celtic clans against the Romans. Sure, a different century and a different place but it was still about bravado, leather armour and sword fights.

The fourth season of Big Love (SBS1, Wed, 8.30pm) wraps up on Wednesday March 30, with the news that the next season, currently airing in the US, will be the last.

New but already relegated to Friday night is The Cape (7Mate, Fri Apr 1, 8.30pm). This could go either way – an out there premise (a cop who has been set up takes on the identity of a comic super hero to clear his name, and fight crime), Summer Glau in the cast and panned by US critics. It has the hallmarks of some other shows… Firefly comes to mind. And yes it’s already been cancelled in the States.

Docos to look out for include Reagan (SBS1, Sun Mar 27, 9.30pm) which looks at Ronald Reagan’s career on the 100 ^th anniversary of his birth, America, Whaling & the World (SBS1, Tue Mar 29, 10.05pm) which looks at the American whaling industry, Stripped (SBS1, Fri Apr 1, 10.05pm) which follows photographer Greg Friedler as he captures 173 photos in Las Vegas for his Naked series, Mind the Gap (SBS1, Fri Apr 1, 8.30pm) which follows an Australian Sikh family (originally from Kenya via London) as they head to India in search of their identity, Casino Jack and the United States of Money (SBS1, Sun Mar 20, 9.30pm) – a portrait of former Washington lobbyist Jack Abramoff, convicted of mail fraud and conspiracy, Roads to Memphis (SBS1, Tue Mar 22, 10.05pm) – the stories of Martin Luther King and his assassin, James Earl Ray.

Remember Daylight Savings ends Saturday April 2 – reset your recorder!

TRACY HEFFERNAN

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

History as a telly subject usually conjures up images of war films, costume dramas, pointed Englishmen telling you about the saucy goings on in palaces, sepia toned photographs of heroic figures and nothing after the end of World War II. Of course some of the most interesting parts of history are much more pedestrian – the way normal people lived their lives in centuries past, the tools they used to do it and how technology developed. Why, for example, were four different electrical plugs invented and how did people find this out before Wikipedia? This is what makes low budget gems like Turn Back Time: The High Street (ABC2, Thu Mar 10, 8.30pm) so worthwhile. The show sees five shopkeepers and their families set up shop and conduct their lives exactly as merchants did in six earlier eras, beginning in the 1870s and moving through to the 1970s. The shops include The Butchers, The Bakers, The Ironmongers, The Chemist, The Dress Maker, The Record Shop and The Convenience Store Owners. Not sure what a record shop sold in the 1870s (pianoforte rolls?) or what the Ironmonger sells today. Let’s hope they do a second series moving from the 1970s to the 2010s.

The folks at WIN are ‘revamping’ This is Your Life (WIN, Mon, 8.30pm) to make it more contemporary. There’s only one way to turn a self-congratulatory bio-pic interesting – make it funny and Star Stories already did that. WIN have chosen to chuck in some musical numbers (probably from stars with an album to sell) and more Hollywood celebrities (ditto).

Whites (ABC1, Thu Mar 10, 9.30pm) is a new BBC comedy that shouldn’t be missed. Set in the kitchen of a country hotel, it’s written by comedic actors Oliver Lansley ( FM ) and Matt King ( Peep Show ) and stars Alan Davies and Katherine Parkinson ( The IT Crowd ). Not one-liner, laugh out loud funny but good for a chuckle.

Also coming are Harry’s Law (WIN, Sun Mar 6, 9.30pm) – a new legal dramedy (go figure) from David E. Kelley starring Kathy Bates as a curmudgeonly patent lawyer, and new seasons of Deadwood (ABC2, Mon Mar 14, 9.30pm), Being Human (ABC2, Fri Mar 18, 8.30pm) and The Tudors (ABC2, Fri Mar 18, 9.30pm).

Re-enchantment (ABC2, Sun Mar 6, 4.30pm and 10.30pm) is a new cross-media documentary that explores why fairytales continue to enchant and horrify adult audiences. They will be aired on TV as three minute animations between programs, with an interactive online documentary available at www.abc.net/tv/re-enchantment and sound recordings of the fairytales on ABC Radio National's Sunday Story (ABC Radio National, Sun, 8.30am).

Other docos to look out for include How Earth Made Us (ABC1, Tue Mar 8, 8.30pm), a five parter about how the Earth’s natural forces have shaped human civilisation, The Stonewall Uprising (SBS1, Tue Mar 15, 10.05pm) which looks at the beginning of the gay rights movement in the US, Jennifer Byrne Presents: Cult Reads (ABC1, Tue Mar 15, 10pm) and Raw Opium (SBS1, Sun Mar 6, 9.30pm) which charts the history of opium.

Dog lovers will be happy to see Dog Whisperer with Cesar Milan (ABC1, Mon Mar 7, 6.30pm). Blackbox is particularly keen to see the ferocious chihuahua in episode one.

Hot tip: avoid GEM on Thursdays unless you are watching with your Nanna. It’s heavy on the old lady comedy with As Time Goes By (GEM, Thu, 7.30pm), The Golden Girls (GEM, Thu, 8.30pm) and Hot in Cleveland (GEM, Thu, 9pm). Saving grace? Judi Dench and Betty White.

TRACY HEFFERNAN

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

The comedian hosted talk show or variety show, the mainstay of American television, has been a bit of a hit and miss affair on Australian screens. Graham Kennedy was very good at it in the ‘60s and ‘70s, Steve Vizard made a ham-fisted yet successful attempt at pretending to be David Letterman back before most Australians knew who David Letterman was, The Panel turned the format on its head in the ‘90s with five interviewers and Andrew Denton who owned their timeslots for the best part of the last decade.* They were the successful ones. The gutters of TV guides are littered with the wreckage of the ones that didn’t make the grade and over the past few years the networks have been content to recycle the US and UK products, albeit days late, rendering many of the monologues pointless.

This week two new local shows hit our screens – Adam Hills in Gordon Street Tonight (ABC1, Wed, 8.30pm) and Ben Elton Live From Planet Earth (WIN, Tue, 9.30pm). One tanked. The other didn’t. Hills’ show – a mix of the variety, talk and quirk – was a riveting affair, drawing on Hills’ own personality and self-deprecating humour. The show-warming gifts from studio guests were inspired. Then there was the brilliant homage to the studio’s former resident show, Countdown – James Reyne performed the Dragon track April Sun in Cuba on the stage it was performed more than a quarter of a century before. It’s proof that the key to Spick and Specks’ success is at least partially due to Hills. Elton’s show, billed as a live variety show had a few moments of humour but not enough to keep remote control fingers from walking. Elton is a brilliant comedic writer, behind some of the UK’s best cult comedies – The Young Ones and Blackadder among them – and an inspired writer and novelist – Stark, Gridlock, Dead Famous, High Society and the musical We Will Rock You. As a stand-up comic he is hit and miss and as an actor, barely watchable. Live from Planet Earth was proof Elton should stick to making his name from behind the typewriter.

The Underbelly franchise, unable to find enough crime for a whole series this year, has gone to telemovies. Look out for Underbelly Files: Infiltration (WIN, Sun Feb 20, 8.30pm), and The Man Who Got Away (WIN, Sun Feb 27, 8.30pm).

Laid (ABC1, Wed, 9.30pm), created by triple j it girl Marieke Hardy and Kirsty Fisher, is the best new show on television. Its black humour and tightly written scripts make it a must on your viewing schedule (or catch up TV list).

The best of the other newbies include Mike & Molly (WIN, Wed, 8pm), $#*! My Dad Says (WIN, Mon, 8pm), Ugly Americans (SBS1, Mon, 10pm) and the two new episodes a week of The Big Bang Theory (WIN, Tue-Wed, 7.30pm).

Not shy of controversy, Auntie’s spiritual series Compass (ABC1, Sun, 10.20pm) sits down with some notable Australians including Philip Nitschke, Rolf de Heer, Lindy Chamberlain-Creighton and Clare Bowditch. Don’t miss The Filth and The Fury (ABC2, Wed Feb 23, 8.30pm), Julien Temple’s bookend to The Sex Pistols. Tip – watch The Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle first so you know why John Lydon is such a cranky bastard.

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

*For one of the best talk shows of all time, Blackbox recommends scouring the internet for The Henry Rollins Show. Paradoxically it’s available from the iTunes store.

Blackbox

What a difference a decade makes. Regular readers will recognise Blackbox as a not so closeted Star Trekfan. A fan, not a Trekkie (the life-size cardboard cut out Worf in the lounge room belonged to a housemate, honest). Despite this proclivity, Blackbox was fond of telling all in sundry that the best part of Star Trek 7is that Captain Kirk dies twice. Sure, William Shatner’s camp bravado in the original series is iconic but when the plots and props moved beyond cardboard and alfoil, Shatner was done (his cover of Common People aside – fans should check out his original spoken word experiment – The Transformed Man – a regular feature on worst albums of all time lists). The final nail was his woeful, short-lived run hosting the US version of Iron Chef. Then something happened. Shatner discovered his funny bone. One of the most parodied actors in history learnt to play characters that were the butt of everybody’s jokes. A couple of hilarious turns in the Miss Congenialityfilms and Shatner found his true calling as Denny Crane on Boston Legal. Which is what makes $#*! My Dad Says(WIN, Mon, 7.30pm) worth the effort. Based on the Shit my Dad Says Twitter feed, the show has all the makings of a cult classic – panned by critics and with Shatner at his comic best.

Speaking of shows with a post-modern premise, keep your eyes peeled forEpisodes, a new comedy based on the premise of remaking a high brow British comedy for American TV by putting Matt LeBlanc in the lead role. It’s a co-production with the BBC from the writers of Friendsand Mad About You. Sadly, there’s no news yet on who will air it in Australia.

While the schedules are mostly full of returning shows, there are a few newbies worth a look, including Blue Bloods(SCTEN, Wed Feb 9, 8.30pm) – an NYC police drama starring Tom Selleck and Donny Wahlberg, Laid(ABC1, Wed Feb 9, 9.30pm) – a new ABC dramedy about Roo, played by Alison Bell, who thinks she might be causing her exes to die, andAdam Hill in Gordon Street tonight(ABC1, Wed Feb 9, 9.30pm), auntie’s new talk show.

Docos to look out for include Franco Zeffirelli(SBS1, Sat Feb 5, 2.30pm) which looks at the work of the renowned director, Once Upon a Time… Mon Oncle(SBS1, Sat Feb 5, 3.30pm) which follows the life of French comic genius Jacques Tati, Snake Island(Prime, Sat Feb 19) which looks at the wildlife on the island of Niue, The Romantics(ABC2, Sun Feb 13, 8.30pm) – a series about modern imagination, the poets who pioneered an alternative way of living, 6ftHick(ABC2, Wed Feb 16, 9.30pm) which follows one of Australia’s most prolific underground bands as they negotiate the low budget, truly indie way of doing things and The Future of Food(SBS1, Tue Feb 8, 8.30pm) which looks at the growing global food crisis.

Just when you committed to less gluttony and more exercise, a new raft of cooking programs hits the box. Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations(SBS1, Thu, 8.30pm) where the author takes on what must really be the perfect job – touring the world in search of the best dining experience, and Zumbo(SBS1, Thu Feb 17, 7.30pm) about desserts not exercise.

TRACY HEFFERNAN

Blackbox

The launch of SCTEN’s new digital channel, 11, on January 11 (not at 11pm, because that wouldn’t really give you bang for your buck), should have been the biggest news. But it isn’t. Like most of the other networks, SCTEN is yet to decide which of its myriad of new programs will go to air, on which channels and when. There are of course a few exceptions, with TEN stable favourites such as Californication (11, Tue, 10.05pm), Dexter (11, Mon, 9.30pm) and 90210 (11, Fri, 7.30pm) making the move to 11.

It seems that, just like over on Go!, there are theme nights. Wednesday is animation night with Futurama (11, Wed, 8pm), The Simpsons (11, Wed, 8.30pm), The Cleveland Show (11, Wed, 8pm) resurrected from the SKIP bin, Bob’s Burgers (11, Wed, 8pm) – a new animation from Loren Bouchard (Dr Katz) fast-tracked from the US and King of the Hill (11, Wed, 10pm). No sign of Daria on any of the networks yet but fans will be happy to know that a DVD is available on import from the US (and pretty cheaply at the moment too – thanks to the inexplicable forces that decide the exchange rate). Thursday is sci-fi night on 11, which goes a little bit retro, back to when CGI budgets were huge and TV budgets were not – Star Trek Next Generation (11, Thu, 9.30pm) whose storylines and characters loomed larger than its special effects, follows the already discontinued Stargate Universe (11, Thu, 8.30pm), with the Scottish bravado of Robert Carlisle.

The big news though is over at Aunty – starting with the awesome Generation Kill (ABC2, Mon, 9.30pm), a Rolling Stone reporter’s tale of the first Gulf War from the team behind The Wire and starring everybody’s fave vampire Alexander Skarsgård. As much a war drama as The Wire was a cop show. There’s also the much lauded The Tudors (ABC2, Fri, 9.30pm) and Wallace and Gromit’s World of Invention (ABC1, Sun, 6.30pm) in which our favourite clay characters explore the history of inventions.

If you a) didn’t get a Big Day Out ticket, b) are avoiding misdirected bogan pride or c) need a break from the triple j Hottest 100 on Australia Day, chuck a ‘shrimp’ on the barby, grab a cold beer and watch Barry Humphries’ Flashbacks (7TWO, Wed Jan 26, 2pm), Mother of Rock: Lillian Roxon (SBS1, Wed Jan 26, 8.30pm) which follows the Aussie journo who became the queen of infamous NY club Max’s Kansas City, Salute (ABC2, Wed Jan 26, 9.30pm) which chronicles Australian Peter Norman’s involvement in the Black Power salute at the 1968 Olympics and for some fun there’s The Wiggles Australia Day Concert (ABC2, Wed Jan 26, 10am), Australia Celebrates (ABC1, Tue Jan 25, 8.30pm) if you can’t be bothered going to Commonwealth Place and Spicks and Specks Australiana Special (ABC1, Wed Jan 26, 9.30pm).

Elsewhere the Chaser’s CNNNN (7mate, Mon Jan 31, 10.30pm) makes its way onto commercial TV, Xena – Warrior Princess (7mate, Thu Feb 3, 3pm) makes a comeback, there’s a new season of Big Love (SBS1, Wed Feb 2, 8.30pm), Retouches (SBS1, Sat Feb 1, 2.20pm) which is a Canadian animation, Oprah’s Ultimate Australian Adventure (SCTEN, Wed Jan 19 – Fri Jan 21, 7.30pm), 6PM with George Negus (SCTEN, Mon Jan 24, 6pm).

Blackbox

As the party season ramps up, the last thing to worry about while you’re sipping your sixth chocolate martini is whether you remembered to record the 21^st repeat of Big Bang Theory (Go!, Thu, 8.30pm) with the napkin signed by Leonard Nimoy. Fortunately there’s a myriad of places to source them. If you just want to see what happened and don’t care about getting a whole episode at once or the quality there’s always YouTube. ABC’s iView has been providing short term access to streams of aunty’s popular programs for a couple of years now (abc.net.au) as well as downloadable podcasts of its own shows such as this year’s best new Aussie show, Rake (ABC1, Thu, 8.30pm). The SBS folks also post some of their programs (player.sbs.com.au). SCTEN has streams of some of its shows on its site (ten.com.au) as does WIN on its TVfix site (fixplay.ninemsn.com.au) along with shows such as Mad Men and Dr Who that have aired on other networks. Seven does the same (au.tv.yahoo.com/plus7). So if you don’t have internet on the telly yet, send Santa a letter just like Blackbox did. After all lying on the couch is the way the box was meant to be watched.

The extra channels mean this year’s Santa Watch is about to go into overdrive with cartoons for kids and adults alike such as American Dad (Prime, Wed Dec 15, 9pm), The Flintstones, Yogi’s First Christmas, Caper’s First Christmas and Looney Tunes Christmas Tales (Go!, Sat Dec 25, from 9.30), South Park (Go!, Sat Dec 25, 10.25pm).

Those with the Christmas spirit will love Merry Christmas, Mr Bean (ABC2, Thu Dec 23, 9.30pm), Xtras: Xmas 2007 Special (ABC2, Sat Dec 25, 10pm), A Very Specky Christmas (ABC1, Fri Dec 24, 8.30pm and Sat Dec 25, 10am), Catherine Tate: Nan’s Christmas Card (ABC2, Fri Dec 24, 9.30pm), The Vicar of Dibley (Prime, Sun Dec 12, 6.30pm), Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em (7TWO, Mon Dec 13, 7pm), To the Manor Born (7TWO, Tue Dec 14, 7pm), Are You Being Served? (7TWO, Wed Dec 15, 7.30pm), Seinfeld (Go!, Tue Dec 21, 8pm), Bewitched, Married with Children, Just Shoot Me and The Dukes of Hazzard (Go!, Sat Dec 25, from 2pm) and Rockwiz (SBS1, Sat Dec 25, 7.30pm).

The traditionalists haven’t been forgotten with Carols from St Mary’s Cathedral (ABC1, Fri Dec 24, 7.30pm), The Queen’s Christmas Message (ABC1, Sat Dec 25, 7.20pm), The Pope’s Christmas Mass (Sat Dec 25, 11am), Carols in the Domain (Prime, Sat Dec 18, 8.30pm) and It’s a Wonderful Life (ABC1, Sat Dec 18, 8.30pm).

If you’re looking for entertainment while you wrap Auntie Marge’s gift basket there are a plethora of Christmas movies such as Deck the Halls (Go!, Fri Dec 24, 7pm) and Bad Santa (Go!, Fri Dec 24, 9pm) or the food oriented Willie’s Perfect Chocolate Christmas (ABC1, Mon Dec 27, 9.35pm) and Heston Blumenthal’s Perfect Christmas (ABC2, Sun Dec 12, 6pm).

Don’t miss Doctor Who: A Christmas Carol (ABC1, Sun Dec 26, 7.30pm), fast-tracked from the UK, The Whitlams and the Sydney Symphony Orchestra (ABC2, Sun Dec 12, 7.30pm) and The White Stripes: Under Great White Northern Lights (ABC2, Fri Dec 17, 8.30pm).

If you’re over Santa, there’s always the cricket – Boxing Day Test (WIN / GEM, Sun Dec 26, 10.30am), Pete Helliar’s new quiz show The Trophy Room (ABC1, Wed, 8.30pm) or the movies – let Margaret and David tell you how – At the Movies Summer Special (ABC1, Sun Dec 14, 6pm).

TRACY HEFFERNAN

Blackbox

Despite the fact it still feels like winter most days, summer is less than a week away and in TVland that means three things – a mad rush to tie up the good shows, the start of the b-grade summer shows and lots and lots of cricket. In fact Richie and the rest of the Channel 9 commentary team pull off the covers with the first Ashes Test (GEM, Thu Nov 25, 10.30am).

If you can’t wait – FIFA World Cup 2018 and 2022 host announcement (SBS1, Fri Dec 2, 1.55am).

Those addicted to Deadwood (which seems to have dropped from our screens) should check out a classic for comparison – The Man who shot Liberty Valance (ABC2, Sat Dec 11, 8.30pm) with James Stewart, John Wayne and Lee Marvin is a good place to start.

One of the surprises of this year has been The Big C (GEM, Wed, 9.30pm), an engaging dramedy with just the right amount of quirkiness. A cast that includes Laura Linney, Oliver Platt, Gabourey Sidibe and Idris Elba certainly helps. Weeds (GEM, Wed, 10pm) hasn’t fared so well since it took on the Desperate Housewives style of scriptwriting – suspension of disbelief is had when the storyline is ridiculous.

Blackbox mused last fortnight that there was no stone left unturned in the pursuit of observational docos. Blackbox was wrong. SAS: The Search for Warriors (SBS1, Tue Dec 7, 8.30pm) follows SAS hopefuls as they try out for the elite fighting force.

Best non-ratings news so far is that 7Mate is replaying The Shield (7Mate, Mon Dec 6, 9.30pm) from Season 1 and Prime will air the new Jimmy Smits legal drama Outlaw (Prime, Mon Nov 29, 9.30pm). Elsewhere it’s all about docos, travel, music and food… as it should be at this time of year.

The musical brush is broad starting with Blur: No Distance Left to Run (ABC2, Fri Dec 10, 8.30pm) which tells the band’s story and is followed by Blur: Live at Hyde Park (ABC2, Fri Dec 10, 10:05pm), filmed during their 2009 reunion tour. One musically themed show not to miss is Lennon Naked (ABC2, Sun Dec 5, 8.30pm) – a biopic of Lennon’s post-Beatles life starring Christopher Eccleston. There’s also Ladies and Gentlemen: The Rolling Stones 1972 Concert (ABC2, Fri Dec 3, 9.30pm), Live at the Chapel presents Lady Gaga (Go!, Sun Nov 28, 1pm) and Sony Music Special: Jimi Hendrix (Go!, Sun Nov 28, 1.30pm).

For the gastronomes there’s Rene Redzepi’s Noma (SBS1, Thu Nov 25, 7.30pm) which looks at the world’s number one restaurant, Copenhagen’s Noma, Neil Morrissey’s Risky Business (SBS1, Thu Nov 25, 8.30pm) that follows Neil Morrissey on his quest to open a micro brewery, Willie’s Chocolate Revolution (ABC2, Mon Dec 6, 9.30pm) and a second series of Luke Nguyen’s Vietnam (SBS1, Thu Dec 9, 7.30pm).

Those with the travel bug will appreciate High Road, Low Road (Prime, Sat Dec 4, 7pm) which looks at the luxury and budget options for exploring California, Making Tracks (SCTEN, Sat, 4.30pm) which takes us on a tour of Australia, repeats of Great British Journeys (7TWO, Sun Nov 28, 9.45pm) follows the routes of Britain’s explorers, Escape to the Sun (7TWO, Sun Nov 28, 10.45pm) which puts a microscope on Benidorm in Spain.

Best schedule find: Wacky Races (Go!, Sun, 11am) – the original with Dick Dastardly and co.

NCIS (SCTEN, Tue, 8.30pm) fans shouldn’t miss Good News Week (SCTEN, Mon Nov 29, 9.30pm) with Pauly Perrette as guest.

TRACY HEFFERNAN

Blackbox

Lots of the new Australian offerings this year have been a bit of a disappointment – think Cops LAC (WIN, Thu, 9.30pm) – and the tradition of great Aussie dramedy, so beautifully weaving cynicism, humour and quirkiness through the fabric of well written drama, seems to have dropped from our screens. Offspring (SCTEN, Sun, 8.30pm) is better viewing than most but it’s trying to cram too many different ideas and reveals into each character and episode and then just moving on to a new set without exploring the first. There is hope. Rake (ABC1, Thu, 8.30pm) is superb. In a role that seems written for him, the inimitable Richard Roxborough plays a morally bankrupt barrister who doesn’t care about justice but believes in the law. He’s in love with a prostitute, gets relationship advice from his psychologist ex and is being pursued by the tax department. But that’s just the backstory – the characterisations are quirky yet sublime and the dialogue razor sharp. Must watch TV at Chez Blackbox.

Just when you thought they’d run out of ideas for observational docos – William McInnes narrates The Enforcers (WIN, Sun Nov 14, 6.30pm) which follows council rangers. Mary Queen of Shops (GEM, Thu Nov 18, 8.30pm) tries to turn around struggling fashion boutiques. What next? Filming Blackbox watching telly and going to the shop for chocolate?

True Stories (ABC, Wed, 8.30pm) delves into the cinematic realm to discover the real stories that inspired celluloid classics such as The Hunt for Red October, The Bourne Ultimatum, The Exorcist and The Silence of the Lambs. Funny how the truth inspires some of the best films.

There’s some classic cinema coming up including Pink Panther (ABC2, Sat Nov 13, 8.30pm) and The Red Riding Trilogy (SBS1, Tue-Thu Nov 16-18, 10pm).

Conan (GEM, Tue – Fri, 11.30pm), which is being ‘fast tracked’ has some interesting musical guests including Jack White, Soundgarden and Fistful of Mercy.

A Small Act (ABC1, Mon Nov 25, 9.30pm) should be mandatory viewing – it tells the story of just how successful programs to sponsor children in impoverished countries have become. Chris Mburu was a sponsored child. Now a human rights lawyer working for the UN, he has started his own scholarship fund. Powerful stuff. You really can make a difference.

Docos to look out for include an African Journey with Jonathan Dimbleby (ABC1, Tue, 8.30pm), another instalment of Jennifer Byrne presents Graphic Novels with Nicki Greenberg, Bruce Mutard, Eddie Campbell and Sophie Cunningham (ABC1, Tue Nov 16, 10pm), JFK: 3 shots that changed America (SBS1, Tue Nov 23, 10pm) – a two parter, and Manson (SBS1, Sun Nov 14, 9.30pm) which features interviews with key players.

Don’t miss Powderfinger: The Final Odyssey (ABC1, Thu Nov 11, 9.30pm) which includes live and behind the scenes footage of their final tour, and William Shatner’s Weird or What? (SBS1, Mon Nov 15, 7.30pm).

Sci-fi fans who can’t afford the DVD will be happy to hear 7Mate is airing the rest of the final season of Stargate Atlantis (7Mate, Thu Nov 25, 8.30pm).

George Negus fronts his last episode of Dateline (SBS1, Sun Nov 21, 8.30pm).

Best news? The final of X Factor (Prime, Mon Nov 22, 7.30pm). Interestingly the final of Iron Chef Australia (Prime, Tue, 7.30pm) which only just started is slated to air next week.

TRACY HEFFERNAN

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

“The British are coming, the British are coming,” was the infamous cry of the horseman Paul Revere. It appears the Boston blacksmith and sometimes town crier, immortalised in a Beastie Boys tune, was on the money. Sherlock, which aired last week on WIN, was an ambitious contemporary re-imagining of Arthur Conan Doyle’s classic tale. And despite the mini-series style format requiring quite an investment, Chez Blackbox was in its grip. Attention to detail gave just the right balance of 21^st century pace and Victorian sensibility. From the grey tonal production palette to Sherlock running around London’s cobbled streets in a trench coat sending texts on a mobile phone. Despite the same production palette and location, the ultra modern British spy drama Spooks (ABC1, Sat Oct 30, 8.30pm), now in its ninth season in Britain, is very different, yet equally compelling viewing. Aunty is about to air the eighth season here and regular viewers will remember the seventh season ended with Harry kidnapped by Russian agents, following the revelation of a decades old intelligence leak.

The ‘80s have come in for a lot of ridicule over the past few years as ‘80s shows full of bleached perms and overdone blush are re-aired but a similar ‘90s phenomenon is beginning to take shape. You just need to look at Elaine’s long skirts and boots on Seinfeld (Go!, Mon-Fri, 12.30pm and Sat, 3pm) and the dark brown lipstick of all the female Friends (GEM, Mon-Fri, 6.30pm) to see just where this year’s fashion inspiration is coming from.

If you really want to ridicule a classic and much referenced TV fave, tune in to a repeat of the Mythbusters: MacGyver Special (SBS1, Mon Nov 8, 7.30pm).

Docos to look out for include A Ripple of Hope (ABC1, Thu Oct 28, 9.25pm) which looks at Robert F. Kennedy’s decision to continue with an appearance in an African-American neighbourhood on the day Dr Martin Luther King was assassinated, A History of Scotland (SBS1, Sun, 7.30pm), The Lancaster at War (SBS1, Fri Oct 29, 8.30pm) which looks at the bomber’s role in WWII, a new series of Sleek Geeks (ABC1, Thu Nov 11, 8pm) with Adam Spencer and Dr Karl, I, Spry: The Rise and Fall of a Master Spy (ABC1, Thu Nov 4, 9.25pm) about ASIO in the 1950s from the makers of The Prime Minister is Missing, Chevolution (SBS1, Tue Nov 9, 10pm) which explores how a portrait of Che Guevara taken in 1960 has become one of  the most reproduced images in the history of photography, Obama and Me (SBS2, Thu Nov 11, 7.30pm) which follows the lives of six ordinary Americans in the year after Obama was elected and Outrage (SBS1, Tue Nov 2, 10pm) about the movement to ‘out’ gay politicians who campaign against gay rights.

Choose new episodes of The Big Bang Theory (WIN, Wed, 8.30pm) over the much more contrived and unrealistic Beauty and the Geek Australia (Prime, Thu Nov 4, 8.30pm).

If you couldn’t be bothered trick or treating, settle in for Francis Ford Coppola’s Dementia 13 (ABC2, Sat Oct 30, 8.30pm), Agatha Christie’s Poirot: Halloween Party (ABC1, Sun Oct 31, 8.35pm) and Scary Movie (Go!, Sun Oct 31, 9.30pm).

Don’t miss Adam Hills Live: Joymonger and Characterful (ABC2, Thu Oct 28, 9.30pm), the Season 2 final of Mad Men (SBS1, Sun Nov 7, 9.30pm) and The Melbourne Cup (Prime, Tue Nov 2).

TRACY HEFFERNAN

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

Now that the school carnival of the good old British Empire is over, it’s time for a new free-to-air scheduling bonanza… you can just feel the anticipation building in the air as the networks fill their listings with three little letters that cause conniption fits in TV columnists everywhere – TBA. Sure, the scheduling folks don’t want to be gazumped by other networks but if they don’t let the punters know something is on, how do they expect it to rate? With 14 channels to flick through, the odds of random discovery are getting longer. Confirmed returns include Top Gear Australia (WIN, Tue Oct 19, 7.30pm) and Glee (SCTEN, Wed, 7.30pm) and new NCIS (SCTEN, Tue Oct 19, 8.30pm).

Blackbox has a new bipartisan project idea for WIN and Prime – setup a new digi channel – call it Retro and raid the Go! and 7mate archives for our fave ‘70s, ‘80s and early ‘90s TV shows and no, not Hey, Hey It’s Saturday (WIN, Sat Oct 16, 7.30pm) which has thankfully returned to its proper timeslot. Shows such as Starsky and Hutch (Go!, Mon-Fri, 2pm), Miami Vice (7Mate, Tues, 12pm) and Thunderbirds (Go!, Sat Oct 16, 6am). Of course for an authentic viewing experience, you’ll need an old school cathode ray telly and a bean bag.

There are even some retro movies popping up outside of auntie’s Classic Cinema Seasons (ABC2, Sat, 8.30pm) including Goodfellas (Gem, Fri Oct 15, 8.30pm), Police Academy (Go!, Fri Oct 15, 9.30pm) and Jaws (SCTEN, Sat Oct 23, 8.45pm).

One thing is certain in the new digital paradigm, food is the new lifestyle/reality topic du jour – SCTEN has been banging on for weeks with ads for Junior Masterchef (SCTEN, Sun, Mon, 7.30pm) and WIN will topple the BMA server if they don’t stop putting out media releases about the impending arrival of Iron Chef Australia (WIN, TBA).

Of course there is some non-foodie fare, including Keeping up with the Joneses (SCTEN, Thu Oct 14, 9pm) – a kind of claytons Aussie equivalent of Keeping up with the Kardashians (Prime, Tue, 10.30pm) when you can’t get the Irwins.

Sure The Bill (ABC1, Sat, 8.30pm) lost all relevance once it became a soap opera for the blue rinse set but once upon a time it was a witty and engaging low budget drama about the conmen and garden variety criminals of London. Fans from those days may want to give Farewell The Bill (ABC1, Sat Oct 23, 8.30pm) a look.

Docos this fortnight include Cleopatra, Portrait of a Killer (ABC1, Thu Oct 21, 9.30pm), Kevin McCloud Slumming It (ABC1, Tue Oct 26, 8.30pm) which takes Kevin, of Grand Designs fame, to Mumbai’s slums, Tibetan Eldorado (ABC1, Thu Oct 28, 8.30pm) which looks at a rare Tibetan animal-plant, prized by Asian pharmaceutical companies as the Viagra of the Himalayas, A History of Scotland (SBS1, Sun Oct 24, 7.30pm), The Virtual Revolution (SBS1, Tue Oct 26, 8.30pm) which marks 20 years of the webiverse.

Other stuff to catch – Rockwiz on the Road (SBS1, Sat Oct 16, 9.20pm), the season final of Deadwood (ABC2, Tue Oct 19, 9.30pm) and Sherlock (WIN, Sun Oct 17, 8.30pm).

If you have a really good road trip story that deserves to be in Wide Open Road, the new doco series from the makers of Long Way to the Top, visit abc.net.au/tv/wideopenroad.

TRACY HEFFERNAN

Blackbox

Just when you thought you wouldn’t have to touch the set top box for a while, WIN launches its new channel, GEM. Like 7Mate it’s pitched at a fairly specific demographic – 35+ women. Apparently Gen X must be more fond of a night in, curled up in front of the telly than out at a show – this may come as news to the rapidly expanding touring schedule also squarely pitched at the slacker generation (Pixies, Smashing Pumpkins…). Having said that, GEM features quite a few ‘90s classics such as Friends (GEM, Mon-Fri, 6.30pm), a plethora of reality shows such as Holiday Showdown (GEM, Fri, 8pm) and a smattering of new shows, the most notable of which is The Big C (GEM, Wed Sep 29, 9.30pm) a comedy about dealing with cancer – Showtime quality, not Hallmark.

The folks at SCTEN won’t be launching their new channel, 11, until next year. In the meantime, budding screenwriters and doco makers will have the chance to get their series and special ideas on air with the Eleven out of Ten development initiative. You need to write a three-page pitch outline of your idea and submit an entry form by Friday October 15. Details at http://conference.spaa.org.au

The 7Mate schedule is shaping up nicely with the inclusion of some classic ‘70s fare with the likes of The A Team (7Mate, Sun, 5pm) with Mr T and Knight Rider (7Mate, Sun, 4pm) with The Hoff. Blackbox is still waiting for Logan’s Run and Blake’s 7. The pick of their new shows is Caprica (7Mate, Thu, 9.30pm), the prequel to Battlestar Galactica.

Fans of The Wire won’t want to miss Luther (ABC1, Fri Oct 15, 8.30pm), a psychological thriller starring Idris Elba (Stringer Bell) as a tormented detective.

September/October means sport and with that heralding a telly phenomenon waaaaay older than BMA – the program tie in. There hasn’t been a locally produced show on Prime or WIN that hasn’t has a footy finals tie-in. There’s even been a news tie-in with the Saints and Pies draw. And it doesn’t stop there. The Bathurst 1000 (Prime, Sun Oct 10, 7.30am) has Better Homes and Gardens – The Fast Show (Prime, Fri Oct 8, 7.30pm) and The Commonwealth Games (SCTEN, One Sun Oct 3-Thu Oct14, from 12pm daily) has Learn India with Hamish and Andy (SCTEN, Sun Oct 3, 7.30pm).

Don’t miss Pure Pwange (ABC2, Mon Oct 4, 9.05pm) a mockumentary about Jeremy aka the_pwnerer, an obsessive video gamer.

With the 50^th anniversary of JFK’s election as US president, expect to see quite a few docos and other conspiracy-related fare about what happened in the book depository, including Virtual JFK: Vietnam if JFK Had Lived (SBS1, Tue Oct 12, 10pm) and the movie JFK: Complete and Uncut (GEM, Sat Oct 9, 8.30pm).

Docos to look out for include Dawn Porter: Extreme Wife (Prime, Tue Oct 5, 11pm), which starts with mail order brides, The Great Escape: China’s Long March (ABC1, Thu Oct 14, 9.30pm) and Tank on the Moon (ABC1, Thu Oct 7, 9.30pm).

Other stuff to put on your radar – new seasons of Supersizers Go… (SBS1, Thu Oct 7, 8.30pm) starting with …‘80s and …Medieval, The Librarians (ABC1, Wed, 8.30pm), The IT Crowd (ABC1, Wed Oct 6, 9pm), Dylan Moran: Like Totally (ABC2, Thu Oct 14, 9.30pm), and Rude Boy Food (ABC2, Fri Oct 8, 6pm) with tips on West Indian cookery.

Best Movie Line Up of the Month: Go, Friday October 8 – Scooby-Doo and the Alien Invaders (6pm), Kangaroo Jack (7.30pm – so bad it’s good), Little Shop of Horrors (9.20pm – so good it’s bad) and Helter Skelter (11.20pm – just bad)… and if you’re still up Star Trek Deep Space Nine (2am) [as the father said to his newborn – that’s a lot of poo in one night – Bossman]

Blackbox

Prime’s fourth digi channel, 7mate (ch63) launches on September 25 with the AFL Grand Final. If you can get past the stupid name and even more ridiculous promo, you’ll find a pretty decent line-up.

Sure, the schedule’s not littered with chick flicks but Blackbox is pretty sure those of us ‘burdened’ by two X chromosomes will feature quite heavily amongst the Family Guy audience. And the audience for Jersey Shore. And The Situation is just as funny to those of us who sit down to pee. Other shows slated for the bloke’s channel, but not yet scheduled, include American Dad, Last Comic Standing, Crank Yankers, Stargate Atlantis; sci-fi series Caprica; adventure series Warehouse 13 and Fifth Gear; factual series such as Life After People, The Boneyard, Ax Man, Mega Moves, Mega Structures; and observational doco cult classic Pawn Stars (yes that p-a-w-n – the shops that give you money for your useless junk). Even some of the more blokey reality fare may attract the women. After all, who doesn’t want to see just what all the fuss over Monster Garage’s Jesse James is about? So far the confirmed line-up consists of Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels (7mate, Sat Sep 25, 6.30pm) having a crack at being another Osbournes but the star (and his family) aren’t quite as loopy, and Punk’d (7mate, Sat Sep 25, 8.30pm). So now we’ve got a channel for the blokes, two channels for foreign movie buffs, two kids’ channels, a news channel, a sports channel, two channels aimed squarely at Gen X-Y (Go!, ABC2) and a channel for old people (7TWO). What we’re missing is a quality drama channel (HBO and Showtime hybrid for free?) and a sci-fi channel. Of course what we’ll likely get is more sport and crappy movies.

If you’ve got a regular telly instead of a swanky new plasma that you can’t fit in the loungeroom, and your furniture is the outcasts from mum’s garage, you may just think you’ve stepped out of a tardis and into the ‘80s this week. Stop. Rewind (ABC2, Wed Sep 21, 6pm) takes us on a journey through the ‘80s imagining of the future; Heston’s 80s Feast (SBS1, Thu Sep 23, 8.30pm) uses all the ‘80s kitchen gadgetry, and Spicks and Specks (ABC1, Wed Sep 22, 8.30pm) does Australiana.

Things are getting even worse with Iron Chef Australia – the network has announced Grant Denyer as host. Surely one of the out-of-character Chaser boys (or even the human cravat Matt Preston) would be more likely to create the required theatrics.

Finally, a job for the chic-chic boom girl – as part of the scamming team on The Real Hustle (WIN, Tue, 9pm) hosted by Gyton Grantley while he waits for a real acting job.

Other new shows include October Road (7TWO, Mon Sep 20, 9.30pm) which follows an author’s re-entry problems when he returns to his home town after a ten-year absence; Hellcats (Go!, Mon, 7.30pm), the cheerleader comedy drifting in on the sequined coat tails of Glee; La La Land (SBS1, Mon, 11pm) a mockumentary about an aspiring actor, a psychic and a doco maker in LA; and The Genius of Design (ABC1, Tue Sep 21, 6pm).

Don’t miss repeats of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (Go!, Wed 12am, 1pm, Sat 2.30am), Thunderbirds (Go!, Sat, Sun 6am), the original Logan’s Run movie (Go!, Sat Sep 25, 11pm) – hopefully the original series isn’t far off – and the new series of Shameless (SBS1, Mon, 10pm).

Cops LAC (WIN, Wed, 8.30pm) is the disappointment of the year – as bland and paint-by-numbers as its title.

Remember – the Brownlow Medal Count (SCTEN, Mon Sep 20, 11.45pm) is for fans only.

Blackbox

The travel/cooking show, Blackbox’s personal fave, is ubiquitous this season. Jamie Oliver, the socially conscience man who’s shown American school teachers and ‘pie and chips men’ how to cook, is about to embark on Jamie’s Food Escapes (SCTEN, Fri, 7.30pm). He joins a schedule packed with galloping gourmets including Made in Spain with Jose Andres (SBS1, Wed Sep 1, 6.30pm), Food Trip With Todd English (SBS1, Thu Sep 2, 6.30pm), Taste Takes Off with Peta Mathias (SBS1, Fri Sep 3, 6.30pm), Food Safari (SBS1, Thu Sep 2, 7.30pm), Annabel Langbein: The Free Range Cook (ABC1, Sat Sep 4, 6pm) and Luke Nguyen’s Vietnam (SBS1, Thu Sep 2, 8pm).

In the end though, nothing can beat the pure theatre of Iron Chef (SBS1, Sat, 8.30pm), the Japanese one of course. The American version a few years back was a disaster because the gravitas of a kitchen stadium challenge is best experienced in a Japanese context with some kind of urchin as the theme ingredient – even the comic genius of host William Shatner couldn’t prevent a flop. Unfortunately such news seems to have been lost on the network execs at prime. Iron Chef Australia (Prime, TBA), featuring Neil Perry, Guy Grossi and Guillaume Brahimi is slated to launch soon.

There is some good news this week though with the start of the new season of Breaking Bad (ABC2, Fri Sep 3, 9.30pm) and the post-election return of United States of Tara (ABC1, Wed Sep 1, 8.30pm).

Among the new shows on the box over the next couple of weeks you’ll find Horne and Corne (ABC2, Thu Sep 2, 9pm) a sketch comedy starring the two guys from Gavin and Stacey which looks much funnier than that show partly set in the (caretaker) PM’s hometown; Gary: Tank Commander (ABC2, Thu Sep 2, 9.30pm) a six-part British dramedy about a returned soldier from Iraq adjusting to life in the barracks; Keeping Up with the Kardashians (Prime, Thu, 10.30pm) the ultimate in trashy US celeb observational docos (at least since Osbournes gave up); Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow (ABC1, Sat Sep 18, 9.20pm) and Parking Wars (Prime, Mon, 10.30pm) – US car chases have nothing on the stupidity of people taking on parking inspectors; it’s a hoot!

Docos to look out for include Silesia Strips (SBS1, Fri Sep 3, 10pm) about a Polish coal mining area where teenage girls strip to earn an income; The Music Instinct: Science & Song (ABC1, Thu Sep 2, 9.35pm); Life: Creatures of the Deep (ABC1, Sun Sep 12, 7.30pm); Seven Ages of Britain (ABC1, Sep 7, Tue 8.30pm), and Artscape: Obsessed with Walking (ABC1, Tue Sep 14, 10pm) in which cultural provocateur Will Self wanders through LA’s suburbs on a 120 mile trek from LAX to Hollywood.

Auntie is taking its iView responsibilities seriously with another exclusive – the new cult doco The Vice Guide to Film (iView, Mon Aug 30). Eps include a visit to Kim Jong Il’s film studio and the Narco Cinema funded by Mexico’s drug lords. Increase your bandwith now.

Anyone who’s ever done an Outward Bound course should pencil in The Goodies – Way Outward Bound (ABC2, Mon Sep 6, 8.05pm). And don’t miss The Kirk Douglas Season which starts with Spartacus (ABC2, Sat Sep 11, 8.30pm) or series two of Mad Men (SBS1, Sun, 8.30pm). Avoid: X-Factor (Prime, Mon –Thu, 7.30pm). Kyle Sandilands coming at ya four nights a week… aaaaaaagh.

Blackbox

The monster that ate Canberra is about to make another appearance. Although this time it’s not pink and will be followed by more cameras and mobile TV recording units than anyone has ever seen. Yep, that’s right, the election road show is about to roll into town. And if you’re not a big enough political geek to stand in line on a Canbrrrr-a winter night to get into the National Tally Room, the expanded digital networks have plenty of coverage for you.

If you want your coverage with a bit of the everyman edge served up with a smattering of political commentary, try Election 2010: Australia Decides (WIN, Sat Aug 21, 5pm) with Karl Stefanovic, Lisa Wilkinson and Laurie Oakes (and hopefully not Mark Latham). Your Call 2010 (Prime, Sat Aug 21, 6.30pm), continues the same theme with Sunrise all-stars Kochie, Mel and Mark Riley.

Over at Auntie, the election is pretty much the only show in town and you can see the whole thing in HD, complete with the Antony Green whip around the seats with the simulcast of Federal Election 2010 (ABC1, Sat Aug 21, 6pm). SBS are leaving things until closer to the result with World News Australia Election special (SBS1, Sat Aug 21, 8.30pm), and over at Southern Cross TEN they’re starting early with National Election Special (SCTEN, Sat Aug 21, 5.30pm), followed by the only light look at things with The Election Project (SCTEN, Sat Aug 21, 6pm), and then (predictably) Southern Cross TEN bows out and takes viewers to AFL (SCTEN, Sat Aug 21, 6.30pm) to be exact.

The big change from last election is the choice for those who just want to wake up in the morning (or next week) and see who won. Apart from the HD channels, the networks have left their secondary airwaves clear of political palaver. The best of the rest includes Once Upon a Time in the West (ABC2, Sat Aug 21, 8.30pm), Blast From the Past (Go!, Sat Aug 21, 6pm) and Wedding Crashers (Go!, Sat Aug 21, 8.30pm).

If you’ve always wanted to be a TV star and travel around the world, well here’s your chance! Applications for The Amazing Race Australia http://au.tv.yahoo.com/the-amazing-race/ are now open, but will close Monday, September 6, so hurry. If you’re really desperate to be on telly, and you can’t sing, juggle or travel, there’s a new dating show on Prime. Apply here if you must: http://www.datingshowgranadamedia.com.au/ but Blackbox recommends The Amazing Race Australia. People you like are more likely to watch.

Offspring (SCTEN, Sun, 8.30pm) is the latest offering from Secret Life of Us, Love My Way and Rush creator John Edwards. Sure, there’s not a lot of action but it is witty and insightful and worth a watch.

Also new this week is spy drama Covert Affairs (Prime, Mon, 9.30pm). Not a perfect one, despite its production links to the Bourne Trilogy, but it’s a genre that’s been missing for quite a while.

Some favourites return to screens in the next few week too: Breaking Bad (ABC2, Fri Sep 3, 9.30pm), The IT Crowd (ABC1, Fri 10.15pm) and, following the post-election end of Yes We Canberra (ABC1, Wed Aug 25, 9.30pm), United States of Tara (ABC1, Wed Sep 1, 9.30pm).

Docos to look out for include Visions of the Future (ABC1, Thu Aug 26, 8.30pm), The Music Instinct: Science and Song (ABC1, Thu Aug 26, 9.35pm) and Daredevils: The Flying Car (ABC2, Wed Aug 25, 8.30pm).

Don’t forget to watch the new season of Heston’s Feasts (SBS1, Thu Aug 24, 8.30pm) which begins with recreating Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Oompa Loompas and chocolate waterfalls here we come.

Blackbox

Here at Chez Blackbox we love the hoopla and theatre of a federal election campaign; the brief period every few years when everybody wants to speak to the politically astute woman’s crumpet, ABC numbers man Antony Green. But this year, despite our first woman PM, a budgie smuggler wearing opposition leader, and a much happier looking anti-logging warrior, it’s been pretty boring television. Until Wil Anderson and The Chaser got involved. Auntie’s regular Wednesday night line-up is on hold for the election but don’t fret, Spicks and Specks (ABC1, Wed, 8.30pm) remains (with a Eurotrash special August 19). It’s followed by a new incarnation of The Gruen Transfer – Gruen Nation (ABC1, Wed, 9pm) which reviews political advertising past and present with the regulars plus a mix of political campaign specialists, political commentators and ex-pollies. John Hewson was very frank on the first show. It’s followed by Yes We Canberra! (ABC1, Wed, 9.45pm), the Chaser’s latest election incarnation which serves as a warm up act for Tony Jones (wearing his Lateline hat). The first episode even garnered them an election scoop – the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons candidate revealed that he’ll be running as an independent. The re-imagined Angry Angus ad is worth the visit to iview alone.

Speaking of comics, Jennifer Byrne Presents: Graphic Novels (ABC1, Tue Aug 10, 10.05pm) is the latest in the genre series. Guests include Nicki Greenberg, Bruce Mustard and Eddie Campbell.

Australia may not have won the World Cup [or got remotely near – AL] but the attention has meant The World Game (SBS2, Mon, 9.30pm) has graduated to panel show format reviewing the weekend games from the A League and across the world. Yet the same question remains – just what nationality is Les Murray (with apologies to TISM)?

The end of Le Tour de France has heralded new seasons of several SBS faves – Mad Men (SBS1, Sun Aug 15, 9.30pm) Man vs Wild (SBS1, Mon Aug 16, 8.30pm) and Heston’s Feasts (SBS1, Thu Aug 19, 8.30pm). Also back is Rush (SCTEN, Thu, 8.30pm), Burn Notice (SCTEN, Thu, 9.30pm) and Talkin’ ‘Bout Your Generation (SCTEN, Sun, 7.30pm).

Lovers of mysteries would be well advised to check out The Prisoner (ABC1, Sat, 9.20pm). It’s one of a series of interesting BBC dramas over the next few weeks including Criminal Justice (ABC1, Sun Aug 15, 8.30pm) about a woman accused of attempting to murder her husband.

Docos to check out include Anatomy of a Massacre (ABC1, Thu Aug 12, 9.30pm) about East Timor, Rituals: Around the World in 80 Faiths (SBS1, Fri Aug 20, 7.30pm) which looks at, amongst other things, sacrifices by Voodoo priests and an Australian Indigenous dance, Paparazzi: Next Generation (ABC2, Wed Aug 18, 8.30pm) about the new breed of paps – watch closely for your chance to pursue a career with TMZ, Five Weddings, Five Funerals (ABC2, Wed Aug 18, 9.30pm) about The Black Widow, Betty Neumar.

If you haven’t yet caught The Making of Modern Australia (ABC1, Thu, 8.30pm) make sure you do – it’s a great mix of archival footage and Australian Story style interviews hung together by the dulcet tones of William McInnes.

The Goodies (ABC1, Mon, 8.05pm) has some classics coming up – Blackbox fave The Winter Olympics (Aug 16) gives hope to slothful couch campers everywhere that a good massage can make up for years of no exercise.

Chez Blackbox is now enjoying round the clock ABC News 24 in HD and counting the crow’s feet on Kerry O’Brien. I bet every ABC journo is wishing for a return to old technology right about now.

Blackbox

Once upon a time in a galaxy not so far, far away, ABC was really the only station you actually needed. Auntie’s schedules were overflowing with the best English comedy (Fawlty Towers, The Young Ones and Ab Fab), homegrown hilarity (Australia You’re Standing In It) and it was the home of sci-fi (Dr Who, Blake’s 7), anime (G-Force) and other Asian treats (Monkey). In the early ‘90s the Americans learnt how to do quirky and the local commercial networks were overflowing (Seinfeld, Star Trek Next Generation, X-Files, Twin Peaks). A few years ago when everything headed for pay TV land, Chez Blackbox took an egalitarian stance and waited patiently for a return on the 8c a day investment in our national broadcaster. And it’s come back in spades. In fact, as this week’s schedule proves, you could almost stick with Auntie’s four channels (except for Big Bang Theory [WIN, Mon, 8pm and Go, Sun, 7.40pm and Thu, 8.40pm]). So here are Blackbox’s Top 5 reasons to watch Auntie:

1. The best of HBO – now that the commercial networks are passing on shows already aired on Pay TV, Auntie is running entire HBO series, without interruption or ads. The latest is the fabulous Deadwood (ABC2, Tue Aug 1, 9.30pm) filling the vacuum left by The Wire. Hopefully the ABC’s letter writers are tucked safely in bed by the time it hits screens as Auntie’s usual language warning will need to be on steroids.

2. A finger that’s really on the pulse – Jennifer Byrne Presents: Graphic Novels (ABC1, Tue Aug 10, 10.05pm), The Botany of Desire (ABC1, Thu, 9.30pm) which looks at our fave plants from marijuana to potatoes.

3. The best travel (and adventure) docos – Three Men Go to Ireland (ABC1, Tue Aug 3, 6pm) which follows British comedians Griff Rhys Jones, Dara O’Briain and Rory McGrath on a trek across Ireland, Nicholas Crane’s Britannia (ABC2, Tue, 8.30pm), The Trail of Genghis Khan (ABC2, Wed Jul 28, 8.30pm) which follows Tim Cope across the Eurasian steppe from Mongolia to Hungary.

3. ABC News 24 launches this week – make sure your TV (or set top box) is HD though – Auntie, not quite totally egalitarian when it comes to news.

4. Comedy old and new – The Goodies (ABC2, Mon, 8pm) and the Chaser election series Yes We Canberra! (ABC1, Wed, 9.45pm).

5. iView – if you miss any of the best programs, you can watch them at your leisure.

Elsewhere there’s the fourth series of Skins (SBS1, Mon Jul 26, 10pm), the return of Entourage (SBS1, Mon Jul 26, 10.55pm), new episodes of Man vs Wild (SBS1, Mon Aug 2, 8.30pm) and a new season of Rules of Engagement (SCTEN, Sun Jul 25, 7pm).

Docos to check out include Dateline: Mothers Against Paco (SBS1, Sun Aug 1, 8.30pm) about Paco, a drug made from the waste of cocaine production, Dateline: Bee Prepared (SBS1, Sun Jul 25, 8.30pm) about the move to allow beekeeping in New York City, Roll In Babies (ABC2, Wed Aug 4, 9.30pm) – a making of doco about the roller skating babies ad that went crazy on YouTube and I Know What I Saw (ABC2, Wed Jul 28, 9.30pm).

Finally there’s a reason to watch (or record) Better Homes and Gardens (Prime, Fri Jul 23, 7.30pm) as they take a retro approach to decorating (although some of the tips are more ‘80s retro, which is a bit disturbing). The key though is Dr Harry’s spot on retro pets which includes ant farms and sea monkeys.

Don’t miss Review with Myles Barlow (ABC2, Thu Aug 5, 9.30pm) which covers the topic Killing Kyle Sandilands. ‘Nuff said.

TRACY HEFFERNAN

Blackbox

Last year’s surprise hit, The Gruen Transfer (ABC1, Wed, 9pm) slipped quietly back to our screens a couple of weeks back and it’s lost none of its wit. Last week’s Pitch for a campaign to justify Western Australia leaving the Commonwealth was a corker. Blackbox is lobbying for the bogan-proof fence. See it here if you missed it: http://www.abc.net.au/tv/gruentransfer/thepitch.

Ever noticed that a French accent seems to increase the superiority factor? So it is with much lauded designer Philippe Starck on his very own reality series Design for Life (ABC2, Wed, 8.30pm). He may be the most recognised designer in the world (and second only to architects in a sense of worth to the world), but when Starck screws up his face, shrugs at the contestants’ work and in his thick French accent says “it’s, for me…” you feel their hearts sink. Mind you, at Chez Blackbox there has been quite a bit of yelling at the stupidity of some of the contestants but without the French overtones…

This week Rosso embarked on his first free to air solo vehicle since the big Merrick and Rosso split. It’s called Australia Versus (Prime, Tue, 9.30pm) and is a comedy debate between Australian comedians and the international counterparts (well Ireland, England and the US, many of whom already reside in Australia). Each show has a different topic (this week’s is music) and a number of rounds – wildest festival, hottest boy band, best karaoke song (which will no doubt feature that Aussie fave Khe Sanh). Sounds a bit indulgent but so did Thank God You’re Here…

Just when you thought observational documentary couldn’t get any weirder… The Undercover Princes (ABC2, Wed Jul 21, 8.30pm) follows three bona fide princes (from India, Sri Lanka and South Africa) as they go undercover in Brighton, UK to find Ms Right (and learn how to do their own chores).

The biggest treat this week is for Mighty Boosh fans – The Mighty Boosh: A Journey Through Time and Space (SBS1, Mon Jul 12, 10pm). Noel and Julian tell the story behind The Mighty Boosh, visiting important places such as the studio where the radio show was recorded, which is now an organic supermarket.

Finally a documentary that goes beyond convicts and the ANZAC spirit to look at what shaped the Australia we live in. The Making of Modern Australia (ABC1, Thu Jul 22, 8.30pm) is a four part look at post-war history in Australia, from the childhoods of today’s baby boomers to the national obsession with owning a house. Narrated by William McInness and supported by interviews and archival material.

Other docos to check out include Life (ABC1, Sun Jul 25, 7.30pm) which boasts stunning nature visuals narrated by David Attenborough, A Good Man (ABC1, Thu Jul 22, 9.30pm) which follows sheep farmer, carer and brothel owner Chris Rohelach, Infinite Space: The Architecture of John Lautner (ABC2, Sun Jul 11, 7.30pm), The Volcano that Stopped the World (ABC1, Thu Jul 15, 9.30pm – yes, that one) and Great Cities of the World with Griff Rhys Jones (ABC1, Tue, 8.30pm – Sydney Jul 13 and Hong Kong Jul 20).

Sports fanatics should stay tuned to SBS with the FIFA World Cup Final (SBS1, Mon Jul 12, 3.30am) which, for the second time in a row, is likely to feature the team that was Australia’s undoing, and the Tour De France (SBS1, live nightly 10pm, highlights nightly 6pm, updates daily 7.30am).

Fanatics can watch a repeat screening of the Lost finale (7TWO, Fri Jul 16, 11.40pm) with… wait for it… special pop up facts.

TRACY HEFFERNAN

Blackbox

As the whole country once again catches World Cup Fever – the PM will be watching in the Lodge rather than at UC – most of the networks are keeping a low profile, pulling new run episodes, and generally biding their time until the whole shebang is over (or at least until Australia makes an exit). Except for auntie of course. Our friends at the ABC have cleverly worked out that most of the action will take place at 4am (or at least not before 9pm), leaving the primetime schedule up for grabs. Sure Santo, Sam and Ed’s Cup Fever (SBS1, daily, 8.30pm) is entertaining and while it will probably take a while to hit its stride, at this point it’s no Roy and HG.

Auntie is using the gap in new scheduling to air the new season of United States of Tara (ABC1, Wed Jun 23, 9.30pm) and the second season of supernatural share house drama Being Human (ABC2, Fri Jun 18, 8.30pm) and introduce new shows such as US comedy 10 Items or Less (ABC2, Mon Jun 21, 8pm) and the BBC’s Lunch Monkeys (ABC2, Mon Jun 28, 9pm) – a sitcom about a bunch of surly school leavers in their first job at a law firm.

Prime too has taken the opportunity to repopulate its schedule, bringing back interrupted series such as Russell Brand’s Ponderland (Prime, Sun, 11.30pm).

Hung (Prime, Mon Jun 21, 9.30pm), the latest effort from Sideways creator Alexander Payne, is about a high school basketball coach who decides to become a gigolo when he falls on hard times. The plot sounds a bit preposterous and despite the obvious entendres, the show is well-acted and charming.

The HBO series are coming thick and fast with The Black Donnellys (7TWO, Wed Jun 23, 11.30pm) also making it to our screens. The NYC Irish mobster drama is thoroughly watchable – a different slant on the Italian crime bosses vs Irish cops story – and deserves a better timeslot. The only question left is will an Australian network ever air either Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (which was replaced by The Black Donnellys) or Brotherhood, the superior Irish mob show set in Providence, Rhode Island?

Not content to end the crime doco wars with WIN’s ridiculous Australian Families of Crime (WIN, Tue, 9.30pm), Prime has upped the anti with Police Under Fire (Prime, Wed Jun 23, 8.30pm) which allows them to once again roll out the Brendon Abbott story. At least WIN has the excuse of cross promotion for Underbelly (WIN, Sun, 8.30pm).

There is, thankfully, a raft of other docos to choose from including Blood Sweat and Gears (SBS1, Thu Jul 1, 10pm) to get you ready for the start of Le Tour de France on Sunday July 4, The End of the Rainbow (ABC2, Sun Jun 27, 7.30pm) which follows the closure of a music-friendly pub in Fitzroy, Bikini Revolution (SBS1, Sat Jun 26, 8.30pm) about its history, and if you really want a crime doco, The Artful Codgers (ABC2, Sun Jun 20, 7.30pm) is about a pair of geriatric art forgers.

Gluttons should check out Dinner in a Box with Curtis Stone (7TWO, Fri, 5.30pm), My Family Feast (SBS1, Thu Jun 24, 7.30pm), Oz and James Drink to Britain (SBS1, Thu Jun 24, 8pm), Delish (SBS1, Fri, 7pm) and Supersizers Eat… (SBS1, Thu Jun 24, 8.30pm), which looks at dining culture of the recent past.

Old British comedians don’t die, they just host travel docos. Cities of the World with Griff Rhys Jones (ABC1, Tue, 8.30pm) is the latest.

Those who committed will want to know about the series final of Flashforward (Prime, Thu Jun 24, 11.30pm). If Blackbox had a guarantee it would be one season and the storyline would actually get tied up, it may have been worth the investment…

TRACY HEFFERNAN

Blackbox

Stock the fridge with Red Bull or clean out that espresso pot that’s been festering on the kitchen bench. The Football World Cup, the one with the round ball that’s the world’s biggest sporting event, kicks off with the Opening Ceremony (SBS1, Fri Jun 11, 10pm). Then it’s a couple of days’ wait for Australia vs Germany (SBS1, Mon Jun 14, 4.30am). If you’re a World Cup novice, grab a FIFA-loving friend, learn the rules and pick an underdog to cheer for when Australia’s not playing. Chez Blackbox will be cheering on Nigeria. Definitely not New Zealand, whose appearance somehow makes a World Cup berth seem much less impressive. Now that the World Cup has become something we actually have a chance of winning, the broadcast has gone Olympics-style complete with The World Cup Show (SBS1, daily from Fri Jun 11, 9pm) hosted by the subject of the ‘90s TISM tune What Nationality is Les Murray?. And Working Dog has come up with its own World Cup version of The Dream – Santo, Sam and Ed’s Cup Fever (daily from Fri Jun 11, 8.30pm). No doubt a brainstorm from soccer tragic Santo Cilauro, it also stars Ed Kavalee and Sam Peng. For uber fans, there will be a 3D broadcast available but you will have to a) shell out more money for a 3D TV than a flight to Johannesburg would cost and b) move to Sydney as Canberra has once again been overlooked.

Political thrillers are all the rage at the moment. The latest – Midnight Man (ABC1, Fri May 28, 8.30pm) – brings the fantastic James Nesbitt back to Auntie’s Friday night crime slot. While probably not his greatest offering to date, Nesbitt is a good choice for the eccentric ex-muckraking journalist, embroiled in an international conspiracy and afraid of daylight. What this really has to do with the story (apart from intrigue the vampire-obsessed to tune in) is not quite apparent.

The Riches (7TWO, Wed Jun 2, 10.30pm) is the latest high quality US drama to appear quietly on one of Australia’s commercial networks. Starring Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver as a pair of grifters, the show is about how they, along with their children, take over the lives of a well off suburban family. We can only hope it doesn’t disappear later into the schedule only to be rescued by Auntie in five years time.

Other new offerings include Misfits (ABC2, Mon Jun 7, 9.30pm) about a group of teenagers with newly acquired and unwanted superpowers and 30 Seconds (ABC2, Fri Jun 11, 10.05pm) – a satirical drama set in the advertising world.

Docos to look out for include the series The American Future (ABC1, Thu May 27, 9.30pm) which looks to history to put modern America in context, Albino United (SBS1, Thu Jun 10, 8.30pm) about albinos in Tanzania, murdered or disfigured for witchdoctors, Art from The Arctic (ABC2, Sun Jun 6, 8.30pm) which follows 20 artists on an expedition to Spitzbergen in the Arctic circle, Leaving the Cult (ABC1, Wed Jun 2, 8.30pm) and Being Human: Unearthed (ABC2, Fri Jun 11, 8.30pm) which goes behind the scenes of the nocturnal series.

The latest reality show is a must watch for designers – Design for Life (ABC2, Wed Jun 2, 8.30pm) with a job with Philippe Starck up for grabs. For the uninitiated, he’s the Donald of the design world.

If you’ve always dreamed about being humiliated on television, auditions for the second series of Beauty and the Geek are happening in Sydney on Saturday June 5. Check out www.yahoo7.com.au/beautyandthegeek for details.

Beauty and the Geek US (7TWO, Wed Jun 2, 7.30pm) is the first of a run of new shows on 7TWO that also includes new Knightrider (7TWO, Wed May 26, 8.30pm) which pales in comparison next to the cult value of the Hoff version.

The network is also trying to put in their bid for purveyors of the new Australian pastime – cooking. Dinner in a Box with Curtis Stone (7TWO, Fri Jun 4, 5.30pm) has a complete dinner party in every ep while Delish (7TWO, Fri, 7pm) shows you how to use what you grow (and there’s tips on that too).

Don’t forget the Eurovision Final (SBS1, Sun May 30, 7.30pm).

Tracy Heffernan

Blackbox

Stone the flamin’ crows – the TV Gold Logie should be renamed the ‘old bastard left standing’ award. It wasn’t enough that last year’s ‘top Australian television award’ (if you don’t count the AFIs) went to Harold Bishop, this one had to go to rival network old bastard Alf. Let’s face it – it’s the characters rather than the actors getting the votes of the square-eyed TV Week readers (and network publicists). Next year Blackbox intends to mount a grassroots campaign to give the Gold Logie to B1, so get voting forms now.

Speaking of ballots, it’s time for Eurovision – Semi Finals (SBS1, Fri May 28 and Sat May 29, 7.30pm) and Finals (SBS1, Sun May 30, 7.30pm). Polish the fondue pot and get your eurotrash on. Sure, your vote won’t count but a lucky sweep pick could just make up for that. Get prepared early with A-Z of Eurovision (SBS1, Sat May 22, 8.30pm).

And yes Lost (Prime, Wed May 26, 8.30pm) is about to get a bump in its ratings with the last episode ever. The ep airs in the US on Sun May 23 so there is plenty of opportunity to log on and find an abridged version if you can’t be bothered with the movie length finale. If you’re a true tragic, tune in to the Lost Special: The Final Journey (Prime, Wed May 26, 12pm) which looks into the many theories about what’s going on. Let’s just hope a movie exec bereft of ideas doesn’t decide to turn it into a film in a decade or two.

The much promoed Modern Family (SCTEN, Tue May 18, 8pm) starts this week, and schedules are moving around all over the place – 30 Rock (Prime, Sun May 16, 11pm) shifts to Sundays with double eps, the disappointing V (WIN, Sun, 10.30pm) gets bumped later. Glee (SCTEN, Mon, 10pm and Thu, 8pm) is set to become the new Simpsons (SCTEN, Sun-Fri, 6pm), Top Gear (WIN, Tue, 7.30pm – Go, Sun, 6.30pm and Thu, 7.30pm) or Big Bang Theory (WIN, Mon, 8pm and Tue, 9.40pm – Go, Sun 8.40pm and Thu, 8.40pm) repeats replace the less than funny Cleveland Show.

A heap of old shows are returning including Lie to Me (SCTEN, Wed May 19, 8.30pm) and Law and Order: Criminal Intent (SCTEN, Wed May 19, 9.30pm).

If you dream of travelling to a galaxy far, far away, don’t miss auntie’s new doco series, Voyage to the Planets (ABC1, Thu May 13, 8.30pm), a visual guidebook of the planets with tips from those intimately familiar with the planets, albeit from a distance.

Other docs to look out for include The Hottest Place on Earth (SBS1, Fri May 14, 7.30pm), a series following five adventurers to the home of the Afar, the volcanic Danakil region of Africa where it reaches 60°C, Iran and the West (SBS1, Fri May 14, 8.30pm) – a two parter exploring the relationship between Iran and the US over the past three decades, Iceland’s Killer Volcano (SBS1, Sun May 23, 7.30pm) which looks at the history of the now infamous Icelandic volcano, poisonous gas from which killed a third of the population in 1783, Lani’s Story (SBS1, Tue May 25, 8.30pm), a personal story of severe domestic violence, In My Father’s Country (Tue May 25, 10pm) which looks at traditional life in one of Australia’s most remote Aboriginal communities, and Conviction: The true story of Clarence Elkins (ABC2, Wed, 9.30pm) which looks at the case of a man wrongly convicted of murder and rape in the US.

Get ready for the FIFA World Cup in June with the FA Cup Final (SBS1, Sat May 15, 10.30pm), UEFA Champions League Final: Bayern Munich v Inter Milan (SBS1, Sun May 23, 4am) and Women’s Asian Cup: China PR vs Australia (ABC2,, Sun May 23, 6pm).

Political tragics won’t want to miss the final episode of Dateline (SBS1, Sun May 23, 8.30pm), a British election special – by then they might even have a winner.

Tracy Heffernan

Blackbox

Get your tiaras and garish costumes ready, dig out the ‘70s recipe book, open a bottle of sparkling and gather your friends – it’s time for Eurovision (SBS, Sun May 30, TBC). There are three essential ingredients for a successful Eurovision viewing party – a camp retro vibe, culturally appropriate food (usually involving toothpicks with flags) and a sweep (which needs to be drawn before Tuesday May 25 when the semis start – damn interweb). This year’s event is in Oslo, Norway, so perhaps some traditional Norwegian delicacies (most of which seem to involve salmon) or a broader Scandinavian experience (fondue perhaps) might be in order. At the very least make it as retro as possible.

Chez Blackbox is also salivating with anticipation for Psychoville (ABC1, Wed May 5, 9.30pm), the new black comedy from the makers of The League of Gentlemen. Starring Dawn French, Jason Tompkins and creators Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton, the gothic series is old school British comedy mixed with a touch of Alfred Hitchcock. The BAFTA winning show will have you glued to the edge of your couch and will undoubtedly hold its own on the DVD shelf once the series is released.

Diehard fans of MTV cult classic cartoon Daria will be happy to know that while it hasn’t showed up on the box for a while, the complete series is finally being released on DVD on Tuesday May 11 after more than a decade. Those too young to remember it but who love a sardonic wit should order it now. Blackbox is tossing out the VHS copies as we speak.

Auntie has thrown up some great movie seasons on ABC2 but the latest is the best – The Clint Eastwood Season (ABC2, Sat, 8.30pm) features classics such as Coogan’s Bluff (Sat May 1), Two Mules for Sister Sarah (Sat May 8) and Play Misty for Me (Sat May 15). If you’re planning a night out, press record – sugary drinks, salty snacks, a couch and Clint make for a good hangover cure.

Docos to look out for include Wild Things (SBS1, Fri May 7, 8.05pm) which tells the story of a group of children raised collectively in a commune with one surname, Compass: The Trials of Galileo (ABC1, Sun May 9, 10.10pm) which looks at the event that pitted science and religion against each other long before some Americans sought to have creationism taught in schools, Annie Leibovitz: Life through a Lens (ABC2, Sun May 2, 7.30pm) and Close Up: Photographers at work: Portraits (ABC2, Sun May 9, 8.15pm).

Two highlights with a musical flavour – the new series of triple j TV Presents (ABC2, Mon May 3, 11pm) starts with indie darlings Phoenix and I Rock (ABC2, May 3, 9pm), the Australian dramedy following the antics of a rock band kicks off this week.

Other new or returning shows include new South Park (SBS1, Mon May 3, 10pm), Dog Squad (Prime, Wed, 7.30pm) which follows police, prison and airport dogs, new Family Guy (Prime, Thu Apr 29, 10.30pm) and Ax Men (SCTEN, Sat May 8, 2pm) which follows extreme loggers.

If you’re more concerned with what you spend your money on than what the government does with the slice you have to give them, find some place else to be on Budget night (Tue May 11).

Don’t miss Dr Who (ABC1, Sun May 2, 7.30pm) – the daleks and Winston Churchill, or the excellent new Aussie doco, Voyage to Planets (ABC1, Thu May 13, 8.30pm).

Blackbox question of the week: why are the networks keen to rerun the movie Serenity at every opportunity but not replay the brilliant Firefly series?

TRACY HEFFERNAN

tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

SC10 has created for itself a delightful circle of life – now it is done with The Biggest Loser Final (SC10, Sun Apr 18, 8.30pm), Masterchef Australia (SC10, Mon Apr 19, 7.30pm) has kicked in so we can all spend winter fattening up on delicious treats just in time to register as contestants for the next series of Biggest Loser.

It’s got to be better than watching Australia’s Got Talent (Prime, Tue, 7.30pm). Putting aside the pure mathematics of the plethora of talent shows vs our population, Blackbox doubts that even if there was a ‘SuBo’ lurking in our midst, the judging panel of Sandilands, the also-ran Minogue sister and Delta’s ex-boy-band fiancé could manage to unearth them.

Blackbox thoroughly recommends Lowdown (ABC1, Wed Apr 21, 9pm), the new comedy from Wilfred’s (SBS1, Mon, 10pm) Adam Zwar. Loosely based on Zwar’s former career as a Sunday Herald Sun columnist, Lowdown is not immediately laugh out loud comedy but it’s a grower. Like Wilfred it’s wickedly dark and self-effacing. Don’t give up after the first ep; the second is much better but relies on the comedy hooks of the first. The punchy, not-quite-novella narrations from Geoffrey Rush are a particular highlight.

It was bound to happen sooner or later – Burn Up (ABC1, Sun, 8:35pm) political thriller/spy drama set against the backdrop of climate change.

Everyone’s favourite historic dramas re-imagined with pretty people, Merlin (SC10, Sun Apr 25, 6.30pm) and Robin Hood (ABC2, Sat May 1, 7.30pm) return to screens.

While we’re on the subject of dramas filled with pretty people – instead of putting yourself through the torture of V (WIN, Sun, 9.30pm), haul out your parents’ video recorder and search e-bay for copies of the original (and cheesy) ‘80s version. Much more satisfying.

The Street (ABC2, Tue Apr 27, 8.30pm) is an intriguing new British drama in which each episode looks at the relationships in a different house through an intertwined narrative.

The Cleveland Show (SCTEN, Mon Apr 26, 10pm), Glee (SCTEN, Thu Apr 29, 8pm), Sea Patrol (WIN, Thu Apr 15, 8.30pm) and CSI: Miami (WIN, Mon, 9.30pm) are all returning.

Documentaries to catch include The Inquisition (ABC1, Thu May 6, 8.30pm) – a detailed look at the Wood Royal Commission, The 10 Conditions of Love (ABC1, Thu May 6, 9.30pm) which tells the story of the exiled Rebiya Kadeer, Feasts (SBS1, Thu Apr 29, 8.30pm) which examines the culture of India, Japan and Mexico through the ritual of their feasts and Iconoclasts: Howard Schultz and Norman Lear (ABC2, Wed Apr 28, 9.30pm) which asks the big question: what could the creator of The Princess Bride and the owner of Starbucks have in common?

As we go to press the next instalment of Underbelly, The Golden Mile (WIN, Sun, 8.30pm) is finally going to air. Set in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, it will be interesting to see the production design – it’s a fair bet we’ll see some Nirvana lookalikes in there somewhere.

Keep an eye out for Winston Churchill and the Daleks in Dr Who (ABC1, Sun May 2, 7.30pm) and the new black comedy from the League of Gentlemen folk, Psychoville (ABC1, Wed May 5, 9.30pm) and new episodes of Blackbox’s favourite comedy, Big Bang Theory (WIN, Mon, 8pm).

ANZAC inspired fare is provided by World War II: The Lost Films (Prime, Sun, 8.45pm), The Pacific (Prime, Wed Apr 14, 8.30pm), Lone Pine Service from Gallipoli (ABC2, Sun Apr 25, 6pm) and ANZAC Day March (ABC1, Sun Apr 25, 10.30am).

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

Two new Australian-produced series from Auntie are due to make it to your loungeroom in the next month. The first, dramedy I Rock (ABC2, Mon May 3, 9pm), follows a band as they try to break into the Australian music scene – not really a new idea but one that hasn’t been done all that well in Australia (remember Garage Days) so there might still be hope. It’s penned by and stars comedian Josh Maplestone and includes cameos from the likes of Tim Rogers and Laura Imbruglia. Blackbox is awaiting a preview tape so stay tuned. Check out the promo clip – www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGADze5KcgY.

Lowdown (ABC1, Wed Apr 21, 9pm) is a new comedy from Adam Zwar (of Wilfred fame). Zwar stars as Alex Burchill, an entertainment reporter and gossip columnist for the fictional Sunday Sun. Zwar’s former life as a columnist for the Sunday Herald Sun has provided a fertile source for his latest effort. Narrated by Geoffrey Rush and also starring Kim Gyngell, Judith Lucy, Julia Zemiro, Steve Bisley and Beth Buchanan, the show looks like cementing Adam Zwar’s place in Australian comedy. Big call but the promo clip had Blackbox in stitches – www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx7sR5mwipg.

Blackbox has just returned from a trip to the good ol’ US of A and while telly viewing wasn’t top of the priority list, some gems were uncovered. That is, amongst all the news shows – American news – the only mention of Australia was about the US President not coming here. And weather – for some reason the Americans are obsessed with the weather – most news shows had more stories about weather than anything else. Anyway, among the 57 channels with nothing on, Blackbox discovered Extreme Loggers, one for fans of Deadliest Catch and Ice Road Truckers, and Brotherhood, a well written and acted dram that takes the government corruption and Irish heritage of The Wire, mixes it with the gangsters of The Sopranos (7TWO, Tue, 9.30pm) and dumps the whole thing in Providence, Rhode Island – proving there is a seedy underbelly just about anywhere.

Underbelly: The Golden Mile (WIN, Sun Apr 11, 8.30pm) [Good segue! Ed.] is about to hit the box with a two hour premiere. Unfortunately the start of WIN’s lineup proper also includes Hey, Hey it’s Saturday (WIN, Wed Apr 14, 7.30pm) on a Wednesday (!?) and Sea Patrol (WIN, Thu Apr 15, 8.30pm).

Other new series to keep an eye out for include Iconoclasts (ABC2, Wed Apr 7, 9.30pm) which pairs two artists who admire each other – Sean Penn and author Jon Krakauer travel to Alaska in the first ep to retrace the steps of the protagonist of Into the Wild, Gavin and Stacey (ABC2, Thu Apr 1, 9.30pm) the second series which disappeared from Prime’s schedule, Waking the Dead (ABC2, Fri Apr 16, 8.30pm) – British cold case drama, treated with no respect by Nine and resurrected by Auntie and Barry Humphries’ Flashbacks (7TWO, Thu Apr 15, 7.30pm) which looks back at Australian pop cultural history.

Docos to catch include Rituals Around the World in 80 Faiths (SBS1, Fri Apr 9, 7.30pm) which looks at customs and ceremonies from the world’s religions and tribes, Travels with a Tangerine (ABC2, Thu Apr 15, 9.30pm) which takes viewers on a journey in the footsteps of medieval explorer Ibn Battutah, A Son’s Sacrifice (SBS1, Sun Apr 11, 9.30pm) – the best short doco winner at Tribeca follows a young muslim American who struggles to takeover his father’s halal butchery in NYC.

The Academy season movie to watch is The Grass is Greener (ABC2, Sat Apr 16, 8.30pm) starring Cary Grant, Deborah Kerr and Robert Mitchum. Also watch out for repeats of classic ‘70s dramedy Minder (7TWO, Sat, 10.10pm).

Tracy Heffernan

Blackbox

After a year of one-off specials and the like, a brand new series of Dr Who, with a brand new Doctor, hits screens next month. Well, computer screens anyway. Auntie will first screen the series on iView (Fri Apr 6 from 12am) before broadcasting on the telly (ABC1, Sun Apr 18). And it’s within a couple of weeks of the UK debut so you don’t need to worry too much about spoiler alerts. Those who watched The End of Time will know Matt Smith (the younger brother in Party Animals). An odd choice but then David Tennant took a while to settle into the role – and he has proved one of the most popular. And if you need extra incentive, the Daleks again feature heavily this season.

From the ‘thank god we’ve got extra digital channels because you would need to strap me down and pry my eyelids open Clockwork Orange style’ box comes The Matty Johns Show (Prime, Thu Mar 25, 7.30pm). It’s not enough that WIN takes up two hours with the kind of ramshackle theatrics on show in Eddie McGuire’s Olympics coverage and their Footy Shows – now we have to have another carbon copy to avoid.

The best show ever – James May’s Toy Stories (SBS1, Fri, 7.30pm) airs its best ep Lego (Apr 2). With the help of a lot of volunteers, James builds a full size lego house, replete with a lego toilet, and holds a house warming and then spends the night in it. If only Blackbox could find a way to make money out of fun things to do when you’re five.

James May’s Top Gear (WIN, Go! more times a week than anyone can possibly remember) compatriot Richard Hammond takes on real architecture with his Engineering Connections: Guggenheim Bilbao (SBS1, Sat Apr 3, 7.30pm).

New shows include Miranda (ABC2, Fri Mar 19, 8pm) – a semi-autobiographical sitcom from British comedian Miranda Hart, Whistleblowers (7TWO, Mon, 9.30pm) – a British political thriller, and Place of Execution (ABC1, Fri Apr 2, 9.20pm) – a psychological thriller. Docos not to be missed include Human Journey: Australia (ABC2, Thu Mar 18, 8.30pm) which charts Australia’s part in the spread of homiosapiens, Fire Talker: The Life and Times of Charlie Perkins (ABC2, Thu Mar 18, 9.30pm), Serial Killers (Prime, Tue Mar 23, 10.30pm) – a doco series like Gangs of Oz that predictably starts with the body-in-a-barrel case, Chachapoya (SBS1, Sun Mar 28, 7.30pm) about a lost civilisation found high in the Andes, An Englishman in New York (ABC1, Sun Mar 28, 8.30pm) which follows the life of Quentin Crisp, I. Psychopath (ABC2, Thu Mar 25, 9.25pm) which focuses on a suspected psychopath and becomes a kind of gonzo journalism and Not Quite Hollywood (SBS1, Sat Mar 27, 10pm) which looks at Ozploitation cinema and features interviews with the likes of Quentin Tarantino and Phillip Adams. It’s followed by the most famous of them all – The Adventures of Barry McKenzie (SBS1, Sat Mar 27, 11.45pm).

Still no news on a start date for Underbelly – you can enter a competition to attend a preview screening in Sydney on Thursday April 8 (channelnine.ninemsn.com.au/underbelly) so presumably it won’t be until after that.

Blackbox Tip: If you’ve never heard of The Young Ones (ABC2, Tue, 8pm), watch it – it’s where the sitcom changed forever (and good research for that uni paper on post-modernism).

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The biggest controversy of the Winter Olympics isn’t the Russians’ indigenous ice dance, whether flamboyant ice dancer Johnny Weir can make the sign of the cross correctly or even US snowboarder Scott Lago being sent home because of that pic. The biggest question is – why didn’t someone offer Roy and HG a big wad of cash to resurrect The Ice Dream? Chez Blackbox is Winter Olympics-friendly – especially the X-Games sports, backroom bitching at the ice rink and the curling – but even with that magnificent lineup, Vancouver Gold (WIN, daily, 9.30pm) is wearing pretty thin. Mick Molloy is a great comedy writer and even actor in the right circumstance but he ain’t no commentator. And Eddie? For God’s sake, stick to the Footy Show (WIN, TBA) where homophobic pranks, juvenile jokes and chauvinistic jibes seem to be the backbone of the show and Millionaire, where the contestants (including the armchair ones) will put up with anything for the chance of winning a million.

As the Winter Olympics heads towards the closing ceremony, WIN’s 2010 lineup is (finally) taking shape. As we go to press there’s still no start date for the third season of Underbelly but one has been set for the remake of V (WIN, Sun Mar 7, 8.30pm). Sure the technology has improved – the rat swallowing is bound to look more believable this time around – but the whole thing has a seen-it-before feel to the production; a sci-fi version of Robin Hood re-imagining with pretty young things and a monochromatic backdrop. Sure the ‘80s mini-series was cheesy and there was no CGI but that’s what made it so good – Blackbox recommends searching it out. If you’re a fan of old Star Trek, you’ll love it.

Kyle Sandilands will join Danii Minogue and Brian McFadden as hosts of the upcoming season of Australia’s Got Talent (Prime, TBA). That’s at least two good reasons not to watch.

Kings (7TWO, Wed, 10:30pm) is the latest offering from Heroes creator Michael Green. The plot is a modern day imagining of the bible’s Book of David, set in the fictitious kingdom of Gilboa, that looks a lot like NYC. It’s no doubt the bible is a great plot resource and Ian McShane of Deadwood fame certainly makes for a great king. The fact that Prime has relegated it to 7TWO is probably the best indication that it’s a sophisticated, not to be missed drama.

Docos to check out include Rendezvous with Death: Kennedy and Castro (SBS2, Thu Mar 4, 7:30pm) which hypothesises that Lee Harvey Oswald was a gun for hire, Contact (ABC2, Thu Mar 4, 9.25pm) which looks at the first contact between a remote Australian indigenous mob and ‘whitefellas’ in 1964, Underdog (ABC2, Wed Mar 10, 8.30pm) which follows a Jamaican dog sledder (yes dog sled, not bobsleigh) and Natascha Kampusch: 3096 Days in Captivity (SBS1, Sun Mar 7, 9.30pm) where the former pre-Fritzl captive tells her story.

The folks who give away money at the ABC have announced a further $400,000 funding will be made available for young documentary makers under round five of the triple j TV docs initiative. You can apply for funding until Monday April 5 at www.screenaustralia.gov.au/jtvdocs.

A new series of Wilfred (SBS1, Mon Mar 8, 10pm) starts this week.

And yes, that was English star Dominic West, who plays McNulty in The Wire (ABC2, Tue, 9.30pm), putting on a half-decent Australian accent in Breaking the Mould: The Story of Penicillin last Sunday night.

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

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The Blackbox guide to recognising that the end of the world is nigh*

1. The guide is littered with the words "season finale" (or "series finale" accompanied by "last ever" if it's been axed). This fortnight's end of season casualties include Australian Idol (SCTEN, Sun Nov 22, 7.30pm), Good News Week (SCTEN, Mon Nov 23, 8.30pm), NCIS (SCTEN, Tue Nov 24, 8.30pm), Celebrity Masterchef (SCTEN, Wed Nov 25, 7.30pm), Glee (SCTEN, Thu Nov 26, 7.30pm), RSPCA Animal Rescue (Prime, Tue Nov 17, 7.30pm) and Rove (SCTEN, Sun Nov 15, 9.30pm).

2. The words "fast-tracked" disappear from the commercial network schedules because TV execs don't want to waste time, effort and money when it won't help them sell advertising space.

3. You notice a lot of shows you've never heard of because even the networks who commissioned them aren't willing to say they're the best thing since sliced bread. The first of these is White Collar (SCTEN, Wed Nov 25, 8.30pm) - con artist captured by the FBI puts his skills to use for the powers of good at the FBI. If he was so skilled he probably would've evaded capture. Hint number two that it is drama-lite - it stars Tiffani-Amber Thiessen whose last appearances of note were on Saved by the Bell and the old version of Beverly Hills 90210.

4. Every show, from the stupidest sitcom to the most serious drama, has a Christmas episode that is usually dripping with sentiment and hardly ever fits with the show's ongoing narrative. The silly season starts with Talkin' 'bout Your Generation Christmas Special (SCTEN, Sun Nov 22, 6.30pm) and Rove Presents Hamish & Andy Regifted, Another Very Early Christmas Special (SCTEN, Mon Nov 23, 7.30pm). Surely it won't be long before there's a Christmas reality show (note to any young TV execs - you know where to send the royalties when you steal my idea).

5. WIN announces its summer of cricket. This season starts out with All Star Twenty20 (Sun Nov 22, time TBC) and features Ritchie Benaud (yay) and Shane Warne (boo) in the commentary team.

Auntie has moved the period drama into the 21st Century with Lillies (ABC1, Mon Nov 16, 8.30pm) set in '20s and '30s Liverpool against the backdrop of sectarianism in Britain.

Samson & Delilah (ABC1, Tue Nov 26, 9.30pm) has its TV premiere just in time for the IF Awards (SBS1, Thu Nov 19, 10pm). The awards season also includes the Walkely Awards (SBS1, Thu Nov 26, 10pm) for journalism.

SBS is trying to shoehorn as much Top Gear (SBS1, Mon 7.30pm, Fri 8.35pm), into their schedule as possible, (including a Winter Olympics special on Nov 16) before they have to hand over the reigns to WIN.

Docos over the fortnight include Tank on the Moon (ABC1, Thu Nov 19, 9.35pm) about the Russian remote control robots that surveyed the moon decades before the US Mars Rover program, Secrets of the Freemasons (SBS1, Thu Nov 12, 9.35pm), What on Earth is Wrong with Gravity (SBS1, Tue Nov 24), Leanne Tander - Living the Dream (Prime, Sat Nov 14, 2pm) and The Magic of Audrey (ABC2, Sun Nov 15, 8.30pm) about the life of Audrey Hepburn.

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

*any true square-eyed addict knows that the end of the ratings season means certain death in the telly lifecycle and *gasp* venturing outside to interact with real people.

Blackbox

Two big stories this week - one good news, the other not. Keeping with tradition, the bad news first - the Top Gear franchise is moving to WIN. The original UK series should be fine (apart from the fact there will be plenty more ads to wade through). It's the kids - Top Gear Australia - that Blackbox is worried about. What's going to happen to the kids? After a rough start where the show was trying really hard to be a carbon copy, the hosts settled in with the addition of James Morrison at the start of the second series. Morrison was witty and despite his night job with a trumpet, knows his cars. Channel Nine has already confirmed it is in talks with Shane Warne to host what is bound to be a slicker, more commercial version of Top Gear Australia. The key to the show's success has always been its irreverence, its ability to take on the top manufacturers and tell them their car is rubbish. Will the face of Advance Hair (yeah, yeah) take on the new Holden Commodore on a network where the main aim is to get advertising revenue? Perhaps not.

Usually WIN waits until it has these things settled but this time their hand may have been forced by a disgruntled SBS showing their disappointment in a press release that ended with "SBS will not comment further."

And now for the good news. Channel Seven has finally launched its new digital channel, 7TWO. Freeview Australia says it will air in Canberra and the start date is Monday November 2 but Channel 72 is not showing up on a set top box scan at Chez Blackbox yet. Aside from moving Ugly Betty (7TWO Tue Nov 3 7.30pm), Stargate Atlantis (7TWO Wed Nov 4 8.30pm), Heroes (7TWO Thu Nov 5 8.30pm) and some other programming to more friendly timeslots and adding The Jay Leno Show (7TWO Mon Nov 2 6pm), 7TWO will take Go!'s lead and resurrect some retro programming - including Dangermouse (7TWO Sun Nov 8 9am), Flipper (7TWO Tues Nov 3 8am), and Murphy Brown, The Sopranos and Six Feet Under on the coming soon list.

Elsewhere this fortnight, SBS finally has Dead Set (SBS1 Mon Nov 9 10pm), a five-part zombie thriller set on Big Brother Britain and another Chaser stalwart goes serious - Julian Morrow will deliver the Andrew Olli Media Lecture (ABC1 Sun Nov 8 10.15pm).

Las Vegas (Prime Sun Nov 1 10.30pm) winds up with weddings and a funeral. Dexter (SCTEN Sat 7 Nov 11.05pm) and the first season of The Wire (ABC2 Tue Nov 10 9.30pm) also finish up.

Docos to look out for include Artscape: The Sylvania Waters Project (ABC2 Sun Nov 1 7pm) which revisits our first ever observational doco that followed a family of cashed-up bogans living on a Sydney canal-estate, The Farewell File (SBS1 Fri Oct 30 8.30pm) about KGB agent Vladimir Vetrov, Rainforests: the secret of life (ABC2 Sun Nov 1 7.30pm) from Mt Warning, Where is the Wall? (ABC1 Tue Nov 10 8.30pm) and Busting the Berlin Wall (SBS1 Sun Nov 1 9.30pm) to mark the 20th anniversary since it came down, Guerilla Art (SBS1 Sun Nov 1 8.30pm) which looks at street art and Shintaro (SBS1 Wed Nov 4 8.30pm) about the controversy over '60s kids show The Samurai.

Movie of the week: Hitchcock's original Psycho (ABC2 Sat Oct 31 8.30pm).

Don't miss Spick and Specks '80s Revival (ABC1 Wed Nov 4 8.30pm) - mullets, new wave, early Madonna or Debbie Gibson, the garb alone will be worth the investment - guests are Brian Mannix (Uncanny X-Men), Ally Fowler (The Chantoozies), Dave O'Neill and George McEncroe and the winner scores a Prince Charles and Lady Diana commemorative engagement plate that could well be worth a bomb on eBay.

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

Don't worry loyal readers, Blackbox is not going to devote an entire column to moral outrage over the "Red Faces incident." It is interesting to note though that most commentators missed the irony of the Michael Jackson face paint changing from black to white since the skit's original outing in 1989.

And while everyone has racial issues on their mind, whether it's the stupidity of Hey, Hey or the more serious issue of the safety of Indian students, in steps John Safran with a show that is bound to start a race debate (or at least have him banned from television if he was a commercial TV personality). Aside from comparing the merits of an Asian wife vs a white one, the show sees Safran go black and go undercover in Chicago, become a ladyboy in Thailand and be nailed to a cross in The Philippines. A show guaranteed not to be picked up by CBS.

FlashForward (Prime Mon 8.30pm)? Another Lost? Chez Blackbox will give it one more ep before unconditional commitment...

The Sunday night lineup on Go! has drastically improved. Following two eps of The Big Bang Theory (Go! Sun 7.30pm), two eps of South Park (Go! Sun 8.30pm), Curb Your Enthusiasm (Go! Sun 9.30pm) and two eps of Weeds (Go! Sun 10.05pm).

Now that the devastation of losing The Cook and the Chef is over, foodies should turn their attention to the Wild Gourmets (ABC Sat 6pm) who travel Britain creating meals out of naturally occurring ingredients - part Bush Tucker Man part Galloping Gourmet. Other foodie delights to look out for include Luke Nguyen's Vietnam (SBS1 Thu Oct 15 7.30pm), River Cottage Autumn (ABC1 Wed Oct 21 6.10pm) and Jamie's American Roadtrip (SCTEN Mon Oct 26 7.30pm).

Other new shows and docos to look out for include The 39 Steps (ABC1 Sun Oct 18) - a British spy drama set in the '30s, Hope Springs (ABC1 Sat Oct 24 7.30pm) - a UK comedy about four ex-cons trying to go straight, The Great Contemporary Art Bubble (ABC2 Sun Oct 18 8.30pm) - a doco looking at the 800 percent increase in the price of contemporary art in the past five years, Conspiracy Files: Lockerbie (SBS1 Sat Oct 18 9.30pm) - a doco that examines allegations the Libyans were set up, The Bisexual Revolution (SBS1 Sun Oct 18 9.30pm), Getaway's European Road Trip (Prime Thu Oct 15 7.30pm) and Wuthering Heights (ABC1 Sun Oct 25 8.30pm).

Chris Lilley's newest mockumentary, Angry Boys, a joint venture between ABC and HBO, has just gone into production with air dates yet to be announced.

Sure he's not as famous as Ringo Starr but Craig Lowndes is about to take a leaf out of the ex-Beatle's book, voicing Roary the Racing Car when the kids' series starts on ABC next year.

Also slated for release next year on ABC1 is Sleuth 101, a whodunit gameshow hosted by comedian Cal Wilson. It comes from the team behind Spick and Specks (ABC1 Wed 8.30pm), which airs the long-awaited (at least by Chez Blackbox) '80s episode on November 4.

If you're bored with the antics of Australian TV personalities, consider a move to Brazil, where reality crime show host Wallace de Souza is accused of commissioning murders to boost his show's ratings. The former policeman and ex-politician is also facing charges of drug trafficking and criminal association. The 2016 Olympics should make for interesting viewing.

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

Finally the show Go won't shut up about has made it to air. Whether The Vampire Diaries (Go Mon 8.30pm) warrants all the hype is the bigger question. All the evidence points to a lamer version of Buffy/Angel/Twilight with just a bit more teen angst; not only is it based on a teen novel series, the creative team behind it is headed by Kevin Williamson of Dawson's Creek fame. If you're looking for a vampire theme, seek out True Blood (Showcase Tue 8.30pm). Unfortunately at the moment you'll need to purchase either cable or the DVD (or visit mates who've shelled out).

Over at Prime, the hype is flowing for the 'fast tracked' (wish they'd get over that) FlashForward (Prime Mon 8.30pm). With the pilot airing in the US just days before press time, critics there have likened it to Lost - asking substantially more questions than it answers with the potential to go completely off on a tangent at any moment. Having said that, the idea that the whole world will get a glimpse six months into its collective future is intriguing. Blackbox predicts sitting in Chez Blackbox writing about the new season shows for 2010 (and if Santa's feeling generous, watching previews on a very big plasma).

Also on the must watch list for teen drama addicts (and lovers of musical theatre) is Glee (SCTEN). While Glee definitely has the potential to overdo it with a Technicolor overload not seen since the '70s, the wisecracking antics of Jane Lynch as the school's cheerleading coach (and arch-enemy of the Glee Club) saves it from itself. Not worth seeking out but watchable in a pinch.

The latest reality show to go Aussie is The Secret Millionaire (WIN Thu Oct 8 9.30pm). It's hosted by big Russ(ell Crowe) but it will be interesting to see who parts with their hard-earned.

Rockwiz (SBS1 Sat Oct 3 9.20pm) kicks off its new season with American singer/songwriter Victoria Williams and Henry Wagons, leader of Melbourne-based country rock sextet, Wagons.

The Denton-produced Hungry Beast (ABC2 Wed 9pm) features 19 newcomers to the world of telly (Blackbox advertised the talent call earlier in the year) who are charged with telling us all something we don't know. As well as the half hour of TV, there's also daily web content at http://www.abc.net.au/tv/hungrybeast.

The promo material for Dead Famous (ABC1 Thu Oct 8 8.30pm) warns Blackbox to seek legal advice before saying much about the doco that features analysis of Melbourne's infamous gangland war. So, instead of incurring the wrath of BMA's (really enormous) legal department or landing on some defamation hitlist, Blackbox will simply say: watch it.

Collectors (ABC1 Fri Oct 9 8pm) celebrates its 200th episode this fortnight with collections of TV memorabilia, cocktail paraphernalia, Kinder Surprises and the ABC's own heritage collection.

Other docos to seek out include Inside the Vatican (SBS1 Fri Oct 2 7.35pm) which looks at everyday life and work within the world's smallest independent state, Manhunters (SBS1 Fri Oct 2 10pm) about British women finding men in the Caribbean, The Mysterious Death of Cleopatra (ABC1 Tue Oct 13 8.30pm) and for the foodies The Wild Gourmets (ABC1 Sat Oct 17 6pm)

Sad news of the week - United States of Tara (ABC1 Wed Oct 14 9.30pm) winds up its first season.

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

The talented folk of Canberra haven't really featured heavily in the plethora of reality shows. Sure there's been a couple of chicks on Big Brother over the years and some Canberra musicians that have had varying degrees of success on Australian Idol but a new show that premieres on Prime in October is about to show Canberra's true strength. The Australian version of Beauty and the Geek (Prime TBC) features two Canberrans - Jeremy, 24, a radio communications engineer and Paul, 23, a research economist and data analyst - among the eight geeks. That's a quarter of the geeks from a town with less than two percent of Australia's population. Blackbox feels a 'proud to be a Canberra geek' marketing opportunity coming on... (Mates who want to out them should feel free to drop Blackbox a line.)

Anyone who was shocked into buying a bitsa from the RSPCA after watching Pedigree Dogs Exposed last week on the ABC should watch Catalyst (Thu Sep 17 8pm) which looks at Australia's pedigrees. It'll also make you feel good about your imaginary friend.

While Money for Jam (WIN Wed 8pm) is a catchy title, the show is yet to provide any thoroughly useful information like how to find the rent money when you really want to buy beer.

The much talked about Celebrity Masterchef (SCTEN Wed Sep 30 7.30pm) should finally answer the big question - is the Queensland Premier better at cooking than she is at defending her appearance on the show?

It will be interesting to see if NCIS: Los Angeles (SC10 Wed Sep 30 8.30pm) can hold audience attention, even with the likes of Chris O'Donnell and LL Cool J. It's the idiosyncratic characters that make the original show such a success. Operations Manager Hetty (played by Linda Hunt, most memorable for her role in Kindergarten Cop) is likely to win over some viewers.

Little Britain USA (SCTEN Sun 9.50pm) and Nurse Jackie (SCTEN Sun 10.25pm) are holding down the post-Rove (SCTEN Sun 8.30pm) slot.

Fashionistas hanging out for the next Sex in the City (SCTEN Sun 11.10pm) movie should check out Video Hits presents: The music of Madonna (Sun Sep 27 10am) for tips - Carrie's flashback sequence is a none-too-subtle re-imagining of Madonna's early wardrobe.

Not only has digital telly brought The Wire (ABC2 Tue 9.30pm), Gossip Girl (Go! Thu 8.30pm) and Seinfeld (Go! Mon-Fri 8pm) reruns to our screens, Go! is also bringing back classic cartoons such as Josie and the Pussycats (Go! Sat 10am), Scooby Doo (Go! Sat 9.30am), The Flintstones (Go! Sat 12pm) and The Jetsons (Go! Sat 11am) as well as The Thunderbirds (Go! Sat 6am).

This fortnight's docos include Inside the Bombay Railway (SBS Fri Sep 18 7.30pm) which goes behind the scenes of the Mumbai rail system that moves 6.5 million people a day, Yellowstone (ABC Sun Sep 20 7.30pm), a four part series that follows the seasons in the infamous Yellowstone National Park starting with winter, Athens: The truth about democracy (ABC1 8.30pm) and The US vs John Lennon (SBS Tue Sep 29 10pm) which looks at the US government's efforts to stop John Lennon's public criticism of the Vietnam War.

Among this week's returns and new shows are Highway Patrol (Prime Mon Sep 21 7.30pm) and new seasons of Torchwood (ABC2 Fri Sep 18 8.30pm) and East West 101 (SBS Tue Sep 29 8.30pm). Don't forget Skippy (ABC1 Thu Sep 17 8.30pm).

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

Don't let anyone tell you spending all day making Youtube videos is a waste of time - the guys behind the popular Youtube video that spread faster than swine flu are about to have the fruits of their labour air as a new ABC2 series. Beached az (ABC2, Thu Sep 10, 9.25pm) goes beyond the seagull encounter that made 'I'm beached bro' part of the lexicon but promises it will be the first kiwi animation never to feature a sheep.

Of course we will never agree to steer clear of the kangaroo and the star of them all gets her just recognition in Skippy: Australia's first superstar (ABC1, Thu Sep 15, 8.30pm). Not only does the doco show us what happened to the kid who played Sonny, it also features an interview with the ageing diva herself - Skippy's frank admissions make compelling viewing.

BBC comedy FM (ABC2, Thu Sep 10, 9pm) has finally arrived. Featuring familiar faces from the IT Crowd and Teachers, it depicts life in an FM radio station - kind of. For a laugh at '80s rock, check out Rock of Love (SCTEN, Sun Sep 12, 1am) a US reality show where contestants are competing for the affection of Poison lead singer Bret Michaels. Scary.

Sad news this week with the final episode of the Cook and the Chef (ABC1, Wed Sep 16), which ensured everyone had heard of verjuice even if nobody still understands what it is. Maggie and Simon will be sorely missed in the kitchen at chez Blackbox. Fortunately Maggie's delectable delights are available locally.

Jennifer Byrne Presents (ABC1, Tue Sep 8, 10pm) turns, inevitably, to Monsters and Bloodsuckers. Fans of the genre will recognize authors Catherine Jinks and Will Elliott, academic and Australian Horror and Fantasy mag ed Leigh Blackmore. Model turned crime writer Tara Moss, an avid reader of the genre, also joins the discussion.

Other new shows to hit screen this week include Gary Unmarried (Prime, Thu Sep 3, 7.30pm) another 'I can't help it I'm a guy comedy' starring the not especially funny Jay Mohr, Billable Hours (ABC2, Thu Sep 10, 10.30pm) a Canadian legal comedy, Little Britain USA (SCTEN, Sun Sep 13, 9.50pm), Nurse Jackie (SCTEN, Sun Sep 13, 10.25pm) and The Urban Monkey with Murray Foote (ABC2, Mon Sep 14, 8.55pm), an Alby Mangels style mockumentary from comedian and Triple J personality Sam Simmonds.0

Docos in the must watch category include the final ep of Stephen Fry in America (ABC1, Sun Sep 13, 7.30pm) which heads to any grunge fan's mecca, Seattle and Hawaii where fry meets a real Magnum P.I., Artscape: Marc Newson in Conversation (ABC1, Tue, 10pm) - the Aussie designer tells why he doesn't own one of his famous Lockheed lounges.

Rove presents: Hamish and Andy's American Caravan of Courage (SCTEN, Thu Sep 10, 7.30pm) builds on the popular Rove (SCTEN Sun 8.40pm) segment as the hapless duo take the RV from Miami to LA. Not much sign of Rove though, thankfully.

Speaking of Hamish, Spicks and Specks (ABC1, Wed Sep 9, 8.30pm) celebrates its 200th episode with Paul Grabowsky, Ella Hooper, Meshel Laurie and almost-permanent-fixture Hamish.

Blackbox just pips them at the post celebrating its 202nd column this issue - sure its traditional to mark the 200th but Go's arrival had Chez Blackbox just too damn excited (and Blackbox doesn't have an enormous marketing team to keep tabs on these things).

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

It’s not often the first ep lives up to the hype but the only criticism of United States of Tara (ABC1, Wed, 9.30pm) is that it is packaged in comedy-sized bites. While Tara certainly has the comedic overtones Diablo Cody tickled us with in Juno, like that film there is drama at its core. While wanting more is good, satisfied and wanting more will bring the audience back. Tara runs the risk that viewers will wait for the DVD.

While Blackbox is not usually over-confident (hungry, insecure writers are good – any ed will tell you that) after one ep of TV Burp (Prime, Thu, 9pm) it’s unlikely Blackbox’s loyal audience will be tuning in for their telly news. Billed as bringing you the highlights and lowlights on the box, Burp is just a lame sketch comedy on a vomit-inducing set that’s, presumably, meant to be hip. Leave the psychedelics to Yo Gabba Gabba (ABC1, Mon-Fri, 9.05am) and the comedy to the next incarnation of The Chaser, if indeed their next venture is a comedy.

Chris Taylor’s next appearance on our screens is in Australia’s Heritage: National Treasures (ABC1, Thu Aug 6, 6.50pm) a series of ten-minute docos looking at a raft of items on the Heritage List starting with the Eureka Flag.

Other new shows to hit our screens include Law and Order: UK (SCTEN, Wed Aug 12, 9.30pm), the first US drama to be adapted for the UK, it’s set in London, Go Girls (SCTEN, Fri Aug 7, 10pm) a sort of north shore version of Outrageous Fortune – Auckland’s north shore but much the same sentiment applies, Ashes to Ashes (ABC1, Mon Aug 10, 9.35pm) a follow up to the original Life on Mars and How Not to Live Your Life (ABC1, Thu Aug 6, 9pm).

There are loads of series about to return to the weekly lineup – some new seasons, others that the networks yanked mid-season because of the cricket or the school holidays or some other indiscriminant reason that was really about ratings. SCTEN wants us to forget the way Dexter (SCTEN, Mon Aug 10, 9.40pm) was moved all over the schedule and is trying to make up for it with Season 3. Also returning are Numbers (SCTEN, Wed Aug 19, 9.30pm), Burn Notice (SCTEN, Thu Aug 20, 9.30pm), Las Vegas (Prime, Sun Aug 9, 10.30pm), East West 101 (SBS1, Tue Aug 18, 8.30pm) and City Homicide (Prime, Mon Aug 10, 7.30pm). The first night is a double episode and, if you’re a big enough fan to skive off work, Prime is airing the last two eps of last season at 12pm.

Docos to look out for include On Board Airforce One (Prime, Mon Aug 10) which takes you on a ride with the new US president and Stephen Fry in America (ABC1, Sun Aug 9, 7.30pm) which takes the UK comedian through all 50 states (what is it with UK comedians and travel shows?), To Russia with Love: The Great Radio War (SBS1, Fri Aug 14, 8.30pm) about Radio Free Europe and the award winning Forbidden Lies (SBS1, Tue Aug 18, 10pm) which looks at the lies of author Norma Khouri.

It’s not often that a Saturday Night Movie is worth watching but Serenity (SCTEN, Sat Aug 22, 8.30pm) never disappoints. But don’t watch it if you haven’t seen Firefly.

TV moment not to miss – Darnell cover in the Witness Protection Program is blown – My Name is Earl (Prime, Wed Aug 19, 9.30pm).

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

TV land is inundated with good news this week (and it's not often Blackbox gets to say that). The folks at Nine launched their new digital channel this week and for once Canberra will get it at the same time as the rest of the civilised world. At least if you have a HD setup. In a WIN news advertorial on Friday night they let slip that from early August Go! will be available on channel 80, the current HD channel but not on the second non-HD channel until October. It may be worthwhile upgrading to HD though - WIN has suddenly realised that people under 40 have plenty of cash to spend - cue advertisers and a move of 'youth-oriented programming' to Go! The schedule will be interesting - they are coordinating the programming on different nights - reality on Tuesday, sci fi on Wednesday and girl's night in on Thursdays.

Fans of The Wire who've spent oodles of cash and time searching for the DVDs will now be spoilt for choice. Other shows slated to rear their head on Go! are Gossip Girl, The Hills, Fringe, Terminator - Sarah Connor Chronicles, Weeds, Survivor, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, CSI, Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Not sure there'll be much point tuning into the regular channel.

The other big news is that the much-heralded Diablo Cody-penned drama series United States of Tara (ABC1, Wed Jul 29, 9.30pm) hits screens next week. Toni Collette as the multi-personalitied Tara takes viewers on a wild ride. Over the past 20 years writers have shied away from taking on this type of material but Cody, like the writers of Big Love, has hit the right strategy. United States of Tara uses dissociative personality disorder as a device rather than a subject. This is a family sitcom; the everyday life of a family - it's just that Tara's disorder makes the stories more interesting.

The 40th anniversary of the moon landing, an event which should have had us living in moon colonies and getting around with jetpacks by now, is permeating the telly schedule at every turn. One of the most interesting ways is Mythbusters: Moon landing hoax (SBS, Sat Jul 25, 7.30pm) where the team put the conspiracy theories to the test.

The time-honoured tradition of encore screenings has started once again with shows such as Airways (Prime, Tue, 7.30pm, Fri, 11.45pm, Sat, 8pm) and the 7pm Project (SCTEN, Mon-Fri, 7pm, 3.30pm) filling every available gap.

New shows include a new season of East of Everything (ABC1, Sat Jul 25, 7.30pm), Love Lies Bleeding (ABC1, Fri Jul 31, 9.40pm) a two part thriller starring Martin Kemp, Gavin & Stacey (Prime, Tue, 9.30pm) award-winning British sitcom set in Wale and Essex not to be confused with Ned & Stacey, a US sitcom from the mid '90s, Agent Moura (SBS1, Thu Jul 23, 8.30pm) about the Russian noblewoman who became a British spy, and Sin City Law (ABC2, Wed Aug 5, 8.30pm) which takes a 360 degree view of real Nevada cases.

Shows winding up include Being Human (ABC1, Fri Jul 24, 9.20pm), Spooks (ABC1, Mon Aug 3, 9.35pm) and the last ever eps of Lipstick Jungle (Prime, Tue Jul 28, 11.30pm) and Prison Break (Prime, Wed Jul 29, 11.30pm).

This week's shows to avoid - Australia's Perfect Couple (WIN, Wed, 7.30pm) - who cares, Dance Your Ass Off (WIN, Tue, 7.30pm) worse than the American Biggest Loser and True Beauty (Prime, Thu, 9.30pm) US makeover show hosted by Vanessa Minnillo of trashmag fame.

Blackbox

Sick of Michael Jackson? You wouldn't be the only one. And it isn't over yet. As we go to press, there is no word on which network will air the memorial service but Rage (ABC1, Sat Aug 1, 10am) has put together a package spanning 40 years of his career.

Last Word Monologues (ABC1, Fri Jul10, 10pm) is a trio of monologue stories from Hugo Blick (of Up in Town fame). The first stars Rhys Ifans as a framer trying to break free from his mother. Subsequent weeks feature Bob Hoskins as a hitman and Sheila Hancock as a woman in a euthanasia clinic. Worth the investment.

Blackbox is blaming Idol, its siblings and the revival of Fame for Glee (SCTEN, Sun Jul 19, 9pm). It was only a matter of time before TV execs cottoned on to the potential of a modern musical comedy series about a high school choir. Nominated for three teen choice awards. That about says it all.

Masterchef (SCTEN, Sun Jul 19, 7.30pm) winds up next week - check out The Cook and the Chef (ABC1, Wed, 6.30pm) for your cooking fix. The much-promoted 7pm Project (SCTEN, Mon Jul 20, 7pm) will fill the weekday slot. While there's no doubt Hughsie, and Charlie Pickering are entertaining, dissecting the news of the day may not be their forte. Perhaps the razor sharp wit and insightful comedic critique of Wil Anderson or Paul McDermott may have been a better fit. And Ruby Rose? Entertainment reporter? Please. If the selection criterion was number of mentions in a trash mag, no wonder she got the gig.

WIN have just announced that Little Britain (WIN, Tue Jul 7, 10.30pm) is 'premiering'. Why on earth would anyone tune in to watch a show with ads that a) has already run on another network without ads and b) is readily available on DVD? Is it possible that WIN has secured the rights to HBO's Little Britain USA and this is just a warm up? We can only hope.

ABC's Sunday night slot will be filled with The Last Enemy (ABC1, Sun Jul 19, 8.30pm), about an international 1984-style conspiracy. Funny how the immediate future is always about doom and gloom, big brother, terrorists, machines taking over the world and destruction and the distant future a utopian (Star-Trek style) imagining of the world. This eve of destruction thriller stars the brilliant Robert Carlyle so it can't be all bad.

If you're looking for a good doco check out Ned Kelly Uncovered (ABC1, Thu Jul 9, 8.30pm) as Tony Robinson (intrepid British history sleuth) conducts an archeological dig at Glenrowan, Spirit Stones (ABC1, Thu Jul 9, 9.30pm) looks at stone showers reported in south west Victoria in the '40s and '50s, We are Wizards (ABC2, Wed Jul 22, 8.30pm) which looks at Harry Potter Fans that have taken it to a trekkie level, Artscape: Brian Eno in conversation (ABC1, Tue Jul 21, 9.50pm) which shows great insight into one of the world's greatest producers, or World's Greenest Homes (ABC1, Thu Jul 30, 6pm).

Returning series include Big Bang Theory (WIN, Mon, 8pm), Q&A (ABC1, Thu Jul 23, 9.30pm) and Rush (SCTEN, Mon Jul 13, 8.30pm).

Strangest casting of the year - Corinne Grant will host Airways (Prime, Tue Jul 14, 7.30pm) the new Tiger Airways fly-on-the-wall doco.

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

Debate has raged over the past few weeks about The Chaser's War on Everything (ABC2, Wed, 9pm) - yanked from the schedule due to a stunt everybody seemed to find offensive. So far not a single person has said they found it funny, despite it being offensive. Because it wasn't. And that's the problem with the latest series. The desire to be as shocking and newsworthy as possible has drowned out the wit and panache with which The Chaser team once plied their trade. They were at their best when they were writing an anonymous satirical newspaper. Now they've become the celebrities they once skewered so eloquently.

The following comment will probably mean that a chasm opens under Chez Blackbox and it is sucked into Hades but doesn't anyone else see the absolute hypocrisy in shows like Random Acts of Kindness (WIN, Sun, 6.30pm)? First, the company/agency etc that donates the goods gets a free ad that would usually cost a lot more. Meeting stars is no less profitable - they usually have a movie to flog. The hosts are from other WIN shows, providing a great cross-promotional opportunity (and a boost to their careers). And shows like this cost very little to produce. Sure, deserving people are on the receiving end of the largesse but the motive is the same as The Chaser. Ratings.

The British have long been superior at penning and producing cops shows and spy dramas (with a few exceptions like The Wire) and comedy. Now they've taken a punt with the supernatural. Being Human (ABC2, Fri, 9.20pm) slots comfortably into the Friday night sci-fi lineup. The show about a vampire, werewolf and ghost who share a house is far more sophisticated than it sounds. And the scripts walk all over recent efforts in this genre. Sure, the vampire is man candy but that's the nature of the beast, and the storylines explore much more than the mythical stereotypes.

If you've always wanted to be a TV star but can't act, sing or juggle, two new casting calls may set you on your way to stardom. ABC is looking for presenters for a number of projects on its new digital kids channel, ABC3 - visit abc.net.au/meon3. The Apprentice is coming to Australia. No Donald though - visit ninemsn.com.au/Apprentice to apply.

Looking for cool telly to keep little tykes busy - Yo Gabba Gabba (ABC2, Mon Jul 6, 9.05am) - DJ Lance Rock, The Ting Tings, Jack Black...

Trouble in Paradise (WIN, Thu Jun 25, 8.30pm) shows you where and what to avoid when you go overseas.

While it sounds like an accountant's ultimate fantasy, The Ascent of Money (ABC, Thu, 8.30pm) is proving to be very interesting for those of us who don't understand why a whole lot of bad home loans in the US means that our money is suddenly worth less. As it Happened: 1929 The Wall Street Crash (SBS1, Fri Jul 3, 8.30pm) is a good companion.

Docos to check out include La Paloma (ABC2, Sun Jun 28, 9.35pm), about the oft recorded tune, Are We Alone in the Universe?Australian Biography: Noel Tovey (SBS1, Wed Jul 1, 10pm) which follows the extraordinary life of the indigenous actor, choreographer and writer, Slave Revolution (SBS, Sun Jul 5, 7.30pm) which looks at the first slave revolution in Haiti, Can GM Food Save the World (SBS1, Tue Jul 7, 8.30pm) and Journos (SBS1, Sun Jul 5, 9.30pm). (SBS1, Tue Jun 30, 7.30pm),

Sports fans will be in heaven with the launch of ONE in the ACT from July 2 as well as Tour de France (SBS1, from Sat 4 Jul, 10pm) and The Ashes (SBS1, from Wed Jul 8, time TBA).

New series Prime has slated for the next few months include Airways - an observational doco inside Tiger Airways so you can see how it all goes wrong, Double Take - a new sketch parody show and TV Burp - a look at the week's TV with comedian Ed Kavalee, which probably won't put Blackbox out of a job - after all, 'you gotta dance with the one who brung ya'.

Blackbox

Is anybody else sick of the Freeview ads tugging at your heart strings with TV moments from before you were born, promising much but delivering little? Despite trumpeting the advent of 15 channels, we still only have seven. The five we already had plus the recently launched SBS TWO, expanding the news channel to include foreign language films and repeats, and a growing stable of programs on ABC2. SC10 is yet to pick up ONE HD, Channel 10’s sports channel but you can already get it through Foxtel. That’s right – the one extra free-to-air channel that’s available can only be seen in Canberra on pay TV, while free-to-air networks run ads to tell us why they’re better than pay TV. Lucky Auntie is taking things seriously otherwise Chez Blackbox might have to rethink its principled stance against paying for television. Now if Foxtel got rid of the ads…

On another front, SCTEN’s loss is a Flight of the Conchords (SBS, Mon, 9pm) fan’s gain with the second series on air in a much more respectable (and predictable) timeslot. It may have been a better show for SCTEN if it hadn’t been subject to being pushed later by Rove (SCTEN, Sun, 8.45pm) and whichever inane reality show preceded him.

Merlin (SCTEN, Sun, 6.30pm) is really paint-by-numbers stuff. Take a British legend – preferably set sometime when there were busty women, jousting, crusades and when the men wore tights – and add some pretty people with more hair product than you’d find backstage at a drag show. Hard to tell you’re not watching the latest Robin Hood incarnation.

Harper’s Island seems to have turned out a dud – from 9.35pm to midnight to gone in the space of two weeks. Dave in the Life has also been hastily replaced with South Park (SBS, Mon, 8.30pm).

Three Acts of Murder (ABC1, Sun Jun 14, 8.30pm) ticks all the right boxes – an Australian period crime drama – this time set in the 1930s – based on a true story – serial killer Snowy Rowles, who took his inspiration from an Arthur Upfield novel, before it was even published. Confused? Tune in.

Spooks (ABC1, Mon, 9.35pm) is proving to be riveting viewing – in the next few weeks the focus moves from Iran and the middle east to Russia and there’s a new addition to the cast, Richard Armitage as MI5 officer Lucas North, captured in Russia eight years ago.

It sounds incredibly boring but The Ascent of Money (ABC1, Thu, 8.30pm) is actually fascinating, particularly if you can’t understand how you can wake up one day and be in the middle of the GFC without it having something to do with fried chicken.

Docos to look out for include Artscape: Circus Oz: The Big Birthday Bash (ABC1, Tue Jun 16, 10pm) which follows the circus on its 30th anniversary tour, Back Home (ABC1, Thu Jun 25, 9.25pm) which takes a Rwandan genocide survivor on a return trip through his country, Wordplay (SBS, Tue Jun 16, 10pm) which looks at the culture and history of The New York Times crossword, Nature’s Great Events (ABC1, Sun Jun 14, 7.30pm) which begins with the Arctic’s yearly melt.

Don’t miss Family Guy (Wed, Jun 10, 10.30pm), which promises the audio from the now infamous rant from Christian Bale.

TRACY HEFFERNAN
tracyheffernan@bigpond.com

Blackbox

The new black in tellyland has got to be the panel quiz show – cheaper than a Millionaire-type quiz where you have to give prizes to the boring contestants and more interactive than straight panel shows. The recipe goes something like this… take two or three regular team leaders who have a knack for comedy, being starstruck and some knowledge of the show’s subject matter, add some guests – a mix of comedians and celebrities who have something to spruik and add a well-loved and funny host and you’ve got a winner. The concept is not new – Good News Week (SCTEN, Mon, 8.30pm) has been around for more than a decade, originally on the ABC, and Spicks and Specks (ABC1, Wed, 8.30pm) and Rockwiz (SBS, Sat, 9.20pm) have both proved must-watch telly for music trivia geeks – but it is spreading. Talkin ‘bout Your Generation (SCTEN, Tue, 7.30pm) just started and SBS’s new sports quiz show The Squiz (SBS, Sat May 23, 8.30pm), hosted by Anh Do, kicks off this weekend.

India is certainly on the TV producer’s radar. Following the Story of India recently aired on Auntie, comes Jamie’s Journey with the Children of India (Prime, Sat May 23, 4.30pm) featuring pretty boy gardener Jamie Durie, Office Tigers (SBS, Wed May 27, 8pm) – a four-part doco that follows American corporate trainers as they teach young Indian workers in Chennai and Mumbai Calling (ABC1, Tue, 9.35pm), the new Sanjeev Bhaskar comedy about a call centre in India – Richard E. Grant stars in the May 26 ep.

If you can’t remember the last time you went to bed sober before 3am then you should make sure you set your recorder for Dead Tired (SBS, Wed May 27, 8.30pm) which proves that (apparently) lack of sleep is slowly killing us all… better to burn out than fade away takes on a whole new meaning.

Ever the speed lover, Top Gear’s Richard Hammond steps away from the race track (but not too far) for Richard Hammond’s Engineering Connections (SBS, Sat May 30,ww 7.30pm) that looks at Airbus A380 and Taipei’s 101 Tower among other engineering marvels.

Should I Smoke Dope (ABC2, Wed May 27, 9.30pm) takes immersive journo Nicky Taylor on a pot-smoking journey where she explores whether cannabis should be re-classified as a class B drug in the UK and treated differently to heroin and cocaine, including taking part in a medical trial to see if pot makes you mad.

Other docos and new shows to look out for over the next three weeks include Lost Worlds: And Man Invented Animals (SBS, Sun May 24, 7.30pm) tracking the taming of wild animals over the centuries to produce cute kitties and puppies for your home, Lugosi: Fallen Vampire (ABC2, Sun May 24, 9.35pm) which tells the story of the first actor to play Dracula, the legendary Bella Lugosi, Michael Palin: Around the World in 20 Years, where Palin revisits some of his adventures and the people he met along the way and the return of Sea Patrol (WIN, Mon May 18, 8.30pm).

And the big news is the return after their post-APEC hiatus of The Chaser’s War on Everything (ABC1, Wed May 27, 9pm) – celebrities, politicians, public servants and shoppers beware. They’re on the streets again.

Blackbox

The recent trend towards setting drama in the mid-late 20th century, in Blackbox faves such as Life on Mars (SCTEN, Fri, 10.30pm), Mad Men (SBS, Thu, 8.30pm) and Underbelly: A Tale of Two Cities (WIN, Mon, 8.30pm) begs the question: are writers trying to turn a mirror on the past to show us why we should be thankful for today or are they just fed up with the political correctness that underlies every word they write in a modern drama? Mad Men in particular echoes outrageous sentiments that were the accepted norms of the time – so much so that there was no need to articulate them in shows made in the 1950s and ‘60s. You don’t see Darren from Bewitched remonstrating about the fact that his wife’s place is at home, in the kitchen, as a homemaker. And witch or not she dutifully accepts that as her role. And she does it without a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. Whether a serious social message is at their heart, these shows must be loads of fun for the writers. There are loads of tongue-in-cheek jibes at cultural icons. And the costume and set designers must have a blast. Blackbox feels another round of vintage dressing approaching…

On the topic of Life on Mars, it appears fans of long-running crime franchise, Law and Order, in particular Law and Order: Criminal Intent (SCTEN, Thu May 14, 8.30pm) will see their icons back on the regular timeslot with Life on Mars heading to Friday nights. Jeff Goldblum joins the Criminal Intent cast as rockstar detective Zach Nichols.

Harper’s Island (SCTEN, Sun May 10, 9.40pm) is one of those revolutionary ideas that spends so much time on the revolutionary it falls flat on the delivery – a little like the BBC’s Wallpaper/Echo Beach duo (ABC). Harper’s Island is a teenage horror series set around a wedding on an island. It is a 13-part series with a finite end and the promise of at least one character dying each episode – sort of a modern horror version of Agatha Christie. There is a companion web series, Harper’s Globe – the story of a new reporter at the island’s newspaper that gets drawn into the drama.

Talkin ‘bout Your Generation (SCTEN, Tue May 5, 7.30pm) which looked like a promising social challenge just turns out to be a formula for a new quiz show.

Refugees from Perth who miss the music scene back home (or anyone who is interested in the culture behind music) should tune in to Something in the Water (ABC2, Wed May 13, 9.30pm).

Wildlife lovers shouldn’t miss Christian the Lion (Prime, Tue May 5, 7.30pm) which tells the 1960s story behind last year’s Youtube star or Foreign Correspondent: Queen of the Mountains (ABC1, Tue May 5, 8pm) about breeding snow leopards in the Himalayas. Snow leopards also feature in the return of The Zoo (Prime, Tue May 5, 7.30pm).

Other shows to watch out for over the next three weeks include The Brothers Warner (ABC2, Sun May 3, 8.30pm) about the movie studio siblings, Jeff Tweedy: Sunken Treasure Live in the Pacific Northwest (ABC2, Mon May 4, 9.55pm) which follows the Wilco frontman on his solo tour, Dave in the Life (SBS, Mon May 11, 8.30pm) which follows the guy imbedded with Sheikh Hilaly into other people’s lives, Cyber Guerillas (SBS, Tue May 12, 8.30pm), When Borat Came to Town (SBS, Tue May 12, 10pm) about the Kazakh village Sacha Baron Cohen depicted, Mumbai Calling (ABC1, Tue May 12, 9.35pm) the latest Sanjeev Bhaskar comedy about a call centre in Mumbai and the return of Thank God You’re Here (Prime, Wed, 7.30pm) in its new home, Lipstick Jungle (Prime, Tue May 5, 10.30pm) and Top Gear Australia (SBS, Mon May 11, 7.30pm).

And yes The Logies (WIN, Sun May 3, 8pm – Red Carpet at 7.30pm) are on. Blackbox thinks they should include a category for best TV critic/commentator/columnist but of course that would be against the sycophantic nature of the awards (and BMA isn’t controlled by Channel 9).

For much more fun with awards shows, try Eurovision Song Contests Semi Final 1 & 2 and Final (SBS, Fri May 15, Sat May 16, Sun May 17 7.30pm).

Blackbox

So it looks like another year of crime drama, but at least it’s getting slightly more imaginative. No doubt the over-hyped show of 2009 will be the new Underbelly series A Tale of Two Cities (WIN), set in the ‘70s and ‘80s in Griffith and Sydney. It’s going to have to do big things to even come close to the intensity of Roberta’s bogan ways. Sure, you can believe Matthew Newton as a sleazy drug boss, but whether we can see the man most famous as the Mayor of Parkes as a mafia boss or Sally Fletcher as a gangster’s wife remains to be seen. The beauty of the first series was the relatively unknown actors in the lead roles - sure there were a couple of faces from long dead ‘80s soaps, and Frankie J Holden, but our faves, like Roberta, were newcomers. The ‘70s garb and the locations in downtown Griffith alone won’t cut it - Blackbox is just praying the script is as good as the original.

One show that most of you have probably already put on the don’t-watch-unless-every-other-channel-goes-to-test-pattern list is the US version of Life on Mars (SCTEN), and while the fact that they killed the continuing mystery in the original series and David E. Kelley pulled out before the pilot was re-written, there is one reason to tune in. Harvey Keitel. That makes it at least worth a peek.

The show you really should put on the list is the Australian version of Ladette to Lady (WIN). Cringe (non-cultural).
Elsewhere it’s wall-to-wall observational docos, reality and lifestyle. Bondi Vet (SCTEN) doesn’t promise anything new apart from a vet who’s more attractive than Dr. Harry, but Guerrilla Gardeners (SCTEN) might prove more interesting – instead of the backyards of battlers it makes over urban spaces. Talkin’ ‘bout my Generation (SCTEN), a panel show that will feature different generations discussing issues, could prove entertaining depending on the panelists. While it could be completely self indulgent, Toasted and Roasted (WIN) brings the US concept to our screens. The only problem is we’ve been doing it for years without a TV show deeming it OK.

As usual Auntie wins in the comedy stakes with The Chaser’s War on Everything (ABC1) returning and John Safran taking on yet another taboo topic with John Safran’s Race Relations (ABC1).

Dr Who fans will be pleased that a new Doctor has been announced – Matt Smith from summer hit Party Animals (ABC1, Tue, 8.30pm) - and that Auntie will screen this year’s Christmas episode with David Tennant at the end of February. Visit www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VLFli9i9Jw for a preview.

While the summer viewing was pretty thin on the ground – Chez Blackbox managed to get through at least two seasons of The Wire and some other assorted retro fare such as The X-Files and Northern Exposure – the pick of the new shows was Big Bang Theory (WIN, Sun-Mon, 8pm). Sure, there are a lot of predictable geek jokes and some of the peripheral characters are lucky to make two dimensions, but Jim Parsons is brilliant as the arrogant yet whiny Sheldon and Johnny Galecki and Sara Gilbert successfully recreate the chemistry that often saw them steal the show on Roseanne.

Of course special mention should go to the highly addictive Gossip Girl (WIN, Wed, 11.30pm), although WIN seems to have ditched it a few times in favour of Temptation (WIN, Mon-Fri, 11.30pm). Game shows are not an 11.30pm show. Bring back the bitches of New York society!

While you wait for the new shows to start, keep yourself amused with Animation Season (SBS, Tue, 10.55pm), Rockwiz featuring Adalita of Magic Dirt fame (SBS, Sat Jan 24, 9.20pm), new comedy Chandon Pictures (ABC1, Wed, 9.05pm) and Food Safari USA (SBS, Wed Jan 28, 7.30pm).

Blackbox

Freeview, the consortium of free to air networks has started marketing itself and the new digital channels that are due to arrive in 2009 but there’s no air date, or many details so far. Just one. SCTEN has announced that its second (non-HD) channel will be dedicated to sport. Presumably the ‘Berra won’t be the first market to get tuned in so if you’re paying for pay TV, don’t tear up your subscription just yet.

Speaking of pay TV, the transition of Gossip Girl (WIN, Wed, 10.30pm) is further proof that it’s all about waiting (as long as the network doesn’t axe it because it’s not rating well enough). Dirty Sexy Money (Prime, Tue, 11.30pm) is in danger with its move to late night.

Looking for a trip away but can’t afford to leave the couch? Go on a culinary tour of the world with Food Safari (SBS, Wed, 7.30pm) and visit delectable delights from Persia, Africa, Syria as well as (scarily enough) the UK and US. Check out Iron Chef America:  Cheese (SBS, Wed Dec 24, 3.10pm) for a taste.

New shows for the summer include In Plain Sight (SCTEN, Tue Dec 16, 9.30pm) which is another crime show, Gangland Graveyard (ABC1, Mon Jan 5, 8.30pm) another one and Nigel Marven’s Ugly Animals (ABC1, Sun Jan 4, 7.30pm).

Docos to search out in coming weeks include Hitler’s Museum (SBS, Fri Dec 12, 8.30pm) tracing Hitler’s plan to pillage Europe’s museums to build his own, Celebrity Dominick Dunne (ABC1, Mon Dec 15, 8.30pm) which follows the legendary 82-year-old commentator as he follows the murder trial of Phil Spector, Roller Derby Dolls (repeated ABC2, Wed Dec 15, 8.05pm), Expedition Bhutan (ABC1, Mon Dec 22, 8.30pm), The Real Mrs Doubtfire (ABC1, Mon Dec 22, 10.15pm), 638 Ways to Kill Castro (SBS, Mon Dec 29, 8.30pm) which speaks to a number of men who have tried to assassinate Fidel Castro, Destiny in Alice (SBS, Thu Jan 1, 9.30pm) looks at lesbianism in Alice Springs and AC/DC – Legends of Rock (Prime, Wed Dec 17, 9.30pm).

If you want to look forward rather than back as the year comes to a close, check out At the Movies Summer Special (ABC1, Sun Dec 14, 6pm) and let David and Margaret help plan your summer.

In the true tradition of celebratory specials, Myf Warhurst will ‘host’ New Year’s Eve – The Best 0f 2008 with Myf Warhurst (ABC 1, Wed Dec 31, 8.30pm) strings together a series of (mostly) repeats of The Gruen Transfer, Spicks and Specks, The New Inventors and Enough Rope. It does, however, begin with the Chaser-produced Happy News Year.

Over at SBS, they have a more novel approach to the new year (while you recover from your hangover). Terry Jones traces The Story of 1 (SBS, Thu Jan 1, 8.30pm).

Don’t miss 1 Giant Leap – What About Me? (ABC2, Wed Dec 31, 8.05pm). The series takes musicians Duncan Bridgeman and Jamie Catto as they travel around the world with their music, adding layers to the music through the cultures of the places they travel to. Alongside the music there are interviews with some famous actors and some of the world’s greatest thinkers on all aspects of the human condition.

Have a fantastic Christmas and New Year and check out the following shows while you get excited bout the white-bearded fat man in the red suit. Scrooged (Prime, Sat Dec 20, 11.20pm), Merry Christmas Joyeux Noel (ABC1, Sun Dec 21, 8.35pm), Christmas Lights (ABC1, Wed Dec 24, 8.05pm), Jamie at Home: Christmas Special (SCTEN, Wed Dec 24, 7.30pm), Vision Australia’s Carols by Candlelight (WIN, Wed Dec 24, 8.30pm), Catherine Tate Christmas Special (ABC1, Wed Dec 24, 9.35pm), Father Ted Christmas Special (ABC1, Wed Dec 24, 10.10pm), An Irish Christmas (ABC2, Wed Dec 24, 11.05pm), Santa Claus Parade (SCTEN, Thu Dec 25, 6am), A Very Barry Christmas (ABC1, Thu 25, 8.15am), The Grinch (SCTEN, Thu Dec 25, 12pm), Creature Comforts: Merry Christmas (ABC2, Thu Dec 25, 9.50pm).

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While the Australian series of Top Gear (SBS, Mon, 7.30pm) is still finding its feet, it is already attracting a loyal following. And rightly so. The challenges and commentary on cars available in Australia are a hoot and cartoonist Warren Brown is proving a winner. Last week’s lawn bowls segment was inspired, and the show is taking on Australian topics like this week’s investigation of the ‘Toorak Tractor’ phenomenon. The only criticism that can be directed thus far is the show’s strict adherence to the British format – right down to the copycat set, the camera angles, voiceover and the personalities of the hosts. Hopefully, with a bit of time, the hosts, in particular Charlie Cox, will step out of the shadow of their UK counterparts and let their own personality shine. Personality is largely what has made the UK show so successful and it would be a pity for the Aussie version to suffer an identity crisis on this basis. Attempting to copy a show lock stock and barrel may have worked for Steve Vizard in the ’80s but in these days of ‘fast-tracking’ (a term that should be relegated to the cutting room floor) and in a situation where the original show has such a loyal audience, it simply doesn’t wash. Just ask those few who even bothered to watch last week’s debut of the US version of Kath and Kim. After one poorly performing ep and a panning in the press, Prime have seen the error of their ways and yanked the show, preferring to air reruns of the original Kath and Kim (Prime, Sun, 7pm), even acknowledging in their own publicity as ‘the original and best’. Let’s face it, Kimmy needs a muffin top, Kath needs to be unfashionable, Brett is supposed to be a dork, and Kel as a sandwich shop owner just doesn’t quite cut it. The US version of The Office (SCTEN, Sun, 11.20pm) has managed to find an audience because it developed its own flavour – a satirical look at the US workplace.

A copycat that is probably likely to work (as reality or observational docos often do) is Face Painting with Bill Leak (ABC1, Mon Nov 17, 8pm) which builds on the Rolf Harris show. In Leak’s version, the subjects are no longer with us and he goes on a quest to find out what they were really like before completing their portrait.
SCTEN have had a bit of a shake-up in their schedule – Californication (SCTEN, Sun Nov 9, 10.40pm) will need to re-program recorders as repeat episodes of NCIS (SCTEN, Sun, 9.40pm) push it to a later timeslot. And Friends is gone from the weeknight slot replaced with reruns of Will and Grace (SCTEN, Mon-Fri, 7pm).
Those who’ve not made the commitment to Life (SCTEN, Thu, 9.30pm) should take the opportunity this week with a special double episode. Good scripts and plots and an ongoing theme make this a show to add to your regular viewing roster.

Docos to keep an eye out for include Humpbacks: From Fire to Ice (ABC1, Sun Nov 16, 7.30pm), The Howard Years: Change the Government, Change the Country (ABC1, Mon Nov 17, 8.30pm), Sunday Arts (ABC1, Sun Nov 16, 5pm) which features an article with film director Julien Temple (The Great Rock and Roll Swindle, The Filth and the Fury, Joe Strummer: The Future is Unwritten) who is in Sydney directing Eternity Man, Cooking in the Danger Zone – Chernobyl (SBS, Wed Nov 5, 8pm) and Hairtales (ABC1, Thu Nov 20, 9.30pm) which takes an offbeat look at hair, including an ex-gothic mortician, a Canadian hair academic, a country girl bikini waxer and a myopic hair artist.

Political geeks will be in heaven this week with the US election. Auntie’s new ABC News Breakfast (ABC2, Mon Nov 3, 6am) premieres just in time, World News Australia: America Decides (SBS, Wed Nov 5, 3.30pm) follows the action live with the help of CNN, and Dateline (SBS, Wed Nov 5, 8.30pm) airs live from Washington. On the lighter side is Mr Firth Goes to Washington (SBS, Tue Nov 4, 8.30pm) part docudrama, part mockumentary, the show follows The Chaser’s Charles Firth as he goes to Washington and attempts to get an interview with George Bush. The following week British political satire The Thick of It (ABC1, Fri Nov 21, 9.40pm) hits our screens.

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The music industry’s night-of-nights is almost upon us and unlike the Oscars, Emmys or Logies, sunglasses and bondage wear are guaranteed to make an appearance on the red carpet. The 22nd Annual ARIA Awards (SCTEN, Sun Oct 19, 7.30pm) will be hosted by Hamish, Andy and James Mathison, which shouldn’t come as a huge surprise. Without platinum selling albums from Silverchair or Powderfinger, the awards might even warrant a wager with friends.

On a musical note, Rainman goes to Rockwiz (SBS, Wed Oct 22, 8pm) as it follows music aficionado Mark Boerebach as a guest on Rockwiz. Mark, who was born blind and diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, is a font of knowledge about Australian ’80s music and lists the Xanadu soundtrack as his favourite album. The episode of Rockwiz (SBS, Sat, 9.20pm) airs on October 25.

Other music shows to look out for include London Live (ABC2, Sun Oct 19, 12pm) with Morrissey, Mohair, Wolfmother and Goldfrapp, Classic Albums: Sex Pistols: Never Mind the Bollocks (ABC2, Fri Oct 24, 10.30pm) and Scott Walker: 30 Century Man (ABC2, Sun Oct 26, 8.30pm) which features interviews with the likes of David Bowie, Radiohead, Jarvis Cocker, Alison Goldfrapp and Brian Eno.

Fans of Californication (SCTEN, Sun, 10pm) who were concerned that last season’s happily-ever-after tie-up would be the end of Hank’s sleazy ways should be unconcerned, if last week’s season opener is anything to go by, the writer’s aren’t done with jumping over boundaries. The best news of the fortnight is the return of Stupid Stupid Man (ABC1, Wed, 9pm) filling the void left by The Hollowmen, which will be sadly missed.

The folks behind Pizza have a brand new comedy – Swifty and Shift Couriers (SBS, Mon Oct 27, 8.30pm) has an eclectic cast that includes Ian Turpie, Amanda Keller, Melissa Tkautz, Paul Fenech and Angry Anderson among others.

Now Blackbox is not usually a forum to promote any kind of business news or financial show but the topic for this week’s Insight (SBS, Tue Oct 21, 7.30pm) is an exception. In the wake of the financial market uncertainty the program is looking at whether greed is to blame – could make interesting viewing. In the documentary stakes, First Australians (SBS, Sun, 8.35pm and Tue, 8.30pm) continues until November, Run Granny Run (SBS, Tue Oct 21, 10.05pm) looks at 89-year-old Doris Haddock, who after walking 3200 miles to protest against the influence of big money in US elections, became a senator, The Choice 2008 (SBS, Tue Oct 28, 10.05pm) which looks at the biographies of Barack Obama and John McCain, and Infamous Victory: Ben Chifley’s battle for coal (ABC1, Thu Nov 6, 8.30pm). West Wing fans and other political geeks shouldn’t miss Mister President (SBS, Fri Oct 31, 7.30pm) which looks at how the White House is portrayed on film and TV. Series returning this week include The Office (SCTEN, Sun Oct 26, 10.20pm), The Zoo (Prime, Tue Oct 21, 7.30pm).

Thought for the week – Battlefronts (WIN, Sun, 6.30pm) – if the networks scrape any further for lifestyle show ideas, they are sure to put a hole in the bottle of the barrel soon.

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There’s so much going on in TV land over the next few weeks that it’s hard to know what’s the biggest news. Until you get to the SBS email. Yes folks, the much-vaunted local version of Top Gear (SBS Mon Sep 29 7.30pm) kicks off in just over a week. Carlovers, revheads and comedy fans who catch the bus will be holding their breath to see if the series measures up. On the plus side, the cars will be available here and some of the hosts, such as inimitable cartoonist Warren Brown have a personality and love for motoring that should fit the format. Like all localised versions, though, it will probably need a settling-in period for the viewers to see it as a stand-alone show and for the hosts to avoid trying to mimic their counterparts. Except for The Stig. And it remains to be seen whether the Australian Stig can be as successful as TISM at protecting his real identity. Perhaps The Stig is actually a member of TISM…

The new 90210 (SCTEN Mon 8.30pm) has managed to copy its longer monogrammed predecessor and offer a real surprise in the teen drama genre. Sure all the actors are pretty – no Andrea or David Silver here – but, elaborate backstories notwithstanding, the characters are less vapid and vacant than many of the show’s contemporaries. While not challenging viewing or Emmy-award winning scripting, Blackbox predicts 90210 will become the guilty pleasure to replace the void left by Dirty Sexy Money.

Whether the new Knightrider (Prime Sat Sep 27 9pm) will mange the same feat, remains to be seen. This is likely to be one case where the original retains its cult status, cheesy acting from The Hoff and all. And what’s with the new K.I.T.T? Taking a regular black rev head coupe and adding a red light to the bonnet and a couple of props from the Star Trek set does not an icon make.

Spicks and Specks (ABC1 Wed Oct 8 8.30pm) takes a different tack with Hamish Blake hosting a behind-the-scenes special. While there’s expected fare such as viewers’ comments and how the questions are picked, the team interviews will reveal the rudest, crudest and weirdest guests. Voyeuristic viewing at its best.
New police dramas Rush (SCTEN Tue 9.30pm) and The Strip (WIN Thu 8.30pm) have yet to solidly cement themselves in the Chez Blackbox schedule but neither is reach-for-the-remote fare. Of course it could be Callan Mulvey in the former and endless scenes of summer in the latter that are holding the attention.

While the premise of a comedy actor reprising a film role to do a documentary about toilets around the world could have been a disaster, Kenny’s World (SCTEN Wed 8pm) is incredibly well-researched with plenty of quirky finds.

The same can’t be said for Taken Out (SCTEN Mon-Fri 7pm). This woeful dating show makes Perfect Match, replete with compatability-calculating robot Dexter, look sensitive.

In the documentary department don’t miss The Lost World of Tibet (ABC1 Sun Oct 5 7.30pm) which uses archival footage shot before communism, Two in the Top End (ABC1 Tue 8pm) with intrepid travelers Tim Flannery and John Doyle, Four Wives, One Man (SBS Tue Sep 30 10.05pm), which follows a polygamist family in Iran over three years and Iconoclasts: Eddie Vedder and Laird Hamilton (ABC 2 Wed Oct 1 9.20pm) which looks at the lives of the Pearl Jam singer and the surfer through their friendship.

Sadly, some Blackbox faves are approaching season cliffhangers including The Hollowmen (ABC1 Wed Oct 8 8.30pm) which actually ran two seasons, Doctor Who (Sun Sep 28 7.30pm) which winds up with Davros and a cast of thousands and Dexter (SCTEN Sun Sep 28 10.10pm) which should cure the nightmares about the ice truck killer.

Amusing note of the week: A new season premiere of NCIS (SCTEN Tue Sep 30 8.30pm). Hard to recognize when a season ends amongst all those repeats.

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Promised riches, promoted ad nauseam throughout the unimpressive Olympics coverage have finally reached our screens, with all networks flooding schedules with new programming this week. And the new rush of observational documentary and lifestyle programming looks just like the old, except that they’ve joined two concepts to make one show – Outback Wildlife Rescue (Prime, Sun, 7pm), for example, takes the RSPCA concept, adds a bit of wildlife doco and throws in Ernie Dingo for good measure. You can just imagine the producers of The Outdoor Room (Prime, Sun, 6.30pm) and Bondi Rescue: Bali (SCTEN, Wed, 7.30pm) sitting around thinking ‘let’s come up with an idea that involves us getting to travel’.

The new shows kick off on Monday with Taken Out (SCTEN, Mon-Fri, 7pm), a kind of noughties version of ’80s dating show Perfect Match and 90210 (SCTEN, Mon, 8.30pm), a noughties version of ’90s teen drama Beverly Hills 90210. Blackbox recommends avoiding both. However do check out Secret Diary of a Call Girl (WIN, Tue, 10.30pm).

On Tuesday John Doyle (better known as Rampaging Roy Slaven) and Tim Flannery jump in a car instead of a tinnie and discover the north in Two in the Top End (ABC1, Tue Sep 16, 8pm). Follow that up with new cop drama Rush (SCTEN, Tue, 9.30pm) starring Roger Corser and Callan Mulvey of Underbelly (which is as good a reason as any for Blackbox viewing).

Wednesday, it’s worth sticking with The Hollowmen (ABC1, Wed Sep 24, 9pm). Many have been disappointed and, while it won’t have you rolling on the floor, it’s actually clever satire – maybe a bit too close to the bone. Elsewhere there’s the much promoed world tour of lavatories, Kenny’s World (SC10, Wed, 8pm).

Thursday is reserved for new glitzy Gold Coast cop drama The Strip (WIN Thu 8.30pm), starring McLeods Daughters’ Aaron Jeffrey and Frankie.J.Holden who seems to be in demand as a cop lately.

Don’t let the glossy new shows blind you to an absolute nostalgic gem. Doctor Who: The Stolen Earth (Sun, Sep 21, 7.30pm) sees a plethora of the Doctor’s companions on hand including new girl Donna, Rose Taylor, Martha Jones and ’70s stalwart Sarah-Jane Smith. In those circumstances, the Doctor should consider taking on an earth-style nickname – Heff perhaps? Follow the Doctor with Black Box’s new fave show, Dexter (SCTEN Sun 10.40pm).

And when is somebody going to buy The Wire off WIN? Black Box is not in the least bit surprised at the contempt WIN showed for such a great show but now it’s getting really hard to find the DVDs! Please Auntie, do what you did for West Wing fans a few years ago – buy The Wire and keep it in a reliable and reasonable timeslot.

One offs to look out for include Australia’s Greatest Islands (Prime, Sat Sep 13, 6.30pm), Flipping Out (SBS, Tue Sep 16, 10.05pm) which is about young Israelis who travel to India after their compulsory military service, Rear Window (ABC2, Sat Sep 20, 8.30pm) which kicks off a Hitchcock season, Great Australian Albums (SBS, Sat Sep 20, 10pm) and The Boy Who Sees Without Eyes (ABC2, Wed Sep 17, 8.20pm). And the new series of NCIS (SCTEN, Tue Sep 16, 8.30pm) winds up. No doubt the rolling repeats will continue.

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Patriotic souls will have noticed Prime bombarding viewers with ads for dramas that are coming soon. Those looking for respite from Johanna Griggs and Bruce McAvaney will have noticed the same phenomenon on the other networks. Amongst all the froth and bubble about the exciting new schedule, at press time, on the commercial networks, there was only a start date for one – new Australian drama Packed to the Rafters (Prime, Tue Aug 26, 8.30pm). Starring Rebecca Gibney, Erik Thomson, Michael Caton and a bunch of relative newcomers (including Kick’s Zoe Ventoura), it’s about a suburban family and doesn’t involve police, a legal firm or a doctor’s surgery, which has got to be good.

Prime has also announced a start date for the Jack Thompson–hosted Find my Family (Prime, Tue Aug 26, 8pm), which helps people find family members they have never known. And yes, just in case you missed the 500 ads, Australian Idol (SCTEN, Sun Aug 24, 7.30pm) is back.

And what of the Olympics? The lack of HG and Roy was a great disappointment. Sure the timing was lousy and there’s probably few people watching anyway, but Andrew Daddo had to have known his show was just filler, something to plug the gap between Sunrise and competition. The Dream was must-watch-telly. Yum Cha was not.
And as far as the general coverage goes, there was too little focus on those odd sports that you only ever see at the Olympics. Rather than see Grant Hackett’s heat swim repeated 15 times, it might have been nice to see more table tennis, handball or BMX.

While not dedicating themselves to blanket coverage, it’s safe to say that the folks at good old Auntie will have more Paralympic coverage than any broadcaster in the world, with two one-hour highlight packages (ABC1 daily from Sun, Sep 7, 6pm and 11.30pm) and stacks of live stuff on ABC2 and ABCHD. Head of the commentary panel for the live broadcast of the Opening Ceremony (ABC1 and ABC2, Sat Sep 6, 9.50pm) will be Adam Hills.

Between ABC and SBS, there are quite a few gems over the next fortnight, including what they’re calling series two of Hollowmen (ABC1, Wed Sep 3, 9pm). There’s also the new comedy from the people behind The Librarians. Small Business (ABC1, Wed Sep 3, 9.30pm) stars Stupid Man’s Wayne Hope and like The Librarians, will grow on you but probably not become don’t-miss-TV.

Top Gear’s affable, yet oft pilloried James May takes his technical ability on a journey looking at some of the world’s technological advances in James May’s 20th Century (SBS, Sun Aug 24, 8.30pm). Like Top Gear, it’s much more entertaining than it sounds – he talks to Status Quo about the electric guitar, gets his brain photographed while looking at cars and takes a drive with Jamiroquai’s Jay Kay in his replica Lunar Rover.

In the don’t miss basket is Roller Derby Dolls (ABC, Tue Sep 9, 8pm), a doco about a group of Brisbane women who have just set up a roller-derby league. The full contact women-only sport is having a resurgence lately and plans are afoot for a local league. Check out the doco and then visit http://crdl.wikispaces.com for more info on what’s happening locally.

Still on full contact sport and repeated Murderball (ABC2, Wed Sep 3, 8.30pm) is about the guys who play wheelchair rugby.

Other shows to catch include the SBS Australian movie season starting with Look Both Ways (SBS, Sun Aug 24, 9.05pm) and Home Song Stories (SBS, Sun Aug 31, 9.10pm), Great Australian Albums: The Go Betweens -16 Lovers Lane (SBS, Sat Sep 6, 10pm), Nynne (SBS, Sat Sep 6, 11pm) a kind of Danish Bridget Jones made into a series, The Cook and the Chef (ABC1, Wed Sep 3, 6.30pm) go to Nimbin and new series of Southpark (SBS, Mon Aug 25, 8.30pm), The Mighty Boosh (SBS, Mon Aug 25, 8.55pm), Shameless (SBS, Mon Aug 25, 10.05pm), Mythbusters (SBS, Sat Aug 30, 7.30pm) and Rockwiz (SBS, Sat Aug 30, 9.20pm).

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If you don’t like sport or re-runs of the crap Star Wars films (like Phantom Menace), stock up on DVDs. Now. The Olympics is ‘just days away’. Buried somewhere within Prime’s 127-page press kit was the revelation that from the Opening Ceremony (Prime, Fri Aug 8, 9pm) to the Closing Ceremony (Prime, Sun Aug 24, 10pm), the network will have wall-to-wall coverage. Beijing is two hours behind so live coverage will start in the morning and run until bedtime. And there’ll be no Dream this time around. Of course, never ones to miss the action, Sunrise (Prime, 6am, Mon-Fri) - the only show not really affected by live coverage - will be broadcasting from Beijing from August 4.

Even Auntie, who usually couldn’t give a stuff about ratings, will take the Working Dog’s political staffer satire Hollowmen (ABC, Wed, 9.30pm) off air during the games. SBS will join in the action with Olympic team sports such as handball, beach volleyball, women’s basketball and football as well as boxing and cycling.
Cue cheering from the bleachers - Big Brother is over. And perhaps after the dismal ratings, it will mean an end to the torture (and Kyle and Jackie O’s telly career). This year’s contestants are such duds that SCTEN has used footage of original housemates like Sara Marie in the promos.

McLeod’s Daughters (WIN, Wed, 8.30pm) has returned for its final season - about time too, with the original daughters far, far away.

Top Gear (SBS, Mon, 7.30pm) has become such a staple part of the Black Box diet, it often doesn’t get the glory it deserves. Watch out for two upcoming episodes - the boys take on the Britcar 24-hour enduro with their own biodeisel (Jul 24) and turn an electric car into a radio-controlled vehicle just for sport. Don’t miss it.

The magnificent Flight of the Conchords (SCTEN, Sun Jul 27, 10.40pm) is winding up. Yes, it took a while to get into a groove with this show but once it got under the skin it featured prominently on The Black Box ‘don’t miss even if your pants are on fire’ list. Ahh Jermaine, Brett and Murray, especially Murray - we’ll be waiting for the next fan club meeting. Also finishing up is Mark loves Sharon (SCTEN, Mon Aug 4, 10.30pm) which, although it had its moments, is a large comedic ocean away.

Also getting the quick wind-up through double episodes is Lipstick Jungle (Prime, Sun Jul 27, 9.30pm).
After just bringing Futurama to the screen, SCTEN has removed it from the schedule to bring back the last eps of Rules of Engagement (SCTEN, Thu Jul 24, 7.30pm) and Back to You (SCTEN, Thu Jul 24, 8pm).
If you like Xtreme sports, check out Ice Road Truckers (SCTEN, Sat 6.30pm), except it’s not a sport, it’s a job, and these guys are more crazy than your average boardrider.

The mY Generation series takes a look at Student Politics in Electioneering (SBS, Wed Aug 6, 8pm) and living online with Age of Avatars (SBS, Wed Aug 6, 10.05pm) while Virtual Adultery and Cyberspace Love (SBS, Wed Aug 6, 10.35pm) looks at what happens when it all goes too far.

Looking for something to do on a cold and miserable Sunday afternoon? Check out Australia’s Celtic Country (SCTEN, Sun Aug 3, 3pm) where Mal Leyland visits New England - if you haven’t got a fire at home there’s bound to be one here to make you feel cosy - and Journeys to the Ends of the Earth (SCTEN, Sun Aug 3, 4pm) where David Adams searches for living indigenous culture in remote places.

Pants on fire playlist: Dexter (SCTEN, Sun, 9.40pm), Burn Notice (SCTEN, Mon, 9.30pm) Hollowmen (ABC, Wed, 9.30pm).

Don’t miss This is Your Life Presents… Bert’s 70th Birthday (WIN, Wed Jul 23, 7.30pm). Yes it will be full of old farts but that won’t stifle Bert’s wit.

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Just as the inner workings of Melbourne’s underworld were revealed in Underbelly (sorry, ‘hit-series Underbelly’), so too are the inner workings of Canberra about to be revealed. No seedy underside of Canberra’s nightlife, no plot to rob national institutions, not even roundabout rage - The Hollowmen (ABC, Wed Jul 9, 9.30pm) is set in the arena of federal politics (and no, Carl Williams doesn’t break out of jail to organize a hit on Kevin). Hollowmen is a dramedy set in the offices of the Central Policy Unit, set up by the PM to get re-elected. The Working Dog production, written by Santo Cilauro, Tom Gleisner and Rob Sitch is set to do for political staffers what Frontline did for current affairs television. Unlike the disaster of Corridors of Power a few years ago, this is likely to cut much closer to the bone. It would be nice if just once a series set in Canberra moved away from the house on the hill…

If you’ve been watching the annoying ads for Mark loves Sharon (SCTEN, Mon Jun 30, 9.30pm), don’t be fooled; they haven’t found a couple as dumbly entertaining as Nick and Jess. The show is a spoof (the network’s calling it a mockumentary) of the rash of American reality shows like Newlyweds from the team behind The Wedge. That in itself is a reason to switch off. Mark is apologetic sportstar Mark Wary and his girlfriend Sharon (or is it Karen). The Mark Wary sketches were the best part of The Wedge, but that’s not a great compliment.

Still on the topic of football stars off the rail is Valentine’s Day (ABC, Sun Jul 6, 8.30pm), a movie starring Rhys Muldoon as a famous Aussie Rules footballer fallen on hard times who is given community service to coach a small town football team. Nice to see fallen footy stars as fodder for the box, it makes a change from crime drama - at least a detour, anyway.

Prime’s new girlie show, Lipstick Jungle (Prime, Sun Jun 29, 9.30pm), starts this week. Although it’s based on a Candace Bushnell book, it’s got a much sleazier, more plastic feel than Sex and the City - worth a watch, but maybe not a girls’ night in. It follows the debut of Grey’s Anatomy spin-off Private Practice (Prime, Sun Jun 29, 8.30pm).

Good news - the Doctor is in. Following on from the Christmas special with Kylie, Dr Who (ABC, Sun Jul 6, 7.30pm) returns to the box with Catherine Tate (of the Catherine Tate Show) reprising her role as the runaway bride from a previous Christmas special and becoming his sidekick.

In a bid to stretch out its programming, SBS is following SC10’s lead and repackaging its long-running programs - we’ve already had repackaged Top Gear (SBS, Sat, 7.30pm) and now it’s South Park: The Early Years (SBS, Mon, 9pm). There were some classics though - Cartman Gets an Anal Probe is a case in point.

It may seem a bit tabloid for Aunty, but Family Fortunes (ABC, Tue Jul 15, 8pm) looks at dramatic reversals of fortune in some of Australia’s more high-profile families. Developed by the team that brought us Dynasties, the show’s approach is more Australian Story than Today Tonight, which is just as well because the first family under the microscope is that of racing legend Peter Brock. Watch out for tales of a pokie king, Victorian landed gentry and artist John Olsen. Not hard to guess whose fortunes went south.

For the kid in us all, The Mr Men Show (ABC, Thu Jul 17, 4pm) returns with new adventures from Little Miss Chatterbox and Mr Nervous. Tune in and ask the inevitable - which Mr Men are you?

Docos to look out for this fortnight include Car of the Future (SBS, Sun Jul 6, 8.30pm), Bill Gates: How a geek changed the world (SBS, Tue Jul 8, 8.30pm), The Seven Sins of England (SBS, Tue Jul 1, 10pm) and A Northern Town (SBS, Fri Jul 11, 7.30pm) which looks at Kempsey, known as the most racist town in Australia.

Sports fanatics should tune in for the UEFA Euro 2008 Final (SBS, Mon Jun 30, 4am) and the Tour de France (SBS, Sat Jul 5 to Sun Jul 28, 10pm).

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The big news this week is that Sesame Street icons Bert and Ernie will reveal their legs in a new claymation series from the folks at The Children’s Television Workshop. The nerdy pair, with a penchant for rubber duckies, will star in Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures (ABC, Wed Jun 25, 8.35am).

OK, there is one bigger piece of news - Dr Who: Voyage of the Damned (ABC, Sun Jun 29, 7.30pm). Britain loves a panto at Christmas and there’s been no bigger Christmas draw than ‘our’ Kylie. So this little Christmas offering, with the space ship Titanic and Kylie, had all the trimmings for the sci-fi series not scared to laugh at itself.

All those of you still at home mooching off your folks, stand up. You are to blame for yet another observational doco The Nest (SBS, Sat Jul 5, 7.30pm). Apparently two thirds of those between 20 and 26 are still at home - and they called Gen-X the slacker generation.

Flight of The Conchords (SCTEN, Sun, 10.40pm) is a grower. On the first watch the subtlety of the deadpan humour can be lost, but give it a second go and it will soon be on your must watch list.

While The Gruen Transfer (ABC, Wed, 9pm) has many of the hallmarks of the ABC’s comedy panel shows (such as Good News Week (SCTEN), Spicks and Specks (ABC Wed 8pm) and Wil Anderson’s televisual launch pad, The Glass House), it burrows into a profession that’s managed to keep its tactics to itself for a long time - more incisive and creative than World’s Greatest Ads and more entertaining too.

The networks are squarely aiming at their girlie audience (women and the boys that like girlie shows) with the ‘new Sex and the City’ Lipstick Jungle and Grey’s Anatomy spin-off Private Practice due to make Prime’s prime-time list this month. The former is based on the best-selling book by Sex creator Candace Bushnell and the latter is the star vehicle for McDreamy and McSteamy ex Kate Walsh. Scheduled timeslot TBC.

Nice to see the Top Gear guys are pumping the money back into the show rather than extending their own garages - in Top Gear Botswana Special (SBS, Mon Jun 23, 7.30pm), they race each other across Africa in 30-plus-year-old cars. Look out for the Stig on the London tube and Hammond on a bike the following week.

While binge drinking appears to be a modern problem, The Seven Sins of England (SBS, Tue Jul 1, 10pm) takes us back through the UK’s 1000-year-old drinking problem, discovering the first law to control binge-drinking was passed in 616AD and other tidbits. It’s followed by Attack of the Happy People (SBS, Tue Jul 1, 10.55pm) which charts the history of ecstasy.

While Auntie’s mantra might be to provide us with quality entertainment, SBS, aside from their second language responsibilities, seem to be tasked with finding the weird and wonderful. The Fabulous Flag Sisters (SBS, Fri Jul 4, 7.30pm) a doco about an Italian TV trio of drag queens, including an Australian, is certainly that.

If you’ve ever dreamed of being Australia’s Next Top Model (girls and guys), you’ll have to drive to Sydney this weekend for the audition (details at www.yahoo7.com.au/supermodel ). Apparently Canberrans aren’t pretty (or interested) enough to rate a local audition.

What is it with the networks and movies? How many times have we seen Bridget Jones’s Diary (Prime, Fri Jun 13, 9.30pm), America’s Sweethearts (Prime, Fri Jun 20, 9.30pm) and My Best Friend’s Wedding (SCTEN, Fri Jun 27, 9.30pm) in the past six months? Isn’t it about time for some new movies or even a re-hash some much older movies? The viewing public can probably recite Bridget’s snow in her undies speech easier than Hamlet’s soliloquy.

New to the box are a new series of Futurama (SCTEN, Thu Jun 19, 7.30pm), Ice Road Truckers (SCTEN, Sat Jun 28, 6.30pm), the return of Psych (Sat, Jun 21, 7.30pm) and Calling all Aliens (SBS, Sun Jun 22, 8.30pm).
Don’t miss Nelson Mandela’s 90th Birthday Concert. Just because.

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News of the week - no Dream at Beijing. Seven have decided that without an audience in the studio and with many events running into the late night slot, Roy and HG won’t be on the plane. Instead, they’re offering a morning show, Yum Cha, complete with requisite Daddo (Andrew). More sleep looks like an appealing option.

Eurovision tragics will be aware that British commentator Terry Wogan takes the Eurotrash pop comp very seriously, in fact the comedy that comes from that has been a feature of Eurovision coverage for many years. But Terry lost that edge and started sounding like a whiney two-year-old with nappy rash. While his suggestion that Eastern Europe, as it divides itself up into smaller and smaller slivers of land, has a stranglehold on voting is probably fair enough, his whining about the UK being last on the leader board is not. The UK, a country that has produced some of the world’s biggest recording artists, regularly sends a range of crap musicians to Eurovision. While Terry takes the whole thing very seriously, the UK public doesn’t, with the most famous British Eurovision winners including Brotherhood of Man, Bucks Fizz, Lulu and Katrina and the Waves. Enough said. And as for Terry, he’s got a tough decision to make - will he be back next year? What else is he going to do.

From Eurotrash to the seedier Hollywood kind, with two trashy celebrities trying to redeem themselves by appearing on sitcoms.

Paris’s star turn in My Name is Earl (Prime, Sun, 8pm) didn’t improve her standing as an actress, but don’t miss Britney’s star turn in How I Met Your Mother (Prime, Thu Jun 5, 7.30pm). And Britney’s biggest shock yet? She can act.

Top Gear (SBS, Mon/Sat 7.30pm) is back with a vengeance and on June 9, they revisit one of their stupidest (and most hilarious) stunts yet. And it gets bigger. The amphibious car race will this time be a race across the English Channel.

For something almost as funny, check out Kung Faux (ABC2, Mon, Jun 2) which mashes up ‘70s martial arts movies, adds music, re-dubbed hip-hop voices and comic book graphics.

The folks at SCTEN are up to their old tricks - if it works put it on as often as you can - running double episodes of House (SCTEN, Wed, 8.30pm). Just like NCIS, the second ep is a repeat.

More good news for The Strip, the police drama set on the Gold Coast that’s in production - one of the Underbelly writers is on board.

It was bound to happen sooner or later - Eataholics (ABC, Wed Jun 4, 8.30pm) is an observational documentary series, trying to change the eating habits of Britain’s fatty boombas with nutrition and psychology. Should be an easy fix. One; get rid of all that stodgy food and two; learn that a takeaway vindaloo doesn’t really rate as ‘exotic’.

Culture this week comes from Talking Heads (ABC, Mon Jun 2, 6.30pm) and an interview with architect Glenn Murcutt.

Fans of AC/DC will want to tune into The Guitar Show (ABC2, Sun Jun 8, 1.30pm) for an interview with Angus Young. It’s a repeat but if you missed it the first time, you’ll want to set the recorder.

Other music highlights include The Cure: Trilogy, Live in Berlin (ABC2, Mon Jun 2, 10.25pm) where the band played three albums in their entirety live over two nights in 2002.

If you didn’t give up about two seasons ago, you’ll want to tune in for the season finale of Lost (Prime, Thu Jun 5, 9.30pm). This modern take on Gilligan’s Island seems like it’s never going to end. Also winding up is The State Within (ABC, Thu Jun 5, 8.30pm).

So soon? Gladiators (Prime, Sun Jun 1, 6.30pm) is up to its second quarter final.

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Autumn is the Blackbox pick for season of the year. Despite the fact it requires enduring the most biased awards show in the world – The Logies – autumn is also host to the best. That’s right ladies and gentlemen – it’s time once again for the glorious kitsch of the Eurovision Song Contest. The continent that takes itself seriously when it comes to culture and the arts is also able to laugh at the absurdity of this multilingual pop-fest. It’ll be held in Belgrade and this year there are semi-finals over two nights (SBS, Fri May 23, Sat May 24, 8.30pm) before the final (SBS, Sun May 25, 7.30pm). It’s hosted by Julia Zemiro and of course there’ll be the obligatory commentary from Terry Wogan – it wouldn’t be Eurovision without it. So grab your friends, put together a spread of the most retro Euro snacks you can muster, open the champagne and have a sweep – guaranteed to keep you on the edge of your seat longer than the Melbourne Cup.

If you have been wondering why the likes of Andrew Denton and Adam Hills were going hard at the product placement at The Logies or have been ringing the ABC to complain about ads, you’ll be pleased to know it was all publicity for The Gruen Transfer (ABC, May 28, 9pm), a show about advertising, hosted by Wil Anderson.

While many are still reeling from the disappearance of the ultimately watchable Terminator spin-off from WIN’s schedule, the folks at Prime have shoved Dirty, Sexy Money tapes into the basement and shut the door. Its demise makes way for a new series of the fabulous Boston Legal, which has made even Blackbox come around to Shatner. Perhaps it’s the fallibility of Denny Crane that makes the most annoying Starfleet captain actually likeable.

The runaway success of Underbelly (rumoured to be followed by a prequel) has lead to resurgence in the production of crime dramas. The Strip, a 13-part police drama for WIN, is about to start filming on the Gold Coast. And while the location may have leant itself to a CSI Miami feel, with Wildside and East West 101 producers and stars such as Aaron Jeffrey and Bob Morley, it’s likely to have a distinctly Australian flavour. It’s good to see Australian television finally finding stories in our cities (where most of us live) rather than the outback or seachange destinations where we holiday.
Prime follows the crime route with Crimes That Shook the World (Prime, Tue May 13, 9.30pm) beginning with The Green River Killer.

As predicted last column, Louis Theroux (Prime, Mon May 19, 10.30pm) has been packaged as a series and is well worth a look.

If you’ve been wondering what Lateline (ABC1, weeknights, 10.30pm) host Tony Jones has been up to since he cut his hours back, don’t fret – you’re about to see a lot more of him. He’s already on air with Q&A (ABC1, Thu, 9.35pm) and his new vehicle ABC Fora (ABC2, Thu May 29, 5.35pm and Fri May 30, 8am). The show promises talks, lectures, public addresses and debates from Australia and around the world. So if opinion and debate is your bag, Tony will help you out.

The development of ABC2 has given Auntie the chance to take risks on programs that it might otherwise have avoided. Moving Wallpaper (ABC2, Fri May 30, 8.30pm) and its partner program Echo Beach (Fri May 30, 8.55pm) are a good example. Moving Wallpaper is a comedy drama about the making of a TV soap and Echo Beach is the soap (or the subtle piss-take of a soap in this case).

Science geeks or the inquisitive should tune into Absolute Zero (SBS, Sun June 1, 8.30pm).

Black Box thumbs up for the new series of Big Love (SBS, Sat, 8.30pm), The State Within (ABC1, Thu, 8.30pm) and the new series of Spooks (ABC1, Fri, 9.20pm)

Don’t miss Taxi Driver (ABC2, Sat 31 May, 9.30pm) for De Niro’s classic line and of course the aforementioned Eurovision Song Contest.

Blackbox

Big Brother (SCTEN, daily, 7pm) is upon us and it appears there are some changes… apart from adding TV’s biggest tool Kyle and his vapid sidekick Jackie O as hosts. It’s pure irony that the man who couldn’t last five minutes on the ill-fated celebrity version of the show because of the coffee (shameless publicity seeking alert), will be grilling the ‘contestants’. On the plus side, this pair is more likely to give the show it’s goldfish bowl quality. It always felt a bit too much like Gretel was protecting her kids. From the promos, it appears they’ve also rid themselves of the decision to fill the house with pretty people who spend all day complaining about not having any hair product. Instead they’ve gone completely base level, choosing people who will once again make all Australians look bad. How can they put someone who thinks she’s like Pauline Hanson in the house with a clear conscience? Gone too are the late-night feeds so it’s back to telemarketing for night-owls. Unfortunately, the Friday night live show (SCTEN, Fri, 7.30pm) continues to provide a steady income for two of the ex-housemates. The one good decision – no return of the uncut show. Instead there will be a panel show, Big Mouth (SCTEN, Mon, 9.30pm), hosted by Tony Squires and Rebecca Wilson, that will appeal to an entirely new audience and almost make BB worth watching. Almost.

Most will be happy to hear of the Biggest Loser Final Weigh-in (SCTEN, Sun Apr 27, 6.30pm), even if it does herald the beginning of BB. This is the interesting episode for those that cringe at making fun of fat people’s ability to cry when asked to do push-ups. Here there will also be tears but you get to see all the contestants next to a Jenny Craig style before image.

And the TV stations are up to their old tricks. With SCTEN that means scheduling repeats to fill up prime time. Just as we get a new series of NCIS (SCTEN, Tue, 8.30pm) it’s followed by repeats at 9.30pm. How long until they start seeping into the 8.30pm timeslot? And WIN has once again alienated its sci-fi audience. After pushing Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles into a late night timeslot without warning, the show has followed so many others and disappeared altogether. Perhaps if fans had been shown a little respect by being told where it had gone…

Intrepid doco maker and sub-cultural explorer Louis Theroux goes inside the controversial Westboro Baptist Church with the Phelps family in The Most Hated Family in America (Prime, Mon May 5, 10.40pm). While this was designed as a one-off, Prime is starting a series with it.

If you want to know how hard it is to break into the US music industry (and you haven’t watched any of the multitude of ‘follow the struggling band’ docos) then check out Flight of the Conchords (SCTEN, Sun May 11, 10.10pm).

Returns this fortnight include a new series of Boston Legal (Prime, Mon May 5, 9.30pm) – no that’s not a misprint – 9.30pm, Ugly Betty (Prime, Wed May 7, 7.30pm) and a news series of Spooks (ABC1, Fri May 16, 9.20pm).

Also worth looking out for are How to Look Good Naked (SCTEN, Mon, 8pm) where Queer Eye’s Carson Kressley teaches women the aforementioned art, Michael Palin’s New Europe (Prime, Sat May 10, 7.30pm) visits Poland, Freddie Mercury – The Tribute Concert (ABC2, Sun May 11, 2pm) and Death in Santaland (ABC1, Thu May 15, 9.35pm), which looks at a Columbine High style mass murder plot in the town of North Pole, Alaska, named and founded for the tourist dollar Lapland has managed to capture.

Buy a DVD, darn some socks or spend your evening on Facebook on Tuesday, May 13 – it’s Budget night.
Don’t miss The State Within (ABC, Thu May 2, 8.30pm) and the new series of Big Love (SBS, Sat May 10, 8.30pm) and watch out – Eurovision is coming.

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Canal Road (WIN, Wed, 9.30pm) is slated to fill the void left by Underbelly (WIN, Wed, 8.30pm). The folks at WIN are hyping the show as another gritty Melbourne drama. Tip: when the promo material consists of glamour shots and the stars were clearly chosen for their sex appeal, it might be wise to drop the gritty tag. No fat-boy here.

There are also some interesting British dramas coming our way. The State Within (ABC, Thu May 1, 8.30pm) will appeal to West Wing-nuts and fans of Spooks. This convoluted thriller set in the British Embassy in Washington during a terrorist attack looks like living up to the BBC reputation for this kind of thing.

Mistresses (Prime, Apr 29, 9.30pm) which also sits in the thriller camp (if you’re a genre nazi) looks at the lives and complex relationships of four female friends. Sounds gushy but it’s the deceit and their undoing that provides the real drama (and danger) here – the new Cold Feet.

Architecture is not usually associated with murder but the tale of iconic modernist architect Frank Lloyd Wright includes some quite salacious revelations. Frank Lloyd Wright: Murder, Myth and Modernisation (ABC2, Sun Apr 27, 8.30pm).

Just when you thought there couldn’t possibly be a new idea for an observational doco, Prime comes to the party with Find my Family. The show, which is about to begin production purports to reunite loved ones – only a slight step removed from existing missing persons shows Blackbox suspects.

Life in Cold Blood (WIN, Mon, 7.30pm) sounds like something that should find itself in a much later timeslot but the prefix ‘David Attenborough’s’ tells nature doco lovers they’re in for a ride through the reptile and amphibian part of the animal kingdom. Still all a bit creepy crawly.

Of all the things SCTEN is known for, hard-hitting public service docos aren’t usually high on the agenda. Its ‘special presentation’ The Truth about Binge Drinking (SCTEN, Mon Apr 21, 7.30pm) doesn’t do anything to change that. “Binge drinking is everywhere from city slickers to underage kids on the streets and desperate housewives to celebrities,” it says… pahleeeeze. Read “serious television project for UK pop star Michelle Heaton” – Saving Kids with Damien Leith ringing any bells?

First there was the bidding war, then the controversy about clashes with existing schedules. Now finally, Indian Premier League –Twenty20 cricket (SCTEN, mid-late evening, from Fri Apr 18) hits our screens.
Adrenalin junkies will be pleased to hear of the return of Red Bull Air Race (SCTEN, Sun Apr 20, 12pm). The first race comes direct from Abu Dhabi.

East of Everything (ABC, Sun May 4, 8.30pm) winds up this fortnight but the void will be filled with Kerry Armstrong’s new drama Bed of Roses (ABC, Sat May 10, 7.30pm). After her wealthy husband dies and leaves her bankrupt, she too returns home to her mother in Rainbow’s End. Not quite up to East of Everything but it explores similar territory.

And for some feel-good telly, watch Millionaires Mission (ABC, Tue Apr 29, 8.30pm). Eight British business leaders spend three weeks in a makeshift camp with World Vision. They each donate $32,500 to a fund and they have to use their skills to improve the living standards of a remote Ugandan community. Sure it’s just television but if the Ugandan village is better off and it shames some other big spenders (and the rest of us) into action, it’s good television.

Don’t miss Michael Palin’s New Europe (Prime, Sat, 7.30pm) where the world’s most intrepid traveller finds special parts of Eastern Europe that others won’t.

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“Are you ready?” the glossy promo material for re-invented ’90s game show Gladiators (Prime, Sun, 6.30pm) asks. Your answer should be no. Australia is very good at emulating some American traits (like a love of anything with cheese), but that WWF-style bravado/ego where the stars take themselves incredibly seriously while everyone else is laughing at you is not something we’ve managed to pull off successfully. Of course, there are those poor misguided souls who believe the WWF to be a sport – it’s on television and based on circus acts of old people. You’ll probably see some of them (and your local gym junkies) as challengers on the show. And Greg Harrigan, who made his name as a football referee should be ashamed of himself for using his whistle for this. Gladiators may turn out to be a more effective fitness motivator than The Biggest Loser (SCTEN, Mon-Fri, 7pm) – while it may not shift tellytubbies from the couch, it will surely make them switch off the box.

Lovers of anime will want to rearrange their Monday viewing schedule for Death Note (ABC2, Mon Apr 14, 9.30pm). The Madman Entertainment series features a notebook with the power of life and death and all the sorts of noble goals you expect from anime.

Art Safari (ABC2, Sun Apr 13, 9.30pm) returns for another up-close-and-personal look at interesting artists. The first ep explores the work of Japan’s answer to Warhol, Takashi Murkami.

Rev heads may want to check out Scrapheap Challenge: Tanks (ABC2, Sat Apr 19, 6.35pm), because there’s nothing quite like a tank built from junk, and Mini Challenge (Prime, Sat Apr 5, 1.30pm), because there’s nothing cooler.

While the Power of 10 (WIN Mon 7.30pm) means putting up with game show contestants and host Steve Jacobs, it’s an interesting case study on what people think. Family Feud surveyed the audience for their response – this purports to survey ‘Australians’. If only they had Bert to host. Blackbox would of course be interested to hear from anyone who has been ‘surveyed’ for this program.

Looks like the folks at WIN realised there are only so many stories about a Navy Patrol boat off the Aussie coast – Sea Patrol II The Coup (WIN, Mon, 8.30pm) gives them an actual enemy.

Oh how the once-mighty have fallen. One of the hit shows from five or six years ago, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (SCTEN, Fri Apr 11, 4am), returns with new episodes in the bleary-eyed timeslot known only to serial killers, insomniacs and shift workers.

The Dog Dominatrix takes an interesting turn with It’s Me or the Fat Dog (SCTEN, Sat Apr 12, 6.30pm), putting porky pooches through their own Biggest Loser hell. And if the dog and you have been chowing down on Maccas over the summer recess, you’ll be glad to know Jamie at Home (SCTEN, Thu Apr 10) is back to save you from yourself.

Rove returns to our screens (SCTEN, Sun, 9pm) and has Delta’s new squeeze, Mr Boyband Brian McFadden, on the show on April 6.

Music viewing this week should include Planet Rock Profiles: Beck (ABC 2, Sun April 13, 1.25pm), Madness: Live at Finbsbury Park (ABC 2, Sun April 13, 4pm), Jane’s Addiction: Three Days (ABC 2, Mon April 14, 10pm).

And now we know who to blame for the woeful term emo: Red Dwarf (ABC 2, Mon, 8pm). The ep entitled Emohawk Polymorph II about an ugly tribe selling engine parts airs April 14. Pity we can’t blame them for the music. Address all complaint letters to Editor, BMA Magazine.

Lastly this week, the return of two of the greatest comedy finds in the last couple of years – The IT Crowd (ABC, Wed April 16, 9pm) is back for a second season and My Name is Earl (Prime, Sun, 8pm) is back for a third. And don’t miss Michael Palin’s Europe (Prime, Sat April 5, 7.30pm).

Blackbox

Chez Blackbox is a retro kind of place because a) retro used to be cool and b) it saves the earth but mostly because c) there are better things to spend your hard-earned on than the latest plastic box. Faced with the looming spectre of telly viewing being ripped away by the digital age, it was time to update the box, faithfully purchased in 1990, a time when only the BBC had a second channel. The choice was simple (see b and c) - a set-top box. And it’s so much more. The picture is clearer, there are no worries about chewed tapes (just pure luck the VCR’s not beta) and it has timeshifting (or TiVo for those who watch lots of US shows).

Being able to pause a show to answer the phone or make sure the dog isn’t on fire is unimaginably liberating - just don’t let the door-to-door salespeople know.

Readers who have invested heavily in an elaborate home theatre set-up that will only fit in the garage will scoff at the childlike bewilderment.

For those who have stuck with free-to-air telly and their hand-me-down set, get thee to an electronics retailer. And for retro movie buffs, ABC2 is the place to be with gems like Money Movers (ABC2, Sat Apr 5, 8.30pm) a 1978 Bruce Beresford crime flick.

Easter ain’t what it used to be. Once upon a time you could be assured of a rush of old religious classics like The Ten Commandments making it to our screens for the festive season. This year all the networks can manage is The Vicar of Dibley Easter Special (Prime, Sun Mar 23, 7.30pm). Even Auntie has just two hours with The Gospel of Judas (ABC1, Sun Mar 23, 10am) and Hymns of Glory (ABC1, Sun Mar 23, 11.30am). SBS looks at the history with The Christ Files (SBS, Fri Mar 21, 12pm). SCTEN’s contribution is The Godfather (SCTEN, Sat Mar 22, 10.30pm) - good movie but not quite the same.

Prime serves up an Easter Saturday sci-fi comedy fest with Galaxy Quest (Prime, Sat Mar 22, 8.10pm) and Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Prime, Sat Mar 22, 10.15pm).

Auntie’s new flagship dramedy East of Everything (ABC1, Sun Mar 30, 8.30pm) finally sees some air time. Penned by
SeaChange creator Deb Cox, the series follows a similar theme except the central character is a prodigal son returning home rather than an outsider coming for the first time.

Ideal (ABC2, Thu Mar 27, 9.30pm) is comedy of a different kind. The life of drug dealer Moz (played by Johnny Vegas) provides plenty of eccentric characters for this BBC 3 production. It’s made it to three seasons so far, it’s written by a comic, it’s British and has the Blackbox stamp of approval. What more do you want? If Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (WIN, Wed, 8.30pm) has you worried about the future, check out Human Version 2.0 (SBS, Sun Apr 6, 8.30pm) which looks at intelligent computers.

Music to watch includes: John Lennon: Live in New York City (ABC2, Sun Mar 30, 1.55pm), Deep Purple: Live at Montreaux (ABC2, Sun Mar 30, 4.10pm), Classic Albums: Bob Marley: Catch a Fire (ABC2, Fri Apr 4, 10.30pm) and to coincide with Wilco’s tour the doco Jeff Tweedy/Sunken Treasure Live (SBS, Fri Mar 21, 11.35pm).

Other shows to look out for include a repeat of I Love Carbuncles (ABC2, Sun Mar 30, 9.30pm) a look at concrete architecture, Captain Picard’s appearance on Extras (ABC2, Fri Apr 4, 10pm).

Life on Mars (ABC, Thu, 8.30pm) winds up on April 3 and is not be missed if you’ve been following the series. No word yet on the sequel Ashes to Ashes.

Also winding up is Stupid Stupid Man (ABC, Wed Apr 9, 9pm).

Returning this week are How I Met Your Mother (Prime, Thu Mar 20, 7.30pm) bumping Samantha Who? off our screens, a new series of The Thick of It (ABC, Wed Mar 26, 9.30pm) best described of a British comedy version of The West Wing (but probably closer to Yes, Minister) and Love Harvest (SBS, Apr 2, 8pm), which follows the lives of Australian organic farmers.

And if you thought manufactured boy bands began with Take That or *N Sync, watch Making the Monkees (ABC, Thu Mar 27, 9.35pm).