Torben Sko

Rayman Origins

Developer: Ubisoft Montpellier
Platforms: PS3, 360, Wii, 3DS, Vita
Length: 5+ hrs
Rating: Go halves with a mate

One of the unexpected hits of 2011 was the highly colourful Rayman Origins. Back from the dead, Rayman’s latest adventure received a great reception, not least because it offered a reprise from the onslaught of high action, blockbuster titles. But I must admit, whilst it certainly was an enjoyable title, particularly when carving through it with a mate, there was part of me wondering if I was liking it as much as thought I would.

It’s hard to hold a grudge against a game for being overhyped, but that certainly won’t stop me from trying to set your expectations to a more realistic level. Everything that has been said about the beauty of this game definitely holds true. There’s a fluency and crispness to the visuals that makes it a delight even just to watch. In this sense, I was kinda hoping there would be more of cut scene-driven story to it, but I wasn’t exactly surprised when there wasn’t. It is a platformer after all. Even without a story, there’s a good bit of comedy slipped in there, with some solid pelvic thrusting, some test tube dry humping and even some bouncing boobs in there to keep you chuckling.

My qualm is with the gameplay. Origins is a classic platformer, for better or worse. While the content is tried, tested and stunningly executed, it’s also not overly original. In fact, in trying to pick out a distinctive gameplay element, the best example that comes to mind are the various game homages, which in itself is a bit of an oxymoron. Even within the game itself there’s a good amount of repetition, with each world following the same template design, down to the near-identical damsels in distress. The extra abilities picked up along the way do help to keep the gameplay a bit fresh, but none of them particularly reinvigorate the game. With it also lacking much variation between enemies and very few larger, boss-style foes, the game starts to tire after a while.

With that said, this is far from a bad game. The co-op alone makes it a very enjoyable experience, assuming your mate isn’t a dickhead. At the full price tag, the cost of the game is possibly a little steep, but even still, there’s much fun to be had here.

Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception

Developer: Naughty Dog
Platform: PS3
Length: 10hrs
Rating: Take or leave

Drake’s Deception is mutton dressed as lamb, albeit the juiciest freakin’ lamb you’ve ever sampled. The gameplay is clunky, highly repetitive and, three games in, kinda tiresome. The puzzles are patronisingly simple and the game design is painfully linear. Even the sweet parkour stuff is unnecessarily outlandish now, especially given it involves Drake dying seemingly every second minute – a fact that quickly removes all sense of danger from the game.

That said, the game has still sold amazingly well and swept up many a critic, which can almost entirely be attributed to its sheer spectacle. Any PC player that tells you that consoles can’t keep up with the big boys obviously doesn’t appreciate how far optimising for a particular hardware platform can get you. In other words, for a game running on a console over half-a-decade old, this shit looks stunning. And it’s not just the quality of the visuals, it’s the sheer quantity. There’s so much detail in this game, you can’t help but appreciate how much time and effort must has gone into crafting it.

Unfortunately, while I am a man who loves his visuals, there are so many other major things you can fault in this game that there’s no free pass being handed out by this reviewer. The controls present one of the game’s most frustrating aspects, which have seemingly regressed since the last outing. The aiming is twitchier than ever and at times the camera can be difficult to orientate, and that’s coming from a Drake’s… veteran. Put a Mario/Zelda player in control and it becomes an entirely painful experience to watch.

The cover system can also provide some strife. Often I nicely asked Drake to take cover, but instead he either flatly refused to do so or chose to perform a barrel roll off a cliff. On other occasions, I tried to throw a grenade back only to have Drake rather hilariously throw it straight into the wall next to him. The dolt.

The game also feels annoyingly dumbed down; every latchable edge is nicely highlighted; only the right route forward is traversable; and most of the “puzzles” could be solved by a toddler. For a game about uncovering lost treasures, there’s almost no free-roaming exploration. As such, progressing becomes cheap and effortless, leaving the storyline with the task of holding your attention. While the set-pieces are indeed awesome, the story is ultimately underwhelming. Despite promising much regarding the relationship between mentor Sully, Drake and the bad guys, very little of this is resolved, which makes for a disappointing, and frankly crap, ending.

With all that said though, if you’re still a Drake virgin this game is definitely worth grabbing. For the veterans our there, best hold off ‘til The Last Of Us.

Batman: Arkham City

Developer: Rocksteady
Platforms: PS3, 360, PC
Length: 10+ hrs
Rating: Worth grabbing

Two years after the release of the critically acclaimed and may I add awesome Arkham Asylum, Rocksteady are back with the creatively named Arkham City.

One thing to commend Rocksteady on is their attempt to mix it up a bit. Whereas the previous Batman focused on small brawls with two or three enemies, Arkham City immediately throws mobs of angry henchmen at you. While this sounds like good fun, unfortunately with taking on that many enemies the combat system shows its rough edges. For those of you unfamiliar with how Batman’s beat-downs work, essentially you tell the B-Man which enemy you want to attack next and Batman kindly obliges, with style. When the combat works, it’s a thing of beauty, especially with the inclusion of the dual reversals and the rapid gut punch manoeuvre. The problem is that Batman doesn’t always agree on who should be taken down next. When such a decision means you end up taking another fatal blow to the Bat-sack, it starts to become a bit frustrating. Even when things are going more your way, the routine consists primarily of: mash the reversal button, flip over an enemy’s head, get a quick punch in and repeat. With the combat being such a core element of the game, it doesn’t take too long before it starts to tire a little.

Another area where Rocksteady has chosen to mix it up a bit is with the gadgetry. Whereas the first game eased you into each of Batman’s goodies, Arkham City chucks you in head first. While this isn’t bad for the returning player, having jumped platform between titles, I found it took a bit of time to get my head around it all. As it was, a bit of time elapsed before I remembered I could blow enemies up, let alone perform Scorpion-esque grapples on them. Rocksteady also neglect to tell you what you should and shouldn’t be doing sometimes. For instance, taking on the street gangs is a no-no, however clumsily sneaking up on an enemy seems to be pretty effective.

With regards to the premise, the game is genuinely interesting, at least if you ignore all the Joker voicemail crap. Once again the voice acting is top notch, as are the models and animations. My only qualm is that it feels like it’s trying too hard. Within the first ten minutes, you’ll meet half a dozen big names, many of whom are ultimately irrelevant and only serve to distract from the main story, or should I say stories, given that at any given time at least two seem to be occurring.

While this game hasn’t brought as much to the franchise as Asylum, it’s still very enjoyable and will provide you with many hours of fun, old chum.

God of War Collection – Volume II (aka Origins Collection)

Developer: Ready at Dawn (Santa Monica Studio)
Platform: PS3
Rating: Worth grabbing
Length: 5-10hrs x2

In some regards this review seems kinda pointless. If you’re like me and already like the God of War series, you’re gonna love this collection as it’s pretty much just more of the same. If however, after five GoW titles (six if you include the phone one) you haven’t been won over, then I doubt a collector’s pack is going to do much for you. That said, GoW has become renowned for being one of, if not the best, hack and slash title out there, so if you haven’t switched onto this awesome series yet, maybe now’s the time you start listening.

This second GoW collection sees the two PSP titles, Chains of Olympus (2008) and Ghost of Sparta (2010), ported over to the PS3. Not looking to do things by halves, Ready at Dawn have upgraded the models and resampled textures, making the game stand up to the 1080p test, all at 60fps. Polished or not though, the games still do reflect their PSP heritage. The settings and set pieces lack the awe-inspiring grandeur of their native sibling. Likewise, the length of each is a little brisk. Despite these and various other technical inferiorities, the GoW DNA still pulses strongly through these titles. You’re still kicking ass and occasionally taking names in a way that makes for a truly entertaining experience. If you ever had any doubts, these titles show you just how much it’s the gameplay that makes this series.

Spinning his blades in a manner that would make most ballerinas jealous, Kratos’ ability to reek carnage requires much more than an iron thumb. Varying it up between light, heavy and aerial attacks, grabs, reversals, projectiles and even spells, the game challenges the player’s approach on a per set-piece basis. And when I say challenge, I mean it. Struggling to stave off a wave of medusas or get that final boss blow in, the game almost always rewards your successful efforts by setting some more enemies on your ass. The result is a highly addictive experience. If it wasn’t for the fact you often have to re-watch the same cut scene or repeat some trivial bit of gameplay each attempt, I would almost be inclined to say it was perfect.

Despite the near flawless nature of the gameplay, it is still just the same thing you’ve done before. As such, if you’re a veteran to the series, your time may be better spent playing a new series like My Horse and Me. Alternatively, if you’re completely new to the series, I would recommend you instead check out God of War III. For those of you though whose GoW hunger lust just hasn’t been quenched yet, make sure you drink in this double shot of awesomeness.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Developer: Eidos Montreal
Platforms: PS3, 360, PC, Mac
Length: 10+ hrs
Rating: Worth grabbing

With a blockbuster line-up due this fall, the first major title to hit our shelves is Deus Ex: Human Revolution. Announced as far back as 2007, this prequel to the massively popular Deus Ex is not without high expectations. Whilst I couldn’t tell you how this plays compared to the original, I can certainly say that this third instalment is great fun to play.

The most appealing aspect of this game is how addictively difficult it is. Jump out at the wrong time and bam, you’re dead Jim. A quick reload later and you’re raring to go again. This eagerness stems from how well the game balances skill, challenge and capability. With the weapons being so high powered, each encounter feels within your grasp, at least given the right tact. With just a few shots, you can level half your opponents and with a well placed grenade, you turn the remaining foes into a not-so-synchronised gymnastics act. Adam Jessen – lead character and love child of Clint Eastwood and Neo – certainly isn’t invulnerable himself, with a grenade often spelling your demise. When you couple this gun play with some pre-scripted, highly satisfying (if not slightly corny) slow-mo stealth kills, you have yourself some pretty awesome gameplay.

While there’s more to the gameplay than just the combat, the rest of it is more of a mixed bag. The ability to upgrade, for instance, is great. There are many directions in which you can take your player, providing not only a reasonable amount of replay-ability, but a decent incentive to invest in the side missions. The interactive conversations are also handled very well, arguably far better than those in L.A. Noire. The variation between choices is genuinely intriguing and picking a logical line of questioning always seems to be well rewarded. That said, the amount of exposition in the game does become a bit tiresome, especially if you’re not familiar with the franchise.

Whilst such a criticism is pretty minor, the game isn’t without its doozies. For one, I found the cover system hugely frustrating at times, with Jessen occasionally refusing to take aim. The AI also isn’t without its issues. Enemies are very quick to dismiss the disappearance of their colleagues and refrain from giving chase if it involves using a door. Whilst such forgetful and reluctant behaviour allows for a more gung-ho playing style (my personal favourite), it does reduce the believability of the game. Artistically, the game is harder to fault, with its art style drawing inspiration from the likes of Blade Runner. That said, for the most part, everything looks plastic, characters lack detail and the lighting generally looks pretty average.

Despite its shortcomings though, overall the game is still good fun to play.

Zombie Gunship

Platforms: iPhone, iPad
Cost: $0.99
Rating: Take it or leave it

Zombie Gunship has all the elements of a great game. Visually the game looks pretty sweet and runs without fault on the iPhone 4. Gameplay-wise, it's nice and novel albeit with Modern Warfare undertones (which of course is not a bad thing). The game also features zombies, which as we all know are so hot right now. Despite all this, the game is pretty underwhelming. Whilst the first and second play through will probably provide you with enough enjoyment to justify the ticket price (yay for super-cheap gaming), it doesn't really go anywhere from there. In particular, upgrading your gunship just takes too long, with minimal payoff along the way. With no Game Centre achievements present either, the lasting appeal of this game is minimal.

Tiny Wings

Platforms: iPhone, iPad
Cost: $0.99
Rating: Definitely give it a crack

Tiny Wings does everything a good iPhone game should. Firstly, it's cute. If the iPhone charts have taught us anything (and they haven't), it's that your game must look like a Spongebob Squarepants episode to succeed. The game is also simple. Actually, it's stupidly simple with it featuring only one button. Like poker though, it's hard to master. With several hours under your belt, you'll still be hard pressed to complete it. In the process though, you'll be nicely challenged thanks to a well-paced difficulty curve. Whilst there's not a large amount of gameplay variation, it is still indescribably satisfying to play (think drifting, but without the rally cars). When you also consider that the game nicely ties each objective to a Game Centre achievement, there's definitely enough here to keep you entertained.

Doodle God/Doodle God 2/Doodle Devil/Doodle Farm

Platforms: iPhone, iPad, Win 7, Android, Web (Flash)
Cost: $0.99
Rating: Don't bother

I have a soft spot for point-and-click adventure games. Despite their laborious gameplay mechanics (try every conceivable object-person combination until something yields), the accompanying storyline and characters make the games worthy of your many hours. In bold step Doodle God (and its various incarnations) has chosen to replicate this formulae, albeit without the story part. While many say that it still makes for a great game, I disagree. I didn't hate the game. In fact I initially found it fun. But once you get to a stage where you're using brute force to push your way through, the experience becomes more frustrating than it is rewarding. While the game includes quotes along the way, in the absence of having them read out by Eric Idle (Discworld reference), there's just not enough here to keep you interested.

Infamous 2

Developer: Sucker Punch Productions
Platform: PS3
Length: 10+hrs

As the name would suggest, Infamous 2 follows on from its well-received 2009 predecessor. As with all good sequels, it borrows the majority of its gameplay from the original. While this means that a few of us will already own the t-shirt, at least it's working with good material. 

One of the positives that carries over is the nice balance between open-worldedness and linear storyline. As before not only are there a tonne of side missions and distractions, they actually do well to reward you for indulging in them. Albeit with the occasional framerate drop, the visuals are also once again very solid, with special credit awarded for the lively character they infuse the city with. That said there was one visual exception that bugged me, namely the females. From their movements to their general appearance, the female characters just don't seem as realistic as their male counterparts. Put simply, they seem like they've been created by men.

One area where the game nicely distinguishes itself is with regards to protagonist Cole's powers. Unlike the somewhat frustrating God of War format where you lose your powers at the start of each game, for the most part you actually continue from where you left off before. Thanks to this, from the very start you'll be whizzing around the city, kicking arse and taking names. When time comes to upgrade, you'll be rewarded with some juicy stuff, including the ability to toss cars around and cast giant electric tornados at people. While these abilities make this second instalment all the more enjoyable than the first, they fall short of out and out awesomeness. It's not because the moves aren't fun enough, but rather that you don't really get the chance to unleash them enough. 

It's a shame really, for a game that has you controlling a guy who practically pisses lightning bolts in a city full of creatures deserving an arse kicking, the majority of gameplay turns out to be pretty mundane. This is thanks in part to the fact that the combat, whilst fun, isn't going to win you over on its own, not like God of War's did at least. Unfortunately the supporting gameplay is pretty lacklustre too, made worse by how repetitive it is. Several of the missions alone are carbon copies of each other, while others will have you doing the same task multiple times just for shits and giggles

Overall Infamous 2 is a solid game. However, had Sucker Punch decided to focus on making it a high impact experience, rather than drawing the whole thing out and had they hired some female staff to boot, it could have been awesome.

F.E.A.R. 3

F.E.A.R. 3

Developer: Day 1 Studios

Platforms: PS3, 360, PC

Length: 5+hrs

Rating: Worth grabbing with a mate

F.E.A.R.3 is a tricksy game to review. There’s nothing that really stands out. The graphics are solid, but not brilliant. The level design is engaging, yet not breathtaking. Even the controls are slightly off; some of the button mapping feels somewhat counter-intuitive. However, despite the absence of any particular brilliance, the game still manages to serve up a surprisingly enjoyable experience.

There are a few key elements that make this game work so well, first and foremost being the inclusion of a split-screen co-op mode. Like all the perks I’m about to mention it’s not revolutionary stuff, but it works thanks largely to each character’s unique abilities and the way they interact. While one can slow down time and slide sweep, the other can posses enemies and play as them or just as quickly turn them into a human fireworks display. By introducing this difference, the game ends up delivering not only a shared experience, but one that’s simultaneously unique. Another satisfying benefit that this variance provides is the way it removes any potential competition between the players, given that each has their own moments to shine.

As touched upon, the abilities of each character also provide a great source of enjoyment. Sprinting at a zombie, fly kicking it in the balls, shooting its head off and watching its now twice-dead corpse hurtle away provides a level of satisfaction not matched by many other games. Judging from the hearty chortling coming from my fellow player, I suspect the other character is as equally enjoyable to use [as the other player, I can attest to the enjoyment of squaring off against an enemy, only to have your partner scream in from off screen with a mighty toe-curling wap to their balls – BOSSMAN].

Another perk to speak of is the difficulty level. For the most part, you’ll be pushing through the levels at a reasonably satisfying speed, however every so often it will serve up a moment to remind you what it’s like to fail at something. There’s a particular bit that comes to mind featuring a mech. We tried numerous times without success, until eventually we pulled out some crazy teamwork shit to end its evil robotic ways. Whilst this potentially sounds like the recipe for an entirely frustrating experience, the complete opposite was true. The moment felt challenging, yet not impossible and what’s more, it actually involved some intelligence for once.

Having sung it praises for roughly half a page now, I still don’t think I would put this game in the Must Buy category. It’s certainly a very enjoyable experience, particularly with a friend. However it’s not an overly memorable one. I guess in that sense this game is like a case of beer, which definitely ain’t a bad thing.

Operation Flashpoint: Red River

Operation Flashpoint: Red River
Developer: Codemasters
Platforms: PS3, 360, PC
Length: 1hr
Rating: Don't bother

Going into this game my expectations were low. After all, I'm not really a tactical-shooter kind of guy. The idea of continually issuing orders to brain-dead subordinates sounds more like hard work than fun. But there was a part of me wanting to be surprised and even possibly impressed by how they'd managed to make the squad controls not only effortless, but fun to boot. Well, dream on dickhead, cause this game blows chunks.

With the possible exception of the audio, there's nothing outstanding about Flashpoint. The graphics are ordinary - if not below average, the character models and scenery are bland, the controls overloaded and the aiming twitchy. Far worse than these flaws is just how boring parts of the game are. You spend a good portion of the first hour sitting in a damn jeep, listening to a racial stereotype lecture you about how hellish war is. In its defence, I expect the developers would claim that the inclusion of such inane moments makes the experience more realistic. Such an argument would be greatly flawed though, given how regularly Flashpoint likes to remind you that this isn't real, and is in fact just a game. One of my favourite examples of this is with the med-packs, which are apparently so effective that they need only be held near a teammate to revive them. That's some Star Trek shit happening right there.

Another thing letting down not only the realism, but also just how enjoyable the game is, is the AI. Not only are the enemies almost clinically retarded, but annoyingly, so are your teammates. On numerous occasions I had them push me out of my cover, just before they themselves decided to perform an unsuccessful Captain Spears effort (go grab Band of Brothers if you're not sure what I'm talking about). In that regard, you know a game has failed when you take pleasure from seeing your teammates getting mown down. Another frustration of note was with regards to how lost I felt whilst playing. Frequently our stereotyped friend would be shouting orders at you as if you've been doing this shit for years. Well, I haven't and frustratingly the game does a terrible job of explaining how to do anything other than shoot. Case in point being that I ran around with my flashlight on for roughly the first hour. Luckily most of this was spent in a jeep, so no real harm done.

Despite all its faults, I'm sure there will still be a special group of people who will love this shit. It's safe to say I'm not one of them and I expect it's unlikely you'll be one of them either.

DiRT 3

DiRT 3
Developer: Codemasters
Platform: PC, 360,
PS3
Length: 5+ hours
Rating: Worth grabbing

With poor old Colin McRae having passed on several years ago now, it seems like it's finally time to put to rest his name too. But I suspect his name doesn't feature in this issue's game title not for this reason, but rather because Dirt 3 seems so much fresher than Colin McRae 8 (no corpse pun intended - although obviously it was because I just wrote that). Whilst it still doesn't quite match the likes of EA, who are about to put out their 18th Need for Speed title, I do somewhat shudder when a sequel is released within anything less than two years of its predecessor (I'm looking at you Modern Warfare).

What differentiates the two series though is that Codemasters, the developers behind Dirt, seem like they actually want to make a good racing game, whereas the horde behind the NFS franchise seem more motivated by what will look in a trailer. In that vein, Dirt 3 continues its trademark classiness with the return of its stylish menus. Whereas Dirt 2's were flashy at the expense of practicality, this time form and function are well balanced. The quality established by the menus is carried throughout the game. Dirt 3 features some spunky looking cars and courses, making it visually a more appealing game than GT5. Sure, not so much with regards to how realistic particular bits looks, but rather how coherent and consistent the overall aesthetic is.

With regards to the actual game-play, it's still nicely varied albeit with a greater focus on the rally component. Consequently, the game feels more mature and mellow than Dirt 2, which for me is only a good thing. The game still longs to be ‘hip’, what with players being able to upload their replays to YouTube (as if there wasn't already enough crap on that site). Likewise, there's a new power-sliding mode, known as Gymhana, which actually does quite a lot to add some variety to the otherwise all racing affair. Touching on controls briefly, the cars are somewhat tricky to handle, however this does do well to create a real sense of power. Throw in some tarmac and you've got yourself one balls-to-the-wall racer. When it inevitably then goes tits up, you can still rather clumsily rewind time. Whilst this feature does well to remove those moments of sheer rage, it does so at the cost of cheapening the win.

Having now played both Dirt 2 and 3, I can say that this game is a definite improvement. Whilst I still probably wouldn't shell out the cash for it if I was already a proud Dirt 2, GT5 or even a Shift owner, I would point someone in Dirt 3's direction over all others.

Magicka

Magicka
Developer: Arrowhead Game Studios
Platforms: Windows
Length: 1 - 5hrs
Price: $10
Rating: Don't bother

I was very close to not bothering with this review. It wasn't because I'm lazy, nor was it due to any particular objection to Magicka's game-play per se, but rather its inability to work at all. Admittedly the single player probably would have worked from the get go, but really this isn't the kind of game you play on your own, and if it is you need to get out more, mate. Having committed to the multiplayer, we proceeded to piss about for roughly an hour before the game finally decided to play ball. Unbeknownst to us, the idea of searching for a mate's server or specifying their IP address was apparently a foolish one, the game instead requiring us to exit and invite each other from there... obviously.

Terrible networking aside, I had higher hopes for the game-play, which for the most part is pretty fun with you being, “Oh, just wait the screen went black. Um, is yours black too?”, with us at this point having chosen to use a third party chat tool. “No? No worries, I'll just relaunch the game and... oh, I can still hear the audio from my old game, despite the game now being quite clearly closed. Never mind, how frustrating can a loud, continuous drone be?”

So, as I was saying, the game-play is quite fun, with you being able to... “What? The game appears to have crashed. I don't suppose you closed the server mate?” The reply: “no, it just tends to quit at the end of each chapter.” I mean what the hell?

So Magicka sucks, right? Well, yes, and you'd be forgiven if you stopped reading at this point. That said, the game does possess some redeeming features, or at least feature. The combat sees you combining eight different elements (ten if you include steam and ice) into various different magic spells. With each element being assigned to a different key you can quickly dish out a plethora of different tricks on not just your opponents, but friends. Experimenting with all the various options in the beginning is pretty entertaining. Unfortunately, you'll eventually settle upon three or four key moves, at which point needing to bash out a combo each time just becomes tiresome, particularly when there are over a dozen keys and buttons at play.

With regards to its RPG nature; the game features minimal upgrading and levelling up. Whilst I theoretically like the idea of a stripped back game, in practise it translates to a rather lacklustre experience, devoid of any lasting appeal. Nothing feels like it has a purpose, especially given that you're not here for the storyline. Sure, there are a few pop-culture references scattered along the way, but they're not nearly enough to save this badly made, mediocre game.

Portal 2

Developer: Valve
Length: 5 - 12hrs
Platform: PC, OSX, PS3, 360
Rating: Worth purchasing

In addition to creating silent heroes and devising wacky advertising campaigns, there are two things that Valve can be said to do well and that's delivering on sequels and creating funky openings. 

Much like 2004's Half-Life 2, Portal 2 follows in the footsteps of a classic, meaning the expectations are high. In response, Valve have upped the stakes, opting this time for more lavish settings, a wider breath of features and even a few star voices. Stephen Merchant, better known as Ricky Gervais's right-hand man in shows such as Extras, lends his talents to the voice of Wheatley - a robot who decides to help you out. The result is not only one of the funnier openings in gaming, but it's also testament to the importance of not cheapening your talent, nor just resorting to Nolan North - if you're a gamer you would have heard that guy at least once (he's even in Portal 2 as a defective turret).

With regards to the functionality, the main new addition is the co-op play, which allows you and a mate to take on roughly 50 portal based puzzles (assuming you're not playing on a PS3, what with the recent network outages and stolen user details fiasco - yay Sony!). Whilst I feared this mode would primarily be a source of frustration, the puzzles are generally manageable enough that you should be able to push through at a pretty reasonable rate. The same can also be said for the single player too. That's other than when you decide to play drunk that is, which in hindsight probably isn't such a bad idea given that it makes up for how easy the game is. The final boss fight is particularly underwhelming, not just with regards to the difficultly, but also originality and grandeur (or lack thereof). That said, without being a Valve tester I couldn't actually confidently say whether making the game harder would make it anymore enjoyable, however, I can confidently say that adding more variety would. Whilst Portal 2 does feature more environmental elements to play around with than the original, including the addition of light walkways, liquids and forcefields, the game is still inevitably repetitive. Even the quirky one-liners, delivered by the likes of J.K. Simmons of Spiderman and Juno fame, begin to become tiresome by the end.

For me Portal 2 is everything the optimistic me expected it to be, it's just not everything I hoped it would be. That said, for the latter to come true, Gordon Freeman would need to burst in, break his legendary silence by declaring that some shit is about to get fucked up, before proceeding to unload a few shells into GLaDOS' nearest access panel. Now that's an ending.

Sword & Sworcery

Sword & Sworcery EP
Developer: Superbrothers
Platform: iOS
Length: 2hrs - 1month
Rating: Worth the price tag

Unfortunately, because the Steam community took a bit longer to collect a bunch of potatoes than hoped, GLaDOS's reboot process didn't occur early enough for this issue. If you're at a loss as to what I'm talking about, the simple version is that Portal 2 didn't quite come out early enough. This did however present a good opportunity to play a game I had heard great things about, Sword & Sworcery EP.

Now, when I say I've heard good things about this game, the reviews I read were near orgasmic - raving that the game is "a near-perfect polyamorous marriage of brilliant eight-bit visuals, clever puzzle-solving, and an unforgettable soundtrack." Without knowing much more about this game other than its reported awesomeness, I was expecting it to posses some inexplicable quality or quirk that once played would have you undoubtedly won over. Unfortunately, instead I found a pretty typical point-and-click adventure game, albeit a pretty good one. 

As mentioned, the music and sound effects are top notch. Despite being fantasy based, Jim Guthrie, the game's music composer, isn't afraid to drop the occasional pumping drumbeat. Likewise, the dialog also strays from the expected, featuring lines like: "The glowing ghost dude sure did talk a lot of unhelpful nonsense", "We Scythians loathe rainbows" and "We were like groan not another fetch quest amirite". The visuals are also very appealing thanks to its artistic blend of old and new-school elements. 

The game-play however is a bit more of mixed bag. In general, I found the pacing far too slow, what with the fact that a large proportion of your time is just spent wandering about. Whilst this isn't exactly a rare phenomena in this style of game, the actual map is so small that you inevitably find yourself retreading the same ground a lot. Whilst this does in turn build a familiarity with the setting and a certain belonging, on this occasion it's still just a tad on the small size. I also found the game didn't offer up as much variety. When not walking, you're generally either performing another touch puzzle or engaging in some rather rudimentary combat. Whilst none of this stuff is terrible, without taking the breaks the game advises, it can (and did for me) become pretty repetitive. Interestingly, to help enforce these breaks, there are certain things can only be achieved with regards to the (real) lunar cycle. Whilst I did find this concept intriguing, I was also happy to discover that I could bypass this element (tip: don't slay the dancing bear).

As always given the one buck price tag, it's worth the cost. From there, it's for you to decide whether the idea of a artistic, well-executed, light hearted, yet slightly shallow adventure game takes your fancy.

Killzone 3

Developer: Guerrilla Games
Platform: PS3
Length: 5 - 10hrs
Rating: Take or leave

Whilst playing the Killzone 3 co-op, a simple statement was made that summed up the whole experience; "I'm not sure which part I'm meant to be enjoying". I'm not saying it's a terrible game. In fact it has many virtues. As with the second incarnation the graphics are pretty balls awesome, the levels are nicely detailed and it's got a good bit of length to it. Unfortunately, as with its predecessor, it's rocking a ton of negatives that ultimately levels it out as a pretty average game, and by average I mean skippable.

Of all its faults, the most offensive is the control system- it just feels horrible to use. While many could be quick to place the blame on the inherent shortcomings of controller-based-aiming, the likes of Modern Warfare and Halo have done well to dispel this perception. In both aforementioned cases, the games employ various subtle tweaks to the aiming - even subtler than the all so obvious auto-aim - to make that experience feel inexplicably more enjoyable. Killzone on the other hand can barely get its aiming sensitivity right, what with the fact I needed to switch between a 10% and 80% sensitivity, depending on whether I was on foot or manning a vehicle's weapon at the time. Pretty lame Milhouse.

My other major gripe, as summed as a single point, is that it feels rushed to market. Such a feeling is reinforced time-and-time again by a plethora of issues. To name but a few, there's the fact that the storyline and cinematics seem so quickly scrambled together that they're not only manic and confusing, they’re also seemingly missing some key sound-effects half the time. Likewise, the levels frequently feature collision and clipping issues and even a bit of good old pop-up, just so you don't forget that you're playing a game. Whilst I can accept that every game will have a few of these issues, Killzone 3 just takes the piss by the end of it.

Another shortcoming I was keen to quickly mention is that at no point was I really sure why I was meant to be on the good guys’ side. Not only is this never really motivated, but the actual main characters are as unlikable as they are retarded. Sure, some might call them anti-heros, all I know is that it’s like hanging out with that kid at school that everyone wanted to punch - you know the one.

While in reflection this review is probably more damning that warranted, what with the fact that Killzone 3 still stands up against most other FPS titles, I personally wouldn't spend my dime on this particular title.

Little Big Planet 2

Developer: Media Molecule Platform: PS3 Length: 5+ hrs

Rating: Worth grabbing

Before I get too far ahead of myself, I should explain that despite being one of the Playstation's premier titles, I never played the original Little Big Planet (LBP) much. I mention this not only as a means to explain why this review is devoid of any blow-by-blow comparisons, but because I'm a regular spouter of the expression "good game, but too similar to the first". As such the following review comes with the following disclaimer: “Hey this shit seemed wacky and novel to me, but if they did it before and now it's boring, then balls eh?”

Like my own, the LBP2's package is a highly polished one. The graphics are top notch, the levels immaculately modelled and the menus are even narrated by Stephen Fry himself. That said, the game isn't without its quirks, such as when your character decides to inexplicably die when coming in contact with some inconspicuous scenery. But when it comes to the main game, the issues are few and far between. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for the community content.

Whilst the idea of being able to play community generated content is theoretically great, the games that I tried were either buggy, pointless or just outright lame. Whilst there were a few that provided some longer moments of fun, such as the Drake's Fortune themed mod, don't expect to find hours of play here, especially if you're not prepared to spend even more hours trawling through mixed quality content. Still, it's a cool concept that nicely complements the game's story mode.

In said story mode, you find yourself working your way through a range of side scrolling levels. Whilst there is a reasonable amount of diversity on offer - with some levels offering the ability to drive furry forms of transport and others pay homage to an old-arcade or two - I couldn't help but think it was all a bit tame. Whereas a game like Mario Galaxy had me saying "that's awesome" time and time again, LBP's wow factor petered out faster than expected. This comes somewhat as a surprise given that, as the community content demonstrates, the LBP engine is capable of many things. Unfortunately, it just seems that the LBP level designers just aren't taking as much acid as those over at Nintendo. Apart from being a bit samey, the story mode is also a little short and pretty easy. That said, it's still fun to play, especially with a mate.

If you're just looking for some light-hearted entertainment, LBP2 has you covered. Whilst it's probably not worth breaking the bank for, LBP2 is still a good one to own.

Camera+

improves on Apple’s camera app in many ways. The hang time after taking an image is shorter, allowing the user to take images more rapidly. You can also use your second finger to set the white point, meaning you can finally get a good pic even when the background is freaking bright. It also allows for cropping and provides enough filters to keep any fucking hipster happy (although you can only apply one per image). Whilst the interface also looks great, it’s also a little clumsy. The app also doesn’t really integrate with the photo collection much (an issue Apple are no doubt to blame for). As such, whilst this is probably the best of the camera substitutes, I do still find myself using Apple’s when I just want a quick and easy pic.

Pinball HD

presents really well and as with all pinball games, it’s reasonably addictive. However, the table layouts and gameplay are all a bit lacking. For instance, the Wild West is pretty bland, with it being hard to get a good shot on anything. Similarly, with the Jungle, it’s often hard to see your ball and the objectives are needlessly tricky to complete. The game also lacks any overall purpose, what with it lacking any form of Game Centre support, despite what they may tell you (pretty lame Milhouse). That said, it’s still good for a piss around, just make sure you get the three table version of the game, rather than the individual tables (each costing the same as the three pack, go figure).

Top Gear Where's Stig

Tired of trying to find some red and white dickhead, his bong smoking wizard friend and that other brown and yellow c**t? Well wish no more as you can now look for the Stig and his wanker mates and James May. You won’t be entertained for hours on end by this one, nor will you really be challenged by it either, but that doesn’t that mean it isn’t fun. The game has a playful style to it and like the books it’s based on, it’s strangely addictive. It would be nice if there was a bit more to spot and bit more depth to the actual gameplay, but at least it doesn’t mess up this classic formula.

Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit

I’m still yet to be convinced that a truly awesome racing game can be made for the iPhone. Whilst Hot Pursuit is definitely quarter-miles better than its predecessor, the experience it offers pails in comparison to what the PSP was offering years ago with the likes of Ridge Racer and Burnout. Granted, it’s running on less specialised hardware, but that doesn’t really excuse how bland the game is. The racing tracks alone consist of the same uninspired elements repeatedly copied and pasted. That said, I did still find myself getting a decent bit into this one, particularly once the pace picked up. While for the most part this experience wasn’t marred by anything particularly offensive, I wouldn’t call it overwhelming either.

Stick Cricket

Stick Cricket can be as infuriatingly frustrating as it is hugely addictive. The main source of its appeal comes from just how freaking hard it is. If you do actually manage to complete this one, I would expect nothing less than a signed letter from Mr Benaud himself. Control-wise, the game is beautifully simple with it featuring just two buttons – although it could benefit from having the straight drive as seen in the PC counterpart. However once you factor in the sheer range of deliveries and their required timings, mastering this game is far from easy. The two player mode also works particularly well, allowing players to give the bowling a crack, albeit in a very automated kind of way. All up, it’s a great experience which many console cricket games could learn from.

Infinity Blade

Ironically, repetition is probably my most used word throughout all my reviews, but on this occasion it’s definitely necessary. Not only does Infinity Blade consist entirely of consecutive one on one duels, when you’re inevitably popped off by the head honcho, you do it literally all again… and again, until eventually you can return the favour. I was amazed though how long such a format kept me gripped. While of course the steady upgrading and game centre achievements help to keep things interesting, it’s the feel and diversity of the combat, along with the inherent desire to master it that kept me hooked. So whilst a single play through (or bloodline) will take less than half an hour, all up there’s still a few solid hours of play here.

PlayStation Move

Developer: Sony

Platform: PS3

Rating: Yet to be convinced

It’s natural to compare the Move to the Wii, but is it a fair comparison? Admittedly, both enable both gesture and aiming based gaming, but when you consider that the Wii came out in 2006, you damn well better hope that the Move is a shade better. Unfortunately it’s not, but it’s not all bad news.

The motion tracking does feel better than the Wii’s. The Sport Champions table tennis game alone felt a lot more accurate than the equivalent Wii Playoffering. Unfortunately, there is not nearly as much difference with regards to aiming. You may notice that the Wii always has a cursor on screen, namely because the controller is actually pretty inaccurate. If you were to attach a laser pointer to the Wii-mote, the dot and the cursor generally wouldn’t line up. Consequently, you can no longer rely on your physical aim when trying to shoot that next bad guy, and unfortunately the Move suffers from this issue too. Whilst it’s not a major thing, what with most people not even noticing this issue, it saddens me to think that a game like Time Crisisjust won’t be as accurate as it was on the original PlayStation, which, by the way, never had an on-screen cursor.

Another point of difference is with regards to the ease of use. Whereas the Wii-mote could be described as ‘pick up and play’ controller, the Move needs to calibrate itself each time. On more than one of these occasions, I was told that my surroundings were too bright. Too bright? I would like to remind Sony that it’s quite bright here in Australia. Or is it that I’m the only one playing this stuff whilst the sun is still up?

So what about the games? This is probably where the Move is let down the most. Whereas the Wii’s open suite of games really appealed to people, the Move titles are a bit lacklustre. As mentioned, Sports Champions isn’t too bad, but gets boring quickly. Kung Fu Rider is as irritating as it is lame – one worth avoiding. The Shoot could have been cool, but with a large focus on conservative shooting, rather than a balls to wall shoot out, it doesn’t feel nearly as fun as it could have been. All up, there’s nothing to write home about with this first helping of games, but there’s still promise.

If the timing of the two controllers were reversed, I would be instead proclaiming that the Wii hides in the shadow of the more accurate Move. As it stands though, the Move has come second and until it shows what really sets it apart from what we’ve already seen and used for the last half decade, I’m not convinced.

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Gran Turismo 5
Developer: Polyphony Digital
Platform: PS3
Length: 10 + hours
Rating: Worth a borrow

Here’s the thing; when you decide to take closer to a decade than not to make a bloody game, it better be freaking spectacular. However, not only is GT5 a sizeable disappointment, it’s insulting. At no stage does it seem like Polyphony is actually in touch with their players. Whether it’s because they’re just riding on their past glories or because they’re surrounded by a wealth of yes men and fan-boys, the game is full of so many obvious flaws it just makes you wonder what’s going on. Is this game just a pet project for Kazunori Yamauchi, the game’s designer? Judging by how many unnecessary, eccentric features there are packed in, like the underwhelming track editor, the overly lavish 3D menu backgrounds, or even the B-Spec mode for that matter, I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s frustrating alone, just thinking about how long such features would pushed the development time back.

Reassuringly, the actual racing, or more importantly the handling, in GT5 is still top notch and arguably still the best out there. However it’s amazing how little time you’ll actually spend competing in competitive matches. Instead you’ll probably spend more time navigating the endless tirade of badly organised menus just so you can find an appropriate car. Once you finally do start racing, chances are your car will be underpowered, at which point you upgrade it and subsequently smash the competition. In either case, it doesn’t exactly make for a gripping race and unfortunately, swapping to some of the preset races doesn’t necessarily improve the situation. The first race you’ll try on the Top Gear track (Top Gear for god’s sake!) hits the very pinnacle of boring. Even once the races do start heating up, the old issues start to come out again. The AI cars still act like mindless idiots, such as when they choose to spin you out on a straight. Likewise, the collisions and physics still play almost no role in the racing. Indeed, using your opponent as cushion to take that particularly tight corner is still one of the more effective ways to drive – just remember to wash yourself afterwards. Of course technically the game is impressive, but given much of the content has been ported from GT4, don’t expect it to look amazing all the time.

Having said all this, it’s probably still all in vein, as chances are most people interested in the franchise probably already own the game and have the steering wheel and the die-cast collectable sitting above their TV. However, if there are still a few of you out there undecided, it shouldn’t be too hard to convince your mate to lend this title to you for a while.

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RAGE: Mutant Bash TV / Call of Duty: Black Ops
Developer: id Software / Treyarch
Platforms: iOS, Android / PC, PS3, 360
Length: 1 hr / 5-10 hrs
Rating: Worth trying / Worth trying 

Whilst we’re left to wait another year until Carmack’s next major effort hits our shelves, for now we’re given its handheld counterpart, RAGE: Mutant Bash TV. The first thing to hit you about this game is how technically accomplished it is. Having already proven their abilities with Doom Resurrection, RAGE takes it up another notch by featuring a previously unseen level of detail, ignoring Epic’s Citadel efforts that is.

Unfortunately and rather surprisingly, the gameplay doesn’t keep to the same high standard. Essentially, there are two enemy types (with some variants) and two weapons, ignoring the stock-standard unlimited handgun. As you would expect, this doesn’t lend itself to much variation, especially when you also consider there are only four levels, each of which aren’t particularly long nor diverse. The final gameplay nail in the coffin is the lack of any game centre support. Whereas the inclusion of a leaderboard would have made the shortness of the levels an advantage by allowing one to master them, instead in its absence there’s very little incentive to try them again.

That said, the game is still only a buck or two and for that cost it’s still worth picking up and having a play. Just don’t make the same mistake I did and expect to get more than about an hour worth of play out of it.

***

When your predecessors include the likes of Modern Warfare, there’s not much chance you’re going to get an easy pass. Throughout playing, I couldn’t help but draw direct comparison, noting Black Ops’ many inferiorities. In return Black Ops no doubt gets to reap the financial benefits of being associated to such classics, but that doesn’t stop this from being a slightly disappointing affair.

Black Ops feels rushed to market. Many aspects are unrefined, including scenery that looks so coarse and pixelated it distracts from the action taking place, which is saying a lot given just how over the top the action is. Whereas Modern Warfare felt like a Hollywood blockbuster, this feels like Michael Bay on crack. You fly helicopters and fighter jets, man tanks and trucks, ride bikes and even scuba dive. And just when you think you’re done, the game finishes with one of the corniest, pro-American endings you can get. What with not having ADHD, I just found all of it a little too much.

Despite its rushed efforts though, Black Ops still plays better than the majority of first person shooters out there. When you also consider it’s as usual top notch multiplayer, along with the ability to play as a smooth talking JFK against a horde of ghoulish zombies, it’s still probably worth the ticket price.

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I wasn’t initially too psyched about reviewing Enslaved. From what I had seen, it seemed like a stock standard action adventure. But there were two facts that got me interested in it; firstly Andy Serkis, of Gollum and soon to be Captain Haddock fame, was involved and secondly the story is based on Monkey. Of course, having grown up with the brilliance that was Monkey Magic I was intrigued.

Unfortunately, it seems my impressions were right. As with Ninja Theory’s previous title, Serkis is the best thing in the game. Both his voice and motion talents are impeccable, making Monkey a very likeable character. Likewise, the female character avoids being one of those typical princess leads, making her a far less frustrating companion than most. That said, she’s still not without her incompetencies, what with her needing Monkey’s help with so much as opening a tin can. The story also does well to keep things rolling, albeit a bit slowly. Admittedly it isn’t anything like the TV show, which of course is only to its detriment, but they tie in the Monkey elements reasonably well. That said, don’t expect a big reunion. Pigsy doesn’t show up for a good few hours and from what I could tell, Sandy seems to be missing from the roster meaning the loveable banter is definitely absent.

The gameplay however is where it falls flat. Admittedly, none of it is particularly atrocious, but there’s nothing in here that you wouldn’t have seen before and done better. There’s a big emphasis on traversing tricky terrain (which all conveniently consists of poles and perfect hand grips), however this doesn’t get much harder than flailing the left stick and tapping X a shitload, making it feel like a poor man’s Uncharted. The combat system is more satisfying, however fights are few and far between. Instead, the focus is on sneaking around whilst your female companion draws fire. As you would expect, this premise starts to wear thin, especially once you’ve heard the expression “I’ll just scan ahead” for the umpteenth time. For god’s sake, I’m Monkey, just let me bash the shit out of something.

Technically the game is a bit of a mixed bag too. Some of the visuals are quite compelling, with Monkey and Tripitaka being particularly well designed. However the game is plagued with various technical hitches including frequent frame-rate drops, image tearing, blatant popups and jerky animations. With so many issues present, they do of course hurt the playing experience.

Overall, Enslaved doesn’t offend, nor does it overwhelm. If you’ve got some spare cash and some kids, this will do well to tie them over. Otherwise, you’d be better off spending your money on the Monkey Magic boxset.

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Cut the Rope / Super Scribblenauts
Developer: ZeptoLab / 5th Cell
Platform: iPhone / DS
Style: Nippy puzzles / Open-ended puzzles
Length: 1 – 3 hrs / 5+ hours
Rating: Worth grabbing / Get it for your kids

I could sum this review up in one line: for buck o’ five (or so), why the hell wouldn’t ya? Indeed, like the iPhone classics that precede it, Cut the Rope possesses all the hallmarks of a high class game. Crisp and kooky visuals, simple physics based gameplay and a race to the bottom price tag (in other words, it’s cheap as chips. Actually, chips are more expensive, so scrap that). Of course, there are many that have tried replicating this formula and failed, but on this occasion it’s definitely a success.

The premise of the game is simple; you have to swing, float and blow a piece of candy from one side of the level into the mouth of a hungry little monster thing (not surprisingly the back story is a bit lacking, so god only knows what it is). Each attempt takes a matter of seconds, making the gameplay fun and fast paced. For this reason, having to re-watch the level intros each time can become tiresome, but that’s a pretty trivial qualm. The game’s greatest issue is its length, or lack thereof. Even with 100 levels on offer, you can get through them in an hour or two, even with three stars each. That said, you’ll still definitely get your money’s worth, especially considering its Game Center support.

***

Given the pubescent nature of this games column (with regards to age rather than sophistication), Super Scribblenauts marks the first title we’ve come to revisit. For those who missed the first instalment, the game centres around a number of little puzzles that you need to solve using a large assortment of items. Think a robot zombie will be of use? Write it down and bam! Just now make sure it doesn’t kill you.

While the premise is an awesome one, more than ever before the game feels like it could have just as easily been replaced using a pure text-based approach. Whilst the special action-based levels are an exception to this, as the name would suggest they are in short supply. In an attempt to spice things up, they added the ability to use adjectives to objects, thereby allowing you to create something like a fake, winged, mongoose. Once again, whilst potential is awesome, in practicality their use feels mostly contrived.

There are however some improvements since the last title, foremost of which is ability to now control Maxwell, the main character, using the D-pad. The level menu has also been spruced up a bit and there’s even a level editor. That said, whilst this game would be a great learning tool for younger kids, I personally didn’t find it overly fun to play.

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Kane & Lynch 2

Developers: IO Interactive
Platform: 360, PS3, PC
Style: 3^rd Person Shooter
Length: 4-8hrs
Rating: Nothing special

For me there was only one way to play Goldeneye and that was one shot kills. Screw body armour, power-ups and all that kind of shit. What this came down to was a simple who could hit who first. It made for highly strung gameplay centred around skill rather than tactics and that’s what made it so immensely appealing. Years on, I’m still loving games for the same reason; just take Counter Strike or Modern Warfare as examples. Unfortunately, it seems that no one must have ever blessed the makers of Kane & Lynch 2 with the saintly Goldeneye, if the enemies’ near immortal abilities are anything to go by. Throw in a bunch of inaccurate weapons as well and essentially you’ve just made your key gameplay a mostly frustrating one.

It’s a shame that the gameplay is a bit of a letdown as the game has a lot else going for it. First and foremost are the visuals. The action is depicted as if shot on a handheld camera – jitters, digital artefacts and light flares and all. The imposed pixelation does well to imply more brutality can one could plausibly show. However like Man vs. Wild (and I refer to the show rather than the truly terrible computer game) it does beg the question as to why the film crew are neither getting shot nor helping out. Probably best not to think about that one too much.

Another standout element is the voice acting (when you can hear it, that is). Weak audio levels aside (just make sure you turn on the subtitles), both protagonists are backed by strong, believable performances. Unfortunately, the animation fails to equally reflect the same level of emotion. On several occasions I had my AI driven partner stroll past me with a nonchalant look slapped across his face during an all out gun battle. Much the same can be said for the enemies, who appear to lack much comprehension as to what’s going on around them. They tend to take terrible cover, with some even coming to the decision that the cover behind you is the best place to be. Idiots. Luckily for them you can return the favour thanks to the dicky cover system you’re given. As some compensation it incorporates a form of auto-aim, although it often has the tendency to miss. Go figure.

Despite its qualms though, I did eventually warm to Kane & Lynch 2. That said, I still wouldn’t recommend buying this one. Apart from anything else, there’s nothing that really distinguishes it. Sure, the online multiplayer does do well to offer some variety and you do get to run around naked with your pixelated bits hanging out, but at the end of the day it’s a run of the mill shooter with a pretty face.

Limbo

Developer: Playdead Studios

Platform: XBLA

Length: 2-3hrs

Rating: Definitely get

Born from a Danish art grant, Limbo is such a stunning looking game I considered scrapping the traditional review format in favour of a parade of images, like the one on the left. Alas, given that such an approach does fail somewhat to capture the majesty of the game, I’ll do my best to describe its beauty using these finely crafted words ‘n’ shit.

The game has been executed with an inherent elegance. Without so much as a load screen, intro or tutorial, the game instead drops you into an eerie dreamlike world and leaves you to it. One of the reasons this works is because the controls are so simple. You can move, jump and grab. Despite this simplicity, the puzzles certainly aren’t mediocre. From fighting giant spiders to manipulating the gravity and orientation of the world to move on, this game will certainly force you to think outside the box. 

What you might not expect about the game is its brutality. In a snapshot, you control a child through many a lurking obstacle. Failure to navigate such tasks results in decapitations, dismemberments, crushings, electrocutions and buzz sawings to name but a few. With each death the game lingers just long enough to ram home the point, to the extent where on some occasions you’ll see your character chop-suey’d or rammed into the dirt a second time just for good measure. But despite its dark nature, it works. The game portrays the fantasy world in such an artistically engaging way, it’s more intriguing than it is offensive. 

Of course, the game isn’t without its issues. An extra checkpoint or two to avoid the need to repeat an easier challenge just so you can give a harder one another crack wouldn’t go astray. One could also fault its length, but then I’ve always been a firm believer in quality over quantity (it’s true; I’ve seen him in the showers – BOSSMAN). So that all said, if you consider yourself a game connoisseur, this is one I would definitely recommend. Alternatively, if you have a macabre fascination with death (and who doesn’t?) you’re also going to love it.

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Scott Pilgrim vs.The World: The Game

Developer: Ubisoft
Platform: PSN, XBLA
Rating: Worth grabbing
Length: 10hrs

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is a niche game, and if you happen to fall into said niche, as I happily do, then there’s a lot to like about it. The side scrolling gameplay, 8-bit art styling and numerous old school references magnificently pay homage to games of yesteryear. As such, if you’re old enough to know what NES means then you’ll likely get a real kick out of this one. Likewise, as the name would suggest, it is based on the same great story of the film/comic series. Given that this equally enjoyable film pays homage to the gaming world, it’s no wonder the material translates so well to the consoles. Each of the evil exs roughly correlates to a level, each with their own style and set of surprises (including some tripped out secret passages and some brain-hungry zombies).

To keep the format of the game fresh, the classic side scrolling style has been re-envisioned with RPG elements. As play proceeds, the characters gain new moves, providing a good bit of variation to the gameplay. This also works well to balance the game, given that one can always rely on levelling up if an obstacle is initially too difficult. Unfortunately the gameplay isn’t without its own quirks too. For instance, when you run out of lives, you’re frustratingly forced to begin the rather lengthy levels from the start. This is made worse by the fact that you don’t regain your lives between levels, leaving you with the decision to either crack on ahead at half strength, or laboriously commit hari kari to regain your lives upon continuing.

While these issues can be generally overlooked, one that’s not so forgivable is how buggy the game is. No doubt rushed to market to match the release date of the film, on at least three occasions the game screwed up significantly enough to warrant a level restart (which in turn led to the aforementioned issue). Whilst infrequent enough not to be a deal breaker (although after one occurred within 15 minutes, first impressions weren’t great) they are however annoyingly indicative of the “release now, fix it later” policy that so many companies, including giants Rockstar and Apple, have chosen to adopt. To me it shows disrespect for the money paying (ahem) gamer. It’s time people started lifting their game.

Despite the flaws, Scott Pilgrim still managed to provide us with many hours of fun. Whilst the game isn’t going to be a hit with everyone, there’s still many of you out there (possibly now with receding hairline) that will lap this up.

TORBEN SKO

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Final Fight/Magic Sword (Capcom) / RunKeeper (FitnessKeeper Inc.)
Platform: PSN, XBLA / iPhone, Android
Rating: If you're bored / Try the free edition
Length: 1-2hrs / N/A

I should be reviewing Scott Pilgrim right now, but as always us insignificant Australians have been shafted. Released inexplicably two days after the American debut, we only had enough time to beat one of Ramona's evil ex-boyfriends before deadline.

Alas I turn my attention to the warm-up acts - two of the classics that set the scene for Scott's side-scrolling action; Final Fight and Magic Sword. From the authentic arcade machine framing to the RAM checks at the start, both games are faithful copies of the brilliant originals (ignoring the overbearing achievement system). Immediately transported back to my adolescent days, pumping quarters into the AMF arcade machines, it was great fun to relive the memories.

Now, don't start thinking that I'm going to rant on about how these games represent the pinnacle of game design. In the same way that any modern FPS beats Goldeneye, (with the possible exception of Metro2033), these games provide a timely reminder of how far we've come. By today's standards they just don't stack up, but then they're not there to. So whilst one could be forgiven for thinking that $8.45 is a little pricey for a trip down nostalgia lane, given you're still getting a solid hour or two worth of entertainment, why the hell not?

***

Whilst this one ain’t technically a game, the Canberra Fun Run is just over the horizon. Taking into consideration the anticipated number of competitors, as well as the average fitness levels of BMA's readership, there should be at least seven people interested in this review, so let's plough on.

With the Apple app store recently hitting over 200,000 applications, 5,000 of which are devoted to health and fitness, it's not surprising that there's more than one offering to help monitor your workouts. From my experience though, the best is RunKeeper. Focusing on simplicity, you can start and stop workouts, view a map of where you've travelled and for those of you keen enough to get the full edition (which is worth doing if you’re wishing to hone your speeds), you also get regular verbal progress updates. Once you want to start looking at your overall progress, that's where the website comes in. It's sleek and functional, allowing you to not only access your data, but that of your buddies.

The system really helps to motivate your fitness and what's more, unless you're a fitness freak requiring more features, it's also free. So my advice is join the fun run, grab this app and start running fatty.

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Grokion/ Backbreaker
Publisher: Dodo Domination / Natural Motion
Developer: Dodo Domination / Ideaworks 3D
Style: Action-Platformer / Sports Challenge
Platforms: iPhone
Price: $1.19
Rating: Worth Getting / Stick to the lite version
Reviewer: Jemist / Torben

A common occurrence in this harsh gaming landscape is that of dying genres – primarily due to graphical innovations and technology more than anything else. I personally always lamented the death of the scrolling adventure platformer; think Metroid before 3D and Megaman before the 1000 spinoffs.

Grokion is a wonderful attempt at trying to recapture some of that Metroid vibe. You’re LDU-1, resurrected as a last line of defence from invading robots. At first glance, it definitely looks fantastic; 3D without being too overbearing, 2D without being lazy, and some smooth animation. What unfortunately quickly takes over is a somewhat unbalanced damage model. Getting killed by an exploding robot which you’ve just killed is definitely annoying, and happens all too frequently at the start. Add to this a less than stellar control system – pretty sure floating control sticks should be standard for most games by now, but alas.

If you’re dedicated enough, you get past those niggling issues, and are subject to a promising prospect for a continuing episodic iPhone series. The team behind the game seem dedicated enough about addressing those issues in inevitable updates, but we’ll see. This really does have me pining for an Oddworld series port to iPhone. Plzkthxbai.

***

Let me tell you a story; back in 2001 spirits were high after a couple of Oxford researchers had their pet project realised in the form of a fully fledged company. Known as NaturalMotion, they specialised in dynamically generating animations. It marked a new era, where games could finally offer truly unique playing experiences. The tech demos were awesome, the potential limitless. So… what happened?

Some say the technology was too awesome. Developers became caught up with the tech, obsessed even. Essentials like gameplay and control became neglected in its wake. Several major titles fell victim to this phenomenon; first there was Force Unleashed and then GTA 4. The latest is Backbreaker.

Indeed, whilst technologically impressive, Backbreaker suffers from a host of problems. The controls are unresponsive, particularly those on the left. The gameplay is shallow and repetitive. The in-game advertising is overbearing. Even the camera is placed so badly, you can barely see the very people you need to avoid.

So with time, hopefully we will finally be blessed with a developer capable of wielding the awesome power of NaturalMotion. Some even say that Rockstar may have already achieved this with Red Dead. Whatever your thoughts are, it’s safe to say that Backbreaker is pretty disappointing.

The Word On Games

Tilt To Live /
rRootage Online
Developer/Publisher: One Man Left Studios / fraglab.at
Platform: iPhone / iPhone
Style: Survival / Shmup
Price: $2.50 / Free
Rating: Worth Getting / Worth Getting
Reviewer: Torben / Jemist

Like most other iPhone games dubbed “the most addictive game ever” (for which there are a shitload now) Tilt to Live works off a simple premise, which in this case is: tilt iPhone, little ship moves, red dots die. Luckily there is more to it than that, with a mix of weapons, awards, modes and unlockables chucked in to keep you busy for at least an hour or so. And while admittedly it’s great fun for that hour – thanks in part to the slick visuals, fun gameplay and the overall quirkiness – the game eventually boils down to trying to best your own highest score, again and again… and again. Not surprisingly, this tires quite quickly and the presence of an online leader board does nothing to help out given how ludicrously large the top scores are. Sure, you can compete against friends, but in the absence of some kind of unified iPhone gaming profile, who can really be arsed to set that shit up?

So all up, yes this is a good game, yes it is better than Doodle Jump, but no, it won’t change your life. But hell, neither did that coffee and that probably cost more money.

rRootage Online
Developer/ Publisher: fraglab.at
Platforms: iPhone
Style: Shmup
Price: Free
Rating: Worth Getting
Reviewer: Jemist
Okay, done giggling at the title?

rRootage Online (‘Online’ refers to uploading scores on the leaderboards, not multiplayer) is an iPhone port of Japanese ABA Studio’s freeware Bullet Hell title. Western audiences tend to be left out of this niche genre of gaming, but we’ve been exposed to it via Ikaruga and Mars Matrix, and the recent Geometry Wars takes a page from the genre.

The premise is simple; you’re a little spaceship, and you’ve got to shoot the boss as it shoots hundreds and hundreds of bullets at you. Each stage has its own bullet patterns, which inevitably get more complex as the game moves on. Like, heaps and heaps complex. Like, heaps. Heaps.

Thankfully, control method is very simple; touch and hold on the screen to shoot and move, touch two fingers to activate the special. Works like a charm. Four game modes all up: Original, IKA (Ikaruga), GW (Giga Wing) and PSY (Psyvariar), the latter three mimic particular touches from each series. Beautifully simple vector graphics, by the way.

At a friendly 5.2mb download, and for the awesome price of free, I’d recommend giving it a go. Welcome to Bullet Hell.

The Word On Games

It’s that time of year again when nerds from across the world make a pilgrimage to the gaming Mecca that is E3. Unfortunately though, despite being the largest event on the gaming calendar, the major revelations were in short supply, especially if you’ve been keeping abreast of everything gaming. However, assuming you’re not a complete game nerd (which, given this is a music magazine, is probably a safe bet) here are some of the things you can look forward to in the ‘near’ future:

Nintendo will be releasing a 3D version of the DS, cutely titled the 3DS. The system will use a lenticular screen, meaning it achieves the effect without the need for any annoying glasses. Sony are also pushing the 3D, but they’re focussing on the more conventional approaches. They’re also pushing their new motion system called Move, which can be best described as a Wiimote, Mark 2. Whilst one demo did go to show how awesome the tech could make a Wolverine game, it paled in comparison to Microsoft’s Kinect. Formerly known as Project Natal, the system allows the player to use their entire body to play games, using nothing more than a camera. So assuming you’re willing to part with about 200 bucks, you’ll be able to start playing games by simply miming out the required action – never before will you have looked as big a dickhead playing computer games as you will in the future!

The Word On Games

Metro 2033
Developer: 4A Games
Publisher: THQ
Platform: 360, PC
Style: FPS
Length: 2+ hrs
Rating: Don’t bother

Metro 2033 is mediocre at best. Featuring a poorly paced story and some shoddy production values, there’s not a redeeming feature in sight.

The game is set in a post-apocalyptic Moscow where everyone has fled to the underground metro stations to avoid the radiation. To its credit it’s a good premise, but it quickly loses its allure once the dinosaur-esque mutants show up, along with a bunch of spirits and even some freaking Nazis. What next, zombies? Actually, they may turn up, but to be honest I wouldn’t know. The game is so boring, I didn’t make it to the end for fear of becoming clinically depressed. But hey, given that’s the atmosphere the story is trying to portray, maybe the developers should be commended?

The game falls short technically too. The visuals, whilst not terrible, don’t shine. While some areas are nicely populated, the models themselves look creepy, care of some terrible textures and off-putting facial animations. The audio is also disappointing, with dialogue often being muddled among the other NPC, or hard to locate. Throw in some controls so clunky that they make it feel like your character wears an overbearing protective suit and you have yourself a frustrating gaming experience.

Given all this, you won’t regret giving this title a miss.

UFC Undisputed 2010
Developer: Yuke’s
Publisher: THQ
Platform: PS3, PSP, 360
Style: Fighting
Length: 2+ hrs
Rating: Don’t bother

Given that a year has passed since UFC 2009 was released, this apparently warranted the release of a new game. Is it a major overhaul of the previous title, redefining the fighting genre its very self? Of course not. As with Skate, Need For Speed and almost all other sporting and EA titles out there, this game can be described as an incremental improvement at best.

Now don’t get me wrong, the game does definitely improve on its predecessor. Its interface is slicker and it offers some new modes such as the pickup and play Title mode. However, for the most part it’s just the same game as before, faults and all. The fighting is still unco, the animations are still repetitive and it provides about as much variety as Seth Rogan’s acting resume. Even the career mode still just consists of repetitively resource managing your non-Australian fighter, making it as enjoyable as before (because nothing’s more interesting than resource management).

As such, had the game been a purchasable update, I would have given it more grace, but as it is you would be better off fishing UFC 2009 out of the bargain bin.

The Word On Games

Monster Hunter Tri
Developer: CPS1
Publisher: Capcom
Style: 3rd Person RPG
Platforms: Wii
Rating: Buy
Review by Jemist 

It needs to be said – it’s about time the Wii received some quality titles. Thus, Nintendo has banked plenty of time into hyping Monster Hunter Tri, a title which has its roots on the PSP. Having spent a fairly minimal amount of time on previous versions, I approached this new title with a level and open mind.

On the surface, it comes across as being incredibly similar to Phantasy Star Online. Plenty of grinding and slashing to level up; a concept we’re akin to since those wonderful days of Diablo and the phenom of World of Warcraft. Can Monster Hunter Tri deliver the goods?

The game takes it very slowly for the first few hours, which can definitely turn a lot of players off. Given time though, it becomes evident the game just grows and grows. Sink in six hours, and that slowly becomes 20. 50+ hours later, then you’re ready to go online. This is the beauty of Monster Hunter Tri, it just keeps on giving and giving in dribs and drabs – simple and elegant game design that works, and serves to reward the player.

It’s not without odd quirks though. The menu system could definitely do with some tightening up (terrible font for it, by the way). Whilst the art style is stellar, and certainly pushes the Wii’s hardware, those of us that have been in 720-1080p realm can shirk on the graphics tip, but you get over that once you realise the quality gameplay. Classic controller is necessary.

All in all, a solid piece of gaming. Free online play is a beautiful kicker, once you get your Wii Speak working properly, or, alternatively plug in a USB keyboard. Feel like a hardcore RPG that works well as single and multiplayer? Dust off that Wii. No kidding.

Portal [re-released]
Developer: Valve
Publisher: Valve/Microsoft Game Studio
Platforms: PS3, 360, PC, OSX
Style: 3D Platformer
Length: 1 - 3 hours
Rating: Classic
Review by: Torben Sko

To mark the Mac OSX release of Steam, heralding the program’s first venture on a real operating system (zing!), Valve have chosen to port Portal. Apart from a few UI discrepancies, the Mac version is an exact copy of the 2007 original, which really isn’t a bad thing. For those who haven’t played it, Portal is a classic. It masterfully puts forth and explores the concept of creating portals and does so with an entertainingly wry sense of humour. Sure this release isn’t groundbreaking, but apart from anything else, it bodes well for a Mac release of Portal 2 later in the year.

The Word on Games

God of War III

Developer: Santa Monica Studio
Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment
Platform: PS3
Rating: Worth owning
Length: 10+ hours
Style: Intelligent hack and slash

In reflecting back on God of War III, I’ve come to realise it’s pretty hard to fault. Sure, there are occasionally some mindless sections and maybe a few bits could be considered repetitious, but overall it’s very entertaining. Now don’t get me wrong, I am still a bit reluctant to say that, and it’s not just because I’m adverse to saying something positive for once. No, I’m reluctant because I’m new to the God of War series, which means I’m not really sure how this game differs to the previous ones. To put that in context, had I not played Modern Warfare, I probably would have thought the second was the greatest thing since Jesus sliced bread. However, it did exist, I did play it, and as such the second was just more of the same really. However, as they say, ignorance is bliss, so let’s continue praising the shit out of it.

The first thing to love about the game is its combat system. Despite essentially being a hack and slash, the game manages to remain surprisingly fresh throughout. Whereas I thought I would just be continually hit by hoards of mindless minions until my button mashing thumb fell off, instead you encounter a wide variety of enemies, arranged in a series of challenging set pieces, each requiring their own tactical approach to overcome. If you also consider that you’re continually receiving new weapons and abilities, you’ll start to realise why the combat is so enjoyable.

The game also does well in the other key areas. For instance, the graphics are beautiful. On numerous occasions I found myself pausing just to take in the scenery. Likewise, the storyline and acting is top quality. Sure, having not played the previous games I’m not really sure what’s going on, but that doesn’t bog it down. From the very start, you know what Kratos is there to do, so it’s immediately full speed ahead. What’s more, even the difficulties settings are done magnificently well; hard can be brutal, but without feeling overwhelming. Sure, I think Hades probably killed me about 30 times, but it just made tearing his soul out all the sweeter.

Need any more selling? How about gratuitous nudity? Check. A quick-time sex scene? Check! Massively violent deaths? Well, if you consider ripping someone’s head off whilst they’re still alive violent, then hell yes!

So all up the game is great fun to play and as a testament to this, whereas with some titles I’ve struggled to get enough play time in before doing a review, this is one I know I’ll be playing even when I move onto the next title. Oh and if I don’t manage to get my work paper in on time, I’m blaming you Kratos!

The Word On Games

MAG (Massive Action Game)
Developer: Zipper
Interactive Publisher: SCEA
Style: MMO-FPS (massively multiplayer online FPS)
Length: 5-10 hrs
Rating: Worth a borrow

These days, there are so many games out there, it’s hard to get excited about one unless it decides to do something a little special. Luckily, MAG steps up to the challenge by offering you the chance to play a first person shooter against 255 other players. Of course, such a feat isn’t so impressive if the developer just assumes we all have super fast internet connections. However, to MAG’s absolute credit, the game runs brilliantly, even on a minimal internet connection. To give an example, whilst I was still able to shoot at numerous enemies and simultaneously listen to the mindless dribble from my fellow teammates, I wasn’t able to watch a YouTube video using the same shaped, internet connection.

Unfortunately, if online play isn’t your forte, then I have bad news – it’s multiplayer only. As such, the initial learning curve is a bit steep, given you’re immediately pitted up against those who already know the rounds. What’s more, the game doesn’t do much to help you out. For a while, I was running around wondering how everyone was managing to revive each other, without any hint of an explanation (I should add at this point that review copies don’t tend to come with instruction manuals). Turns out I needed to earn it as skill, which requires XP. However, once again they’re not exactly forthcoming in telling you how best to earn it. I incorrectly assumed kills would be the way to go (what was I thinking?). Instead, it seems that healing is the hot ticket, which would explain why many players are more inclined to run into battle holding a health kit than a gun. Great for being revived during a firefight, but it doesn’t tend to win you the war.

That said, the ranking-up system does keep the game quite fresh; once you get over the induction period, that is. However, despite its presence, the game still feels a bit empty. Firstly, there are only four game modes, so you’ll be finding yourself retreading familiar ground quite quickly. Whilst this offers you the chance to master a level, it does tend to get a bit repetitive. Also, there are only a handful of weapons and upgrades, so there’s not much room for branching out. However, I think the greatest thing missing from this game is overarching objective. Without one, I found that once I reached a reasonable rank and tried each scenario a couple of times, I didn’t feel compelled to play much more.

Despite a few other quibbles, such as slightly unintuitive controls and a lacklustre interface, this title is still one worth checking out, if for no other reason than to see what it’s like to run around a map with 255 other people.

The Word On Games

I’ve come to realise the true virtue of iPhone games; like a tube of Selleys All Clear, they nicely fill the gaps. Now, some of you are probably thinking that the DS and PSP already had this niche covered. But I ask you this; how often do you have your DS on you when you’re shaking hands with uncle Boris (aka using the facilities)? Exactly. Whilst I play an iPhone game at least once a day (maybe even a few more depending on what I ate last night), my impractical PSP remains lost and forgotten.

GTA: Chinatown Wars
Developer: Rockstar Games
Style: Long, mission based story
Rating: Worth purchasing

I’ve played the GTA franchise to death; so much so, I personally think the critically acclaimed GTA 4 is in reality, shithouse. Despite this context, I still found myself enjoying China Town Wars, despite some issues.

The first thing that impressed was the opening. Sure, it plays out like the other GTA games, but that’s what I liked about it. For once, I felt like I was playing a proper game on the iPhone, rather than just a glorified flash game. Unfortunately, once I got to the gameplay and realised that most aspects of the game felt watered down compared to the console version, my initial enthusiasm slightly declined.

Also, the biggest gripe I have with the game are the controls, which are done through on-screen buttons, inevitably leading to the typical trade off between screen space and practicality. Unfortunately, my fingers must be larger than Rockstar’s game testers, given that I often found myself steering in the wrong direction or breaking when I otherwise didn’t mean to. Throw in a shit load of scenery to obscure the player behind (such as an unnecessary rail system) and you’ve got yourself a potentially frustrating game. That said, given the $15 price tag, this is still one worth picking up.

Angry Birds
Developer: Clickgamer
Style: Quick bursts
Rating: Genius: definitely purchase

Screw what people tell you about Doodle Jump, Angry Birds is where the addiction really is.

The game centres around the idea of catapulting birds into structures that house evil pigs. What’s not to love about that? Once you also consider how many levels there are and the amount of variety on offer (care of the different structure types and bird abilities, such as the black bird which explodes), you soon realise why this game can be so moreish.

In fact, the game is so addictive, I didn’t play GTA nearly as much as I planned to, because I always found myself leaning towards this title instead. One of the main reasons for this is because each attempt can be as quick 10 seconds, or last as long as an hour, making it an ideal time filler. When you also consider the fact it only costs a buck, then there’s no reason not to own this immensely enjoyable title.

Games Reviews

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Game Reviews

Keen on cementing the PS3 as the messiah of home entertainment, Sony recently announced the PlayTV - a dual HD TV tuner for the PS3. While the unit doesn't really differ to many of the other set-top boxes out there, one thing that sets it apart is its ability to stream the footage to your PSP. Admittedly it's not exactly the most useful of features, but at least you'll never have to miss your favourite Simpsons punchline again, even if nature calls. Alternatively, Sony could just release some kind of colostomy bag add-on instead, thus ultimately eliminating the need to leave your room altogether. We can only see what the future holds.

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
Developer(s): Naughty Dog
Publisher(s): Sony Computer Entertainment
Length: 10hrs
Platform: PS3
Score: 4

Feeling like a perfect concoction of Assassin's Creed, Far Cry and a good dose of classic Indiana Jones (we wouldn't want to imply it's anything like Crystal Skull, would we now?), the original Drake's was a stunning game, and for better or worse, its predecessor follows very much in its grave-robbing footsteps.

As with the original, the first thing that will strike you about Drake's 2 are its amazing visuals. Not only can you survey over a remarkably vast amount of scenery, the environments are also amazingly rich, featuring intricately constructed structures and diverse types of wildlife and vegetation. In this sense, the game definitely outdoes the first, as likewise it does in regards to the controls. The retarded tilt-based grenade system has been dropped in favour of a much simpler quick throw button, making grenade throwing a whole lot simpler. Likewise, you're given a much better indication of what actually constitutes a safe ledge, meaning you won't be needlessly dying nearly as much as you would have in the first.

Unfortunately, tweaks aside, the game doesn't bring much else to the table. The gameplay is still very linear and while I'm not adverse to that style of gameplay, having a bit more freedom could have helped to make a few of the navigation moments feel a little less contrived. Likewise, the gameplay elements themselves are mostly just a rehash from the first. They're still enjoyable, but there's only so many times you can ascend a decrepit facade and still find it entertaining (spruced up graphics and all). The game also isn't without its other foibles. For instance, it can have a nasty habit of restarting you quite far back after dying, which in the case of the great train sequence, does somewhat mar the action.

Criticisms aside though, there's still a lot to love about this game, especially if you're new to the series (and even if you aren't, you'll still enjoy seeing many of your favourite characters reappearing). Unfortunately the game just doesn't distinguish itself enough from the first, making it difficult to award it anything higher than 4 stars.

Game Reviews

Ah, racing games. I have somewhat of a love-hate relationship with them these days. On one hand, they don't require a serious life commitment in the way that, say, Fallout does. Indeed, they offer great duck in, duck out entertainment, perfect for our modern, balls-to-the-wall lifestyles. However, they don't really offer much variation between titles. Need for Speed alone consists of dressing up the same bollocks in a slightly shinier wrapper each time. Where's the innovation, people? Indeed, is innovation even possible in this saturated market anymore? According to Dirt 2... not particularly.

Colin McRae DiRT 2
Developer: Codemasters
Publisher: Codemasters
Platform: PS3, 360, PC
Length: 10hrs
Rating: 3

Colin McRae died? Wow, missed that one. At least his legacy lives on through the Collin McRae series. Unfortunately though, Dirt 2 doesn't quite live up to the man's stature. Admittedly, there's nothing really wrong with the game other then the fact that there's nothing particularly outstanding about it either... with the possible exception of the menus.

Yes, rather disturbingly, Dirt 2's most distinct feature are the race menus. Shying away from the stunningly sleek yet sterile style of the first, now they're fully 3D scenes that seamlessly transition in and out of the racing. Unfortunately, after you've taken your umpteenth unskippable look around the race yard, been slowly lectured about all the shit you've unlocked and listened to some lame quip from another racer, it all gets a little tiresome.

Menus aside, the actual racing content of the game comes in various flavours, ranging from the traditional rallying, to the less than entertaining 'hit the yellow shit on the road' mode. While the variation is interesting, I would have preferred they stuck to mastering one particular style instead, say, RALLY for instance.

As such, as with any quantity over quality decision, it's not without its issues, which include some temperamental car control, non-dynamic terrain and a reasonably ill thought out flashback mechanic, which as the name suggests, lets you rewind time and undo that fatal mistake you just made (taking the dumbing down of games to that next level). In actuality, you'll probably choose the wrong place to pick up the action due to the ludicrously placed replay camera and end up slamming into the same bloody thing you did the first time. Even when it's used properly, it still ruins the flow of the game and could have easily been dropped.

However, my greatest gripe with the game is with the trendy, Need For Speed-esque image it seems so keen to tout. Whereas I was hoping to take on Tommi Mäkinen in the French Alps, instead you'll be racing against BMX (eh?) rider Dave Mirra in his pimping joy ride. Talk about selling out.

So whilst Dirt 2 isn't a bad pick, don't bother buying a party mix if all you want is some good chocolate, if you get what I mean.

Games Reviews

For urgent sale: 10,000 PSPGos, new out of the box, use outdated Wi-Fi technology to download games (much like how you can with the old PSP), uses a proprietary cable (which unfortunately I lost, but I'm sure replacements won't be that expensive, right?), no longer acknowledges the existence of those ugly UMDs you've amassed, save just over 50 bucks on the price of a PS3 (cause they're pretty much as good as each other) and they're like smaller and shinier 'n' shit. So what's stopping you from buying one today?

Scribblenauts
Platform: DS
Length: 10+ hours
Published by: Warner Bros. Interactive
Developed by: 5th Cell
Rating: 4

I must admit, Scribblenauts is difficult to review because it's a game of extremes. Yes, it's one of the year's most ingenious titles, but it's also hampered by some major control issues. So let's start with what makes it so great - the gameplay.

Scribblenauts presents to the player a shitload of small puzzles ranging from breaking open a piñata, to reuniting a father and son in an unlit cave. The twist - rather than providing a concise set of tools to complete these tasks, the game lets you use any kind of item you can think of, by merely entering its name. From riot shields to dart guns, the game's repertoire of items is both extensive and impressive (and before you ask, no it doesn't recognise "penis"). As you can probably imagine, this makes for some pretty interesting puzzle scenarios, even if most just boil down to having to work out what the hell the level designer was thinking of. Admittedly, after your umpteenth approach to a problem yet again yields no love, the game can become quite frustrating, but that gripe pales in comparison to the control issues.

For reasons unbeknownst to me, both the movement and object manipulation is controlled simultaneously using the stylus. As such, once things start getting fiddly - such as when you're trying to attach small shit together - the main character frequently starts dashing about like a blind idiot, screwing as much up in the process as possible. Even just to get him to do something sensible can often become a pain in the arse, be it either because he's incapable of doing such a thing or because the AI controlling him chose to do something far more retarded instead. Worst of all, had they just simply decided to use the buttons for control instead, this whole issue could have been avoided.

So does one reward original thinking or punish unrefined ideas? For me, originality wins out. Yes this game pissed me off at times, but it still beats playing one of the mindless shit heaps EA pumps out each year. What with the immense amount of bite-sized content on offer, this game will keep you busy (and frustrated) for a while.

Games Reviews

Now I remember why I stopped playing PC games - they're a pain in the arse. Sure, controllers will never supersede the mouse, but if the console vs PC war was to be won on a single issue, it would be ease-of-use. Your Dad can probably cope matching the colours of the component cable to the back of the TV, but ask him if he wants spherical harmonic lighting on and he'll probably just blindly stare back at you. So while Batman: Arkham Asylum is a great game, I can't help but think I could have saved myself some hassle by just playing it on a console instead.

Batman: Arkham Asylum
Published by: Eidos Interactive
Developed by: Rocksteady Studios
Length: 15 - 25hrs
Rating: 4.5

Ever since talk began of Mark Hamill reprising his role as the voice of the Joker, the hype machine has worked its magic with Arkham. Luckily though the verdict thus far has been good. Even the hilariously cynical Yahtzee (creator of Zero Punctuation) liked it. But with such high expectations, it was no surprise that my first taste felt a bit underwhelming. However, a few leg sweeps and a couple of flying punches later, I soon realised why this game is so popular.

 Asylum's combat system is its standout feature. Shying away from a typical move-based approach, the player simply picks the next chump to eat a knuckle sandwich and Batman kindly obliges using an acrobatic arsenal of backward somersaults and flying heel kicks. Simultaneously, the system also requires an element of skill. If you are to successfully stave off your attackers you'll need to time your hits, perform reversals and utilise a range of attacks. Throw in a slow-mo finish to boot and you've got a system that will have you moistening up each time you stumble across another pack of unfortunate goons. However, it's not always about going in there fists flailing. Throw in a guy with a gun and suddenly you're needing to befriend the crevasses, as you stealthily pick off your opponents one by one, before finally raining some B-man smackdown on that final poor bastard. The whole thing is fantastically topped off with an orchestral soundtrack, delivering a truly awesome Batman experience.

While on that topic, the game as a whole thoroughly embraces the Batman universe. Many of your favourite characters pop up, most notably of which is the Scarecrow. Sending Batman into periods of madness, Scarecrow's moments really stand out, even if the actual gameplay that accompanies them is more frustrating than enjoyable. The bat gadgetry also plays a key role, including a forensics mode, which basically equates to cheating. Likewise, there are Riddler puzzles, character backstories and a bunch of other crap such as the challenges.

The game isn't without its flaws though. At times, the controls feel a bit awkward and (as is also the case with the video settings) they can't be changed in-game, making you continually quit until you've eventually got everything setup correctly, at least for the PC version. In regards to the story, some of the cut-scenes are a bit stale and on a whole the storyline is pretty tenuous (but then again, it is a Batman game). In its defence, the storyline (along with the voice acting) is entertaining and keeps a good pace.

There's a certain old school charm to Batman that I'm drawn to. In some ways, the game almost feels like an adult Legend of Zelda, complete with a slingshot and all. While it misses out on being a classic, it's definitely worth a go, old chum.

Games Column

With travel comes another occasion for a portable edition of the games column and in the interest of equal opportunity, I thought this time I would give the PSP or DS a go. That was until I was laughed at for inquiring as to whether anything decent had come out for either recently. So we're back to the iPhone for round 2 and the verdict this time is disappointing. In general, iPhone games fail to provide a rich gaming experience, instead opting for something a lot more casual. Whereas a PSP game feels like a cut down console game, an iPhone game feels more like a glorified flash game (and who honestly plays one of those for more than 10 seconds?). To me, iPhone games will always be held back by two key problems; power and control. The iPhone's hardware isn't good enough to deliver a rich gaming experience, you can't perform enough actions simultaneously and you're fondling the very thing you're trying to look at. Sure, in the last case there are some circumstances where that works, but not for a gaming platform.

Doom Resurrection
Published by: Id Software
Developed by: Escalation Studios
Length: 5hrs
Score: 3.5 out of 5

Admittedly, Doom Resurrection has some pretty good qualities. The controls are intuitive; I found the aiming (performed by tilting the screen) surprisingly easy to use. Likewise, visually, it looks quite impressive (at least for an iPhone game) and its length is reasonable. That said, it has some shortcomings too, the first of which is the terrible story. The ending is horribly anticlimactic and all the way through you have to endure pointless dialogue. Sure, it wouldn't be too bad if it was spoken, but instead they opted to use text (probably due to the limitations of the iPhone), which only goes to slow the pace of the game. Despite these issues, I did at least find myself wanting to finish this game.

Spider: The Secret of Bryce Manor
Published by: Tiger Style
Developed by: Tiger Style
Length: 2 - 5hrs
Score: 2.5 out of 5

Spider: The Secret of Bryce Manor is built around a pretty funky concept (construct webs to catch and eat insects) and is executed well. The visuals are sharp, the controls, for the most part, are natural and the music, whilst a bit repetitive, complements the game well. Despite this though, it all gets pretty old fast. I'm sure there will be people out there who will love the basic gameplay logic and, as such, will adore this game, but for me, by the time I got to the fifth level I had pretty much had enough.

Wolfenstein RPG
Published by: Electronic Arts
Developed by: Id Software
Length: 5 - 10hrs
Score: 2.5 out of 5

Wolfenstein? As an RPG? That's right; it's the Wolfenstein we know and love, but now it's turn-based and rocking some spruced up visuals. Unfortunately, despite the kitsch quality (and a childhood fondness), I just found it all a bit lame. The game is repetitive, the controls are annoying and it looks pretty crap. Sure, die hard fans will still love it, but then again, there are still people out there who love Sonic, so that doesn't say much.

Game Reviews

Downloadable content - I'm still not sold on it. Yeah, it's cool to extend your gaming experience and hell, it finally calls those developers on their claims of how multifunctional their game engines are, but in many cases, one could easily argue that the content should have just been there from the get go (I'm looking at you RE5!). And what's with all these patches? Thanks for fixing the bugs 'n' all, but how about you put out a working product next time, you lazy pricks? So whilst downloadable content does have the ability to be sweet, it also facilitates some rather disturbing trends in the industry, including milking old ideas. In some regards, Wipeout Fury is guilty of this, but at least it still proves to be a great game.

Wipeout Fury
Published by: Sony Computer Entertainment
Developed by: SCE Studios Liverpool
Length: 10+ hours
Platform: PS3
Score: HD - 4.5, Fury - 4

I've loved the Wipeout series since its conception. With its mix of masterful racing, tripped out visuals and banging soundtracks, it's hard not to be a fan. But with admiration comes blind devotion - a concept Nintendo relies on when it comes to selling some of their core titles ('cause they certainly aren't relying on much originality). So in vowing to uphold my reviewing integrity, here's a (hopefully) unbiased opinion of Wipeout Fury.

Fury extends upon the already impressive Wipeout HD. Yes, that's right, Fury is an add on, which for me presents a conundrum. Because it's merely an extension, most of its qualities, such as the stunning high-def visuals, are inherited from HD. While Fury does admittedly improve on these (the molecular ship explosion is a particular highlight), let's focus on the new things it does.

Firstly, the game boasts a handful of new racing tracks, all of which are superbly crafted and decently enjoyable to play. Unfortunately though, there's not much variety between tracks. On a whole, they're all pretty short and offer the same kind of experience HD had to offer. Hopefully they'll draw inspiration from grandpa Fusion next time, given that it boasted some of the series more outlandish tracks.

Where Fury does shine though is with the number of race modes on offer. Thrown into the regular Wipeout mix is a handful of new game modes, including a reinvented survivor mode. Whilst this mode is occasionally drawn out, moments where you take out half of the trailing pack using a single reverse shockwave will definitely have you smiling. Likewise, not only will the new zone modes sex up your eyes, they may also be life changing if experienced on some form of illegal narcotic. They're also pretty fun to boot. This is all topped off with a sublime soundtrack.

Everything Fury brings to this series is executed with meticulous precision. Unfortunately, having been there and done that, it just feels a bit same-old, same-old. Although, in the case of this series, the old is brilliant.

Game Reviews

People seem to get wet over the idea of storyline and gameplay choices, but who out there honestly goes back and tries out the other options? Freaks, that's who! Freaks with either too much time, not enough money or who just don't get out enough, which is probably what would explain their pale complexions. Why this annoys me though is that the developer's time is valuable, so I would prefer they spend it on delivering one brilliant story, rather than several mediocre ones. Be good or evil? You should tell me inFamous, you're the one telling the bloody story.

inFamous
Developer(s): Sucker Punch Productions
Publisher(s): Sony Computer Entertainment
Platform: PS3
Score: 4 stars
Length: 20hrs

Chances are, if you've looked over any kind of inFamous review recently, the word Prototype was probably mentioned somewhere nearby, and with good reason. Defining their own sub-genre, both games centre around a grizzly sounding prick who's been granted superpowers so that he may freely run around and terrorise the general populous (or protect them, whatever). So the big question is, which is the better game? In short, inFamous and here's why little Johnny...

Unlike Prototype's cut-and-paste job, inFamous' city feels carefully crafted. Running around it is actually quite interesting, especially when you consider the amount of crap there is to do; missions, side missions, collecting shit, as well as just blowing crap up - all make for an entertaining experience. Admittedly, it still suffers from long travel times, but even that's more varied thanks to its did-I-leave-Assassin's-Creed-in-the-machine travel mechanic. Scaling buildings, gliding on wires and flying through the air are all fun, or at least they are once you've gained the ability to do so. However obtaining these abilities isn't so enjoyable. Why? Answering this touches on the game's main flaw; repetition.

Instead of opting for a balls-to-the-wall, action packed eight hour gaming romp, the developers instead went for a watered down 20 hour experience. You've switched the power on Cole? Great, now just do it about a dozen more times. Likewise, another lame design decision they chose to make, as forewarned by my intro, was the inclusion of different gameplay paths. Why must I be either good or evil? Why can't I be both? Sure, let the player have the ultimate choice, but why not make it that Cole fights between both, giving the player a chance to try out the full spectrum of electrical devastation, whilst also potentially making for a more interesting story. While on that topic, it's worth mentioning that this game actually has a storyline, with some comic book cutscenes to boot. Sure, alone they're not sufficient to have you coming back, but they never go amiss.

I can't help but feel that with some slightly different design choices, this game could have been really awesome. As it is though, it's a fun experience that gives Prototype a big electrical kick to the balls.