Melissa Wellham

The Muppets

The Muppets is a clever, charming and very meta film, that will leave you smiling as you walk out of the cinema – and perhaps breaking into spontaneous song.

Walter (voiced by Peter Linz) – a puppet, although not yet a Muppet – goes on vacation in Los Angeles to visit the abandoned Muppet Studios with his big brother Gary (a fantastic Jason Segel) and Gary’s partner Mary (a strangely stilted Amy Adams). Walter is the world’s biggest Muppet fan, and so he is horrified when he uncovers a secret plot concocted by Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) to destroy Muppet Studios. The only way to save the studio is to get the gang back together and stage The Greatest Muppet Telethon Ever!

The film is fun and frivolous, but also a little bit twisted and eccentric, in the most delightful way possible. Written by Jason Segel and Nicholas Stoller, the script is self-referential, world-referential, reference-books-referential. It’s pop culture eating itself, and it tastes delicious.

The show is stolen by the Muppets, and Segal and Adams stand aside to allow their furry counterparts to shine. They are zany, and vibrant, and quirky, and screwball, and now I’m just looking up synonyms in the thesaurus – because it’s hard to describe this film with fewer words. If I had to pick just one, it would be… Muppets.

It’s madcap Muppet mayhem, the whole way through.

Young Adult

Young Adult is likely to divide young and old alike, but it will divide audiences into two different groups: those who can’t stand watching selfish, shallow, destructive protagonists on screen; and those who relish in watching such interesting, honest filmmaking.

Mavis Gary (Charlize Theron), a ghostwriter for a once-popular series of teen books, returns to her hometown when she learns that her high school sweetheart is happily married and has a newborn child. Her plan is to break up his marriage, and convince Buddy (Patrick Wilson) to return to the city with her. Along the way she also forms a fledging friendship with a former classmate Matt (Patton Oswalt), who is still suffering from the shadow of his high school identity, much like Mavis.

Mavis is intensely unlikable, but at the same time immediately recognisable – and for that reason, sympathetic. She is as delusional as she is beautiful, as selfish as she is pitiable, and one of the more fucked-up characters onscreen in recent memory.

Young Adult marks the reunion of director Jason Reitman (Up In The Air) and Diablo Cody (United States of Tara) who made Juno together, and although their sophomore (high school pun, geddit?) effort is a lot darker and daring than their teen pregnancy flick, it retains the same dry, sardonic wit and dialogue. Young Adult, contrary to the title, is very adult.

Sherlock Holmes 2: Game of Shadows

The crime – Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows doesn’t live up to the first film in the franchise.

When Guy Ritchie first decided to shake up the Sherlock Holmes tradition, he did so with a steampunk style and panache. The first film in the franchise was criticised for diverting too much from the original text, but this reviewer found that instalment to be a refreshing and fun take on a classic. Although Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows follows the same formula – so much so that outlining the plot feels redundant – it falls short. In what way do the two films diverge? The difference is elementary, my dear readers.

The bromance between Sherlock (Downey Jnr) and Watson (Law) is still just as believable (indeed, I kept hoping Ritchie would up the ante, and take it from bromance to romance. The two male leads have a helluva lot more chemistry with each other, than they do with their female companions, in any case) but for the most part, A Game of Shadows doesn’t hold a flickering, mysterious candle to the original. And it’s because Sherlock doesn’t use his head. Where the first film Holmes’ main weapon is his mind, backed-up by some ass-kicking action, in the sequel there is very little sleuthing, and more cruisin’ for a bruisin’. The smarts are gone, and replaced by brute strength. It’s absolutely criminal.

Case closed.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is a brutal film – and while you might not always want to watch the screen, you won’t be able to look away. It’s completely captivating.

The English adaptation of the novel by Stieg Larsson, follows Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) a journalist whose reputation is in tatters. He is hired as a private investigator by a wealthy patriarch (Christopher Plummer), who wants his help finding out which member of his family murdered his niece 40 years earlier. Blomkvist, however, finds he needs help, and in turn hires a deeply troubled young woman, Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara).

Rooney Mara is a revelation as Lisbeth Salander. Having only seen her performance in what was essentially a bit-role as Erica Albright in Fincher’s The Social Network – a film where she plays a relatively sassy young woman, but certainly not someone you can imagine withstanding violence from, nor inflicting it upon, another human being - she came as a complete surprise. She is both violent and vulnerable; closed-off from the world, but with a face like an open book.

Having read neither the hugely popular series that the films will be based on, nor seen the highly acclaimed Swedish adaptations, I was able to approach the film with few expectations. Well, except for the one massive expectation that as the film was directed by David Fincher, it must be awesome…

And, to ease your fears, it was.

Immortals

Immortals is a mythology mash-up that takes a number of interesting ancient characters, creatures and storylines – and mangles them into an unrecognisable mess.

The bloodthirsty King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) is on the hunt for a magical bow which will allow him to overthrow the Gods of Olympus, including Zeus (Luke Evans). The only thing standing in his way is the peasant Theseus (Henry Cavill), who – as the virgin Sybelline Oracle (not a virgin for long, though), Phaedra (Freida Pinto), has foreseen – has the power to stop the brutal king.

After the first five minutes of this film you don’t need an oracle to tell you it’s not going to get any better. The plot is predictable and, while violent, the film does away with any of the truly shocking elements of Greek mythology. In Immortals, Zeus is a super nice guy who cares about his daughter, Athena (Isabel Lucas). In Greek mythology, Zeus was a jerk (remember when he disguised himself as a swan and raped Leda, anyone?) who feared his daughter because she was predicted to be stronger than him.

The film is from the producers of 300, but the only thing it really shares with that other ancient history action is a distinctive style. Its combination of real sets and CG work is visually impressive. It’s a pity that the style of Immortals is so interesting, because it is wasted on such a substandard script.

Bill Cunningham New York

Bill Cunningham New York is a heartfelt documentary about the title character, the 80+ iconic street fashion photographer. And ‘title character’ is an apt descriptor, New York included, given that Bill is considered to be an integral part of the New York scene. As the terrifying Vogue editor Anna Wintour says, “We all get dressed for Bill.”

The film paints a portrait of a man who is compulsively shy, obsessively interested in fashion photography, and so genuinely kind and sincere that one finds it difficult to believe he has made it in the cutthroat world of fashion. Where the fashion industry has a reputation for being shallow, vain and artificial, Bill Cunningham is quietly thoughtful, modest and truly appreciates fashion as an art form.

While the film is careful not to pry too much into the privacy of this accommodating man, it does still dig. When he is asked about his sexuality (there is the definite implication that he is gay), Bill gives an ambiguous answer. When next questioned about religion, his face crumples. While watching scenes like this, you can’t help but wonder what drew Bill to fashion in the first place. The way fashion can be used to exaggerate an individual’s personality? Or perhaps its transformative properties; it’s ability to disguise.

Bill Cunningham is a movie about a man who is an obsessive artist; but more importantly, a good human being.

Top 10 Films of 2011

2011 may well have been the Year of the Sprawling Art House. Or, perhaps, the Year of the Comic Book Adaptation. The two genres could not be less alike, but they seemed to dominate the silver screen. With Black Swan, The Tree of Life and Melancholia all falling firmly into the ‘epic, grandiose, art house’ category, and films such as Captain America, Thor and X-Men: First Class representing the ‘slick, stylish, super-hero’ category, 2011 was a case of high vs. low art. Or was it? Black Swan was almost an adaptation itself, of a ballet; and Melancholia was a science fiction about the end of the world. Captain America and X-Men First Class dealt with issues of patriotism and racism respectively. Perhaps films cannot be so clearly categorised. Let’s just call it a Year of Quality Cinema, shall we?

10. Tangled

Tangled was a return to form for the ‘Disney Princess’ films, delivered with a pinch of self-parody. It featured a feisty heroine, a thoroughly modern and witty script, and magical animation – and the delight of seeing a kid’s animation with a female protagonist. For all of Pixar’s virtues, boy are they male-protagonist heavy.

9. Submarine

A cool, fresh coming-of-age film, Submarine was the directorial debut from Richard Ayoade (Moss from The IT Crowd). Following Oliver Tate (Craig Roberts) an outcast who doesn’t even necessarily want to belong, Submarine had a distinctive style, with stark colours and interesting cinematography.

8. Page One: Inside the New York Times

Rarely are documentary makers given such extensive access as director Andrew Rossi as when going behind-the-scenes of the most famous newspaper in the world. Page One is an illuminating investigation into the death of print media, the rise of the internet and the decline in quality journalism.

7. Beginners

An understated film that barely registered upon its Australian release, Beginners is a somewhat twee romance and drama, which nonetheless manages to explore the depths of the human heart with wit and warmth. Starring Ewan McGregor, Melanie Laurent and Christopher Plummer, Beginners was a quietly moving film about beginning to live.

6. 127 Hours

Based on the true story of an American man trapped under a boulder in the Utah desert for 127 hours, who eventually escaped only by sawing off his own arm, 127 Hours is just as tense and harrowing as the synopsis suggests. It is gut-wrenching, stomach-churning, nail-biting, and a generally body part-affecting film.

5. Bill Cunningham New York

This documentary manages to paint a touching, warmly humorous portrait of the iconic street fashion photographer Bill Cunningham, and although it doesn’t dare invade his closely guarded privacy, Bill Cunningham is an insightful, special film that shows there is more to fashion than clothes, and more to any individual than meets the eye.

4. The Tree of Life

This sprawling, slow-moving film from Terrence Malick was divisive, but for some patient viewers the film was an emotional and visual masterpiece. Both an intensely personal and existential, extensive film, The Tree of Life was a meditative look at everything from the nature of memories, to the nature of mankind. Brad Pitt turned in an exceptional performance.

3. Midnight in Paris

Midnight in Paris was a surprisingly sweet love letter to the city from Woody Allen, a writer/director best known for his bittersweet stories set in New York. With a witty script, a magic-realism twist and stunning scenery of Paris, the film goes down a treat – like a buffet of French baked goods, with sweet wine for dessert.

2. Drive

Drive was a hyper-stylised, fully-realised arthouse action, featuring a fantastic synth soundtrack and lush cinematography. It cemented Ryan Gosling as one of the best actors of his generation – as if there were even a contentious point – and blended entertainment with originality, high art with low. Drive was a film about what drives people.

1. Black Swan

Black Swan was robbed of the best film title as the Academy Awards earlier this year, and remains by far the best film of 2011. A beautiful and brutal re-imagining of Swan Lake, Black Swan veers towards magic realism, with supernatural themes blurring the line between insanity and reality. A truly exceptional film, in every regard. It missed out on the Best Picture statue, but gets this reviewer’s top spot. Surely consolation enough?

Moneyball

Moneyball combines two things that I love: baseball, and using maths to solve crime. Wait, that’s not right. I mean, using maths to assemble a winning baseball team.

General Manager of the Oakland Athletics Billy Beane (Brad Pitt) grows sick of watching as other, better-funded baseball teams steal all his best players. Beane then meets Jonah Hill (a serious role? Don’t know how I feel about this!), a recent graduate who is keen on using baseball statistics to help Beane reassemble his team – after all, winning games is about getting runs, and to get runs you don’t necessarily need the best players. Cue some scenes where the underdog team gradually earns respect… but not without controversy. Also, there are hot baseball uniforms.

Moneyball seems too long, and despite being co-written by Aaron Sorkin there’s not the speedy plot progression you would expect. However, the film portrays well the passion and sheer speed of decision making on which profession league baseball thrives, and it is here that Sorkin’s input is obvious.

That said, Moneyball is very engaging, and Pitt turns in another solid (if not entirely memorable) performance. Watching as Beane trades players as though they’re Pokemon really drives home how much professional baseball is controlled by money.

Overall, a solid film, but not your typical fist-pump sort of sports film. A must for any baseball fans.

Drive

Drive (directed by Nicolas Winding Refn) is a hyper-stylised, fully-realised, arthouse action – with a fantastic synth soundtrack and lush cinematography.

Ryan Gosling is the ‘Driver,’ a stunt driver by day, who moonlights as a getaway driver for heists by night. He lives a solitary existence, but when he falls for his neighbour Irene (Carey Mulligan), and becomes close to her son Benicio (Kaden Leos), his life of emotional distance is kicked into gear. When the Driver becomes embroiled in a heist involving Irene’s estranged husband Standard (Oscar Isaac), which goes horribly wrong, he finds himself tailgated by criminals that are after more than money.

Drive isn’t a film driven by plot or copious amounts of communication between the characters – rather, by its vague but great emotions, and lofty abstracts of greed and ambition. It’s also not a speedy film – if anything, Refn has applied the brakes. It’s slow, and big, and complicated – everything ‘car’ films are not supposed to be, but it works.

The horsepower in Drive lies in its blend of entertainment, but also originality. It’s slick but also shocking. It’s a combination of both high and low art. For every scene of neon-drenched ultra-violence is a shadowed shot of hypnotic slow-motion.

This is a film that features driving, but this is more a film about what drives people – what motivates them, and the events that push people forward.

Sidewalls

Screened at Dendy Cinemas during the Canberra International Film Festival, Sidewalls is a clever and charming romantic comedy set in Buenos Aires.

Reflecting on how different landscapes – whether the architecture of the city, or the digital world – can both connect and isolate people, Sidewalls explores how even in a city thrumming with people, individuals can feel completely alone. Martin (Javier Drolas) and Mariana (Pilar Lopez de Ayala) live in buildings opposite each other, and while their paths cross at many points throughout the film, it seems they are destined to never meet. Instead the audience is privy to the intricacies of their private lives, stories of their past heartbreaks and their current fears, and the quirks of each character that show just how perfectly they are suited to one another.

Sidewalls has been compared to Woody Allen’s films from the 1970s: it features the same kind of characters with the same kinds of neuroses; the cityscape is an integral part of the plot; and love is bittersweet but no less necessary because of it.

There is little to criticise here, except for a few moments that are slightly over sentimental. But most of the time this is a clever comedy with witty wordplay, and includes some amazing cinematography that highlights the hidden beauty of Buenos Aires – of any city, really – that can be so easy to overlook in day-to-day life. 

Jucy

Jucy is a surprisingly accomplished Australian comedy. “Australian comedy,” I hear you ask, “Does such a thing even exist?!” In recent years, the answer has increasingly been, “Yes.” It turns out not all Australian films are depressing accounts of regional isolation and emotional distance. Jucy follows two main characters – Jackie (Cindy Nelson) and Lucy (Francesca Gasteen), who together are ‘Jucy’ – and depicts the intricacies of female friendships, or “womance.”

Jackie and Lucy are in their mid-20s, and fine with their status as town kooks – but their friends and family don’t approve of how the two haven’t changed since they were teens. Both have relationship hang-ups and stalled careers, but when they are challenged to grow up, the strain they put on themselves begins to put a strain on their relationship.

For a low-budget production, Jucy looks great. The film is brightly coloured, and the quirkiness of Jackie and Lucy allow for some unexpected outfits that lend visual flavour. Jucy has been called a “womantic comedy,” and with so many films focusing on romantic relationships, it’s nice to see one that focuses on what can be an even more enduring bond – friendship. 

Some scenes are slightly stilted, and perhaps would have benefited from a few more takes – but Jucy is, overall, a very sweet and silly film.

Real Steel

Set in the near future – where boxing is done not by men, but by 8-foot-tall steel robots – Charlie (Hugh Jackman) is a down-on-his-luck promoter, trying to piece together robots out of scrap metal while avoiding his debtors. After finding out he has an estranged son Max (Dakota Gouo), Charlie first tries to sell the young boy, but then takes him on the road as the two start working as a robot training team.

For the first half of the film my thoughts were along the lines of, “Please, let a giant steel robot knock me out, this film is so tedious,” as well as, “who knew Hugh Jackman had the chutzpah to act a character who is even more of an asshole than Wolverine,” and, “I know it’s still stupid to be hung up on this, but what a stupid title.”

However, two-thirds of the way through, I was singing a different tune. The tune of the unsuspecting victim who has been successfully indoctrinated into a cult, and finds themselves an alto in the cult choir. Instead of the sensible and measured reaction to the film I had initially held, I had allowed myself to be won over by emotion. I was all, “Go, Adam the robot, go! You punch that other robot!” and, with a benevolent chuckle, “Oh, that young Max. What a charming young child.”

It’s a silly premise, but it’ll suck you right in.

Footloose

For those who haven’t seen the original Footloose staring Kevin Bacon, the plot is as follows: Ren (Kenny Wormald) moves to mid-west American town along the bible bent, where the community has outlawed late nights, drinking and dancing to protect their young people. Ren takes umbrage at the illegality of dancing, and begins campaigning to change the law, putting him into conflict with community-leader Reverend Shaw Moore (Dennis Quaid) – who just so happens to be the father of his high-school love interest Ariel (Julianne Hough).

There are many things I don’t understand about this re-make of Footloose. Why is the main character such a mediocre dancer – surely there were many other young men with the right moves in Hollywood, desperate for their big break? Why make the female love interest so un-likeable? And does Dennis Quaid do anything but these “surly father” roles anymore? But the thing that boggles my mind most of all, is why even bother re-making the film, when so much of it is exactly the same. The same lines of dialogue, the same camera angles, and the same musical numbers.

Despite its similarities to the original, Footloose is fun, is somewhat lacking the original’s heart. It’s a high-energy, modernized take on the teen classic, that is guaranteed to get your toes tapping. Just be ready for some fairly trite dialogue, delivered with the utmost sincerity.

The Canberra International Film Festival

A FILMIC FEAST

The Canberra International Film Festival may well be the most exciting time of year in Canberra for film buffs and cultural connoisseurs more generally. It’s better than Christmas. It’s CIFF-mas.

CIFF’s Artistic Director Simon Weaving, the man committed to bringing Canberra the best international films from around the world, is once again at the helm of the festival in its 15^th year. “It’s still our job to bring the best films from around the world, to people who wouldn’t otherwise get to see them.”

It’s a job that Weaving takes seriously. He travels to the Cannes Film Festival each year in May, to shop around the film ‘marketplace’ for his produce. “Most people know Cannes from the red carpet, but the other part of Cannes is that there are literally 1,000 plus movies being shown in small rooms all over the village, and you run from one screening room to another, seeing as many films as you can in ten days.”

On top of that, he spends a lot of time working with the other film institutions in Canberra. “We spent a lot of energy revamping the relationship with the National Film and Sound Archive.” He laughs, “And I feel like I live at Dendy Cinemas.”

Considering the number of films that show at Cannes each year, one wonders what it is that helps him decide which films are worthy of CIFF. “Obviously there has to be a baseline production value, but I really look for story. I’m a great believer in it. I really think humans are hardwired for story, and that’s how we make sense of the world.” Weaving laughs, “I’ll never forget this trick my Dad used to play on us when we were kids, when we’d get sent down to the grocers with a shopping list. But instead of giving us a list, which we would forget, he’d make it into a story. ‘Once upon a time there was a loaf of bread, and the loaf of bread went walking down the road and he bumped into a bag of sugar.’

“You also want to make sure that you have plenty of different nations represented, and genres. It’s funny how these things go. My first year we had no French films – it wasn’t a good year for French film – and I thought, ‘My god, how can you possibly have a foreign film festival without French film?!’”

One of the things that makes CIFF stand out, and makes it easier for audiences to pick which films they might be interested in, are the themes – the ‘strands’ – the festival is segmented into. This year the themes are Driven (featuring characters who are obsessively driven), A Touch of Desire (romance), Out of Africa (self explanatory), Can’t Stop The Music (musicals and music biopics), Lost and Found (featuring characters searching and longing), Madness and Mayhem (wacky comedies), Hold On Tight (edge-of-your-seat thrillers and action films), Real-to-Reel (documentaries), and Face-to-Face (biopics).

There are added extras at the film festival this year too, which Weaving wants to talk about. The ‘On The Couch’ sessions in the Dendy Premium Lounge are where audiences can go to hear the people involved in the films talk. “On the Couch is a way to get up close and personal with the filmmakers, or the people behind the movies. So Bryan Brown for example, is going to be here.” Another special feature are the screenings of films that feature a Q and A with the director afterwards, this year including films such as Limbo, Toomelah, Armadillo, I’m Not Dead Yet, Lapland Odyssey, and Memoirs Of A Plague. “It’s great for people who just want to get a bit of context around a film, or a filmmaker. For me, it’s the difference between going to a museum, and getting a private tour with the artist.”

This year there are also two outdoor screenings at the National Film and Sound Archive of ‘80s cult classics, the so-bad-they’re-good Xanadu and Can’t Stop The Music. Simon says, “They were popular in Australia at the time, though. Disco had peaked in the US, but it wasn’t yet dead in Australia. We were still really into it.” Weaving laughs, and says he wants to encourage everyone to “dress up in your best disco gear and come and watch The Village People in Can’t Stop The Music.”

The opening and closing nights of the festival are also well worth getting along to – Restless from director Gus Van Sant, and Score: An Ice-Hockey Musical. When talking about why he picked these films to bookend the festival, Weaving says, “Well, with Restless, obviously Mia Wasikowska is in it, and she’s from Canberra. Then I was looking for a film that would help celebrate the end of the festival, and what’s better than a musical? Plus, Olivia Newton-John is in it. We’re bookending with Australian actresses.”

I ask what films Weaving thinks BMA readers might be most interested in, and he takes the selection seriously, ‘umming’ and ‘aahing’ over the pages of the program. Eventually he settles on Trollhunters, Yellow Sea, Attack The Block, and Lapland Odyssey. Lapland Odyssey is a film that Weaving has mentioned a few times throughout our interview: “It’s just an absolutely crazy road movie!”

And what’s in store for future years of CIFF? “2013 is the centenary of Canberra, and I can’t tell you what we’ll be doing, but we’ll be doing something incredibly special that year. It’s a big secret, but it’s going to be amazing.” Looks like we’ll just have to wait and see.

The Canberra International Film Festival is screening at the National Film and Sound Archive’s Arc cinema, as well as Dendy Cinemas from Wednesday October 26 to Sunday November 6. Ticket information and the full program are available from canberrafilmfestival.com.au .

Abduction

The plot of Abduction is muddy, poorly executed and complete nonsense (and contains no actual abducting). It can be summed up thus:

Taylor Lautner: “Boy, I love being an ordinary teenager and not wearing a helmet, ever!” “That missing kid photo looks like me!” “WTF, it is me! You ain’t my real mama and papa!” “Why are these dudes attacking me and talking about Facebook?” “Oh wait, this is why my (fake) dad taught me to kick ass!” “My real dad is a badass? Sweet!” “Oh, everyone wants this poorly-explained list? I thought they wanted to touch my abs…”

Lautner cannot act for shit. He has two looks: “laughing because I’m a carefree teenage boy” and “moodily looking into the distance”. He also struggles with sexual chemistry, if it involves him keeping his shirt on. His love interest (let’s just call her “Eyebrows”) tries her best to look tough-but-pretty, but Lautner barely throws her a bone (chuckle chuckle). They share a dull kissing scene that doesn’t have the chemistry that an orange has with a fruit bowl.

Why the hell is Sigourney Weaver in this? Or Jason Isaacs for that matter? Did they lose a bet? I’m so confused.

Is Abduction a pile of rubbish? Yes. Did I thoroughly enjoy watching it? Hell yes.

Crazy Stupid Love

I don’t crazy stupid love the film Crazy Stupid Love, but I moderately and sensibly like it.

A film about the wacky things love can make us do, Crazy Stupid Love follows three different relationships, and intertwines the storylines in unexpected ways. Cal (Steve Carell) and Emily’s (Julianne Moore) have been together since they were high school sweethearts, but encounter problems when she admits that she has had an affair. Jacob (Ryan Gosling) and Hannah (Emma Stone) are in their mid-twenties, and Jacob is amusingly confused when he finds himself in love with a girl for the first time. Robbie (Jonah Bobo) is Cal and Emily’s son, madly in love with his babysitter Jessica (Analeigh Tipton).

Despite this promising premise, Crazy Stupid Love falls down in pacing and structure. The dialogue is witty ad fast paced; but the space surrounding the dialogue, and the way the script has been structured, makes the film quite stilted.

What makes Crazy Stupid Love and overcome its flaws is the very talented cast. Carell, Moore, Gosling, Stone – even young Tipton – all turn in great performances. Plus, none of the romances are unbelievable or stupid. (Except the “children in love” subplot, which I have no sympathy for. Kids annoy me.)

A significantly-better-than-average ensemble piece, Crazy Stupid Love doesn’t inspire the adoration the title suggests – but it is humorous and heartwarming, smart and sweet.

Submarine

Submarine is refreshing: cool and unexpected, compared to the lukewarm, slightly stagnant efforts that constitute most other film about teens – even those self-consciously trying to achieve something with an edge.

Oliver Tate (Craig Roberts) is a fifteen-year-old outcast who just wants to have sex with his cool and complicated classmate Jordana (Yasmin Paige) and save his parents’ marriage (Sally Hawkins and Noah Taylor). He monitors his parents’ sex life by the dimmer switch in their bedroom, and takes to stalking the new-age hippy next door, Graham (Paddy Considine). But these idiosyncrasies are merely Oliver’s way of avoiding the world, and as the film progresses he must confront the difficulties of human relationships.

The supporting cast turn in some great performances – particularly Hawkins and Taylor, who play Oliver’s parents. Beneath the more superficial quirks of the film, is something of a little more substance. This is a film about serious physical illnesses and depression; and what it looks like when people are falling apart.

Beyond the substance, director Richard Ayoade (from The It Crowd) has also given Submarine a distinctive style: stark colours and interesting shots. This combination of style and substance lends Submarine a definite “Wes Anderson” vibe, which is high praise indeed from this reviewer. The dry delivery, the deadpan humour, combined with cinematography that is both beautiful and unusual is reminiscent of Anderson.

Submarine is a film you can truly submerge yourself in.

Page One

When the internet was born, newspapers began to die. This isn’t newsworthy information, but what makes Page One interesting is the unprecedented access to the paper the audience is privy to. The film covers a lot of ground: why print journalism is unsustainable, the pitfalls of online news, plus a few tangents into the sordid world of corporate media management and corruption more generally. It’s an informative film, but also incredibly entertaining and engaging. 

Rather than just an investigation into the external factors affecting print runs, director Rossi gives the audience a surprising amount of access to personal stories. We are introduced to a variety of characters from the Media department at The New York Times – and while they are real people, they are indeed what you would call ‘characters’. One-time drug addict-come-columnist David Carr represents the old guard of journalism, while blogger Brian Selter represents the tuned-in and switched-on young guard. The relationship and tete-a-tetes between Carr and Selter makes for entertaining viewing.

This documentary is ultimately not pessimistic, however. Yes, newspapers are dying, and are not a financially viable form of disseminating the news. Yes, online ‘news’ blogs featuring more Paris Hilton than Palestine are on the rise, and rarely have the resources to employ fact checkers, or invest in long form investigative journalism. But no, news is not dead. It just needs to adapt; evolve. Unfortunately, this film doesn’t know how.

One Day

One Day has faced far more, and much more caustic criticism, than its source material – the bestselling novel of the same name, by David Nicholls. However, while it’s true that the film is an overly sentimental and slightly mawkish romance – it’s no more so than the novel.

Emma Morley (Anne Hathaway) and Dexter Mayhew (Jim Sturgess) first meet on July 15 1988, after their college graduation. The two of them couldn’t be more different: Emma is bookish, while Dexter is brash. After almost sleeping together, the two decide to be friends – and the film subsequently shows one day in their lives each year, for the next 20 years. Over time their relationship grows and while it may take them 20 years, eventually Emma and Dexter realise they were always meant to be together.

I’d forgive you if you were dry-retching right about now. But there are a few things that make One Day stand out from a crowd of romantic dramas, each trying to tell a love story like it’s the first time such an emotion was ever felt. The script is more interesting and witty than most, and director Lone Scherfig (An Education) imbues the film with some beautiful imagery. Mostly, though, the success of the film is due to Hathaway and Sturgess, who manage to deliver their often cringe-worthy dialogue without cringing. If you enjoyed The Notebook, you’ll like One Day.

CANBERRA SHORT FILM FESTIVAL

The CANBERRA SHORT FILM FESTIVAL (CSFF) has been a staple in the cinema diet of filmmakers and film enthusiasts in Canberra for the past 16 years. This year, under the direction of Anna Koprowska, the film festival is bigger than ever before.

Koprowska, a native from Poland, had extensive experience with festivals and film production in Europe. When asked what aspects of the festival she is involved with as director, Anna replies, “Really everything. It’s been a lot of work. With larger film festivals, even when you’re the director, there are many more people involved. With a smaller festivals, you are involved in every single thing.”

She clearly has a vision and a lot of affection for the festival, saying, “I really love this little project – and when I mean little, I actually mean short, because it’s not a little event at all. In Canberra it’s really the second largest film festival after the International Film Festival.” The number of films they received this year was “200! Well, it was really 199, but only because one had to be disqualified!”

Anna is particularly animated when she talks about the opening and closing nights of the festival, which will include screenings of Oscar-winning short film The Lost Thing, and Yorram Gross’ (creator of Blinky Bill) cartoon Professor Filutek.

Talking about what makes the CSFF stand out from other film festivals in Canberra, Anna says, “If you look at the Canberra film festivals they’re either very local, like Lights! Canberra! Action!, or they’re international film festivals, like Flickrfest. We are very strictly a national competition.”

The CSFF used to have a specific Canberra focus, but looks to be angling itself to become a major national competition. Anna talked about her decision to remove the Canberra region category this year, saying, “I understand that caused a controversy… It was done because in the Canberra region category you had schools, emerging, and practicing filmmakers. Obviously for whoever was judging these things… it was difficult.”

However, Anna stresses that, “in every section we have at least one Canberra film.” In the practicing category are Marisa Martin’s Tegan the Vegan, and Alex Chapman and James Lane’s Occupants. In the emerging category is Christian Doran’s Falling, in the grassroots category Jimmy Ennett’s Invasion, and in the Schools category a film from students at Narrabundah College.

To close, I ask Anna what category is not to be missed this year, and she gives an inspiring answer: “I really like the grassroots category, because these people are mostly students. And while they don’t get that much money, they are so full of ideas. Big money, in many cases, can kill imagination and limit a filmmaker. It shows you how innovative young people can be… with their passion and their motivation and their dreams, they can really do a great job.”

The Canberra Short Film Festival will be screening at Dendy Cinemas Canberra from Sunday September 16 to Tuesday September 18. Tickets are available from dendy.com.au, for $16/$14 concession.

The Help

It’s the 1960s, and Eugenia (Emma Stone),‘Skeeter,’ dares to do such things as get a job, when she should be getting herself a husband. Uncomfortable with the discrimination she sees around her, Skeeter decides to write a book from the point of view of the African American maids that populate her town. But young women stirring the pot – and that’s not the pot in the kitchen – is not looked favorably upon in Jackson, Mississippi.   

The Help could have very easily veered into a preachy melodrama, but it avoids this by focusing so singularly on the individual characters. It’s a film about a revolution in America, and an evolution of American politics – but aside from the occasional throwaway reference to the King or to a Kennedy, this is not a film about politics. It’s about individual people. (Though some criticism could be leveled at the film for glossing over its racial themes.)

Emma Stone is predictably likeable and sassy as Skeeter, but it is her interview subjects that steal the show. Viola Davis alone could carry the film as Aibileen, a maid struggling with what it feels like to raise and love white children, while being outcast by that child’s parents.

The Help is at its worst a sentimental tearjerker, and at its best very moving. It really doesn’t need any help, at all.

Beginners

Beginners is a charming, touching, and very human film. The film flashes forwards and backwards in time, following two narrative strands: one where Oliver (Ewan McGregor) finds out his 80-year-old father, Hal (Christopher Plummer), is gay; the second is set after his father’s death, as Oliver attempts to rebuild his life, with the help of a lovely French paramour, Anna (Melanie Laurent).

The direction of the film leaves an immediate impression: the cuts between scenes, the focus on artist Oliver’s cartoonish illustrations, the narration. But beneath these stylistic distractions lies genuine heart, which keeps the whole film together. The performances from McGregor, Laurent, and Plummer are accomplished, and there is real chemistry between the fraught father/son and tentative boyfriend/girlfriend. Plummer turns in an especially notable performance. His character experiences both discrimination and jubilation, finds out he has cancer, and feels love for the first time – and the audience feels along with him. 

Beginners could be called ‘quirky’, and some might find the film overly stylistic, and some of the costume-party-or-communicating-with-pictogram set ups too contrived. But director Mike Mills (of Thumbsucker fame) knows what he’s doing, and makes sure that the film never becomes inaccessible or unbelievable. Beginners is not quirky, with the unfortunate connotations the word can imply – rather, unique. 

Watch it – and then, go back to the beginning and watch it again.

Cowboys & Aliens

It stars genre-film-greats Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford.  It features gun-holsters and lasers. It’s a film about cowboys and aliens fighting each other, for goodness sakes. Never has such a ridiculously fun concept been conceived for celluloid. Cowboys & Aliens should have been awesome. Or at least, awesomely bad. But it’s not. Curse you, Jon Favreau, you and the horse you rode in on.

So that I don’t start shooting the bad guys preemptively, it’s not really the fault of director Favreau that Cowboys & Aliens doesn’t quite work. He made Iron Man into a great adaptation, but that’s exactly the point – it was an adaptation. This film doesn’t lack spirit or style – it lacks a good script. Cowboys & Aliens has tried to create a postmodern pastiche, but instead it just feels clichéd. It’s tired, trite and overly familiar where it should feel fresh.

The plot is pretty much given away in the title. Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig) wakes up in the middle of the desert with amnesia: he’s lost his memories, but he’s gained a shiny sci-fi weaponised cuff on his wrist. Aaaand then his small mid-west town is besieged by ‘demons’. Cue explosions.

It’s not all clumsy and incoherent. The action sequences are, there’s no other word for it, cool. But this film could have been much more fun – and cool – overall. 

Friends with Benefits

Friends with Benefits is a raunchy rom com, about two friends who decide to conduct a casual sexual relationship – no strings attached. (Just quickly, it’s a lot better than the similarly themed yet still very obviously titled, yep, No Strings Attached, released earlier this year.)

Dylan (Justin Timberlake) and Jamie (Mila Kunis) are iPad-owning, loft-living, creative-career-having twenty-somethings in New York (jealous yet?) who decide that sex should be like tennis: purely physical. But, par for the course (please note sporting idiom there), things get emotional. Dylan and Jamie develop feelings for each other, are scared of their feelings for each other, and deal with other emotional baggage along the way. Standard romantic comedy fare.

And yet Friends with Benefits is still much more enjoyable than your standard romantic comedy. The script isn’t simpering or sickly sweet; instead it’s sassy, with liberal cussing. The supporting performances (Woody Harrelson in an amusing riff on the ‘gay best friend’ role, Patricia Clarkson as Jamie’s mother) are solid. Most importantly, the chemistry between Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis is palpable – they bring out the best in each other.

Friends with Benefits makes fun of romantic comedy conventions – the convenient plot twists, the bad ‘90s soundtracks – before ultimately succumbing to them itself. Although this could be infuriating, you forgive the film because it’s so gosh darn fun. 

High-spirited and occasionally hilarious, it’s better than watching the tennis. The real tennis. 

Hanna

Directed by Joe Wright, Hanna is many things: a coming of age tale, an art house film, a revenge thriller. You might think that trying to work so many ideas together would result in a confused final production, but Hanna is actually a very competent film. The problem is, it could have been better.

Hanna (Saoirse Ronan) is a young girl who has been raised alone by her father (Eric Bana) in the snowy wilderness, trained to be an assassin. When she comes of age, she takes on a secret intelligence unit in the US, led by the ruthless Marissa (Cate Blanchett). Marissa is cool, calm, collected and completely terrifying. She makes brushing her teeth look like a scary , stressful experience. But there’s a sci-fi mystery behind Hanna’s birth, that is revealed throughout the course of the film. 

Joe Wright has done his best, and there are some elements of the film that should be applauded. The direction, the performances, the sound design, and soundtrack (by The Chemical Brothers) are all fantastic. Unfortunately, the script is quite poor. The dialogue is subpar – clichéd and obvious – and the light-hearted, comedic moments that have been included are jarring.

It’s a testament to Wright’s power as a director that he has taken a lacking script, and still created a film that is, honestly, very good. Hanna is smart and interestingly shot – and how often can you say that about an action film?

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Rise of the Planet of the Apes may be cumbersomely titled, but it’s a surprisingly enjoyable prequel. Then again, it’s surprising that the franchise could be fun at all, after the truly appalling 2001 instalment, starring Mark Wahlberg.   

The film shows the story behind how Earth became populated by super-smart apes. James Franco is a promising young scientist (and not completely unbelievable in this brainiac role, given that Franco has, like, three PhDs or something) working on a radical drug with the potential to cure Alzheimer’s. However, when the apes it is tested on start to display an increasing IQ, the true power of the drug becomes apparent. Caesar the ape – the young doctor’s test subject, pet, but also friend – soon becomes the leader in an ape revolution.

Rupert Wyatt has given this film some stylish direction, and the computer generated chimps and gorillas are quite remarkable. Their faces are so sympathetic  and moveable that you forget you aren’t looking at a living human being, let alone an unreal monkey. There’s a lot more to enjoy in RotPotA besides. The beautiful personality of Maurice the Circus Orang-utan; the subtle verbal references to other Planet of the Apes films; the hilarious visual references to Marxism.

RotPotA is engaging, enjoyable, and might even make you think about animal rights. If not that, then at least you’ll be able to appreciate Franco’s good looks—ahem, I mean, performance.

Harry Potter Mania

It is almost impossible for this writer to be objective about Harry Potter. I mean, it’s Harry freakin’ Potter. Harry and his cohort of school chums were probably more influential on my growth as a pre-teen than my own parents. J. K. Rowling’s magical world instilled in me a firm belief in the difference between good and evil, and an indiscriminate adoration of people with (a) glasses, (b) red hair, and (c) bushy hair.

There is little point discussing the plot of Harry Potter as it has become so ubiquitous. Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling follows the adolescent wizard Harry and his friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger through their adventures as they try to defeat the dark wizard Voldemort. When it’s put like that, one does wonder how exactly it became such a phenomenon.

Aside from the fact that Harry Potter is a solidly-written and engaging book series, what differentiated J. K. Rowling from every other struggling young adult fantasy writer out there? The Beatles may have been bigger than Jesus, but Harry Potter is arguably bigger than the both of them. J. K. Rowling’s success in turn inspired an onslaught of imitations as publishers attempted to ride on the wizarding-cloak-tails of Harry’s success.

One thing that perhaps sets Harry Potter apart from other fantasy books aimed at young adults is the intelligence of the series. J. K. Rowling never wrote down to her younger audience: she explored morally ambiguous characters, used spells drawn from Latin roots, and asked the hard questions. What is the difference between good and evil? What separates Harry and Voldemort? Aside from, obviously, their looks.

Harry Potter also appealed to readers of all ages, and readers of all genres, and even ‘non-readers’ – partly because this is not a genre book. Although you will find it in the young adult fantasy section at most book stores, Harry Potter is more than that. It’s a book for adults, and a moral guide, and a romance, and a comedy, and a horror. Harry Potter is by turns laugh-out-loud funny and frightening.

But the real hook in the Harry Potter series? It was, and remains, genuinely suspenseful. How else can I explain my 16-year-old self wearing a Ravenclaw scarf, and lining up outside a bookstore at four o’clock in the morning to pick up my pre-ordered copy of the final book? How else can I explain late nights reading each novel under the covers of my bed?

Now, of course, the book series has finished. The movie adaptations have concluded. The suspense, surely, must have run its course? Not so. I have a 20-something friend who recently started reading the series for the first time, and admitted to staying up until 5 o’clock in the morning reading because they couldn’t put the book down. Entertaining the youth of today with good wholesome fun like that… it’s got to be magic.

Captain America: The First Avenger

But it’s the best, guilty-pleasure kind of cheese. Watching Captain America is like sitting down to devour an entire wheel of camembert, and not even feeling bad about it.

The last stand-alone film before the release of The Avengers (which will feature characters Iron Man, The Hulk, Thor and Captain America), follows Steve Rogers (Chris Evans). After being deemed unfit for military duty during WWII due to his diminutive stature and general weakling-status, Steve volunteers for a dangerous experimental research project, that turns him into a super soldier: Captain America. As well as being pitted against the Nazis, the mad Red Skull (Hugo Weaving) and his evil army Hydra, the Captain must also find time to win over the girl: Agent Carter (Hayley Atwell).

Despite being cheesy, Captain America is also clever. The things that could have very easily made this film unbearable (overt patriotism, the convenience of having an unbeatable hero) are dealt with in a vaguely tongue-in-cheek manner, and used for laughs. There are great supporting performances throughout (from Tommy Lee Jones, Dominic Cooper, and Staley Tucci in particular), and fans will enjoy the frequent references to the other Avengers characters (Thor’s extended family of gods gets a mention, as does Iron Man/Tony Stark’s father, Howard Stark).

There’s much more to enjoy besides: Captain America is fun, fast-paced and flashy. Everything an Avengers film should be.

Bad Teacher

Elizabeth (Cameron Diaz) is a bad role model turned teacher: she smokes, shows up hungover to class, and gets high in-between lessons. When her rich fiancé dumps her, she turns her attentions to the moneyed substitute teacher Scott (Justin Timberlake), but she has competition from the preternaturally perky teacher Amy Squirrel (Lucy Punch). Plus, she must ward off the affections of the dry, deadpan gym teacher Russell (Jason Segel).

Jason Segel is great as Jason Segel, as usual. Cameron Diaz has made a name for herself playing bright, sunny, sexy leads – but here she does bitter, cynical and sexy well. Justin Timberlake was surprisingly good in drama The Social Network, and here he shows he can also do comedy. He is by turns so dumb, so superficial, and so weirdly sexually repulsive that you can barely believe you are watching a former member of tween heartthrob group ‘N Sync on screen.

Where the film fails is the script. The dialogue falls flat, and the jokes aren’t as outrageously bad as they want to be. Look, I’m not suggesting film school detention for director Jake Kasdan. But a little tutoring might not have gone astray.

Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty wants to be a challenging, confronting depiction about one young woman’s detachment from the real world. While it arguably achieves this, it is also devoid of meaning and dull.

Lucy (Emily Browning, Suckerpunch) is a university student who is unable to engage with her life. Her passivity is alarming. When she answers an advertisement to become a lingerie waitress, she is drawn into a world where money can buy men whatever sexual fantasy they desire. She eventually volunteers for a job where she is drugged – essentially put into a coma for a number of hours – and rich, decrepit old men pay to do whatever they want with her body during that time. When she awakes, she remembers nothing.

Some of these scenes are unsurprisingly disgusting and confronting, and I’m sure many viewers will dislike Sleeping Beauty because of it. However, it was not the depictions of depravity that ruined Sleeping Beauty – because of course, they are entirely the ‘point’ – but rather how the point seemed to lack any meaning, message or emotional substance. It should have elicited an emotional response, and one can see what writer/director Julia Leigh was trying to accomplish, but the film falls flat. Sleeping Beauty is, as the name might suggest, quite tiresome – but unfortunately not even particularly visually impressive.

Unless you’re inclined to be outraged by this film, Sleeping Beauty is a bit of a snorefest.

The Tree of Life

The Tree of Life (directed by Terrence Malick) is a dreamlike, meditative look at memories, and the nature of mankind. It is both a sprawling and intensely personal film – and one that is incredibly picturesque.

Jack (Sean Penn) is an architect disillusioned with the constructed, man-made world, who reminisces about his childhood (where he is played by Hunter McCracken) and the opposing forces of his mother (Jessica Chastain) and father (Brad Pitt) growing up. This is merely the most linear portion of the film, however, and it is interwoven with an extended montage depicting the evolution of the earth, and scenes from a dreamy afterlife.

The film is, essentially, poetry on screen. With nothing substantial in the way of plot or dialogue, it is a series of memories, indistinct and atmospheric. The cinematography is stunning, from Malick’s conception of the formation of the earth, with swirling solar flares and crushing tides; to the constructed world of steel and glass that the older Jack inhabits, both beautiful and claustrophobic. The film is a testament to mankind, in all its forms. From the beginning of time, to the modern day.

It is also an incredibly observant film, and its representation of childhood is disarmingly accurate. Watching Jack grow up, it is at times as if you are watching scenes from your own childhood, barely remembered. A beautiful, haunting film, its images will stay with you.

Little White Lies

Little White Lies is a film about self-deception and soul-searching, set amongst a group of friends who are lying to themselves as well as each other.

Comedy and pathos come together as a group of friends travel to a beach house in the wake of an accident. Ludo (Jean Dujardin), the wild one in his group of 30-something-aged friends, has just been awfully injured in a motorcycle accident.  Despite this, the rest of the friendship group decide to head off on their planned holiday – and it soon becomes apparent that none of the group are any more together than Ludo. Max (Francois Cluzet) is rich and uptight; Vincent (Benoit Magimel) is married but also in love with Max; Eric (Gilles Lellouche) is a serial womaniser who can’t give up the chase, despite how much he loves his girlfriend; and Marie (Marion Cotillard) is a free spirit, bordering on commitment-phobic; among others.

With an ensemble cast of 12 plus, it’s perhaps not surprising that Little White Lies runs for slightly too long. At approximately two and a half hours, the film packs many an emotional punch into that timeframe. Though it’s not all doom and gloom: Little White Lies has the feel of a French, early Woody Allen film, combining comedy and melancholy in equal measure – although slightly less self-aware, and without the mockery directed towards its ensemble.

Little White Lies is both uplifting and heartbreaking – and definitely worth the time.  

Bridesmaids

Bridesmaids is bold, venturing where few chick flicks have ventured before: into the territory of bad taste. But, as this film proves, bad taste can make for good humour. 

Annie (Kristen Wiig) is just your average Liz Lemon-ish 30-something: single, stuck in life, and self-deprecating. When her best friend Lillian (Maya Rudolph) gets engaged, a battle of the bridesmaids commences between Annie and the annoyingly perfect Helen (Rose Byrne). As Annie’s life spirals wildly and often disgustingly out of control, it is exacerbated by the bizarre rituals that weddings entail.

Wiig stars in and co-wrote the script for Bridesmaids, which is causing a furor among some audiences, who seem unsure about how to deal with the prospect of women being funny. Or at least, women being funny in this particular way. Yuk-fest films have seldom been combined with chick flicks, but Bridesmaids is indeed hilarious spawn.

Aside from the gross-out elements of the film, Bridesmaids is also surprisingly touching. A meditation on female friendship and being true to yourself (and yes, those phrases are themselves more sickening than toilet humour could ever hope to be, but it’s true), the film also includes a sweet romantic subplot between Annie and bumbling cop Rhodes (Chris O’Dowd).

Gross-out humour may be one small step in everyday life for a man, but it’s one big step forward for womankind.

X-Men: First Class

A prequel to the other X-Men films that have been released in recent years, First Class is set during the swinging ‘60s, and shows the early friendship and eventual falling-out between Charles (Professor X, played by James McAvoy) and Erik (Magneto, played by Michael Fassbender). Erik and Charles meet for the first time when they both become involved in the mission to find Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon), a mutant determined to start nuclear war.

Other mutants make appearances, including Beast (played by Nicholas Hoult, Skins) and a young Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone), and Emma Frost (January Jones, an ice queen playing a literal ice queen).

Aside from the strong script and slick production, the thing that makes First Class work is the ensemble cast. Aside from January Jones (proving that her un-emoting in Mad Men is not acting, it’s just all she can do with her face), the majority of the cast turn in solid performances. McAvoy and Fassbender are unsurprisingly great.

And the bromance! Oh, the bromance! The friendship between Charles and Erik is truly beautiful – there’s just something so lovely about seeing stoic dudes talk about their feelings. Although, there are definite homoerotic under (over?) tones, which just makes the film all the more poignant. First Class is both funnier and more moving than the X-Men films that have come before.

X-Men: First Class is (and this is almost too easy) first class.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Disclaimer: despite my love of Johnny Depp (that has only been somewhat lessened by his playing exactly the same character in every Tim Burton movie) I was mostly resolved to hate the latest installment in the Pirates franchise. There is something so blatantly money-grubbing about creating the fourth installment in a trilogy, which doesn’t even star the majority of the original cast that I find vaguely repugnant. But it’s not all bad.

This installment focuses even more on Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), who is having as much fun as ever strutting, prancing and eyelash-batting his way across the screen. On Stranger Tides sees Jack kidnapped by Blackbeard (Ian McShane) and his sultry daughter Angelica (Penelope Cruz), and forced to help them find the fountain of youth. Right behind them is Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), who has turned from pirateer into privateer, and is seeking the elixir for a dying Duke.

Aside from the ‘been there, pillaged that town’ feel of the film, it also isn’t as well scripted as the previous installments. Where the previous three films were genuinely witty, and featured unexpected twists, the jokes here fall flat and the twists are either incoherent or far too convenient. Then again, the original film was famously based on a ride at Disneyland, so…

The concept has been plundered for all its wealth. A film about the fountain of youth, Pirates certainly proved one thing: some franchises just can’t live forever.

Source Code

The second feature film from Duncan Jones (David Bowie’s son, though his greater claim to fame may be his direction of 2009’s Moon), Source Code is an action-thriller which follows Captain Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal) – a soldier who wakes up inside the body of another man, and discovers that his assignment is to stop a terrorist attack.

It’s revealed that Colter Stevens is, in fact, inside an experimental Government program called the “Source Code,” which allows a participant to cross over into another man’s body for the last eight minutes of is life. Our protagonist is required to re-live the last eight minutes again and again (and again), to discover the bomber on his train. Along the way Colter deals with his daddy issues and falls in love (with Michelle Monaghan). It’s a very action-packed eight minutes.

Source Code is not the film I expected from Jones for his second foray into filmmaking, but that doesn’t make it a bad film. Despite being more action and less art house than Moon, Source Code still works – if you’re willing to suspend any and all disbelief, that is. The premise is poorly revealed, the ‘science’ in this science fiction is basically just fantasy, and there are so many plot holes one wonders how the film doesn’t disintegrate entirely.

But Gyllenhaal is charming, the story is engaging, and the romantic sub-plot adds a nice human touch. Although not smart, Source Code has heart.

Water for Elephants

Water for Elephants is an old-fashioned love story. Based on the novel of the same name, veterinary school student Jacob (Twilight’s brooding vampire Robert Pattinson, here a brooding human) takes to the road after the death of his parents. He ends up traveling with a circus, and becoming an elephant trainer. Complications arise when he falls in love with Marlena (Reese Witherspoon) the beautiful but damaged wife of August (Christoph Waltz), the cruel and complicated owner of the circus.

This is Pattinson’s first real opportunity to prove himself outside of the Twilight franchise and associated angsty teen films – which is unfortunate, because he is still not given a particularly complex role. What makes Water for Elephants worth watching are the beautiful costumes and lavish set design. Being set at the circus means there’s obviously a lot of potential for imaginative and indulgent art direction; and being set in a depression era circus adds an attractive atmosphere of debauchery and decay.

It’s a shame that with so much visual stimulation, what is boring to watch on screen is the love triangle. Rarely has there been less chemistry between two characters than between Witherspoon and Pattinson. And when the entire story hangs on their undeniable passion, that’s a problem. It’s not that the actors aren’t trying; it’s just that you can’t force chemistry. You know what they say: you can lead an elephant to water, but…

Fast and Furious 5

Fast and Furious 5 is unashamedly dumb and disastrous. The cars are fast, the women lose their clothes faster, and the dialogue is definitely not fast-paced. But it’s still relatively fun.

Vin Diesel and Paul Walker are back, reprising their roles as an ex-con and an ex-cop, now both working for the same side: ‘bad guy with a heart of gold.’ Along with these two is a selection of characters from the previous four films. Much like the individual characters themselves matter very little, the plot is equally unimportant. People speed, people break road rules, people perform unrealistic stunts: you know the drill. 

The only important plot point is that Dwayne Johnson (the artist formerly known as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and even more formerly as just “The Rock”) stars as a bad-ass cop out to catch the good-bad guys. The sight of Vin Diesel and The Rock in a stand-off makes one feel that two universes have collided, and there is about to be a rip in the space-time continuum. Luckily, the filmmakers have given Johnson a goatee, so it’s possible to tell the two characters apart. 

Most of the enjoyment this reviewer gained from watching the film, came from whispering snide comments to her fellow cinema-goers and snickering loudly whenever there was a particularly poorly-written line of dialogue (read: every line of dialogue). But that might speak in Fast 5’s favour: there’s something for everyone. 

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never

I went into Justin Bieber: Never Say Never feeling very pleased with myself. This film was going to be so appalling, and I was going to feel so self-satisfied once I’d written a scathing review revealing to the world what everyone presumably already knew: that a 12-year-old this pretty didn’t have enough of a life to deserve to be the subject of a documentary. 

How wrong I was. For one thing, Justin Bieber is actually 17-years-old. For another, he is, as it turns out, kind of talented. And thirdly, even if he weren’t, this documentary is actually well made. 

Showing the ten-day lead-up to Bieber’s sold-out concert in Madison Square Garden – a landmark performance area, which has staged greats such as The Spice Girls and Metallica – the film covers Beibz’s rise from small-town Canadian kid to worldwide tween superstar. 

With interviews from Bieber’s friends and family, his manager, his security guard, his fashion director – and every single other person in his tour troupe – the film also manages to capture the importance of social media to Bieber’s success. Bieber got his start through YouTube, and his millions of Twitter fans love the young star, in part, because he seems so accessible. It’s fascinating to see behind-the-scenes of pre-packaged pop superstardom. Not that the kid doesn’t have talent. Yes, I am officially a Belieber. 

Rio

Fun and forgettable, Rio is the story of Blu (Jesse Eisenberg), a domesticated Macaw who cannot fly, living the city lifestyle with his owner, Linda. When it is revealed that Blu is the last male of his species, he travels to Rio to meet Jewel (Anne Hathaway) the last female blue Macaw. You can, ahem, guess what happens next…! Not really. Instead, Blu and Jewel are birdnapped by some villainous animal smugglers, and upon escaping must band together with a group of street-smart city birds in Rio, to find Linda again. Along the way they all learn important lessons about friendship, being true to yourself, blah blah blah. You know the feel-good formula.

Rio is outrageously predictable, and certainly not a kid’s flick that keeps its adult viewers in mind. With nary a self-referential pun or innuendo to be heard, don’t expect fast-paced banter or witty dialogue. What you can expect is a visual feast of hyper-coloured feathers and Rio street scenes.

The best thing about Rio is the vocal talent involved. This reviewer is not-so-secretly in love with the gawky Jesse Eisenberg, even in bird-form. Anne Hathaway has proved her vocal talent before in the animated Hoodwinked!, and will.i.am, Jamie Foxx and George Lopez all turn in amusing supporting performances.

Rio is a film about a bird that can’t fly and, like the main character, this film doesn’t soar to great heights – but it’s not completely landlocked, either.

Sucker Punch

Sucker Punch, directed by Zack “You know what’d be cool? If this entire film was in slow motion!” Snyder, will leave you feeling as if you’ve been sucker punched. With inarticulate themes of female empowerment (that are actually more demeaning than anything else), an utterly incoherent plot, and laughable lines of dialogue, Sucker Punch is nothing more than a fanboy’s wet dream, replete with obligatory LoTR references.

After a traumatic opening scene in which Babydoll’s (Emily Browning) harrowing adolescence is revealed, she is sent to a mental institution where she is to be lobotomized. To escape her fate, she escapes into her own mind, where she is being held captive at a brothel along with other girls at the asylum. Cue revealing outfits. And to break out from the brothel, the girl’s escape into fantasy video-game landscapes created by Babydoll’s apparently magical dancing ability. It’s just like Inception! Only it’s rubbish.

The biggest problem with Sucker Punch is that it is boring. Never has the concept of hot chicks in Japanese schoolgirl outfits kicking zombie Nazi ass been so uninteresting. The offensive faux-feminism and ridiculousness of the film could be forgiven if Sucker Punch was, well, cool – but the action sequences are overlong, and the direction mostly unremarkable.

After watching Sucker Punch you will feel as if you’ve been lobotomized. Or you’ll wish that you had been, before such a distressing viewing experience.

Never Let Me Go

Based on Kazuo Ishiguro’s dispassionate, detached and yet emotionally devastating novel, Never Let Me Go doesn’t quite live up to the source material – but it will still make you feel.

A cerebral sci-fi, this is actually a film about human relationships, more so than technology and scientific advances. Kathy (Carey Mulligan), Ruth (Keira Knightley) and Tommy (Andrew Garfield) grow up together at boarding school, where they are taught that their lives will never be like anyone else’s. The big reveal is revealed very early on: the three children are clones, created to be organ donors, who will eventually donate all their major vital organs before “completing.” As they grow older, the complex relationships between the three characters make their short lives even more complicated.

Mulligan, Knightley and Garfield are all perfectly cast, and turn in astounding performances. Mulligan is, as usual, wise beyond her years. Knightley can convincingly act a bitch, and Garfield does goofy well. The cinematography and scenery throughout is also beautiful, and combined with the understated costuming, director Mark Romanek has created a stunning visual sensibility.

The pace is glacial, and the emotional pay-off doesn’t feel nearly satisfying enough, but in the end Never Let Me Go is an atmospheric mood piece – the equivalent of some very finely crafted, yet depressing, elevator music. But really, really good elevator music.

Red Riding Hood

Set in a town of indeterminate medieval-ness, but where all the young men miraculously have copious amounts of hair gel, Red Riding Hood wants to be a slick, stylised and sexy re-telling of the classic tale about a big, bad wolf. Unfortunately, the film is none of these things. Mostly it’s just ridiculous.

Valerie (Amanda Seyfried) is the town babe (or whatever good-looking girls were in the age of fairytales – the town’s desirable maiden?) who despite being completely insipid has two men vying for her affections. They are the bad boy Peter (Shiloh Fernandez) and the wealthy Henry (Max Irons). As if a love triangle that completely rips-off Twilight isn’t enough, this film also features werewolves: one such demon lives in the town, and has started picking people off one by one.

The film makes a big point of playing up the “mystery.” Is Peter the werewolf? Is Henry? Is her mother? Is that bucket the werewolf? What about that pig, maybe it’s a were-swine? Does anyone even care? (No.)

The same woman who made Twilight, Catherine Hardwick, directs Red Riding Hood and while she cannot be blamed for the similarities in the plot, she can certainly be held accountable for the similarities in direction. The actors are all unnecessarily twitchy, and the sweeping aerial shots of trees seem to be stock footage taken from the Twilight films.

Who let this dog out?

Inside Job

Inside Job gives us the inside story behind the global financial crisis. While a documentary about home loans and interest and bankers might sound like fairly dry material, it’s anything but. This film makes hedge funds and collateralized debt obligation interesting.

The Oscar-winning Inside Job is outrageously depressing, as many Academy Award-winning films are. Research and numbers are presented in a clear and concise fashion, and there are extensive interviews with politicians, economic academics and finance insiders. This might not seem like it has the power to be soul-destroying, but the corruption of politicians and selfishness of rich regulators is disheartening. How did people on Wall Street get so, well, evil?

The profiles of the people on Wall Street are truly terrifying, and only slightly less scary than American Psycho’s serial killer banking executive Patrick Bateman. These financial advisors are so cold-blooded they are practically loan sharks, and they’re desperate to make a deal no matter the cost.

The scariest thing about Inside Job, though, is that the people behind the global financial crisis – the people who effectively caused millions of individuals to lose their homes and jobs – are for the most part still running the industry. They’re on financial advisory boards, they work for banks, and they have outrageously large houses with multiple Jacuzzis.

Still, it’s surprisingly funny, sharp and smart; Inside Job is necessary viewing – and more stimulating than a stimulus package.

I Am Number Four

I Am Number Four is a formulaic, by-numbers affair. It features insipid actors plus an appalling script, multiplied by a ridiculous premise. The final equation, I Am Number Four = negative. (I Am Number Four? I Am Number Two more like! – Bossman)

John (Alex Pettyfer) is just your regular teen – except that he’s an ALIEN. This twist is revealed within the first five minutes of the film, and so ends any potential for suspense. John is one of the last of his race, being hunted down by the evil Mogadorians. But what John finds even more worrying than being an endangered species is his burgeoning relationship with the equally bland human Sarah (Diana Agron). There’s also some stuff about a magical blue rock, evil alien bulldogs, and perhaps some sort of attempt at a narrative climax – but it’s all very forgettable.

I Am Number Four might’ve been nothing more than a sci-fi action-packed thriller – which could have been fun – except that there’s not much action, and a lot of angst. It tries to add emotional depth to the characters, but it’s honestly difficult to care about John and Sarah’s trite and tame relationship when the rest of the plot concerns genocide.

The film also sets itself up for a sequel, which is annoyingly arrogant. The only thing worse than a bad film? A bad film that assumes audiences are so stupid they will pay money to see it continued.

Rabbit Hole

Adapted for the screen by David Lindsay-Abaire, and based on his own Pulitzer Prize-winning play, Rabbit Hole tells the story of Becca (Nicole Kidman) and Howie (Aaron Eckhart), a couple who are still struggling to come to terms with their death of their four-year-old son just eight months previously. 
Although it’s very obvious that this film has its origins on the stage, it doesn’t unduly affect the quality of the film. It makes it sometimes static, and sometimes peacefully still – which is not altogether a bad thing, when attempting to portray two characters who are unable to move on, or trying to find brief moments throughout the day when they feel okay. 
Although the title evokes the idea of an unknown journey, there is nothing entirely unexpected about this film. We see Kidman and Eckhart displaying their characters’ grief, and attempting to work through their grief. But just because Rabbit Hole doesn’t show the audience anything unforeseen, doesn’t make it any easier to watch. We know what’s coming, but it’s still painful when it does. 
Both Kidman and Eckhart deliver harrowing performances, though Kidman’s has received rather more press – perhaps because audiences are so unused to seeing her utilize those facial muscles. But utilize them she does, and to great effect.
Rabbit Hole is not an easy film to watch, but it’s well worth the effort.

The Adjustment Bureau

The Adjustment Bureau is not bureaucratic. It’s hardly a film that gets bogged down by such inconveniences as ‘consistency,’ ‘practicality,’ or ‘coherent plot.’ What it does have in common with bureaucracy is that it’s really irritating. 
Politician David Norris (Matt Damon) is on the verge of winning a seat in the U.S. Senate when he meets the free-spirit Elise (Emily Blunt). David and Elise share an instant connection, and it’s almost like they’re meant to be together – only, they’re not. Cue some well-dressed agents (cough, angels, cough) of The Chairman (cough, God, cough), who appear to warn David off ever seeing Elise again. Or else they’ll cut him with their sharp fedora hats. 
The Adjustment Bureau wants to ask deep philosophical questions of the audience, but it merely succeeds in being pretentious. It wants to give us a good action sequence, but instead we get Matt Damon literally opening and closing a lot of doors. It wants to be clever like the Philip K. Dick short story it is based on, but it’s just not. 
Where the film works is between Matt Damon and Emily Blunt. Who knows why two such good-looking stars agreed to be in this poorly plotted piece, but they did – and the chemistry between the two is convincing. Their relationship lifts the film from being truly terrible to tolerable. 
This film isn’t awful. But by The Chairman it’s annoying! 

127 Hours

The ever-diverse Danny Boyle’s latest film is 127 Hours: a gut-wrenching, stomach-churning, nail-biting, body part-affecting film based on the true story of Aron Ralston. In brief, a young rock climber (James Franco) gets trapped under a boulder in the Utah desert for five days, and eventually saws off his own arm to escape.

Although the film is ostensibly about the 127 hours that Ralston spends trapped under a rock, it actually covers far more ground, showing the ways in which Ralston has been separated from the people around him – his friends and family – for a far longer period of time. It’s the emotional journey involved that really allows Franco to show what he’s made of. The subtle interplay of emotions across his face – and the fact that he carries the film almost entirely by himself – shows that Franco is a force to be reckoned with.

Boyle’s typically exuberant directorial style has been criticized for the unreality it lends to Ralston’s story; rather than a slow-paced and depressive slog towards death, 127 Hours presents a hyperactive hyper-tense race towards the finish. But the frantic and frenetic editing actually enhances the experience. The ecstatic direction allows the audience to feel some of Ralston’s rush of adrenalin.

Thanks to Boyle’s direction, 127 Hours flies by – though the gory arm-sawing sequence feels a bit like it lasts a lifetime.

No Strings Attached

No Strings Attached is satisfying in a standard ‘one-night stand’ sort of way: there’s some perfunctory charming involved and the whole thing is entirely enjoyable, but ultimately it’s a little bit forgettable.

Emma (Natalie Portman) and Adam (Ashton Kutcher) are casual acquaintances who become casual sex-partners, deciding to keep their relationship strictly ‘no strings attached.’ But as their friendship deepens, being friends-with-benefits becomes more difficult, and they find themselves falling for each other. What a conundrum!

The obstacle keeping Emma and Adam apart – i.e. their own obstinacy – is so insubstantial that it’s difficult to care about their problems. They’re going to be together, and the heartbreak on the road to happiness will be minimal.

As such a brief synopsis would imply No Strings Attached has about as much plot, as Portman has height – that is, not much. Conversely, the ratio of semi-naked romps the audience is shown is closer to representing Kutcher’s towering frame. (Seriously, Kutcher is freakishly tall. He is like some sort of overgrown man-child, what with his youthful schoolboy face, yet unnaturally large hands.)

Still, Kutcher is less annoying than usual, and it’s nice to see Portman doing comedy. Though the difference in talent and attractiveness between the two is widely divergent. I’m just saying, if I had to have a one-night stand with either of them… I’d pick Portman.

Tamara Drewe

Set in the sleepy English countryside, Tamara Drewe is based on the graphic novel by Posy Simmonds, which in turn is a modern retelling of Thomas Hardy’s Far from the Madding Crowd. When Tamara Drewe (Gemma Arterton) blusters back into her bucolic hometown – with a decidedly smaller nose post-plastic surgery, and a far greater effect on men – after years away, she stirs up the passions of the locals. She inspires the affections of visiting rock star Ben Sergeant (Dominic Cooper), the married and egotistical ageing writer Nicholas (Roger Allam) and childhood sweetheart Andy (Luke Evans). What follows is a satirical comedy involving sex, romance, cups of tea
and murder.

Tamara Drewe wants to be wickedly funny, but the script isn’t quite smart enough. The pacing is also problematic, perhaps because the graphic novel was originally a series of newspaper strips, which makes the film very episodic. It’s not awful, but it’s not quite on
the nose. However, the film is also lighthearted and doesn’t take itself too seriously, which allows the viewer to forgive many of its more obvious flaws. The ensemble cast is also excellent. Arterton plays her sexually liberated sometime-home wrecker Tamara without seeming unlikable – which is no mean feat. The most interesting characters, however, are the colourful countryside personalities. A comedy of manners without manners, Tamara Drewe is spirited and sexy, if also a little bit silly.

MELISSA WELLHAM

Sanctum 3D

Sanctum has an interesting enough premise and some beautiful underwater cinematography – but with a waterlogged script and performances that are about as thrilling as driftwood, Sanctum barely makes a ripple. Based on co-writer Andrew Wight’s life-and-death experience of leading a diving team through underwater caves, Sanctum follows suit. After a cyclone floods the cave they are working in, a team of divers are faced with rising waters and diminishing oxygen. Experienced explorer Frank (Richard Roxburgh) and his son Josh (Rhys Wakefield) must try to lead their team through unexplored underwater caves to the ocean, and to safety.

Directed by Alister Grierson, James Cameron is the executive producer of the film – a fact that has been emphasised in all the promotional material. Although I doubt that this film would have been much better even if James Cameron had directed it, it seems unfair to be linking Sanctum with Cameron’s big blockbusters. An epic Sanctum is not; it’s barely even an anecdote. The actors are mostly lifeless, even before the majority of them succumb to a watery end – which is disappointing, considering the talent involved. Roxburgh and Ioan Gruffudd are both good actors, and Home and Away’s Wakefield has proven himself before in the Australian drama The Black Balloon. It’s a shame that Sanctum will tarnish these actors’ reputations. Then again, it’s such an awful film, hopefully Sanctum will sink without
a trace.

MELISSA WELLHAM

True Grit

The Coen Brothers like to mess with genre, adding their own brand of brutality to create something altogether atypical. They’ve done period pieces, screwball comedies, mob films, and more. With True Grit, they try their hand(s) at a Western.

Based on a novel by Charles Portis (which already inspired a film in ’69, starring John Wayne), True Grit follows 14-year-old Mattie Ross (Hailee Steinfeld), a whip-smart, straight-talkin’ girl out to hunt down wanted criminal Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin) and avenge her father’s death. She engages the services of drunkard Rooster Cogburn (Jeff Bridges), the best bounty hunter in the business, and manipulates an egotistical Texas Ranger, LaBoeuf (Matt Damon) into helping her get revenge.

True Grit is – predictably – very good. The performances are superb, Roger Deakins’ cinematography is stunning, and the script is sharper than a pair of spurs. But there are also areas where the film falls flat. The pace is slower than one might expect from any Coen Brothers film, let alone a Western, where the possibility of shoot-ups and chase-‘em-downs and hangings is much higher than usual. The last 20 minutes of the film actually drag.

True Grit is not the best Coen Brothers film to date (it’s not as good as A Serious Man, though better than Burn After Reading), but at least it’ll probably always be the best Coen Brothers Western. Next they’ll be making a musical.

Melissa Wellham

Black Swan

Spiel:

Sometimes a film is made that raises the age-old question of: Why aren’t directors always making supernatural sexual thrillers about ballerinas? Black Swan is one such film. But it also raises the question of why Winona Ryder has had such career trouble since that whole highly publicized shoplifting thing. She was the indie it-girl of the early ‘90s, and Black Swan proves the woman can act. Why, then, is she in what is perhaps already the worst film of the year, The Dilemma? It’s a dilemma, indeed.

Quote:

“You fantasized about me! … Was I good?” Lily (Mila Kunis), Black Swan

Reviews:

Black Swan

Black Swan is a beautiful and brutal re-imagining of the ballet Swan Lake. Nina (Natalie Portman) wins the lead role in her company’s production. Although her technically faultless technique makes her suitable for the role of the fragile White Swan, she has difficulty with the sexual energy that the Black Swan requires. As her desire to perfect the role becomes more and more obsessive, she slowly begins to lose her mind.

Director Darren Aronofsky has proved before that he’s not afraid of a little violence onscreen – anyone remember the staples-in-flesh in The Wrestler? – and Black Swan is similar in that respect. But while The Wrestler was a depiction of gritty realism, Black Swan veers towards magic realism, as supernatural themes blur the lines between Nina’s insanity and reality.

Although the film is heavy on the obvious symbolism and melodrama, it actually works to the film’s advantage, channeling the exaggeratedly theatrical nature of ballet. Natalie Portman deserves the accolades she has received for the role, and pulls off both the volatile and vulnerable sides that this character demands.

The film’s end is clear from the beginning – it has a plot that parallels that of Swan Lake, so it’s not exactly a shock ending. But the other shocking elements of this film are the reason to see it: its uncompromising portrayal of the human mind and body in pain, and its startling beauty.

Melissa Wellham

Morning Glory

The bright and optimistic Becky Fuller (Rachel McAdams) becomes the new executive producer of ailing morning television show Daybreak. What follows is a comedy of mishaps and missteps as she must placate her warring co-hosts – Colleen Peck (Diane Keaton) and Mike Pomeroy (Harrison Ford) – handle her fledgling relationship with nice-guy Adam (Patrick Wilson), and save the show from plummeting ratings. It’s thanks to the talented cast that such a trite plot can avoid becoming tedious.

Rachel McAdams is incredibly likeable in everything she stars in, despite her oftenquestionable choices of script – The Notebook? The Time Traveler’s Wife? – and in Morning Glory she manages to steal scenes from veteran actors Keaton and Ford. Though Morning Glory does give an indication of what type of curmudgeonly roles Ford will be seen in, now that his Han Solo/ Indiana Jones days are firmly behind him.

Morning Glory is a fun, feelgood film – and I mean that without the condescension such a phrase can imply. Yes, there are mostly meaningless montage sequences to Natasha Bedingfield songs. Yes, there’s an unnecessary romantic subplot. Yes, everything miraculously turns out all right in the end. The film is clichéd, slightly chaotic, and doesn’t really have a satisfying climax – but, like the title implies, it ultimately rises to the occasion, thanks to its likeable cast. It’s not a glorious film, but it’s certainly good.

Love And Other Drugs

 Love and Other Drugs is marketing itself as a smart and sexy romantic comedy for the intelligent 20-something. Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal have been near-to-naked on every piece of promotional material, and they’re both relatively respected actors. Smart and sexy this film may be in moderation, but it’s also exceedingly sentimental. Jamie (Gyllenhaal) is an underachieving, overly charismatic ladies man who falls into pharmaceutical sales – and finds success when his company begins selling Viagra. At the same time he enters into a complicated relationship with the commitment-phobic Maggie (Hathaway), who is suffering from Parkinson’s disease.

Love and Other Drugs is braver than most rom-coms, in trying to deal with a serious disease. It’s also more interesting than most, peripherally commenting on the corruption of the pharmaceutical industry in America. But for every instance when the film tries to make an intelligent point, or show a relationship that isn’t excessively saccharine, there is a formulaic or feeble moment: the awful score playing under every romantic scene, an example of incongruous slapstick humour, or a lame ‘redemption through love’ diatribe. Of course, watching Hathaway/Gyllenhaal onscreen is still infinitely preferable to witnessing the horror of, say, a Heigl/Kutcher film – and it has a genuinely witty script. Love and Other Drugs isn’t bad; it’s just that it could’ve very easily been better. A disappointment, in need of visual Viagra.

Leap Year [Universal Pictures]

Leap Year is a lacklustre attempt at a romantic comedy. So what else is new?

Anna Brady (Amy Adams) wants the perfect life, so when her cardiologist boyfriend, Jeremy (Adam Scott), doesn’t propose to her on their four year anniversary, she decides to surprise him on a business trip to Dublin – and propose herself. Of course, a woman being so forward and forthright about her feelings couldn’t possibly be an everyday occurrence. Such presumptuous behaviour is only allowed because her beau will be in Dublin on the 29^th of February – it’s a leap year – and Irish tradition dictates that on this day a woman may propose to a man. Of course, the course of true love never did run smooth, and Anna finds herself road-tripping with the cynical, scruffy Declan (Matthew Goode), and sparks fly.

Adams is, as usual, cute as a button. Goode has that whole scruffy charm thing going on. The two of them have natural screen chemistry, and their bickering is believable. Plus, there are those beautiful Irish landscapes as a backdrop. But the script is such a complete and utter travesty that even the forces of Adams, Goode and the entirety of Ireland combined can’t save it. The plot is predictable, the romance trite, and the slapstick “comedic” moments in the film could only be called as such if the word is placed in quotation marks.

With a couple of deleted scenes on the DVD – and trust me, they were deleted for a reason – there isn’t any reason to rent Leap Year, let alone buy it. Although the day this film is named after is supposed to be something special, the film Leap Year certainly isn’t. It’s just another charmless, harmless non-event.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps is the sequel to Oliver Stone’s ‘80s classic Wall Street, which said greed is good. The sequel, then, says that greed is gooder. And the film is about as great as that sentence.

Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) is released from prison, after eight years for insider trading. Upon his release he tries to reconnect with his daughter, Winnie (Carey Mulligan), but she won’t even watch him on television, let alone meet with him face to face. Instead, Gekko bonds with his daughter’s fiancé, Jake (Shia LaBeouf), who wants his help bringing down the evil banker Bretton James (Josh Brolin). Backstabbing and backroom deals ensue.

This film is, essentially, a relationship drama. And there’s nothing wrong with that, except that in a GFC climate one might hope for a bit more meat. Instead of a real comment on capitalism, the audience is given motorcycle chase sequences and heavy-handed metaphors. Stone’s directorial style is about as subtle as a sledgehammer, but where in the original film it packed a punch, here it feels like a parody. With split screens and gimmicky graphics, it all becomes a bit painfully ‘80s – and this undermines great performances from Douglas, Mulligan and LaBeouf.

23 years after the original, you’ve got to wonder why this film was made, when so little of the material feels fresh. Maybe because it was guaranteed to attract an audience – and Oliver Stone thinks greed is good.

Iron Man 2 [Paramount]

The first Iron Man film was something of a revelation. It was a comic book adaptation that was actually fun. Iron Man was not as dark and brooding as Batman, nor as whiny and annoying as Spiderman. Iron Man 2 is still fun, but the premise just isn’t as fresh this time around.

In this second film, Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) has come out of the closet, with his metal suit, and the world is aware of his alter ego. Stark now has to contend with government interference, while also fighting off a disgustingly dreadlocked and terribly tanned Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke), who has been hired to kill him by rival inventor Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell). Not to mention dealing with all the attractive women in his life: assistant Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) and assistant to the assistant Natalie Rushman (Scarlett Johansson), who has a secret of her own.

Iron Man 2 tries to fit too much – and too many characters – into a limited period of time. The result is that some sub-plots and characters are woefully under-explored. Scarlett Johansson’s character, Natalie Rushman, seems to appear on screen for the sole purpose of making men salivate. To be fair, it’s a role she accomplishes admirably, what with all that skin-tight lycra.

Despite the lack of cohesion in this costumed caper, Iron Man 2 still features some great performances and an action-packed plot. And it’s definitely worth watching again – if not for the special features, which include the film with commentary by director Jon Favreau, then for a charming Downey Jr., a (ahem) well-dressed Johansson, or Sam Rockwell in a suit. Depending on your type.

The Back-Up Plan [Sony Pictures]

From the opening cartoon credits, which resemble the cover of a chick-lit novel – you know, a pointy-faced woman with ridiculously skinny limbs – and feature an offensively whitewashed cartoon version of Jennifer Lopez, you know that The Back-Up Plan is going to be painful. A bit like giving birth.

The film follows Zoe (Jennifer Lopez), a woman who desperately wants a family, but just can’t seem to find Mr Right. Driven by her ticking biological clock, Zoe decides to conceive using artificial insemination. However, the very day she is inseminated (and yes, the more that word is written, the more this feels like a sci-fi horror about alien offspring) she meets the man who could just be The One. Zoe and Stan (Alex O’Loughlin) decide to give their relationship a shot, and what follows is a series of predictable plot points revolving around the hilarity of pregnancy and a sickeningly sweet script. Add toothache to the list of bodily pain you will experience while watching this formulaic flick.

Although this film was written by a woman and stars a high profile female actress, The Back-Up Plan is patronising towards women. The female characters in the film are all vaguely ridiculous, over the top caricatures of baby-hungry she-monsters. Aside from the fact that Zoe has no ambition beyond getting married and giving birth (and not necessarily in that order), the most offensive thing about this film is that it’s boring and unbelievable. These characters are more artificial than artificial insemination. Jennifer Lopez is actually quite charming, but her natural screen presence is smothered beneath banality and baby talk.

Even if there’s nothing else to do on a Friday night, you could find a more suitable back-up plan. Like washing your hair. Or rolling socks.

New York, I Love You [Madman]

New York, I Love You, created and produced by Emmanuel Banbihy, is a collection of short films from various directors, based around the central theme of love in The Big Apple. The shorts vary in style, but also quality. Some are funny, some sad; some are good, some bad.

The best films are those that take an irreverent approach to depicting love. Shunji Iwai directs an enjoyable mini-rom-com, with Orlando Bloom and Christina Ricci. Brett Ratner directs another somewhat more biting but equally light piece, starring Anton Yelchin and Olivia Thirlby.

Mira Nair directs a film portraying the relationship between two diamond dealers, a Jaim man (Irrfan Khan) and Jewish woman (Natalie Portman), which is interesting for its multicultural take on New York and its community of people that is as multifaceted as diamonds.

One memorable film, directed by Shekhar Kapur and starring Shia LaBeouf, is out of place among the others in the film. It’s difficult to know whether to applaud Kapur for attempting to do something interesting with the short film format, or criticize him for making a film nobody will understand.

It’s difficult to make something like this work as a whole – each film is so distinct, the themes so diverse, and the styles so different – and New York is edited together with snapshots and segues that are meant to make the film more cohesive. The overall effect, though, is somewhat contrived. Rather than attempting to bring these films together, it might have been better to let each film stand alone.

The special features include the Scarlett Johansson directed short, These Vagabond Shoes, that was cut from the theatrical release, as well as another film Apocrypha, directed by Andrey Zytagintsev.

The Greatest [Village Roadshow]

If you can look past the melodrama of The Greatest, you will discover a genuine drama. Rose (Carey Mulligan) and Bennett (Aaron Johnson) are just a young couple in love – until Bennett is suddenly killed in a car crash. Three months later Rose turns up on his parents’ – Allen (Pierce Brosnan) and Grace (Susan Sarandon) – doorstep, three months pregnant. The Greatest follows the grieving family as they struggle to come to terms with their loss.

There are great performances from almost everyone involved. Carey Mulligan has natural charm, and a glowing iridescent beauty. She brings a quiet confidence and self-assurance to the role. Pierce Brosnan delivers a standout performance as Bennett’s grief-stricken father. There are moments when his face contorts with such acute anguish, it is almost painful to watch. But his sorrow is subtle, especially in comparison to Susan Sarandon’s portrayal of a breakdown. Her performance has some moments of realism, but at other times is too exaggerated. Johnny Simmons, recently seen in Scott Pilgrim, turns in a solid performance as Bennett’s black sheep brother.

If there’s anything to criticise, it’s that such great performances are let down by a slightly unoriginal script, which occasionally threatens to veer into melodrama. It’s a testament to actors like Mulligan and Brosnan that even when delivering incredibly clichéd lines, they still sound true.

The film is especially interesting in that the character the audience ends up liking the most – Bennett – is hardly in the film at all. But in just a few brief scenes Aaron Johnson brings to life a genuinely likeable person. Watching the film, you also feel his loss. The Greatest isn’t the greatest film, but it’s good, with some moments of beauty.

Shutter Island [Paramount]

Shutter Island may be among the worst of Martin Scorsese’s films, but considering the quality of output from this prolific director, that isn’t saying much. Shutter Island is a textbook thriller. Set in the early ‘50s, Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Chuck Aule (Mark Ruffalo) are two federal marshals investigating a number of mysterious disappearances from a hospital for the criminally insane, on the remote Shutter Island. But the more time they spend amongst the crazies, the more Teddy begins to question his own sanity.

With beautiful cinematography – shots of rolling thunderclouds and windswept seas – combined with the equally aesthetically pleasing film noir sets and costuming, Shutter Island is a visual pleasure. The film may make use of a number of genre clichés, but this is done intentionally. The perpetual thunderstorm in the background of the film; the twists that occur conveniently when the protagonist turns a corner; the occasionally obvious dialogue – they are all thriller conventions, but Scorsese has used them to make a somewhat unconventional thriller film. There is just enough ambiguity in the plot to keep the viewer interested.

The problem is that the film’s major twist – of “I see dead people” proportions – makes everything that has come before ultimately meaningless. The twist makes sense at least, but it cheapens any emotional involvement the audience may have had with the characters, and the suspense dies a sudden death.

There aren’t any special features on the DVD, but Shutter Island is one to watch more than once – if only to try and pick the visual clues that lead to the conclusion.

The Like - Release Me [Downtown]

Ah, the timeless battle between mod and rocker.  Back in the ‘60s, these two subcultures clashed over style and musical sensibilities. But The Like are a fickle band and clearly wanted to try both of the opposing sides on for size. The band’s first release in 2005, Are You Thinking What I’m Thinking?, was an alternative indie rock record – five years and a significant line-up change later, The Like have gone retro. Now not a twee tough-rock group, they are a tough girl-pop group.  Inspired by classic girl groups and ‘60s female songwriters, their new sound features hand-claps and Brit-pop guitar. 

The new sound is a little sweet, but it never turns sickly. While the girls sing predominantly about boys and relationships, it’s tough: less about true love, and more about making the boy who broke your heart wish he were dead. Opening track Wishing He Was Dead establishes the sound for the rest of the record, and songs Fair Game, Catch Me If You Can, and In The End all feature great girl group harmonies. 

The album does tend towards becoming slightly same-same, and about half way through the album the tracks begin to blur together somewhat. But each song is still a candy-coated guilty pleasure, so I’m not really complaining. It’d be easy to criticise The Like for being too twee, or super sweet. But when the music is this enjoyable, you might as well like The Like.

The Rebound [Roadshow]

The Rebound is… nice? It isn’t smart or sexy, though it’s somewhat sweet – the three qualities apparently most attractive in a man. It isn’t funny or particularly interesting. There’s not much suspense, nor drama. It’s not very emotionally satisfying, but not the worst two hours of your life. It is, in other words, a bit like a rebound.

Sandy (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is a newly single mother, who moves from the suburbs to the city to escape from her scumbag ex-husband. She gets a great new job, finds a cute apartment above a coffee shop, and hires a nanny for her kids in the shape of a good-looking younger man, Aram (Justin Bartha). Things get complicated when their employer/employee relationship takes a decidedly yummy-mummy/boy-toy turn, and become even more complicated when they develop serious feelings for each other.

There are some good things to say about this film, though it would never be worth a serious commitment. It’s surprisingly sensitive, showcasing some fairly solid performances, and doesn’t take the easy option of playing ‘cougar’ for laughs.

The real failing of this film is that where it should be funny, it’s flat. When the script should be witty, it’s weak. This isn’t helped by the fact that – despite the attractiveness of both Zeta-Jones and Bartha – there is not a great deal of chemistry between the two leads. And chemistry, more than anything, is important for a rebound. This DVD doesn’t have any special features, but the benefit of this film being available on DVD at all is that you wouldn’t have to watch it at the cinema. Despite these criticisms, The Rebound is nice. Well, nice enough.

Clash Of The Titans

One doesn’t exactly have to be an Oracle, a fortune-teller from Greek mythology, to realise before watching the film that Clash of the Titans is anything but epic. 

The film, directed by Louis Leterrier, follows the story of Perseus (Sam Worthington, with an incredibly distracting accent of no identifiable nationality), the mortal son of Zeus (Liam Neeson). To save the life of the beautiful princess Andromeda (Alexa Davalos), and stop the spread of evil minions from the Underworld across Earth, Perseus must battle Voldemort. Err, I mean, Hades (Ralph Fiennes). Along the way he is helped by a group of Greek soldiers with no individual personalities, who fall prey to various monsters with alarming alacrity. 

Clash of the Titans is little more than a series of unexciting action sequences, strung together by an uninteresting plot, and lead by some undistinguished voiceover narration. 

Of course, clichéd dialogue and crummy plots are what audiences have come to expect from action movies in this modern era, even if the films themselves are set BC.  The real Achilles heel of this film, unfortunately, is that it doesn’t give much else.  The CGI is dull, creating a range of ever more ridiculous monsters that fail to frighten. The action sequences are badly paced and, let’s face it, boring. For a film featuring gods, blood and guts, Clash doesn’t provide much visual interest. 

The fact that there aren’t any special features on this DVD, aside from a reel of deleted scenes, should tell you something. Though why anyone would want to watch more of this film than they had to, is beyond me. 

Clash of the Titans is to movies what Hades was to the rest of the Greek God family: kind of an embarrassment. 

Brothers (Lionsgate)

3 out of 5

Brothers is a psychological-drama post-9/11 film, and is both a timely reminder about the ongoing existence of war, and the effects it has on its participants.

The film introduces the viewer to Capt. Sam Cahill (Tobey Maguire) and wife Grace (Natalie Portman), on the eve of Sam’s departure to Afghanistan. When he goes missing soon after arriving in the war-torn country, he is presumed dead. Sam’s wayward brother Tommy (Jake Gyllenhaal), recently released from prison, struggles with the guilt of being left alive while his beloved brother is dead. He steps in for Sam, helping Grace with household tasks, all the while growing closer to her and the children – with consequences that will affect the entire family, when Sam is discovered alive.

Inspired by the Susanne Bier Danish film Brødre, Brothers is more than a little melodramatic. At times this is to the detriment of the film: it works best as a kitchen-sink drama, and could’ve done without some of the more clichéd lines of dialogue and obvious earnestness. But the strength of this film lies in its leads: Maguire, Portman and Gyllenhaal all deliver remarkable performances. Portman is convincing as a grief-stricken wife, and Gyllenhaal as a bad boy making good. Maguire is especially haunting as the disturbed and increasingly obsessive war veteran.

The special features on the DVD include an illuminating interview with director Jim Sheridan about the themes of the film, and a featurette about the process of adapting Brodre into Brothers. This isn’t a war film in the strictest sense of the word; rather it is a character-driven family portrait. But these characters aren’t still life – they appear to be real flesh and blood, flawed and fallible, painfully human – and the film is worth watching for this fact alone. 

Alice in Wonderland [Disney DVD]

2 ½ out of 5

Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, a pseudo-sequel to Lewis Carroll’s tale, follows Alice (Mia Wasikowska), now 19 years old, whose memories of Wonderland – or rather, Underland – appear as nothing but a dream. Alice, suffocated by strict Victorian morals and her impending engagement to a sniffling, silly aristocrat, finds herself falling once more down the rabbit hole. But once there she finds it is her destiny – with help from Johnny Depp’s schizophrenic, mercury-addled Mad Hatter and Anne Hathaway’s deliciously dreadful White Queen – to bring down the bloody reign of the Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter).

Alice follows a lacklustre and linear script, sans silliness – which is perhaps the strangest thing about the film. Unfortunately, the film itself should be strange: Carroll’s classic is a masterpiece of nonsense literature, and should not have been adapted into such a predictable plot. It is even more of a letdown than Burton’s unwillingness to subvert and make sinister a landscape that is ripe for it.

For a world that should inspire wanderlust, Underland is under-realised. The animation is not worthy of Alice’s story and all too often feels awfully artificial. It’s difficult to believe that the CGI creatures and actors are actually interacting, which makes the film feel both physically and emotionally unreal. The film does, however, look better on DVD than it did on the silver screen.

The DVD special features includes a short featurette about adapting Alice into a film, another about the development of Johnny Depp’s Mad Hatter, and another about the special effects and animation in the film – probably the most interesting of the three.

Alice in Wonderland is disappointingly lacking in wonder.

Fantastic Mr. Fox [20th Century Fox]

4 out of 5

Fantastic Mr. Fox is, as the title would suggest, somewhat fantastic. In this animated adaptation of Roald Dahl’s beloved children’s classic, Wes Anderson uses the same distinctive stylistic flare and deadpan deliveries seen in his quirky family drama-comedies, to make a family film.

Mr. Fox (voiced by the suitably suave George Clooney) is a sly and cunning thief, who gives up a life of crime to become a columnist for the local Gazette and fox father. But even parenthood can’t tame the wild animal within this skinny suit-wearing charmer, and Mr. Fox decides to pull off one last criminal caper, stealing from the mean and lean, or bad and bulky, farmers Boggis, Bunce and Bean. Of course, the plan doesn’t go to plan, and Mr. Fox must draw on all his natural instincts to fight for the survival of his family.

This film is a romance: foxy Mrs. Fox (Meryl Streep) plays beautifully against Mr. Fox. It is a bromance: Mr. Fox’s son Ash (Jason Schwartzman) must learn to live with his in every way more athletic and popular cousin Kristofferson Silverfox (Eric Chase Anderson). It also features Jarvis Cocker as an animated town troubadour!

Fantastic Mr. Fox uses stop-motion puppets and a jerky style, which makes this thoroughly modern film feel charmingly retro. The puppets are made from real fur, and the warm autumnal palette adds to the organic animation.

The DVD includes a behind the scenes look at how the crew accomplished the idiosyncratic animation style, and an amusing short featurette: ‘A Beginner’s Guide to Whack-Bat,’ the incomprehensible ball sport played by wild creatures in the film.

With offbeat humour and old-school animation, Fantastic Mr. Fox is more than a fantastic adaptation of a children’s classic; it is a classic children’s film in its own right.

Dorian Gray - Roadshow

1/2 out of 5

You might, if you’re of the literary persuasion, be pleased that Dorian Gray made it onto DVD. After all, this film had such a limited Australian release that it’s unlikely anyone – save for a few tween girls with raging crushes on Ben Barnes – saw it. But do not be pleased, gentle reader of the literary persuasion, for this film is terrible.

Dorian Gray is ostensibly based on Oscar Wilde’s classic novel, though that such a great piece of English literature could be turned into such a farcical attempt at filmmaking is a travesty. Set in Victorian England, Dorian (Barnes) is an unassuming, naïve young chap who travels to London, only to be led down the path of vice and corruption by Lord Henry Wotton (Colin Firth). But while Dorian remains youthful and good looking – and his liver fully functioning – a portrait painted upon his arrival in the city reflects the excesses of his lifestyle. The ne’er-do-well will remain young and beautiful forever, so long as no one discovers his secret. It’s essentially the same premise as the novel, except the film includes an ill-advised love story towards the end of the tale, a chase sequence through the subway and really bad special effects.

There are an unreasonable number of special features, considering how awful this film is. On-set cast interviews, behind the scenes clips, featurettes about wardrobe and make-up; the list goes on. But you’re not going to be young forever, unlike Dorian, so don’t waste your time.

Much like it was the work of the devil that Dorian’s soul was captured in a painting, so too is it an abomination that this failure in filmmaking has been committed to DVD and is now forever available to the viewing public. May our souls be saved.

The Dead Weather - Sea of Cowards [Third Man Records]

4 out of 5

Dead Weather’s (Jack White, Alison Mosshart of The Kills, Dean Fertita, and Jack Lawrence) sophomore release Sea of Cowards is sex. Sex in the shape of a CD. Horehound was a dirty, bluesy beast and their second effort sees the same sweaty and smoky sounds – with some development.  

The subject matter may be dark and depressing, but this time it’s a little more pop. The rustic edge remains, but is played against a futuristic feel, courtesy of Fertita’s experimental guitar work. 

Opening song Blue Blood Blues introduces the rest of this red-blooded album, and although White leads vocals here, Mosshart sings most songs: she purrs, snarls and shrieks her way through the album. The harmonies between White and Mosshart, their voices twisting around each other, are still what make their songs so damn sexy. Stand out track The Difference Between Us is almost a touching love song – if love songs were often characterised by dysfunction, distortion and demon woman vocals, with Mosshart crooning, “You can cry like a baby / Just let me do what I need to / It might be to me or to you”. Lead single Die By The Drop is all dirty bass, while Gasoline gets frankly funky. 

One might question why Jack White needs so many goddamn side projects, but this album should answer that question: it’s good. It’s all snake-hips, snarling lips and swagger. Take me now, Dead Weather. Each and every one of you. 

It’s Complicated (Universal)

This is not a particularly complicated film. The formulaic It’s Complicated, written and directed by Nancy Meyers, is a romantic comedy of the love-triangle variety.

Jane (the ever-charming Meryl Streep) is finally settling into divorced life, ten years after separating with her ex-husband Jake (the surprisingly attractive Alec Baldwin), who is now re-married to a woman the age of their eldest child. But during one drunken night, the sometime significant others do the hanky-panky, and so begins their secret affair. The third point in the triangle is Adam (Steve “Was He Born With White Hair?” Martin), Jane’s architect and potential love interest. Torn between two paunchy paramours, Jane proves that hard life decisions and love aren’t just for the young.

Unfortunately, three characters does not equal three personalities. Alec Baldwin is probably the most interesting of the bunch, and that’s because he plays an unrepentant, egotistical horn dog. Luckily all three actors have developed senses of comic timing, and manage to work the sometimes sickly sweet script to their advantage.

Although It’s Complicated has been praised for its portrayal of women who fall into the 50-is-the-new-40 age bracket (oh my god! They have emotions! More importantly, they have sexual desire!), for anyone who isn’t an ageist, sexist chauvinist, this will not seem like an exceptionally edgy concept – and certainly not enough to carry an entire film.

The DVD extras include an audio commentary on the film from Nancy Meyers plus a producer or two, plus a ‘making of’ featurette that mostly involves clips of the cast talking about how much they all admire and respect one another. Yawn.

Passably amusing, somewhat charming, and perfectly inoffensive – the phrases ‘entirely adequate’ and ‘mediocre at best’ spring to mind, though I’m torn between the two. Now that’s a complicated decision.

2 ½ out of 5

Nowhere Boy (Icon)

Nowhere Boy, directed by Sam Taylor-Wood, focuses on the early life of John Lennon (Aaron Johnson) and the emotional turmoil behind his musical education – he had a lot of angsty teenage drama. A young John is torn between two women: his aunt and his mother. Controlling and severe Aunt Mimi (Kristen Scott Thomas) has raised Lennon since he was a boy, and his free-spirited mother (Anne Marie Duff) hasn’t seen him since she abandoned him to his Aunt’s care.

The actors in Nowhere Boy are well cast. Aaron Johnson perfectly embodies the brash arrogance that one expects from Lennon (and he pulls off the hairstyle, too), while Thomas Brodie Sangster is instantly likeable as a white-suited, pink carnation-wearing, tea-drinking Paul McCartney.

The screenwriter Matt Greenhalgh (who also wrote Joy Division biopic Control) captures the dialogue of the time, and punctuates the script with sly references to the future of The Beatles. One of the most enjoyable aspects of the film is the typically rock ‘n’ roll atmosphere; the swinging soundtrack, the carefully coiffed hair and slick cityscapes. However, the real charm of Nowhere Boy is its heart, and how much it cares for the characters (and not just because one goes on to be a future member of the Fab Four).

The special features on the DVD are extensive, and include a featurette on the making of the film, deleted scenes, theatrical trailer and an extended interview with Sam Taylor-Wood. For Beatles fans, Lennon’s Liverpool walks the audience through the effect of Lennon’s surroundings on his music and the significant landmarks featured in the film, while another featurette includes interviews with the elderly original members of Lennon’s first band, The Quarrymen. From the references to The Beatles, to the bromance, to the stylish Buddy Holly glasses – Nowhere Boy is worth the rental, if not the cost of owning it on DVD.

Twilight: New Moon

New Moon, the second filmic instalment in Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series, is a lifeless film.

Directed by Chris Weitz, New Moon continues the story of the supposedly tragic romance between Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), a 17-year-old with no personality, and Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), an eternally 17-year-old with no pulse. In the film, Edward realises that dating a vampire might negatively impact on Bella’s health and longevity, so they break up and Edward leaves town. Bella sinks into a deep depression, but finds herself drawn to her super-buff best friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner), the only person who can make her feel alive. Jacob, however, is going through some changes – he’s a werewolf – and so Bella finds herself in the middle of a supernatural love triangle. Throw in some last minute suicide plans and evil vampires, and you have yourself a plotline.

New Moon is as much about wish fulfilment for teenage girls as ever, and unsurprisingly as anti-feminist as its predecessor. Bella can only feel alive when she has a man in her life, and her favourite pastime is cooking dinner for her father. Meyer’s religious beliefs are still apparent: abstinence is sexy, and teen marriage a-okay. Aside from the dubious male dependency message, the film is also technically inept, with strained dialogue and stilted direction. The teen leads – good-looking though they may be – also cannot do justice to the pain they are supposed to be feeling. Or, er, to any emotion, really.

The special features on the standard DVD are also disappointing. At least, I expect that one would be disappointed, if one were a fan. With one (1!) special feature – a “Team Edward or Team Jacob” featurette that splices together footage of fans on the street screaming either character’s name incoherently – I cannot imagine what might induce someone to fork out money for the privilege of owning this DVD, when there are so few incentives.

New Moon sucks – pun definitely intended.

Vorn Doolette