Megan McKeough

Hugo

Hugo is magical, interesting and beautiful to watch – all of the things good cinema should be but so often isn’t. The film makes sure you remember that, because it’s entirely the point.

Since the death of his father, young Hugo has lived alone in a train station in Paris - turning the clocks for his absent uncle, stealing food, and searching for the key to a wind-up figure that his father had been trying to fix. After a few chance meetings, the film then becomes more about the early days of cinema, the wonder of story-telling, and the importance of finding one’s purpose in the world. It sounds corny... but it’s actually kind of lovely.

It’s flamboyant, but nicely executed. There may not be any gangsters or taxi drivers, but this is still Martin Scorsese at his best, and you can see his love for film come through in this venture. Maybe he’s getting a little sentimental in his older years.

While Asa Butterfield isn’t great as Hugo, excellent support from Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen and Chloe Grace Moretz (though she’s a little irritating) elevates the film. The 3D is exceptional, actually adding to the experience of the film rather than seeming like a flashy add-on, and the setting and costumes are enchanting.

Overall, Hugo is a magnificent ode to cinema. Go, and remind yourself that cinema is actually amazing.

The Iron Lady

Margaret Thatcher’s time as Prime Minister was hardly uneventful – but I will say that The Iron Lady left me a bit drowsy in parts.

The film zips between Thatcher (Meryl Streep, brilliant as usual) as an old lady (coming to terms with what her personal decisions have cost her), and her earlier years. We dash back and forth between old Thatcher and a young, determined Thatcher just breaking into politics, and of course Thatcher at her height of power, as Prime Minister.

Basically, there wasn’t enough on the politics of the Thatcher era, which was what I went for, and far too much of Streep in old-person makeup. Plus, how are you not going to feel for her, just a little, when she’s wandering around all feeble and confused? That element irked me, biopic or not.

Though it’s not exactly wildly skewed in Thatcher’s favour, it still doesn’t sit right. Plus, the focus on her personal life meant a lot of the real gritty stuff was omitted, apart from the occasional (top notch) montage.

The film itself is not at all sure what it’s doing, what story it wants to tell, who it thinks Margaret Thatcher is. 

The Iron Lady is one of those films where the more I thought about it, the more I realised I disliked it. Overall it left me a bit cold - funny that.

Ides of March

Political intrigue; moody shots of Ryan Gosling in a suit; George Clooney oozing sinister charisma – that’s Ides of March, and you gotta love it for what it is.

Gosling plays Stephen, a media-savvy young political staffer on the way up – a young face on Governor Mike Morris’ (Clooney’s) presidential campaign trail. The political race is littered with familiar faces – Philip Seymour Hoffman as campaign manager, Paul Giamatti as opposing campaign manager, and Marisa Tomei as a determined Times reporter.

While enjoyable and engaging, I think I was a bit let down by the film in the end. There are some great tense moments, and overall it’s a solid piece – but I was expecting more twists and turns in the plot, or maybe a brawl or two. I blame the trailer for this.

However, Ides of March does further Clooney’s rep as a promising director. Go in to the film expecting an interesting commentary on American politics (no doubt coloured by Clooney’s own spin on things) and some good writing – although bear in mind that this is not Sorkin, and don’t expect it to be. The film is handled very well though, and the corruption elements are just controversial enough. Overall, this is a classy – but in the end, fairly safe – political drama well worth a watch, mostly thanks to a solid cast.

Norwegian Wood

In my dreams, Norwegian Wood (based on the bestselling novel by Haruki Murakami) would be beautiful, poignant and heartbreaking. In reality... I dozed off several times.

Norwegian Wood just never grabs you. The story itself is full of sadness, yearning and sexuality, but this incarnation seems boring and oddly paced.

Toru is a university student living through the turbulent 1960s in Tokyo – in love with an unreachable girl from his past, Naoko; haunted by memories of his friend Kizuki, Naoko’s one love; and struggling to come to terms with who he is.

Elements of this film are wonderful – the 1960s setting is nostalgic and atmospheric, and some of the themes remain poignant.

Overall, the film is just too still and unengaging. Slow films can work, but this one doesn’t have enough to keep you interested, and I felt thoroughly disconnected to all of the characters (as well as irritated by most of them).

I also felt that the acting wasn't great. Naoko was unconvincing and irritating, and Toru slightly too cardboard to empathise with. The only character worth two cents was Midori, a girl Toru befriends at university, and although she’s very annoying she is also very watchable and charismatic.

I’m very sad that this film left me as unsatisfied as it did, and while it is still worth a watch, I personally was pretty disappointed.

What’s Your Number?

Firstly, one could say that this film’s premise is offensive... nay, highly offensive. Horrified that she has reached a whopping 20 lovers (20! What a prostitute!), Ally (Anna Faris) decides to track down all of her old beaus to see if maybe one of them has magically transformed into “the one”. (Because a decent guy couldn’t possibly want a woman who’s slept with more than 20 people, as it becomes clear from everyone’s judgemental reactions to Ally’s number.)

If you can take all of this with a grain of salt (which I managed to by the end), there’s enough here to enjoy. Chris Evans plays Ally’s womanizing neighbour (complete with mad Google skills), and together they revisit the loves of Ally’s past. Kinda like Broken Flowers… except sort of awful.

Overall, this film delivers what it intends to – steady laughs with minimal emotional depth. It’s fun and frothy, and Chris Evans is shirtless. Even though there’s a cornball message (be yourself!) and nothing blindingly original going on, Faris is oddly charming and Evans puts in a solid “hot guy with a heart” performance. Some surprising actors also briefly crop up: Martin Freeman, Andy Samberg, Zachary Quinto.

Infuriating premise aside, What’s Your Number? is good for a laugh or two. And did I mention shirtless Chris Evans?

Fright Night 3D

Yeah yeah yeah – vampires, right? Done to death (pun intended). Fright Night, however, is just fun enough, just gory enough, and just tongue-in-cheek enough to make this vampire movie resurrection thing worthwhile (more puns!).

Charley (Anton Yelchin – adorable!) has a dorky ex-best friend (McLovin!), a super fine girlfriend (babe!) and a suspicious but rippling neighbour, Jerry (Colin Farrell – he got hot again!). Oh, and he lives in a Nevada town where people keep disappearing one by one (vampires?!). The plot isn’t exactly complex, and Fright Night dispenses with any mystery within the first fifteen minutes. From there, it’s a rollercoaster of gore, fangs and blooooood. Yay!

Yelchin turns in a delightful performance as the nerd turned cool guy turned vampire killer, and some throwaway vamp culture references make things all very modern. David Tennant turns up (the Doctor!) in a vague Russell Brand impersonation, and keep an eye out for a Franco smile.

Fright Night is one of those films where the trailer really says it all – straight-up action and very little depth. It’s not scary, but there are a few fun jumpy moments, and overall if you go in not expecting much you’ll have a fine old time. It’s not trying to be something it’s not, and I respect that.

Horrible Bosses

Horrible Bosses has a ridiculous premise that it somehow manages to pull off. Jason Sudeikis, Charlie Day and Jason Bateman play three rag-tag friends fed up with their bosses – sex-crazed Jennifer Aniston; psychotically ball-busting Kevin Spacey; and drug-addicted sleaze Colin Farrell. The solution? Kill them of course. Add in a dash of Jamie Foxx, generous helpings of sexual innuendo and some pleasing word play and you have a pretty entertaining few hours.

It’s hardly original – three bumbling friends try to hatch and execute a crazy plan, to hilarious results. However, there are actually a few surprises along the way, and the film maintains a level of cleverness that makes up for the cruder elements. The main drawcard (and the film is unashamed about this) is the star-studded cast of comedic staples – but the chemistry is pretty good and everyone puts in a fun performance.

I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed Horrible Bosses – yes, some of the laughs are cheap, and yes, some of the jokes are a bit of a stretch – but overall, it’s all a bit of fun. It’s a little bit insane, more than a little bit politically incorrect, and generally laughable… but hey, it’s a movie. Chill out and eat some popcorn.

Jane Eyre

I had my doubts about this literary adaptat—oh hell, who am I kidding? Michael Fassbender? Mia Wasikowska? A bittersweet romance between an unlikely pair? PERIOD COSTUME? Even if it was a heap of shit, I was probably still going to enjoy Jane Eyre.

Jane (Wasikowska) is a strong young woman who survives a fairly depressing upbringing. While working as a governess at the mysterious Thornfield Hall, she finds herself drawn to the master of the house, Mr. Rochester – despite the fact that he is a moody son of a bitch (with a heart of gold!).

For me, Jane Eyre is far from a stuffy, dull affair. I found it moody, poignant and moving, with great performances from the two leads (who crackle with the kind of electricity that even Tesla would envy). Fassbender (yum) is suitably brooding, with just the right amount of jerk injected into his portrayal of Rochester; Wasikowska is both delicate and headstrong as Jane. The cinematography is beautiful – lots of still, thoughtful shots perfectly capture the tone, and the darker elements of the story add a certain edge.

Some may find it too slow-paced, but for me it was a total delight – a touching story that has just the right amounts of gothic romance and hopeful sentiment.

The Conspirator

Ooh, a film about the assassination of Abraham Lincoln! …The assassination is covered in the first five minutes. Ooh, a film about the unfair trial of a boarding house owner charged with conspiring against the president! Courtroom drama! …Well, kind of.

Mary Surratt (Robin Wright) owned a boarding house that John Wilkes Booth and co. frequented – and after the assassination she is charged and tried for conspiracy. James McAvoy plays her impassioned lawyer, struggling against a nation who desperately want to see both Surratt punished and an end to the Civil War. Cue mayhem! Confederate beards! TOP HATS!

The court scenes are feisty enough, but some of the performances seem a bit naff, bringing down the credibility of the whole piece. Wright’s steely Surratt is fantastic, and almost looks out of place amongst the young whippersnapper performances of a cast cut from Glee, Gilmore Girls and True Blood. Tom Wilkinson shows up with a solid performance, and McAvoy does the whole ‘downtrodden force of truth and justice’ thing with true style (but with a horrible accent).

While The Conspirator has some engaging moments, it largely falls short of being outstanding. It is interesting enough and I quite enjoyed the film – but it had a lot more promise, and could have been a lot more.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

The wizarding world has arrived at its epic boss battle – and there will be kisses, deaths, surprises and mysteries. Don’t bother if you haven’t read the books, or if you haven’t seen Part 1. Here’s a summary of…

What they did right: Cutting down Ginny’s role was the best damn thing to happen to the franchise since Emma Watson got hot. Ginny is dull as dirt and her and Harry have as much sexual chemistry as two barramundi. Neville finally gets his (as well as the screen time he deserves), and Ron and Hermione share the kiss that makes Potter fans squeal the world over. The Snape storyline is handled surprisingly well, and who can’t enjoy McGonagall and Molly kicking butt.

What they did wrong: The 3D is pointless – all it does is make an already murky film look even darker. James Potter comes off as an insignificant wang; the epilogue scene is, as expected, completely laughable; and plot points are randomly changed for no good reason, or left dangling.

Overall, David Yates seems to be ticking boxes, without trying to achieve any true emotional depth or excitement. After a decade, the Harry Potter franchise is over – and it wasn’t a fizzle and yet it wasn’t a bang. I enjoyed and appreciated the final film, though it wasn’t as epic as I had always hoped.

Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon

Engaging dialogue, you ask? Um, Bumblebee is the most eloquent character. Subtlety, you wonder? This is a Michael Bay film – get your head out of your ass. Emotional depth? The main romantic lead spends the film pouting and looking mildly unsettled.

Shia LaBeouf returns as Sam, an ally of the Autobots who also manages to constantly snag hot tail (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as Carly). Carly’s hot, and can run in heels. There’s some weird plot about the moon, Sentinel Prime and the government… but no one’s seeing these films for the plot.

The effects are actually pretty amazing, and the 3D (deep breath) is well used and awesome. However, parts of the film are way too corny (and not tongue-in-cheek), and both the script and Huntington-Whiteley are absolute rubbish. Her and LaBeouf have as much chemistry as two cabbages rubbing together (less in fact), and since they’re supposed to be in love this is somewhat of an issue.

While there are some comic moments and great fight scenes, at 157 mins Transformers 3 just runs way too long – and for no good reason. That being said, there’re transforming robot aliens, explosions and a hot babe – I don’t think Bay is pretending that it’s meant to be anything else.

Super 8

I went into this film with high expectations, and luckily I ended up thoroughly enjoying my Super 8 experience.

 Out one night filming their amateur zombie flick, a group of youngsters catch some interesting footage on camera when a train unexpectedly crashes nearby. Strange occurrences start to plague their small town shortly after, and they soon escalate into full-blown mayhem – and the kids start to unravel a very extra-terrestrial mystery.

 There’s so much here to love – the adorably retro 1970s setting; the camaraderie of a group of adolescents struggling with emerging feelings; a government conspiracy complete with an interwoven moral message. Director J.J. Abrams goes a bit crazy with the lens flare, but he also crafts a sweet and entertaining film that probably won’t leave a lasting impression on most, but that some will truly love. The end gets a bit twee, but as far as conjuring up the feelings of youthful wonderment that old-school Spielberg used to, Abrams doesn’t do too badly.

 The performances of the young actors aren’t perfect, but there are some truly poignant moments between them, and their interactions are both amusing and genuine.

 Overall, while there’s nothing really groundbreaking here (and it’s so family-friendly it hurts), Super 8 is an atmospheric film that delivers exactly what it intends to. 

The Hangover: Part II

The Hangover: Part II makes no apologies for the fact that it wants to push the boundaries. It wants to shock and gross you out – and for every incredulous groan you utter, some studio exec somewhere gets his wings. And by ‘wings’ I mean ‘pile of money’.

This sequel to the wildly popular The Hangover has pretty much used that film’s fame as an excuse to use the exact same formula again. Oh sure, a few of the main things have been changed (the location for one thing, and there’s a monkey in this one), but overall this is pretty much the same script with a few words replaced.

In this instalment, the wolf pack head to Thailand for Stu’s wedding. Everything goes smoothly, and no one disappears or drugs anyone else.

Ha! What kind of comedy would that be? Of course there are roofies involved – as well as bar fights, drug dealers, unwanted tattoos, casual racism, and some surprising sexual revelations.

Is it worth seeing? Well, it’s a laugh, that’s for sure – although the general consensus is that it isn’t nearly as good as the first film. Some jokes are taken a bit too far, but overall the film is (for the most part) harmlessly offensive. Some will hate it, but personally I enjoyed it. Maybe that says something about me…

Insidious

Insidious is both creepy and utterly ridiculous. I won’t lie – I hid under the sleeve of my coat for the first half. However, I also exclaimed “What the hell?” and laughed out loud during much of the second half.

Josh (Patrick Wilson) and Renai (Rose Byrne) are devastated when their son, Dalton, falls into a medically mysterious coma. Imagine how they feel when they’re informed that the strange occurrences that have also started happening aren’t a result of their house being haunted, but of their son being haunted (or almost haunted, or the object of attempted hauntings, or whatever).

The tone starts off wonderfully – the opening sequence feels like horror films of yore, and the music is great. At this point, everything is still subtle and unexplained (albeit slightly Paranormal Activity 2ish). Then, director James Wan decides to cast aside any attempts at genuine suspense and creepiness in favour of obvious scares, ridiculous exposition and horror clichés.

Overall, there are some good scares, but also too many eye-roll moments to make it a good horror film. There are some great funny moments, but they feel tonally strange. Insidious must have done something right though – later that night I thought my fan was a wax figure with a shotgun, and I kept thinking I heard eerie whistling or women crying. So it gets an extra star for that.

Thor

I really enjoyed Thor. And not just for the rippling-abs factor – I personally preferred the hot manipulative brother, but let’s not get into that. Thor was just straight-up enjoyable, and that’s what you want in a superhero film, no?

I wasn’t expecting much, even though I love what Marvel Studios is doing with their superhero franchises (Linkage! End-credit scenes! THE AVENGERS!). Honestly, I thought it would be a bit naff – Thor (Chris Hemsworth), an arrogant and war-hungry king-to-be, gets himself banished from Asgard and lands on Earth, only to meet a human woman, Jane (Natalie Portman), and learn a whole lot of lessons about what it means to really be a hero. Derisive snort, right?

Wrong. Happily, Thor is surprisingly humorous, has a great vibe, and delivers an interesting storyline. While Portman hardly delivers her best work, the supporting characters are solid and Hemsworth is charismatic. The relationship between Thor and his brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) is particularly intriguing, and makes up for the cold fish ‘love story’ between Thor and Jane. I’ve seen more believable romantic storylines in car commercials, but luckily it doesn't drag the film down too much. Throw in some sneaky Iron Man refs and I’m pretty much in a frenzy of nerd-excitement.

Overall, Thor definitely has its flaws (Hemsworth screaming into the sky makes you laugh more than cry), but it’s a decent few hours of popcorn escapism that’s worth catching.

Paul

I’ll cut to the intergalactic shoot-out scene – Paul is enjoyable, fun and full of nerdy references. I couldn’t help but love it.

British nerds Graeme (Simon Pegg) and Clive (Nick Frost) plan to trek across the US, from one alien hotspot to the next. However, after they come across an actual alien, Paul (Seth Rogen), their plans go out the window and chaos ensues as they attempt to help him.

Written by Frost and Pegg, but directed by Greg Mottola (see: Superbad), Paul manages to merge Brit comedy and US humour to good effect. Rather than being a cringe-worthy mess, Paul is warm and entertaining, largely thanks to the genuine chemistry between the two leads. Also, while somewhat of an odd choice for the voice of Paul, Rogen is actually pretty funny (horror!). As for supporting characters, the usual suspects are all here (Jane Lynch, Jason Bateman, Bill Hader), and round out the familiar but pleasing cast.

The film manages to maintain a good balance – crude, but not irritatingly vulgar; nerdy, but not so that it alienates (pun intended) less-nerdy folk. The pace does start to lag around two-thirds of the way through, but everything comes together nicely in a corny but amusing conclusion.

Overall, Paul is just a darn good time. It’s a road trip film with shoot-outs, romance, aliens, fireworks, probe jokes and novelty t-shirts – what more do you want?

Just Go With It

Romantic comedies have been going steadily downhill for a long time – and this one is no exception. Let’s count the clichés, shall we?

1. Ridiculous, completely unfeasible, and borderline offensive plot: Danny (Adam Sandler) meets the girl of his dreams, Palmer – who of course just happens to be 23, blonde and leggy. However, he’s spent most of his adult dating life pretending to be married, in order to pick up women – so he has to explain his wedding ring by inventing a fictional ex-wife, Katherine (Jennifer Aniston).

2. Annoying characters: The sweet and completely undeveloped (character-wise, at least) Palmer has nothing to her except slow-motion hot-chick scenes and wide-eyed, naïve speeches about ‘bonding’. Sandler as Danny just parades around acting like a complete ass, which apparently is supposed to be attractive to women.

3. Tedious “comic relief” character: Eddie, Danny’s cousin, is meant to be funny. He has had a penis enlargement, and can speak in a kooky accent! In actuality, he just makes you want to start punching things.

4. A useless scene involving a sheep. A poo joke. A dance-off.

5. Makeover montage: Yep, we’re supposed to think that Katherine is “frumpy” and “unattractive”. I mean please ­­– she has a ponytail, and glasses.

In conclusion? Just Go With It has barely enough to be a decent popcorn film. I’d go and see it just to test out your bullshit tolerance level.

Limitless

I went into Limitless with such low expectations that even if it had consisted of an entertaining monkey dancing on the roof of a car, I would have been pleasantly surprised. Luckily (even though that wasn’t the plot of the film), I was still pleasantly surprised.

Eddie (Bradley Cooper) goes from disheveled failing writer to stock-market whiz and genius in a few short weeks – all thanks to a wonder drug that unlocks the parts of the brain that we humans don’t normally use. This means that Eddie is pretty much good at everything when he’s on the drug, and basically starts to kick ass. Of course, wonder drugs that turn you into the equivalent of a brainiac superheros are generally illegal – and some dire consequences unfold, with a bit of carnage here and there.

Cooper and his striking baby blues are surprisingly charismatic in the lead role. Some heavy-handed direction from Neil Burger does warrant an eye roll or two (someone should tell him he’s no David Fincher), but even that doesn’t drag down the film too much.

While the plot is riddled full of holes (murder subplots get left by the wayside! People don’t pay back loan sharks even though they’re rolling in cash! A stupid romantic storyline gets revived with no explanation at all!), there is still enough enjoyment here to make Limitless worth a watch. Get some popcorn, lower your expectations, and just generally go with it.

The Way Back

Nothing makes your problems seem trivial like watching a film where some ragtag escapees brave both blizzards and desert to trek 4000 miles to freedom – all the way from Siberia to India. Along the way they eat raw, torn-apart wolf carcass; slurp water from a dirty puddle; get eaten by tornadoes of mosquitoes; and, unsurprisingly, not all of them make it. Canberra’s not looking so bad anymore, is it?
The group (which includes Colin Farrell, Ed Harris, Jim Sturgess and later Saoirse Ronan) walk for months to escape the spread of Communism – through the Gobi Desert and across the Himalayas. It’s an epic journey, which also gives director Peter Weir some great opportunities for some excellent scenery shots, which are a strong point of the film. 
The Way Back shows what people are capable of enduring in the quest for freedom. Their determination is admirable, although Sturgess does get a little tedious towards the end. 
It did run a little long for my tastes, and much of the film does consist of walking, sleeping on the ground, lolling about in the throes of starvation and dehydration, and then more walking. That said, Weir does manage to maintain your interest despite this fact. 
I found The Way Back to be enjoyable enough. While it isn’t necessarily gripping or memorable, it’s still a fairly solid film. Even though it does make some hot men look ugly.

Hereafter

Here’s an idea – instead of seeing Hereafter, go and watch your neighbour mow the lawn. Or watch an ant drag a crumb to its nest. Or... well, you get the picture.

Hereafter is dull and pointless. The script is terrible – drawn out, full of clichés (“It’s not a gift, it’s a curse!”), and frustratingly stupid. The ending is contrived, and overall I was left bewildered.

There are three storylines in the film – Marie Lelay, who has just had a near-death experience; George Lonegan (Matt Damon), a psychic whose “gift” is just too much of a burden; and the young Marcus, who has suffered a terrible loss. We’re supposed to connect with these characters, and ponder deep thoughts about life itself and the afterlife. Sadly, the film just makes you wonder what the hell Clint Eastwood thought he was doing with this film, what’s up with Bryce Dallas Howard’s hair, and how many scenes of Damon eating by himself does Eastwood think we need to make us understand that he’s lonely.

About halfway through, I’d well and truly given up any hope of dramatic tension or an effective climax, and just wanted the credits to roll.

For a film that’s meant to be deep and meaningful, Hereafter doesn’t actually inspire you to think about the big issues at all. Utterly forgettable, only bother with this film if you’re sick of doing worthwhile things with your time.

The Next Three Days

If I wanted to watch Russell Crowe brood and act like a tool for over two hours… well, let’s be honest, I’d never want to watch that. So why the hell did I see The Next Three Days?!

Crowe plays John Brennan, whose wife Lara (Elizabeth Banks) has been imprisoned for murder. For reasons that are never fully expressed or explored, John decides to break Lara out. Exciting, right? Well, it’s intermittently interesting, but mostly just dull.

I couldn’t have cared less about whether she actually did it, nor whether they would successfully escape. Also, Crowe can’t carry the film by himself, so it just drags on to its conclusion, trudging through a mess of subplots (one of which includes Olivia Wilde, the only good thing in the film). The actual breakout is moderately exciting, but the fact that I didn’t give a hoot about any of the characters meant that I was left cold and vaguely irritated by the end.

The Next Three Days just fell short for me. Director Paul Haggis doesn’t get us to an emotional connection, but he also doesn’t deliver quite enough guilty-pleasure, balls-out action or even dramatic tension to make up for the film being so shallow. The last half hour is the only exciting part, and that’s after Crowe has blundered around for two hours looking vaguely desperate.

Overall, the biggest waste of time since I saw My Super
Ex-Girlfriend.

MEGAN McKEOUGH

The Green Hornet

I was so desperate for The Green Hornet to be a clever, exciting rollercoaster ride of laughs and action. It’s not. There are laughs, yes – comedic moments occasionally poke their heads out of the pile of useless rubbish that is the rest of the film. But overall, The Green Hornet is just ridiculous and annoying.

Britt Reid (Seth Rogen) is a lazy, selfish rich boy who decides to become a vigilante hero after the death of his media magnate father. Add a genius sidekick, Kato (Jay Chou) – who actually provides the ass-kicking skills – and too much money and time, and the Green Hornet is born.

The plot is uninspired, uneven and forced towards the end. The bromance that’s meant to be apparent between Kato and Britt is pretty non-existent, largely because Rogen just irritatingly quips into Chou’s deadpan face for most of the film. Britt is so essentially unlikeable that I found it painful to even attempt to be interested.

I blame lead actor, co-writer and executive producer Rogen for the dismal state of this farce – although director Michel Gondry should take some blame too, I suppose.

Yes, I’m being harsh. There’s enough in The Green Hornet to enjoy, if you want it bad enough. But for me, I learned that it is possible to be irritated, bored and disappointed at the same time.

MEGAN McKEOUGH

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

Torture, discrimination, nudity, paranoia… this sure isn’t Hogwarts anymore, Toto. Oh wait… Hogwarts has always been messed up.

Part one of an epic two-part finale, Hallows sees our trio all grown up, out on their own, and in for the fight of their lives. The world (both wizarding and muggle) has been in chaos since Voldemort’s return, and Harry, Ron and Hermione set off to find the remaining Horcruxes in order to defeat him – inadvertently learning about the Deathly Hallows along the way.

If that sentence means nothing to you, don’t bother seeing Deathly Hallows. You probably need to know at least 75 per cent of Harry Potter lore to understand and appreciate the full gravity of events. Still, Deathly Hallows is an exceptional film – moody, dark, intense and poignant. There are some wonderful moments between our heroes, and Harry and Hermione share a particularly special moment in a tent with some Nick Cave.

Purists will have some problems with the changes made to the story, and it’s true that some parts drag just a little. A beautiful short animation is a wonderful addition though, and the acting standard is high, with Emma Watson contributing a stand-out performance.

This was never going to be my favourite film, as some of my favourite things are missing or in short supply – Hogwarts; fabulous supporting characters; joy of almost any kind. But Deathly Hallows isn’t afraid to explore the darker issues, and watching it you do kind of realise that Harry Potter really is about so much more than just a boy wizard. 

Paranormal Activity 2

If there’s anything that we learned from the surprising success of The Blair Witch Project, it’s that films made up of ‘real’ footage tend to truly intrigue the masses. After the first instalment of Paranormal Activity, which depicted the horrific haunting of a young couple, proved to be quite the hit, it made more than good sense for Hollywood to serve up a sequel.

The premise is simple ­­– after a break-in, a family installs a system of security cameras that record around the clock (though why anyone would actually do this is beyond me). This footage forms the bulk of the film, as well as some handycam footage. Of course, the cameras end up catching more than just everyday life – you could say that they record some truly paranormal activity.

Paranormal Activity 2 can actually be pretty creepy at times, if you’re willing to get into the spirit of things (pun intended). The film does get a bit too ‘Blair Witch’ towards the end (shaky night-vision camerawork, lots of banging and running around), and frankly goes from being delightfully subtle (read: occasionally dull) to pretty damn obvious.

Overall, while there’s nothing too groundbreaking here, Paranormal Activity 2 is fun enough. Also, the story is cleverly tied in to the first film, which at least makes it feel like more than just a ploy to get more money out of a successful idea. Best viewed with popcorn, friends, and maybe some sort of alcoholic beverage.

Let Me In

When I first heard that they were going to do an American remake of the haunting Swedish film Let The Right One In, I was horrified. I ranted for days, throwing around terms like “dumbed-down fodder,” “money-grubbing hacks” and “shameless pillaging of art to satisfy a moronic need to suck money out of the ignorant masses.”

…Perhaps I was overreacting. Let Me In is actually a great film – engaging and interesting, and carried by some spectacular performances. The film follows the growing friendship between a young boy, Owen (Kodi Smit-McPhee), and a young girl, Abby (Chloe Moretz). He’s awkward and bullied at school; she’s mysterious and sad. Also, she could tear your neck to shreds, because she’s a vampire.

Like the original, Let Me In is dark and moody, and retains most of the semi-controversial material (minus an ambiguous crotch shot or two). However, much of the original’s subtlety is gone, and thus a lot of the poignancy. Some shots in Let The Right One In are so beautiful that you completely look past the fact that it’s some gory scene involving blood and carnage. Let Me In doesn’t really have this quality, and in the end it feels more like a horror story than anything else ­– whereas Let The Right One In felt like it was about so much more.

I shouldn’t spend my whole review doing some faux-intellectual compare and contrast. Let Me In is an excellent film ­– edgy, wistfully bleak, interesting, well shot and very atmospheric. Unfortunately, in the shadow of Let The Right One In, it’s never going to feel quite right.

Buried

I’ll give it to you straight - ­Buried consists of one and a half hours of Ryan Reynolds (as contractor Paul Conroy) held hostage inside a wooden coffin, buried somewhere in the Iraq desert. If his ransom isn’t paid, he’ll be left there to die - unless someone can find him. No other actors appear onscreen, there are no other locations, and the screen is lit by whatever light Conroy can find – a lighter, a torch, a glow stick. His only real hope is the mobile phone also inside the coffin, and the battery life on that is gradually ebbing away.

Needless to say, Buried is not your run-of-the-mill psychological thriller, and it could have easily been a total disaster. However, director Rodrigo Cortes does a great job of drawing the audience in, especially considering the limitations and difficulties of the film’s premise. Even though parts here and there do feel as though they’re being played for extra drama and excitement, Conroy’s ordeal seems all too real and pretty damn terrifying.

As for Reynolds, he shows that he’s more than just Van Wilder – he plays Conroy’s panic and desperation with real emotion, and when the film really finds its pace, it is truly tense and unnerving.

Buried is much more serious and political than what many will expect - but overall it is an effective film by a director who clearly appreciates that you don’t always need CGI effects and sweeping locations to make a film. Buried is a true statement to what cinema can do, and while it’s far from flawless, it will get you thinking.

Piranha 3D

Piranha 3D is full of gory delights, as well as plenty of groan-worthy imagery. I’ll be straight with you – it’s horrifically disgusting. However, it’s so disgusting and ridiculous that it’s actually shamefully entertaining and totally hilarious.

It’s spring break, and Lake Victoria has been overtaken by bikinied party people, internet porn directors, and pre-historic piranhas with a taste for human flesh. Dozen by dozen, oblivious folk are picked off in some truly repulsive (albeit creative) ways, as these frenzied, bloodthirsty little suckers chow down on a feast of tanned college kids. Of course, it’s up to Sheriff Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue) and her dull-as-cardboard son, what’s-his-name, to save the day – with some help from an overacting (but still delightful) Christopher Lloyd.

There are some great underwater scenes (and some pretty gratuitous ones too…), and more entrails and half-eaten torsos than you could poke a gnawed shinbone at. Overall, the film is action-packed and exciting, and manages to include boobs in almost every scene. Piranha avoids being a waste of time because director Alexandre Aja handles the deaths and action with a tongue-in-cheek relish, and the film refuses to take anything too seriously – except carnage, that is.

Piranha is not for the weak of stomach, but if you’re willing to put your cinematic pretensions aside for a night, it’s a hell of a time. Boobs, blood and piranhas – that’s all there is to it, really.

Sex and the City 2

I loved Sex and the City – but this is not the show that I enjoyed back in the day. This is like National Lampoon’s Sexy Middle Eastern Vacation – way too much farce, totally ridiculous scenarios, and everything in it feels vaguely offensive and far too obvious.

Everyone knows these four by now ­– Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), Samantha (Kim Cattrall) and Charlotte (Kristin Davis). They swan around New York and talk sex, cosmos, life and love. Or at least, they used to.

There is so much blinding showiness in Sex and the City 2 that it’s hard to look past it to the issues that we’re supposed to be deeply pondering – marriage and commitment and such. Everything is so over the top and gimmicky (Liza singing Beyonce anyone?) that any real and touching moments are buried under a giant dumping of fake diamonds and Abu Dhabi sand. Pretty much the whole film feels forced – the laughter feels fake, the fashion isn’t so much fabulous as crack-induced and obvious, and to be frank I just wanted to bitch slap Carrie (who at one point sports a truly Maleficent headdress).

In addition, someone should really tell director/writer/producer Michael Patrick King that “humour” does not mean “turn every single word into a thoroughly lame pun.” Also, slow-motion breast and crotch close-ups quite blatantly scream “desperate gratuity,” and are very tiresome.

Overall, the sexiness was lacking, and so was the enjoyment. And hell, that’s coming from someone that liked He’s Just Not That Into You.

1 ½ out of 5

Julie and Julia

Julie and Julia is a pleasant, entertaining film - sugary sweet, but perfectly watchable. The film consists of dual storylines - a technique that often leads to a confusing and frustrating mess, but Julie and Julia manages to pull it off quite nicely. One storyline follows Julia Child (Meryl Streep) as she learns French cooking in Paris and pens her famous cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking. The other follows Julie (Amy Adams), a writer who sets out to cook all of Julia Child's recipes (over 500 in all) in the course of a year, and to document it on a blog - a project which she hopes will infuse some meaning and spirit into her life.

All of the characters are portrayed well, but Streep is particularly brilliant as Child. Her charismatic performance completely supports the film and ensures that Julie and Julia is neither boring nor annoyingly saccharine - which it easily could have been with a different cast.

While Julie and Julia won't exactly propel you to an emotional or intellectual epiphany, it is fun and quite easy to warm to. Overall, this film knows exactly what it's doing and does it well; providing great performances, a strong storyline and a somewhat corny but sufficiently heart-warming conclusion. It's chick-flick-by-numbers - but it works, so who's to complain?

Fame

Ten reasons not to see Fame:

1. The lack of plot. A bunch of teenagers attend a respected performing arts high school. Some dance. Some sing, or do other stuff. That's actually the whole plot.
2. The sheer number of characters - quantity ain't always quality. I realised about two thirds of the way through that I had no idea what any of their names were. I still don't know what some of their names are.
3. Character development - or rather, the large gaping holes where character development should be. Shouldn't there be some development, especially in a film that is supposed to be a 'coming of age' story? Each character is shallower than the last, and none have any real back story...or current story.
4. The style. Fame feels like one long montage, but one with zero emotional depth.
5. The timeline. The film is divided into each year of high school, and crams four years into two hours - so you never know how much time has passed between each scene. Has it been two months? Two days? Luckily, you soon stop caring.
6. The dance sequences. They're good. Really good. Unfortunately, this makes everything else look even more pointless in comparison.
7. Corny monologues and exchanges that actually make you cringe.
8. The lack of an amazing end performance.
9. The fact that the end credit sequence is more fun and entertaining than most of the film.
10. Do you really need another?

Funny People

Funny People is definitely Judd Apatow's most 'indie' film to date, with its dull and grainy cinematography, wistful close-ups and Wilco references. It's clearly an extremely personal project, and tackles a more serious subject matter than his past offerings.

The trailer promotes Funny People as being a lot more upbeat than it is - and, I hate to say it, a bit better than it is. George Simmons (Adam Sandler, potentially as himself) is a famous comedian who now makes schmaltzy family films, bangs women, and will never admit to being lonely and a complete prick. Oh, and he also happens to be dying. Ira Wright (Seth Rogen: a new, slimmer version) ends up befriending Simmons, and the two embark on the rockiest of bromances.

Tonally, the film is weird. You're not sure whose side you're on, who you like or who you hate - and low-brow comedy exchanges follow semi-awkward scenes that ooze sentimentality. Funny People is patchy at best, and seems confused as to what it wants to be - although, running at over two hours, it's definitely too long. Highlights include Ira's roommates (Jason Schwartzman, Jonah Hill) while low points include Sandler's irritating accents.

That being said, some of the jokes are funny and clever (although there are plenty that aren't) and Apatow does show his appreciation for comedians and comedy, as seen by the many cameos - from Paul Reiser to Sarah Silverman.

All in all, Funny People is hit and miss. Don't expect a laugh a minute, but it's not entirely bad viewing.

The Young Victoria

Good, compelling costume dramas are few and far between. Unfortunately, The Young Victoria, while adequate in many ways, is not one of the great few.

The Young Victoria follows the life of the feisty Queen Victoria (Emily Blunt), from her days as a princess to the early years of her reign as a young queen. There is romance, of course, with the beautiful and slightly bumbling Prince Albert (Rupert Friend), though it's not without a few hurdles along the way.

Unfortunately, The Young Victoria falls short of being outstanding or particularly engaging. It really wants to showcase Victoria as a headstrong young woman determined to be a great ruler - but unfortunately, while Blunt does have the occasional shining moment, she is largely under-whelming in the role.

The film is also oddly constructed, and some sections feel far too rushed and all over the place, while others drag on. The disjointed pacing isn't helped by some very bizarre filmic devices, weird shot choices and a corny use of dissolves. That being said, the style and look of the film is wonderful and rich, as are the costumes.

Harsh, perhaps, but this film just seemed far too tame to me. Everything is utterly PG-rated, and there's very little rousing conflict or drama - at least, none that isn't tied up in a neat bow by the film's end. It's all just a little too pretty, inoffensive and unassuming to incite any real passion in a viewer. It's not a bad film, by any means - but I probably wouldn't have seen it if Friend wasn't such a dish.

Public Enemies

Ah, such high hopes. Johnny Depp. Christian Bale. A gorgeous, vaguely sepia-toned 1930s setting. Perfection, no?

Unfortunately, Public Enemies didn't really satisfy or engage me. While it is not exactly a wasted couple of hours, it does fall short of expectations.

Notorious criminal John Dillinger (Johnny Depp) spent years robbing banks and out-smarting the authorities. As we follow Dillinger's escapades, determined federal agent Melvin Purvis (Christian Bale) hunts the elusive Dillinger and his cronies. Cue multiple shootouts.

While Public Enemies is an interesting enough film, it felt slightly too long, and the story meanders around in the middle. Also, the Depp vs. Bale scenes didn't zing as much as I had hoped, although Bale's tight-lipped Purvis still delights me (unreasonably, I'm sure - his character is pretty flimsy).

That being said, there are some interesting scenes. Director Michael Mann uses realistic, handheld camerawork for some effective shooting scenes, creating a gritty and authentic atmosphere. Unfortunately, he ruins all the good he's done by not knowing when to ease up, and most of the film feels somewhat akin to being stuck in a blender full of machine guns. Luckily, the design of the film is pleasing - the sets and costumes wonderfully capture the era, even when occasionally lost in blurry camera jerks.

All in all, the disappointing Public Enemies should have been so much better. A more solid exploration of the Dillinger story and less crazy camerawork would have gone a long way.

My Sister’s Keeper

My Sister’s Keeper makes no apologies for the fact that it wants to make you cry. Based on the novel by Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper is a harrowing portrait of a family struggling to deal with terminal illness.

Anna (Abigail Breslin) was conceived expressly to be a donor for her sick older sister Kate – but after years of transfusions and procedures, is suing her parents (Cameron Diaz and Jason Patric) for the rights to her own body.

The film’s many perspectives cover a multitude of issues – and parts of the film are quite affecting and realistic. But sadly, for every wonderfully subtle and poignant moment, there are two overdone scenes of shameless tear-jerking.

Even though My Sister’s Keeper has a solid script that could have been beautifully executed, director Nick Cassavetes constructs the film with very little originality, and ends up detracting from the power of the story by trying too hard to drag out the sentimentality of it all. Odd tonal moments (such as a tense family argument followed immediately by a scene of family bonding) and an overuse of fade outs (which signify a time leap) make this an inconsistent film. An abuse of slow motion (no, it’s not relevant for every scene) also adds to the feeling that Cassavetes is just trying a bit too hard.

However, a strong story and brilliant acting make My Sister’s Keeper decent viewing, despite its heavy-handed direction.

2 ½ stars

Woodstock

Hell (man), it must have been some festival. We’re still talking WOODSTOCK 40 years on. I’m even helping to organise a Woodstock tribute gig, with local musos who definitely weren’t around in 1969, and they’re all so damn keen. There’s a lotta love for the big fest.

I feel like Mickey Rooney in those old black and white films, “I know, let’s throw a party in the barn!” (And the party happened, without pages of lists and deadlines and phone calls to bands.) “I know, shit, it’s Woodstock’s 40th anniversary, let’s organise a gig!” says I…

Woodstock. Three days of peace, rain, mud, not enough food or toilets; oh yeah, plus some of the best music and musicians of the ‘60s. (I did say some of!) Typecast as a folk fest, Woodstock was actually eclectic (I mean, The Who and Sha Na Na?!) and electric – yes, Baez and Arlo Guthrie were there but so were The Band, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix…

Lovable locals The Wedded Bliss are on board for the birthday bash. Can’t wait to see them do their, umm, own interpretation of Creedence Clearwater Revival.

I didn’t have a clue who Paul Butterfield was until award winning young guitarist Chris Harland (The Chris Harland Blues Band) set me straight. Chris not only knew who Paul was, but he knew all his Woodstock songs. Well, Chris’ drummer has supported Dylan (the real one, not the tribute one). And watch out for Chris in Hendrix mode.

Then there’s my Janis Joplin, Victoria McGee, throwing her line dancing boots to the wind to unleash her inner rock chick. Oops, I think I’ve corrupted her musical taste. First she rang me saying, well, not very complimentary things about the dearly departed’s voice, but then, in that universal Janis-epiphany-moment, she called back later saying “ah yeah, now I get it…”

There’ll be local musos galore – Bob Rodgers, The Lenders and surprise guests (that’s what you say when you’re still trying to track down musos who don’t check their messages). It may not solve all the problems in the world but it’s gonna be a lot of fun.

By the time you read this I may still be looking for a Joan Baez. She was pregnant at Woodstock. You don’t need to be, we’re not going for 100% authenticity. Hell, let’s have a male Baez! If you can do a few Baez songs... STOP PRESS – Julia (from Julia and the Deep Sea Sirens) will be Baez-ing to open the gig!

“It’s all coming together,” I sigh. I can almost see Mickey Rooney transported from 1930s grainy black and white dancing ‘round naked in 1960s mud and rain going “let’s put on a gig, let’s put on a gig…”

Wish me luck. Or better still, drop in to our Woodstock gig and let your hair down with your god damned talented local musos.

Peace & music, man.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Yes, it's that time once more - time to whip out your wands and hop aboard the Hogwart's Express for another fantastical adventure with Harry and the gang.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, based on the sixth book in the beloved series, is full of humour, hormones, horror and heartache. There's teen romance, tears, and plenty of wacky wizardry. Each film gets darker as we head towards the final battle, and this instalment is much more mature in tone - saucy innuendo, flirty glances, and a few dark scenes that are sure to haunt a kiddie or two.

Harry (Daniel Radcliffe), Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson) spend much of the film sorting through the confusion of their tumultuous love lives, while rising factions of Death Eaters wreak havoc over the globe and mysterious events unfold at Hogwarts. The acting from all three leads has thankfully improved, and Half-Blood Prince is generously littered with wonderful comedic moments. The final scenes are likely to induce some tears though, and the ending leaves one hopelessly yearning for the final films.

Unlike the other Harry Potter films, Half-Blood Prince will probably be too confusing for anyone unfamiliar with the world of witches and wizards - it is less a stand-alone film and more an elaboration on characters and events, and a continuation of the big, epic battle between good and evil.

All in all, I loved this. The light moments are sassy and sweet, the dark moments ominous and heartbreaking. Simply Harry Potter perfection.

Disgrace

One thing I have learned in my years as an avid film-goer is that good storytelling doesn’t necessarily mean enjoyable viewing. Yes, some films are exceptionally well-made and entertaining to watch – but others, though they are well-written and well-executed, are more harrowing than entertaining.
Disgrace is one such film. Based on the novel by J.M. Coetzee, the film tells the tale of a morally questionable professor (John Malkovich) living in South Africa; and follows his life first at the University of Cape Town and later in Eastern Cape with his daughter. Tragic events ensue, and the film focuses on both the consequences of these events and the relationships between the characters involved.
While this is hardly a happy film, it is well-written and socially relevant in a few interesting ways. The atmosphere of Disgrace is exceptional – each scene is saturated in the sense of ‘being in another place’ – namely, South Africa. Many of the themes of Disgrace have multiple interpretations, and if anything, the film is certainly thought-provoking.
Disgrace is good – and part of its power lies in how affecting and realistic it is. But it is also quite upsetting in parts, and for me, was far from enjoyable. I appreciated certain aspects of the film while disagreeing with others, and the storytelling overcomes the fact that none of characters are particularly likeable or relatable. Disgrace is worth seeing, but steel yourself beforehand.
3 stars.

State Of Play

Based on the BBC series of the same name, State of Play is a solid investigative journalism film - full of scandal, politics and plenty of hitting the pavement. There's nothing wildly original in terms of story, but the film is solid and enjoyable and boasts some great performances.

Cal (Russell Crowe) is a cynical, hard-nosed Washington Globe journo, who (reluctantly) takes keen rookie reporter Della (Rachel McAdams) under his wing to help him investigate and report on two suspicious deaths that initially seem unrelated. Cue surprises, cover-ups and confrontations galore.

State of Play boasts an impressive cast, although the performances vary. Helen Mirren is fantastic as the editor of the paper - exasperated and sardonic at every turn - while Ben Affleck is passable but not remarkable as a Congressman with a secret. In their quest to uncover the conspiracy, McAdams and Crowe actually work quite well with each other, as she softens and complements his gruff, ambitious exterior. They're not quite one of the great journalistic teams, but there's definitely chemistry. The pair skulk around Washington D.C, doing the work of police detectives, solving crimes while almost breaking the law themselves - all in the pursuit of the story. The pace of the film matches the urgent energy brought on by pending deadlines and the bustling newsroom, and all in all State of Play feels like it could be a realistic portrayal of political journalism.

State of Play is an exciting and interesting few hours, perhaps not entirely memorable, but in no way a waste of time.

Star Trek

Sometimes, Hollywood attempts to take something previously delegated to nerd-dom and give it a sexy makeover. Usually, the result is an arrogant and horrible film. but J.J. Abrams, of Lost fame, has successfully revamped the original 1960s Star Trek series. The USS Enterprise is now hip, slick and sassy, and fresh-faced talents step into roles that made actors into legends. James T. Kirk (Chris Pine), a cocky genius no-hoper, enlists as a cadet in Starfleet, where he meets a variety of familiar characters. Naturally, when you’re boldly going places where no man has gone before, dangerous adventure ensues – life-threatening missions, wild space-jumping, black holes, sexual tension...all at warp speed. Star Trek generally pleases avid fans that usually scoff at Hollywood’s efforts to sell nerdiness to the masses, but also appeals to and entertains those who don’t know Star Trek from Star Wars. Why? Well, the young, attractive cast helps. Snappy dialogue, true-to-the-original set and zippy special effects also assist in propelling this USS Enterprise along the path to cinema awesomeness. Star Trek manages to be neither a haphazard fan vid of high brow in-jokes, nor a dumbed-down, over-sexed bastardisation of the much-loved Star Trek ‘verse.There are many clever moments and the premise sets the scene nicely for an entirely new set of future storylines, separate from the series. Basically, Star Trek is fabulously entertaining, wonderfully clever and terribly fun. See it. Twice.

Let The Right One In

Very rarely does a film manage to horrify, move, amaze and disturb you – all during one five-minute scene. But Sweden’s Let the Right One In is one such film – poignant, sometimes terribly violent, and full of some
beautifully sad moments.

Young Oskar (Kåre Hedebrant) is a solitary young boy, bullied at school and just a little bit odd. When he meets the soulful and elusive Eli (Lina Leandersson) in a playground one night, the two soon form what would usually be an innocent and sweet friendship – except that in this case, ‘twelve-year-old’ Eli is actually a
vampire (and not the brooding, ‘vegetarian’ kind). She kills unapologetically and calculatingly – but is not without her fair share of inner turmoil. Oddly enough, the relationship between Eli and Oskar, while often perplexing, still manages to be sweet in its own way.

Let the Right One In takes you out of your own world and transports you right into Oskar’s. The cinematography is magnificent – sometimes striking, sometimes bleak, but always using the snowy landscapes to their best advantage. The visuals of Let the Right One In wonderfully accentuate this unconventional story of ‘childhood friendship’.

Sometimes (quite often, in fact) you’re not entirely sure what’s going on -what the characters are thinking, where the film is going or what it’s alluding to. This is part of what makes it memorable – the questions you’re left asking and the theories you begin forming. There is a lot of ambiguity to this story.

Let the Right One In is a unique and sometimes confronting film. When combined with flawless atmosphere and clever direction, the result is a film that will resonate with you for days – one that is as confusing as it is
intelligent, as beautiful as it is horrific, and as sad as it is triumphant.

Bride Wars

‘Lame Romantic Comedy’ checklist:
Two leading ladies, BFFs but polar opposites? Check. Typical New York setting? Check. Candice Bergen in a supporting role? Check. Lessons learned, love found, corny happy ending that probably took as much imagination to conjure up as it takes to grate cheese? Check. The result? Bride Wars.
Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Anna Hathaway) are two brides-to-be who both want their perfect wedding to be at the Plaza Hotel. When a mix-up means that only one of them can live the dream, a catfight of epic proportions ensues.

As Liv and Emma proceed to play lame and unimaginative tricks on each other in the days leading up to their weddings, their dull-as-dirt fiancées stand by and provide dumbed-down running commentaries for all the idiots watching at home, practically creating a personality-less vortex. These two get lumped with most of the stupid filler dialogue – whatever isn’t already allocated to Liv and Emma’s shallow and stereotypical circle of girlfriends, that is.

Director Gary Winick could perhaps be forgiven for making the supporting characters utterly cardboard, but Liv and Emma themselves have very little depth. These two are barely a wading pool’s worth of emotional complexity. We get it - Emma is a people-pleaser and Liv a control freak. But please, continue to ram this point down our throats for the duration of the film, before applying some ‘convenient ending’ sticky tape and slapping an obvious bid for a sequel onto the end. Essentially, this is 90 minutes of two well-groomed monkeys fighting over a banana.

Look, it’s not that bad. Don’t misinterpret me – Bride Wars is utter rubbish. But it’s not pretending to be anything else. It’s clichéd and completely unoriginal, existing in a special rom-com land where laughable caricatures float around in a sea of poor exposition. But come on. Being surprised that this film is bad is like being surprised that an egg breaks when you throw it at the wall.

1 out of 5

The Wrestler

When people asked me what I thought about The Wrestler, my response for days after was “…I really don’t know.”
The Wrestler follows beaten-down pro-wrestler Randy ‘The Ram’ Robinson (Mickey Rourke) through the later years of his glory. We see him struggle with his health, loneliness and his relationship - or complete lack thereof - with his estranged daughter (Evan Rachel Wood).

Rourke is, indeed, brilliant in the wrestler. Randy isn’t necessarily likable, he’s pitiable if anything, but as the film progresses he gradually earns respect as you begin to understand him and recognise his love of wrestling. Marisa Tomei plays a stripper Randy fancies, but again she manages to avoid being too much of an empty stereotype and really delivers.

The direction is exceptional and Darren Aronofsky (see: Requiem for a Dream) makes poignant moments out of Randy’s first day at a new job and the atmosphere backstage before the wrestling matches. The rapport between the pro-wrestlers is notable and there are some fantastic exchanges as they discuss what they have planned for the evening’s ‘entertainment’.

That is where my problem with this film lies. The wrestling scenes are graphic and very realistic. As Randy
and his opponent go for gold, pounding each other’s faces and effectively glassing/stabbing/mauling each other, you can’t help but feel queasy and disturbed. Yes, these scenes serve a purpose - whether the initial set-up is fake or not, these men are clearly taking some serious hits. But I still cow-ered in my seat, feeling ill, and several people left the cinema.

The Wrestler is an excellent film - perhaps too good. It reeks of realism and emotion, and the close-ups of Rourke’s craggly but expressive face prove powerful. This film is not escapism, nor by any means easy entertainment, which is perhaps why some people may dislike it. I myself left feeling depressed and too unsettled to have enjoyed watching it at all. But the film stuck in my mind and I realised that The Wrestler is oddly compelling and maybe too much like life, but I could never watch it again.

American Teen

American Teen is an interesting look at a town I’d never want to live in. Warsaw, Indiana, is home to largely white, largely religious folk who vote red and stick to the more conservative side of things. This documentary follows four (arguably five) teenagers from the town during their senior year – bitchy queen bee Megan Krizmanich, basketball star Colin Clemens, arty and alternative oddity Hannah Bailey, socially inept nerd Jake Tusing, dreamy douchebag Mitch Reinholdt and their many friends and love interests.

Nanette Burstein’s camera follows Jake as he desperately seeks a girlfriend, Megan as she attempts to keep her status as teen queen and Hannah as she struggles with her own inner conflict. At the same time, each tries to secure their future plans and survive their last year of high school hell.

This is kind of like The Breakfast Club, but with fewer insightful revelations and that extra tinge of ‘reality’ that makes it both more and less interesting. While they are all entertaining enough to watch, Burstein never really lets any of them escape their labels, except for a few brief glimpses here and there. It’s hard to like many of them, and even harder to fully understand them or grasp what is going on beneath their stereotypes of ‘nerd’, ‘jock’, ‘rebel’ and ‘princess’. Unfortunately, as a result, American Teen is neither edgy nor probing enough, and while Burstein gets quite a free reign over their lives,

it all feels a little unfinished and unsatisfying. I couldn’t help but question its authenticity – one wonders how much of this fairy floss depiction has been restaged, and how much is actually in the moment. Nonetheless, this is a thoroughly enthralling look at the private lives of teens from Midwestern USA – parental pressures, stuffed deer heads, teen angst, marching bands and basketball games. While it doesn’t quite deliver an emotional punch, it’s pretty good reality entertainment.

3 out of 5

The Wackness

Many people may dismiss The Wackness as another wanky, self-indulgent indie ‘coming of age’ story, with dialogue littered with false wisdom and all the colours toned down to be intolerably dreary. That would be a mistake, as The Wackness is an original, moving and surprisingly uplifting film that takes the teenage experience and depicts it in an interesting and unique setting.

It’s New York, 1994, hip-hop is on the rise and misfit teenager Luke (Josh Peck) sells pot on the side while pining for the stepdaughter (Olivia Thirlby) of his troubled and immature psychologist/customer, Dr Squires (Ben Kingsley). As Luke wanders the streets of New York unsure of when and where he will fit in, he jumps through all the usual ‘coming of age’ hoops, until the film’s conclusion where he emerges, inevitably, all the wiser.

It’s true that there are all the typical elements – outcast falls for the pretty rebel, ‘father’ figure turns out to be not-so-together, and ultimately teen angst transforms into lessons learned and experiences logged. Luckily, there is so much more to The Wackness, and it lacks most of the usual clichés while maintaining a largely individual feel. The acting from the leads is outstanding, and Kingsley and Peck have a wonderful chemistry. The plot is well executed and well paced, and director Jonathan Levine infuses a personal feel into the film that makes it an intimate experience that engages you right to the end.

Well-formed characters and amusingly earnest dialogue round out this film into a refreshing few hours. Though not without its flaws, The Wackness is definitely worth a watch.

4 out of 5

Max Payne

Max Payne is a hideously bad film – barely entertaining and a complete shambles of character and plot. Case closed. Any questions? It’s based on the video game, right? Correct – but unfortunately director John Moore has made a very poor adaptation. He puts very little of the positives of the video game to good use, instead pumping loads of money into buying stupid looking fire special effects so he can imitate a Nutrigrain commercial. What about the plot? It is basically a lame collection of parts of the video game that looked cool with other bits that are necessary to flesh out some sort of dimwit storyline. In a nutshell, Payne’s wife was murdered, and now there’s a whole bunch of new grisly murders that could be connected to her death. Payne (Mark Wahlberg), hardened and unforgiving cop that he is, must find out what happened. There’s also a Russian broad (Mila Kunis) who wants to help (kind of), and they unravel clues about tattoos and pharmaceuticals until they find out who’s responsible – capping a whole lot of fools along the way. The ending is frustrating, and makes about as much sense as freezing a cheese grater then throwing it at a monkey.

So laughable plot aside, surely there’s some good shooting sequences, cool effects or gratuitous nudity/sex scenes? The shooting bits are moderately interesting, but sadly no attempt to win over the audience with sex or nudity. Yes, those angel-winged demon things are kind of cool but the explanation for their presence in the film is so head-smackingly inept that it overrules the initial coolness factor. Character development? Ha. HA. Good points?! Well, the cinematography is quite beautiful in some scenes, but never quite shines as it is overpowered by the half-assed acting and terrible story. Overall, Max Payne is a poor excuse for a video game adaptation, an action film, and entertainment in general.

1 out of 5

Brideshead Revisited

Yes, this film is very pretty – it looks beautiful and epic and all that jazz, but at its core Brideshead Revisited is a lacklustre affair. This adaptation of the novel by Evelyn Waugh is pretty slick, and the trailer makes it look positively scandalous and wonderful, but let’s be honest – I fell asleep. Twice. Brideshead tells the story of Charles Ryder (Matthew Goode), who is welcomed into the home, Brideshead, of the affluent Flyte family – the flamboyant son Sebastian (Ben Whishaw), aloof daughter Julia (Hayley Atwell) and strongly religious mother (Emma Thompson) – all of whom have issues galore.

What follows is a tale of sexuality, religion, obsession and betrayal – and how none of them can escape Brideshead, what it stands for, and what they experienced there. While the early scenes are a delightful prance through the fields of Brideshead and Oxford, the tone quickly takes a nosedive and pretty much everyone (SPOILER ALERT) ends up royally screwed over. Yes I know, it sounds like it could be interesting, doesn’t it? The frustrating thing is, it should be. There’s just something missing that director Julian Jarrold couldn’t translate into film – though I largely blame the casting.

The acting here is wooden at best, forced at worst. Sebastian (Whishaw) is one of the only characters with any life, and as for Atwell and Goode, well I’ll be damned if anyone thinks these two are even slightly into each other. Emma Thompson and Michael Gambon’s acting skill only further highlight the vacant stares of the young leads. Some films get away with epic length, plodding pace, languid storytelling and dense themes. Hell, some manage to make these things poignant and affecting. Sadly, the close of Brideshead left me feeling empty, since I cared very little for any of the characters. Brideshead, I think just the one visit this time will do, thanks. (Terrible, I know. Shame on me).

2 1/2 out of 5

The Duchess

The Duchess is your typical period piece – slightly depressing story, feisty heroine that wins over the hearts of the public despite suffering a devastating private life, surly male figure who is short and unpleasant to our heroine, idealistic young man ready to show our heroine what love really is. And of course, plenty of decadence, frills, feathers and curtsies. The Duchess follows the story of Georgiana (Keira Knightley), who becomes the Duchess of Devonshire after marrying the distant and almost cold Duke (Ralph Fiennes). The pressures to bear a son overcame her life, as does her interesting (read: awkward) living arrangement with the Duke and her growing love for another, Mr Grey (Dominic Cooper).

As a film, there are few real surprises along the way, although the story is enough to keep one interested. Unfortunately, while it is adequately entertaining, The Duchess lacks the depth and thoughtfulness of other films, and neither dares to tread interesting ground or make any interesting statements. There’s something missing here, and while the acting, story and design are all adequate (well actually, the design is quite spectacular) there’s nothing mildly memorable about this fanciful excursion into corsets and betrayal. There are a few choice moments that reveal the potential depth of this piece – but director Saul Dibb only lets the film lightly push any boundaries. In addition, the Duchess’ love interest, Mr Grey, lacks any real passion or charisma

and has about as much chemistry with Knightley as a goat has with a lemon. This lessens the emotional impact of some of the scenes, especially when seen against Fiennes, who craftily uses single expressions to hint at what goes on under the Duke’s matter-of-fact exterior. The ending feels rushed, and it attempts to leave us on a high note even though we’re inclined to feel a bit down about how things all turned out for the poor ol’ duchess. Overall, an enjoyable film, but nothing to be concerned about missing.

3 out of 5

Eagle Eye

The making of Eagle Eye:
Step 1: Take an up-and-coming actor and an actress making a comeback (Shia LaBeouf, Michelle Monaghan). Step 2: Add a highly predictable plot that would have techno-geeks salivating, if it were done right. Instead, do it lamely. Step 3: Look up the definition of ‘exciting, original plot twist’ - then do the exact opposite. Step 4: Throw in some explosions, shaky camerawork and car chases. Step 5: Turn everything to high speed, until the whole thing is whipped up into a ridiculous and contrived farce with a thoroughly lame ending. Step 6: Leave to stew for way too long. Eagle Eye would be good – if it wasn’t terrible. The idea sounds kind of cool – an everyman and everywoman are suddenly thrown into a plot to overthrow the government (sort of), following a serious of ominous phone calls from some omnipotent woman who knows everything and can control all technology – derail trains, change traffic lights, write messages on neon signs, control mobile phones – a skill she uses to make anyone do her bidding. We’ve pretty much seen all this in Die Hard 4.0, though.

The characters are okay, if cardboard’s your flavour – while on the run, Jerry Shaw (LaBeouf) also tries to solve the mystery of his brother’s death, while Monaghan, playing the standard model of ‘overprotective mother’, babbles irritatingly on about her stupid son the whole time. There are some dull government officials in there too (Rosario Dawson, Billy Bob Thornton).  Eagle Eye tries to do too much. Random (and stupid) plot threads lie by the wayside while director DJ Caruso busies himself with explosives and flying metal, only to be picked up later after you’ve completely forgotten about them. The themes, of which there are too many (Big Brother is watching, terrorism, technology gone bad) try to portray a world where paranoia is the price of freedom – but the whole thing is handled so incredibly badly that none of the lessons stick. Eagle Eye should be a conspiracy theorist’s wet dream. But the ideas and plot ‘twists’ just get more and more idiotic, and the ending is a little too similar to another recent ‘action’ film (and laughingly implausible). Overall, a waste of time, unless drunk.

2 out of 5

In Bruges

Despite what the trailer might imply, In Bruges is not a rollicking comedy, nor is it a no-holds-barred action shootout, laying waste to the streets of Bruges – although there is a little of that. In Bruges is a lot more – it’s a pensive, character-driven drama that ponders moral dilemmas and the nature of killing, full of thoughtful, tense scenes and atmospheric cinematography.

Okay, so that makes it sound kind of dorky, a bit like something your teacher might make you watch on a rainy day. It’s not. There is also a lot of swearing, some great one-liners, and a decent amount of blood, too.
You realise about halfway through the film that not a lot has happened in the plot. Two men (Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson) are in Bruges, waiting. Both of them are hit-men, but we haven’t really seen them kill anyone, yet. There’s also a girl (Clemence Poesy), a film set and a dwarf. One of the hit-men is plagued by the memory of his last, fateful, hit.

Not a lot happens in Bruges, which is perhaps what director Martin McDonagh is going for. A lot of thinking happens – thinking, and waiting. Bruges is (not-so-subtly) likened to a sort of purgatory or limbo, which is accentuated by surreal shots of the Bruges streets, where these two souls are sent to deliberate their fate and think about life, death and second chances.

Before you start to think it’s boring, I assure you that things do get more complex and action packed, as the fate of the characters reaches a bloody climax. The chemistry between Gleeson, Farrell and Ralph Fiennes (their boss) is impeccable, and aided by sharp dialogue. At its best, In Bruges is funny, tragic and clever. At its worst, it’s a little too self-aware and occasionally needlessly offensive.

In Bruges is probably a bit high brow for those expecting Colin Farrell shirtless and some flying devil-may-care bullets. The film will doubtlessly leave these people disappointed, as each bullet in Bruges comes with a moral price and the ambiguous ending is meant to leave you thinking, not screaming yippee-kay-ay. But for those with the patience to push through the heavy themes and foggy settings, In Bruges will be a delightful surprise with its powerful story, clever twist and frustrating but fitting ending

4 out of 5

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

I hate when films get too hyped, because you are inevitably disappointed. Hellboy II is, unfortunately all show and not a lot of substance. It’s loaded with amazing effects and design, but thin on plot and overall, feels as though it’s a mediocre film jazzed up into something people want to get excited about.

Hellboy (Ron Perlman) and co (Selma Blair, Doug Jones) must stop an ancient, supernatural prince from joining together three pieces of a magical crown and awakening a Golden Army to destroy all of mankind – the ungrateful and simple creatures that we are. Along the way, they face incredible and horrifying foes that the prince keeps throwing at them. Highly original story, to be sure.

While there are some interesting issues hidden amongst the special effects and gnarled monsters, director Guillermo del Toro (yes, Pan’s Labyrinth) doesn’t bother too much with them and they’re nothing too original anyway – hero saves mankind even though we don’t accept him, we arrogantly destroy the earth because we strive to become greater and greater. Snooze.

There is also the inevitable feeling that the art department kept challenging themselves with each creature, presenting us with weird thing after weird thing and trying to make it look believable instead of ridiculous. Carnivorous fairy? Check. Giant beansprout monster? Check. Man made of fog? Check. Giant metal robot bugs? Check.

There’s no faulting del Toro’s vision – he does conjure up amazing magical creatures, and puts this film together with a faultless style that makes it a visual feast. But what is there, beneath this good-looking, well-imagined exterior? Not that much.

I found Hellboy to be enjoyable enough, but not mind blowing or very affecting. In addition, del Toro uses some odd music in odd places, and the ending is completely terrible and corny, leaving you with a question mark rather than an exclamation point. Overall, Hellboy is a brilliantly designed film that still manages to lack that special something extra.

Canberra Musicians Club - Join the club

Canberra Musicians Club

Let’s be honest – while Canberra is certainly not short on public servants, porn and questionable public art, it is hardly overflowing with good venues and events for the musically inclined. That being said, we do have a decent few of both – but the founders of the new not-for-profit CANBERRA MUSICIANS CLUB are hoping to improve, enhance and develop the Canberra music scene even further, so that up-and-coming talent will not only be bred here, but will also want to stick around. Nigel McRae, President of the Canberra Musicians Club, outlines the fledging club’s goals and aims as they prepare for their launch.

So, from where did this idea spring forth? “The Club formed around the group of people responsible for the Backyard Backanalias, an underground series of concerts that eventually grew too big for its own backyard,” Nigel explains. “Our basic motivation has always grown from our despair that there is so much awesome music in Canberra, that it is so under-appreciated by local punters, and that the best musicians Canberra produces must go elsewhere to advance their careers. We hope the Canberra Musicians Club will be one more reason for musicians to stay in town and a great place for the people of Canberra to see them do their stuff.”

And what then? Take over the world, one gig at a time? “We want to have a permanent clubhouse in Canberra, something like Fremantle’s Fly by Night Club, a venue dedicated to live, original, contemporary music,” Nigel says. “Also, through our association with CIT’s Centre for Creative Industries, we hope to be a working classroom for students in audio, video, lighting, staging and public relations. We want it to be a hive of activity all day and night, a meeting place for Canberra’s cultural community and a place to celebrate music and the people who make it.”

Why do we need the Canberra Musicians Club? “Canberra has a wealth of contemporary music talent but there are few opportunities to see it presented at its best. As a not-for-profit organisation, we prioritise the music and ensure that any profit goes to the performers, to community initiatives and to making the Club, and Canberra, an even better place to experience contemporary music.”

To celebrate this new addition to Canberra’s musical landscape, the Canberra Musicians Club is having an epic launch, with a 12-hour music festival of eclectic acts and events. Some of Canberra’s musical talent helping to break the soil on the new club include the Ellis Collective, The Fuelers, Dubba Rukki, Fire on the Hill, The Wedded Bliss, Hashemoto, Julia and The Deep Sea Sirens, The Cashews, Smitten, Lotzi and Friends, Bionic Hearts, Adelyn, Starfish Hill, Simone Penkethman, Mechanical Pterodactyl, Alice, Fred Smith, Aleshia Flanagan, Haunted Attics, The Black Hat Band, Toucani, Kooky Fandango, Joseph Taylor Quintet and Los Chavos.

So, if the Canberra Musicians Club achieves its goal of transforming Canberra into a veritable musical hub of enriching art, action and appreciation, musicians and music lovers alike take note – there is a change afoot in the Canberra music scene.

The Canberra Musicians Club launch will take place on Saturday September 13 from 12pm (free entry between 12 to 6pm) at Albert Hall. Cost is $30 (full), $20 (conc.) or $10 (CMC Members). Visit their website at www.canberramusiciansclub.org.au for more info.

Persepolis

On watching Persepolis for the second time, I was struck by three things:

a) how visual stunning it actually is
b) how fascinating it’s story and history are and
c) how the second half is not nearly as good as the first.

Not that it’s an uninteresting film – quite the opposite in fact. Detailing the fascinating life of the feisty Marjane (Marji) Satrapi - a young girl growing up in Iran and struggling with war, identity and independence - Persepolis is an original and extremely watchable biographical tale. As she grows from a young girl to a young woman, Marji deals with typical teenage problems as well as more devastating questions of freedom and democracy.

Based on the graphic novel, Persepolis has a fantastic look (most of it is black and white), and all of the scenes are wonderfully imagined. The horrors of war and oppression in Iran are told through Marji’s eyes matter-of-factly, honestly and compellingly. Coupled with Satrapi’s striking visual style and some excellent animation, they make for a powerful and thought-provoking film.

Persepolis is probably not for everyone, but I found it rich with interesting characters, ideas and information, and certainly a must for anyone interested in the Islamic revolution or the history of Iran. As I said, I thought the second half (depicting Marji’s life as a young woman in Vienna, and later Iran) meandered around a little too much, and was certainly not as engaging or succinct as the first half.

Some parts of the film did grate on me – the Eye of the Tiger montage comes to mind – but I found most of the story to be personal, well-told and beautifully depicted. Persepolis deals with serious issues without sounding preachy or self-righteous, while still being full of humour and wit. Overall, a brilliant and unique film.

3 1/2 out of 5

Wanted

Wanted, to be frank, is nothing but bullet holes and plot holes. While I did find it quite entertaining, to say that this film pushes the limits of basic believability would be a vast understatement. I’m all for bending the laws of the known universe, and it is a ‘superhero’ type movie of sorts, but more than once I found myself going, “Oh, come ON!”

Based (oh-so-loosely) on a graphic novel, Wanted follows the mundane activities of Wesley, a downtrodden no-hoper in a dead-end job and crappy relationship. One day while going about his dull-as-dirt business, Wesley finds out from the coy and mysterious Fox (Angelina Jolie) that a) his absentee father was some sort of awesome assassin - before he got capped; b) his anxiety attacks are actually which allow him to slow down reality and perform superhuman feats; c) he can ‘bend bullets’; and d) he is being recruited into an ancient group called the Fraternity, headed by Sloan (Morgan Freeman), to hunt down his father’s killer.

Yes, this is one of those vendetta stories, where the ‘everyman’ suddenly pulls off something amazing and sticks it to the man. The concept of the Fraternity is flimsy to say the least – not only do they work out of a filthy warehouse, they kill people they don’t even know in order to possibly (yes, possibly) ‘save a thousand’. Oh yeah, and they take their orders from a prophetic loom that knows binary code.

Wanted is high speed, and unapologetic in its action. Director Timur Bekmambetov has a slick style (see Night Watch, et. al), which suits this ridiculous story. Plot holes abound, but instead of pretending to explain things, Wanted merely gives you the finger and launches into another explosive action sequence.

There is also a nifty gratuitous shirtless scene of McAvoy – why is it that in films, people always seem to get dressed while their rippling torso is still wet from a magical, healing wax bath?

Overall, this is a really bad film that is really good to watch. Oh yeah, and Morgan Freeman says “motherfucker.” If anything, see Wanted just for that.

3 out of 5

The Savages

The Savages, while not exactly a cheery film, is exceptional and well worth a look - something different amongst the blockbusters and action adventures of late.

This low-key but affecting film tells the story of siblings Wendy (Laura Linney) and Jon (Philip Seymour Hoffman), who learn that their previously abusive father (Philip Bosco) is suffering from dementia and needs constant care. After moving him to a nursing facility near Jon’s home, the pair deal with his impending mental and physical decline while struggling with their own unresolved emotional issues, past family conflicts and guilty consciences.Writer and director Tamara Jenkins creates a well-rounded story full of flawed yet understandable characters and believable dialogue, and presents it beautifully on film. The Savages is somewhat akin in tone to Lars and the Real Girl, although not as uplifting in its conclusion or quirky in nature. Dealing with the somewhat unexplored subject of caring for an elderly parent, the film is extremely thought-provoking and many scenes make one feel thoroughly uneasy, as Wendy and Jon take care of the father who seldom took proper care of them.

The film tackles several interesting and relevant issues, while never seeming preachy or unrealistic. Seymour Hoffman and Linney turn in seamless performances as usual, but Bosco as their father is particularly brilliant. The touching score is a tad reminiscent of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and enhances the story wonderfully.Though it isn’t something I would watch again, The Savages is poignant and realistic, well acted and intimately directed.

3 1/2 out of 5

Meet Dave

Let me start this review by saying that Eddie Murphy annoys me. He has for a long time now, and it upsets me that all he seems to do these days is low-brow, easy money ‘comedies’ or lame ‘family’ stinkers, when he was (once) a great comedian.

Meet Dave did not cure my hatred of Mr Murphy. For the first half an hour, all I wanted to do was punch him, or
possibly myself, in the face. His ridiculous excuse for acting (rollicking around blank-eyed with a wacky smile), coupled with an unoriginal premise and some ridiculously lame-ass jokes, sight gags and dialogue make Meet Dave highly forgettable and barely worth the admission price.

Murphy plays the tiny captain of a ship of inch-high aliens sent from a far away planet to drain the Earth’s oceans. The ship is, of course, Eddie Murphy (aka Dave) – and the tiny aliens steer the ship around, attempting to fit in with those crazy humans and locate some lost orb I barely gave a shit about. All very enriching, thoughtful content. Of course, there is a lady friend thrown into the mix, Gina (Elizabeth Banks, aka the poor man’s Rachel McAdams) and some bumbling cops along the way. Non-stop thrills.

Director Brian Robbins doesn’t really do much delving into character depths or exploring different facets of the idiotic plotline – instead, he settles happily for bad jokes and pop culture puns. Efforts to be ‘heart-warming’ fall pathetically short, and the moments of enlightenment where the crew of Dave discover what it’s like ‘to be human’ are handled so clumsily that a five-year-old could draw a cartoon about humanity that had more depth. Throw in a cringe-worthy gay stereotype and some heavy-handed cultural references (Myspace, anyone?) and this whole film could have been done a lot better. Or better yet, not at all.

Overall, though, there is some good stuff here – the sight of the end credits, a glimpse of Jimmy Stewart, some proof of what Marc Blucas has been up to post-Buffy. Other than that, don’t bother too much about seeing Meet Dave. Ever.

Get Smart

Get Smart was a pleasant surprise. I was expecting a ridiculous farce full of cringe-worthy gags, a flimsy plot and pathetic overacting. To my delight, not only was it more than watchable, it was actually pretty entertaining (despite some overacting, and one or two lame gags, that is).

Another TV show adapted for the big screen (nostalgia seems to be a big seller these days), Get Smart follows Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell), an analyst at secret agency CONTROL who dreams of being a field agent. He has a bumbling yet charming quality – and though he can more than hold his own in a fight, he has yet to be promoted. When the organisation KAOS starts attacking CONTROL field agents, and ransacks the headquarters, Smart finally gets his promotion and hits the streets with partner Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway) aiming to track down the culprits. Oh, and there’s some stuff with nuclear weapons, too.

Get Smart doesn’t try to imitate the TV series too closely – thus it doesn’t thoroughly make an ass of itself, which I respect. Carell does a great job as Smart, having perfected his slightly downtrodden ‘everyman’ expression that just makes you want to pat him on the head. Hathaway is a great ball-breaking 99 (whose potential as eye candy is well-exploited), and Alan Arkin as the Chief is fantastic as always. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson smoulders as Agent 23, and proves that he’s more than a buff stage prop by actually turning in a pretty solid performance, and handling comedy more than adequately.

I won’t get too wrapped up in praise, however – there were more than a few jokes that fell flat, and overall it’s not the most original outing. Some plot aspects stretch the imagination a little too far, and the big ‘reveal’ is hardly a surprise. When the plot seems to get carried away with matters deemed serious, director Peter Segal tries too hard to revive the mood by inserting some comedic moments, which stick out like a giant neon sign screaming ‘LAUGH NOW! DON’T FORGET THIS IS A COMEDY!’. The result is some forced ‘there for the sake of it’ jokes and some annoyingly inconsistent scenes.

Overall though, Carell and Hathaway charm, and there’s more than enough here to keep you happy for the running time.

3 out of 5

The Happening

DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE.

The Happening, here are ten things I hate about you.

1. I hate your title.
2. I hate your director. M. Night Shyamalan has well and truly lost it. The Happening actually decreases your quality of life, makes you wish you’d never seen it and is the cinematic equivalent of a kick in the face. I blame you, Mr Director/Writer/Producer.
3. I hate your plot. A mysterious phenomenon/event that renders people unable to talk or move, and which leads them to suicide? A chilling concept, yes. Unfortunately, M. Night executes it as a ridiculous farce that is sickening in its goriness and completely lacking class. The terror here is handled about as subtly as a shovel to the eye.
4. I hate the actors whose resumes you have soiled. Mark Wahlberg lets close-ups do all the work as he fluctuates between woodenly fumbling through scenes like he barely gives a shit, and baffling bouts of overacting that border on comedy. Zooey Deschanel plays his wide-eyed, vacant wife - and is about as useful as a cardboard sign flapping in the wind - spitting out her lines like she’s had a lobotomy, and wandering through scenes as though looking for the nearest crack pipe.
5. I hate your dialogue. (To replicate, simply take something B-grade, remove any irony or satire, add a good dose of cliché along with offensively obvious exposition, mix with pathetic attempts at drama and spoon feed it to an audience that should have walked out after the bee monologue.)
6. I hate that the characters say the word ‘happening’ every freaking two seconds.
7. I hate your unnecessary violence. The repeated suicides are tasteless and horrifying.
8. I hate your stupid ‘phenomenon’. Spoiler in white text: it’s the fucking trees. They hate people. Cue some terrifying, tense shots of… grass waving in the wind? Tree branches blowing around and… plotting?
9. I hate your ignorance. Throwing psycho old ladies and rifle-bearing crazies into the plotline doesn’t spell excitement – it makes your director look desperate.
10. I hate your ending. You reach the point of absurdity then decline even further, only to push merrily on to a conclusion that can only be described as a welcome, though thoroughly lame, relief.

I will rate this movie, if M. Night returns my lost hour and a half to me.

The Counterfeiters

The Counterfeiters needed better publicity. It’s a film that is definitely worth seeing, does almost everything right - and yet I knew practically nothing walking into it and had little to no interest before that.
Sally Sorowitsch (Karl Markovics), an exceptional counterfeiter caught just short of perfecting the American dollar, is imprisoned in the Mauthausen concentration camp. Here, he is forced to become part of a counterfeiting ring consisting of other prisoners selected for their artistic, printing and photographic skills. They are forced to practice and master the art of counterfeiting pound and dollar notes for the Nazi movement, struggling day to day with the knowledge of what they are helping to do, but doing it because it’s the only way to survive.

The Counterfeiters is an extremely engaging film, executed with class and subtlety. Shot in a very observational style, it is understated and realistic while still being powerful and moving. It’s infuriating, inspiring, and above all a different sort of war film than any I’ve seen for a while. The Counterfeiters shows the realities of that period in German history without being too blatant in its execution, and expresses the different views of the prisoners with empathy and consideration. Overall, director Stefan Ruzowitzky provides a film that is sad without trying too hard to be emotional, and gritty and thought-provoking without being too confronting.
The Counterfeiters is a war film that isn’t full of itself, that isn’t trying too hard to get a point across, look a certain way, or fit into a certain genre. While it isn’t a cinematic masterpiece, or necessarily a film to be remembered years on, it does what it sets out to do - telling a unique story very well.

3 1/2 out of 5

Sex and the City

Ever heard the expression “Quit while you’re ahead”? The makers of the Sex and the City movie sure haven’t – otherwise they would have stopped trying to flog this (albeit lucrative and well-dressed) horse.

Sex and the City is a saddening mix of cliché, corniness and shameless designer name-dropping – with too little substance, style and emotion. The worst thing is, it takes characters and stories that a lot of people love and drags them through a shredder of pathetic symbolism, lame puns and depressing plot turns.

Once again, we join the foursome that made threesomes and blowjobs acceptable café conversation – Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), Samantha (Kim Cattrall) and Charlotte (Kristin Davis), four fabulous and successful New York women just trying to be happy. It’s a few years on from the series finale, and the people and stories have grown - each woman faces an issue or fear that she has to overcome, Carrie and Miranda in particular. However, instead of an inspiring conclusion, Carrie’s final words are just a little bit too lame, and (coupled with one too many infuriatingly blatant attempts at tear-jerking) the whole thing seems far too forced.

Sex and the City takes a slightly harsher look at the lives of these four – the more upbeat tone of the show (which gently lightened the sadder plot moments) takes a darker turn, and the high, happy moments don’t even things out enough to please. At times, it feels like one long episode – and not even a particularly good one at that. What used to be sassy is now sappy, and the sex scenes that seemed completely necessary now seem odd additions that are slightly out of place. Add on some seriously bad music scoring to highlight some almost offensively clichéd moments and this whole affair ruins all the good work of season six.

Harsh? Perhaps. Nonetheless, I kind of wish I’d never seen this film. The series ended on such a perfect high – only to be ruined by this absolute farce. I hate that I didn’t like this.

2 1/2 out of 5

Smart People

Smart People is that person you really, really want to like – they’re the type of person you normally enjoy hanging out with, there are a lot of things that are good about them, you really should find them interesting and compelling - but somehow they’re just not doing it for you.

Widower Lawrence Wetherhold (Dennis Quaid) is a pretentious professor with a gruff exterior, a chip on the shoulder, and a lumbering walk. Life is complex for Lawrence and his two children - the slightly prissy, socially backwards, exceptionally smart Vanessa (Ellen Page) and the exasperated but artistic James (Ashton Holmes). After Lawrence’s bumbling but endearing brother (Thomas Haden Church) turns up and Lawrence meets Janet (Sarah Jessica Parker), a doctor with a few issues of her own, things really start to get interesting. Sort of.

There are some good elements to Smart People, but mostly it seems a bit empty, with an intagible ’something’ missing. It never quite hits the right note, never quite endears you to its cause, and while there are some genuinely heartfelt moments, overall there’s not enough to hold the piece together. Director Noam Murro is clearly more than competent, and there are some good moments in the script, but somehow Smart People still falls short.

On the positive side, Church really saves proceedings, dragging the film out of complete self-absorption, and contributing some great scenes. Quaid doesn’t deliver his best performance, and while Parker isn’t too bad, she should branch out of the ‘uptight professional’ role that she seems to have favoured post-Carrie. None of the characters are particularly likeable, which also means that Lawrence and Janet make a pretty unconvincing couple. The implausible and convenient ending grates a little, and overall Smart People tries too hard, as cardboard characters wander around a situation that’s just a little too contrived. While there are some good lines and nice moments, it’s not enough to drag this film out of mediocrity. Ironic, no?

2 1/2 out of 5

Muscles @ Academy Friday March 28

Being at Muscles was sort of like being in a sardine can, with a bunch of scantily clad, gyrating, pushy sardines that are all up in yo grill.*

Still, it was a very upbeat, fun, and excited sardine can all the same. And Muscles put on a pretty good show. Since atmosphere is everything - except for one surly looking girl who spent the whole time scowling with her back to the stage - it was definitely a pro that everyone seemed to be in a pretty damn good mood and were enjoying themselves immensely.

Perhaps the best part was listening to everyone sing all the words to Ice Cream, or screaming “Hey Muscles, I love you, I want to have your babies!” Muscles tripping a little as he went onstage for the encore was a little bit adorable too, and his ‘impromptu’ acoustic reprise of Ice Cream pretty much tipped the scales over to awesome.

Overall, I was probably going to enjoy this show because I like Muscles right now. After scrambling for the one review ticket to the show, I did have somewhat of a problem with standing in a puddle of beer being elbowed by a giant mulleted goon while just trying to enjoy some tunes about being sweaty. Generally though, Muscles made up for all that by seeming pretty happy throughout and playing some damn fun tunes.

*Editor’s note: author may not have actually written last phrase.

Gone Baby Gone

Ben Affleck has a lot of things to answer for (Jersey Girl, Pearl Harbor, Jennifer Lopez), but Gone Baby Gone is not one of them. In his directorial debut, Affleck delivers an atmospheric, gripping drama that is not only exceptionally powerful, but also full of brilliant performances.

Gone Baby Gone follows Patrick (Casey Affleck), a private detective trying to find a kidnapped little girl, Amanda (Madeline O’Brien), amidst much police and public frenzy. As he struggles to find the truth, with both the help and hindrance of the police force (notably Morgan Freeman and Ed Harris), Patrick comes up against some major ethical and personal problems. Based on a Dennis Lehane novel (see also: Mystic River), expect lots of gunfire, dark moody locations and plenty of moral questions.

Casey Affleck is wonderful as the rough-around-the-edges Patrick – he gives a powerful, believable performance and holds his own against the likes of Freeman and Harris. Freeman is brilliant as always as the police captain, and both he and Affleck give some convincing speeches in the closing scenes. And Harris is able to transform completely into the infuriating and magnetic Detective Bressant.

Aside from the title, one of the only other things I didn’t like about Gone Baby Gone was Michelle Monaghan’s snooze-worthy turn as Patrick’s partner and girlfriend, Angie. Not only do you not give a shit what she does, she is effectively a background prop that does absolutely nothing to enhance the film. Perhaps it was her useless character (who just lurks by Patrick’s side like a broom handle), but I don’t think Monaghan’s thoroughly uncharismatic performance helped.

Overall, Gone Baby Gone is full of colourful profanity, violence, dark scenes, Boston flavour and heavy themes. It’s one of those films that you’ll want to talk about afterwards, in the very least to praise Ben Affleck for actually doing something right after Gigli.

4 out of 5

Lars and the Real Girl

Lars and the Real Girl is quite unlike anything I’ve seen in a long time. A very sweet story, it is just unusual enough while still being real, and definitely has a lot of heart. While it does occasionally have the feel of the ubiquitous “quirky small-town drama”, there’s a sad undertone to the whole piece that makes it more melancholy as a whole, and much more affecting.

Lars Lindstrom (Ryan Gosling) is an introverted, slightly odd young man – he lives in his brother’s garage, he barely speaks, and is considered by his town as sweet but a little strange. One evening, he introduces his brother Gus (Paul Schneider) and Gus’ wife Karen (Emily Mortimer) to his new girlfriend, Bianca - a Real Doll (read: a realistic “companion” that you can order off the internet). While Lars believes Bianca to be an actual woman, the real surprise is when Lars’ small hometown bands together in the delusion - to protect Lars, but also in the hope that one day he might realise the truth.

Ryan Gosling is a god. He portrays sensitive, quiet and awkward Lars wonderfully, and pretty much breaks your heart. Everyone here does a fantastic job – Schneider is great as the slightly gruff Gus, and Mortimer is gorgeous and sweet as the caring Karen. Patricia Clarkson is exceptional as Lars’ doctor, saying plenty with just one thoughtful glance or a change of expression.

Any film with a sex doll as a main character runs the risk of being absolutely horrendous in every way. But Craig Gillespie’s sensitive and gentle direction paints Lars as a sad and troubled character who just wants to be with someone, but who struggles to connect with real people. Thus, while there are plenty of comedic moments that make the most of the ‘sex doll’ premise, it is the quiet, sadder moments that are the glue of the film.

What more can I say, really? Lars and the Real Girl has it all – a slightly sad but very inspiring story; brilliant and touching acting from the whole cast; well-written dialogue; poignant direction and fantastically emotive music. Overall, a must see.

4 out of 5

Casual Projects - Rock the Cas-P-Bah

For a band that started out as a ‘casual project’, CASUAL PROJECTS are doing pretty damn well. Currently on the move completing a tour to promote their upcoming album No Rest, the eight-piece hip-hop/funk outfit are starting to make quite a name for themselves, having also released a video for their song Move Along. Casual Projects consists of Dan Bray (sax/synth), Julian Abrahams (guitar/vocals), Kane Watters (bass), Muchtar Johnson (vocals), Munro Melano (keyboard/vocals), Nick Keeling (vocals/synth/trombone), Pat Lillicrap (vocals) and Yen Nguyen (drums). They’ve rocked on with Kerri-Anne Kennerley, had the Indy clip of the week on Rage, and have recently been added to the Channel V playlist. Overcoming time differences and some bad reception, Munro fills me in on what life is like in the Projects.

The Move Along tour, which has taken Cash Proj from capital city to country town, has so far included sleeping in wet tents and almost being decked by an unlucky gambler. “It’s been random but great at the same time, you know? Kind of like the pay off for four years of hard work. We’re in our downtime week at the moment, so no gigs… we just went to Dreamworld actually! It’s been really great so far.”

There is a little glory along the way, however, thanks to some good timing. “Oh, you know what was magic, actually? After our gig in Nimbin, we went and watched Rage because we knew we were going to be on. This guy that was working in the hotel came in and he was like, ‘Oh, you guys are a really great band!’ So we said, ‘Thanks, this is our film clip actually, on Rage,’ and he just couldn’t believe it. He sat there for a while, freaking out, and then after about a minute he just walked out of the room. That was pretty awesome, just having that guy be like, ‘Hey, that’s you! That’s you on TV! Nah, it can’t be you!’”

So what can we expect on the upcoming album, which follows a debut filled with catchy, good-natured gems? “We took a long time putting it together… the people who produced it are pretty heavy people, like Tony Buchen and Chris Geheringer. It was really incredible getting to record in one of the best studios in Australia. There are some things that if we could change them, we would, but that’s the nature of the game. We talked to our producer about it before we went in and he was like, ‘the album is just a moment in time – it just captures where you guys are as a band at that time’. We are very happy with the result. It’s definitely got more synthesisers, so it’s a bit newer sounding I guess. There are some party tracks on there, and storytelling tracks… all kinds.”

So what is next, what are some of their upcoming goals? “Hopefully we’re going to own our bus soon, and we’re going to get a trailer too, just to make it a lot more realistic and feasible to go on the road again. We’re going to be doing some school gigs too, workshops and that kind of stuff.”

Any final thoughts? “It’s nice to feel like we can make it as an independent band – it’s just all getting that much better for us at the moment. We’re starting to get some kind of radio play, and people are supporting us. I mean, people always have, just more people are supporting us now, and in the right places, I guess.”
So what three words describe Casual Projects? Ever democratic, Munro puts it to the band. “Explosive, conscious, and fun. Yeah, definitely fun.”

Casual Projects will be bringing the party to ANU Bar on April 18 as part of the Move Along tour. Their upcoming album No Rest is released on May 10.

Haunted Attics - Ghostly Characters

HAUNTED ATTICS haven’t been on the scene that long (they’ve only really been around since 2007), but with a slick new EP about to be released, they’re definitely set to make themselves known. The five-piece indie-rock band consists of Nigel (keys), Jacob (singer/songwriter/guitar), Adrian (bass), Nick (drums) and George (lead guitar). Struggling through some erratic phone reception and the perils of speakerphone, I chatted to Adrian, George and Jacob, who filled me in on why change is a good thing, the glory of postering, and the story so far. (Note: I won’t even pretend that I figured out whose voice was whose, so the three of them become one entity for the purposes of this interview. One equally witty and informative entity.)

Formerly The Lavans, Haunted Attics have changed names, changed sounds, and have a new outlook on being a band. I asked them why they decided to ditch The Lavans. “We changed from The Lavans because we didn’t think much thought went into it - it was sort of just the name off the street that we used to practice on.

Personally, I thought that outlook of not thinking about things ran through our music as well, so we changed direction. We collaborate more as far as the direction of the music goes now - we spend more time thinking about the concepts and trying different things. They’re all completely new songs as well, we kind of scrapped all of the Lavans songs, bar two, and started afresh.”

So what inspires and influences the new, reborn Haunted Attics? “We’ve got such a diverse range of musical influences - from The Doors, The Who and ‘60s bands, to you know, Wu-Tang Clan… But seriously, our keyboard player Nigel listens to a lot more classical music, and the soundtrack to The Lion King, so we’ve got that influence… We’re all so different. I think if we didn’t all have different interests, then we’d just sound like any other band.”

Indeed, their new six track EP Haunted Attics is full of brooding yet catchy tunes that each have a distinct sound. “They’re all pretty different. Another thing about us as a band is that a lot of our songs sound quite different from each other. We don’t aim for a particular sound. They do have things in common, but I think you can tell them apart more easily than with other bands. With the EP, We Eat Young Souls and Alisoun Baudelaire are quite folky, where things like Oriental Girl are quite punk, almost. Mormons at the Mall has a little bit of a new wave chorus. There’s quite a mixture on there.”

What plans and goals do Haunted Attics have next? “I’d like to be able to give up my office job and be a professional band, that’d be pretty sweet. And I’d like to have a go at this whole touring thing, I hear it gets pretty tiring, but I’d like to give that go. That would be an interesting experience for us I think.”

So what three words do Haunted Attics use to describe themselves? “Would ‘massively inflated egos’ work?”
In the end, they diplomatically decide to choose one word each - energetic, sinister, and hope. Interesting choices - and just like the band, certainly not boring.

Haunted Attics launch their debut, self-titled EP at the Transit Bar on Thursday April 3, with Hancock Basement, From the South and Jonny Telafone. From 8pm, free entry. More info at www.hauntedatticsmusic.com .

The Other Boleyn Girl

The Other Boleyn Girl seems to have it all, doesn’t it? The oddly sexually attractive Eric Bana (who would have thought?!), the quite obviously sexually attractive Scarlett Johansson, and the personification of perfection, Natalie Portman. Add to that some period dress, a 16th century setting, some good old-fashioned sibling rivalry and the definitely dreamy Jim Sturgess (see: Across the Universe) and this film is bound to be good! Right?

Well, almost right. All the elements are there – sexy stars, an (almost) historical story full of betrayal and bitchiness, and plenty of sinning. But for me, The Other Boleyn Girl is a fairly middle-range historical film – without the saucy additions of Portman and Johansson, it could easily be overlooked.

Many people have heard of Anne Boleyn (Portman) - the second wife of King Henry VIII (Bana) - but fewer know about her sister Mary (Johansson), who also had a relationship with the king. The beautiful pair compete for his affections – sweet, simple Mary who genuinely cares for Henry, and the more confident Anne, who (not satisfied with being merely another mistress) has her eyes set firmly on the crown. Full of confrontations, interesting ‘moral’ decisions and thinly-veiled insults, this troubled tale doesn’t exactly end in a merry forest frolick.

The plot is fairly compelling, although there is a change in tone about two-thirds of the way through the film, with the thus-far fairly light-hearted depiction shifting rapidly into a darker mood. Portman plays the
manipulative, determined Anne fantastically, and often outshines Johansson, whose sensitive, meek Mary isn’t really a good fit. Both actresses share some steamy scenes with Bana, whose troubled but strong portrayal of King Henry VIII has you shifting from empathy, to disgust, to pity.

The Other Boleyn Girl tells an interesting story, and is supported by solid performances from everyone. Overall, there is very little to fault, except perhaps the blatant historical inaccuracies and fictitious allusions - but it’s Hollywood, we expect that. Sadly though, The Other Boleyn Girl left me fairly unimpressed. Perhaps I’ll check out The Tudors.

3 1/2 out of 5

Muscles - Fabulous Muscles

Muscles has a lot going for him right now. A catchy debut album of armwaving, head-bopping, perfect dance-pop nuggets; a tour that has four shows already sold out; and plenty of excitable fans willing to dance on a muddy foreshore (with or without shirts).

My chat with MUSCLES started a bit awkwardly, to be honest. Perhaps rampantly babbling on about his ‘awesome’ album, wonderful Melbourne and my own love of ice cream wasn’t the best way to endear myself right away. However, once I got past the fact that he sounded slightly disinterested, I realised he’s actually quite chatty. Muscles gave me an insight into his future, his past and how this was sort of his plan all along.

So, how does someone go from making beats on an outdated program in year seven to releasing a best-selling album, Guns Babes Lemonade? Well, Muscles was prepared to put in the time, for a start. “I read an article in a DJ magazine that had all of these DJs talking about when dance music became popular in the ’90s. They said they’d been doing it for ten, 15 years before they started becoming successful. Back then, I thought if I started learning how to make songs while I was younger, then when I was in my early 20s hopefully a lot of people would start listening to them. And it just kind of weirdly happened like that.” Since touring life can serve up surprises, I asked about the craziest experience Muscles has faced. “When I played Foreshore festival in Canberra, that was pretty crazy - it was pouring rain, my flight was cancelled from Sydney and I was in the airport for nine hours beforehand. I literally just got to the festival and jumped straight on stage. It was raining, and seeing all the people throwing mud at each other was just really funny.” So, what’s the best thing to happen so far? “I went overseas four times last year, that was insane. I did four tours - it kind of all happened as soon as I signed with Modular.

That was crazy. Especially playing festivals in Australia, that’s been probably one of the best things. I mean, every festival I’ve played the crowd’s gotten bigger and bigger… I don’t really know how it’s happening. It must be word of mouth - more people are just talking about the music, that’s pretty awesome I think. I haven’t really tried to force myself upon people - I’ve kind of always gone with the idea that if people don’t know about you, then they’re not ready to know about you yet. It just kind of happened really naturally - it’s been really cool.” As part of the tour, Muscles is also doing an acoustic show in Melbourne, just vocals and a grand piano. Intrigued, I asked him a little bit about what he had in mind. “A lot of my songs start on piano, and I’ve been playing my current set up for about a year and a half now. So I thought that it’d be cool to try something different. I’m really scared because I haven’t practiced enough yet, and I’ve got no idea how it’s going to sound.”

Songs in store include a few from Guns Babes Lemonade, some earlier, more experimental demos and maybe two new songs. “It should be good… I mean, hopefully. If it’s successful I might do an Australian tour on the piano. I was joking around, saying that maybe I’d support someone like Sarah Blasko on her next tour. ‘Muscles: Acoustic’ - that could be pretty crazy.” So what’s in store for his follow-up album? “I don’t want to talk about it until it’s finished, but it’s very much going to move away from the first album, which was kind of a pop album using electronic elements. I think the next album will be more of an electronic album, using pop elements.

Maybe less singing, more cool beats. I’m just focusing on writing as many cool beats as possible at the moment. It won’t be out until mid next year, I’m guessing, so we’ve still got a way to go.”

Any final advice for up-and-coming musicians? “I guess… work really hard. It’s a really challenging job. You just have to be very creative, always coming up with ideas. Just keep going at it, and know where you want to fit in. Be prepared to work really hard. That’s about it.” In hindsight, I think I agree with the three words that Muscles chose to describe himself (musically or otherwise). Electric, epic and eccentric - and if you’re wondering, his favourite food is ice cream.

Muscles plays live at Academy on Friday March 28, with supports Jeff Drake, Mikah Freeman and Chris Fraser. Pre-sale tickets $25 from Landspeed, Stocks and inthemix.com.au , or for more on the door if available.