You Pissed Me Off!

Column: You Pissed Me Off   |   Date Published: Thursday, 16 March 17   |   Author: Some Pissed Off Person   |   1 week ago

Scenario: I was driving up on one of the ramps onto Adelaide Avenue.

Usually, if there are cyclists trying to cross the ramp to continue on their cycle path, I slow down or stop, and wave them through.

We exchange a friendly wave and a smile and continue on our respective ways. We both have a good start to our day.

This time - and it's already a warning sign - it was a recumbent bike, with a grey-bearded public servant type.

I stop, politely wave, the guy stops too and aggressively waves me to continue driving.

When I drive past, he gives me a finger and tells me to f... off.

Wow.. You sir pissed me off.

First of all, who, with any dignity and intelligence, would ride a bike like that? It looks completely unergonomic. It's low (hardly visible if you drive past them). It’s hard to get on and off of it, it's a disaster of design.

Riders of these contraptions could just as well have “I’m a pretentious wanker” tattooed on their forehead.

The riders are always undernourished men with grey beards (perhaps a ponytail under their helmet) looking like they're just coming from a morning tofu festival cycling to their comfy parasitic job, probably writing studies on the effect of climate change on intergender squirrels or such.

Sorry sir! I was only trying to be polite.

Did I perhaps represent the oppressive capitalist society to you by being polite?

I thought of stopping and letting you know what I think of you, but your vocabulary is probably restricted to Green Weekly slogans and swearwords.

Good ride sir! Until natural selection, in the shape of a car whose driver was unable to see your death-trap, gets you off the road.


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