I am almost certain that this entire interview can be summed up in just one word – BEARDS! There is no escaping it! If those six letters don’t quite catch your fancy, these four men’s lives revolve solely around beards. They grow beards, they sing about beards, and even fall in love with beards. I myself, not being the most knowledgeable person concerning the issue, found it quite interesting and in fact rather intimidating chatting to Facey McStubblington, guitarist of THE BEARDS and undoubtedly one of the worlds most dedicated and revolutionary beard enthusiasts.
Just last year The Beards performed at the opening of the World Beard and Moustache Championships. “It was easily the best gig we’ve had. We played in front of nearly 1500 people, most of which had beards, all of which loved beards.” Being the very first time Australia competed in the event’s long 20 year history, McStubblington felt it important to mention “I myself entered into the Verdi category, which is a full beard, capped at about ten cm with a big moustache twirled upwards.”
Having flown all the way over to Alaska for both the performance and for the competition itself, there was of course a little bit more to the trip than just competing. “It was brilliant,” McStubblington enthusiastically adds. “Gorgeous weather, everyone was really nice. The air was like mother’s milk, it was beautiful and we saw moose and bison. It was like a big bloody bull thing, but a vicious kind; they have hooves and beards hanging down from their chins.”
As would be expected in such a conversation as this one, somehow we wound up on the delicate yet entertaining issue of lady-beards. “I say the more hair the better,” proclaims McStubblington. “The next Beard and Moustache Championships is actually in Norway next year; I might just take myself a wife while I’m there. We are all for the lady-beard. In fact,” he loudly adds, “when we come to Canberra, I, Facey McStubblington, will be looking to take the most beautiful hairy woman back to my accommodation.” (Just throwing that into the equation as a heads up for all you hairy women out there.)
When asked about their greatest inspirations (excluding beards) it truly does become evident that when it comes to a conversation with Facey McStubblington, there really is no escaping the matter. Drifting directly back to a solid discussion of the message that they are trying to convey, he responds with “the desire to live in a world, a perfect world, where everyone has facial hair. The music is really secondary to trying to impose our ideas on to people and getting them to realise the wrongdoings of major corporations like Gillette,” he preaches. “Shaving is playing god. This is not our job in the world. It’s just evolution. Beardism will succeed.”
Catch The Beards at Transit Bar on Thursday May 13. Entry is free!
