To the lycra enveloped cyclists who are too “cool” to use a bell before they sail past me you Piss me off! Do you think bells are gay? You couldn’t be more gay if you were being fucked in the bottom wearing your grandmothers wedding dress whilst singing the soundtrack from Yentl you cockspanking chromeplated knobgobblers. I know you have passed me because you stink of Pantene and Smug you leave in you wake. You may think that the impression you create is “We are Gods, grovel before us you badly dressed flabby puss bucket”, but if I were king of the world I would reinterpret that as “I have very healthy organs, please harvest them, and if possible, put my liver into the body of a 47 year old star trek fan who has devoted his life to drinking a lake of beer and believes that there is much good work still to be done”. When a truck or car crashes into a group of cyclists it is not an accident, this is Gods hand taking control of the vehicle and trying to prove there is a god exists. Well, God, if you do exist then you are not doing such a great job, up the body count and I will happily worship at a church of your choice. You piss me off, Die now.
