Skipping Girl Vinegar / Julia and the Deep Sea

Hilltop Hoods / Classified / Briggs : @ ANU Bar, Tuesday August 4

To mosh or not to mosh? That is the question I am faced with as I enter the ANU Bar for the sold out Hilltop Hoods gig. It's set up sensibly for once, meaning that there is a very appealing vantage point from the steps which lead down into the refectory. It's tempting to loiter there so I can actually see, but the mosh is already stewing in front of the stage, arms in the air and bodies writhing to hypnotic hip-hop beats.

We stay on the steps - in the nosebleed section, if you will (I see what you did there! Ed.) - to watch the openers. Canadian supporter Classified is a no-show, so Briggs performs with Vents from Funkoars. They put on a good show, but Hilltop fans are notoriously uninterested in anyone but Hilltop. The crowd is fairly unresponsive and continues to call for the headliners throughout the set.

There's a long break before Hilltop come on, punctuated by the usual cries of "hillllltop, hilllllltop." We use the time to make our way through the crowd towards the stage. Down here, the air is intoxicatingly hot and thick and sweaty. Guys crack open cans of beer and it fizzes and runs down their Southern Cross-tattooed arms. Soon I'm so god damn thirsty that I want to lick it off them. As is typical of a hip-hop gig, the fans are mostly male and people have beanies on despite it being about forty five degrees. There are also couples, middle-agers, girls in heels and freshie guys in fluoro t-shirts - a testament to Hilltop's universal appeal.

When the Hoods finally take the stage, it's worth the wait. They begin with The Return, the first track off State of the Art, and Suffa and Pressure take the stage with their usual captivating bravado. They have the audience on a string - you can't help but jump because the whole crowd lifts you as it moves and all Pressure has to do is say "put your hands up!" and a sea of limbs fills the air. I feel like a butterfly caught in a herd of rhinos. And it's fantastic.

Debris reminds us what an incredible DJ he is; scratching like a superstar and winding the beats faster and faster until the MCs are rhyming double-time to keep up. He fuses old and new Hilltop, does an awesome remix of Classic Example and even throws some Led Zeppelin into the mix. Of course, Messrs Suffa and Pressure take it all in their stride, performing with the polish and confidence that comes from twelve years in the industry. The Hard Road absolutely goes off, as does The Nosebleed Section, with the entire crowd delightedly screaming "BITCH!" at the top of their lungs.

I barely saw a thing once I left the steps, but there ain't nuthin' like a Hilltop mosh pit. It's almost an extreme sport. You're getting knocked about so much you're going to be black and blue, you're high from all the marijuana you're passively smoking, you've lost your friends, your shoes and your dignity, and on top of all that you're crying like a baby because this is your favourite god damn band in the whole entire world. You might be heartbroken. You might have lost your job. None of it matters. You're free.

Grafton Primary / Hey Now DJs / Cassette Kids : @ Academy, Friday August 14

How much fun one has at a gig depends upon a wide range of factors. Key 'fun determinants' include factors such as how much one likes the band/s playing, the venue in which they are playing, how long one had to wait in line before entering said venue, how cold the wait in the line was, how much one's friends bitched and whinged about being cold while waiting in the line... you get my point. On some nights - the very best, golden nights - only good things happen. And on rare occasions, only bad things happen (so far, my friends and I have only experienced one of these wretched occasions, and it goes down in our history as 'Black Thursday'). Most outings, however, are a yin-yang mixture of positive and negative events, hopefully ending up weighted towards the good side by the end of the night. The following is my account of the positives and negatives of the Grafton Primary gig. Call it a social experiment if you will. (I wouldn't, though. It's not scientific in the least.)

The night began with pizza and ice cream with one of my best friends (plus). We got glammed-up and set off for Academy and we got in straight away (plus!). However, we soon realised that there was no line because, erm, there was nobody there. Cassette Kids opened to a near-empty club and while lead singer Katrina Noorbergen did her best to get the energy levels up, their self-consciously sparse sound fell somewhat flat on the glittering Acad floor (minus). Is it just me or were you told this gig was sold out? Weird.

Then, just when the funometer needle was swinging towards the negative end of the dial, Hey Now DJs took control of the decks. And can I just say that I LOVE THEM. They reminded us of the joys of some quality '80s synth with Sweet Dreams by The Eurythmics, whipped out some classic dance anthems from Sneaky, Fedde and Armand van Helden, as well as playing Gettin Jiggy Wit It by Will Smith (plus, plus, PLUS). Even Grafton lead singer Josh Garden hit the floor, limbering up with his trademark fluid dancing.

By the time Grafton Primary took to the stage the club was buzzing, but by no means full. I had initially thought Academy was an odd venue for this gig, but the acoustics are fairly fantastic and the larger space and many levels meant that I could actually see. GP's set was FLAWLESS - Josh and Ben were so well-rehearsed that you couldn't even notice their cues. All Stars absolutely went off, of course, as did other tracks from Eon like Records For the Righteous and We Are the Music. During Telling Lies we started talking to some cute guys who were dancing with their backs against the speakers (one of my favourite things to do in the world, if you don't mind the hearing damage), but soon found out that they had only recently turned eighteen and were therefore FAR too young for us (boo, hiss, minussss). However, mad dancing to I Can Cook off the Relativity EP made us forget all about our near-cougar experience. Overall GP played an impressively long and energetic set and Academy's amazing lighting setup complimented them perfectly.

So: venue was great, lighting was great, openers were good and headliners were amazing. On the whole, the night was one big fat plus sign. Kind of like the Red Cross symbol, but not, 'cause if we'd needed the Red Cross that definitely would have been a negative and as we know, a negative is not a positive. Oh dear. Told you I was bad at this science stuff. All I know is that E = MC2 and that's because Grafton Primary told me so.