Youth Week is nearly upon us; a wonderful time where we can share our collective disappointment at where the human race is headed. I mean, they just don’t work as hard as we did, huh? I remember my first paper round; trudging through a bleak English Winter – sans shoes, of course – navigating bastard driveways and murderous dogs for hours on end, and all for a New England ha’penny, which bought you just enough pig snouts to see you through to the next job. But did we complain? Did we bollocks! Nowadays kids just expect to be given the latest electronic pea-Pod or plasmo pictocube, or whatever they’re called. That would have taken 17 years to save up for one of those in my day but dammit, we would have earned it! <strikes fist into open palm>
I also received a press release recently proudly proclaiming the seven days following Mar 21 to be Seniors Week in NSW. Which of course begs the question; where’s Middle Age Week? A whole demographic is being tragically ignored. I can see it now… we could run workshops on how to sew leather patches onto our tweed jackets. There would be the beloved ‘trouser hitch’ comp – whoever has their belt line closer to their neck wins. The National Dad Jokes Comp, where everyone’s a wiener <zing!>. And let’s not forget Midlife Crisis Awareness Day; free pin up calendars for all!
Wait a minute; I’m meant to be the organiser of this. Better get cracking then. Damn memory. Ain’t what it used to be. I think.
ALLAN “GET OFF ME LAWN YER DERN KIDS!” SKO
